Varia Chronicles: A Series Of Troubling Issues
Author: lotusx222
Chapter 1: The Love Meter
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS! BY THE WAY THIS TAKES PLACE IN THE FUTURE!
Deep in the base of the Varia, an eccentric looking man was busy typing away on his newly bought computer. Lussuria, who despite what he looks like, is actually an elite assassin is doing something that no mafioso in their whole life would ever think of doing. Not that anyone would want to do it too.
His typing suddenly ceased and then began a frantic collection of clicking. After that more typing, then a single click was heard. A few moments of silence passed before Lussuria burst out laughing like a jack-in-the-box. He was laughing so hard that tears were starting to form at the edge of his eyes, that you will never see.
Since his laughing would most likely attract attention, that is exactly what happened.
The first person to get curious was our good friend, (Whom would kill us for saying we were his good friend) was Xanxus. He heard the laughing, and immediately knew that the voice did not belong to the loudest one in their squad, Squalo. It was too high-pitched, and Squalo had gone to visit those Vongola brats. While his curiosity was aroused, he made no movement to get out of his chair. (He never does anyway)
The second one to get curious about the resounding of gay laughter, was the Fallen Prince (Once again HE would also kill us for calling him a "Fallen Prince"), Belphegor. Except instead of being a lazyass like SOMEONE, he decided to search for the laughter. If someone was having such huge amusement then he needed to take part too.
So Bel went through the hallways, and noted that Squalo was out, so it wasn't his voice. (Plus he never laughs anyways) It was too gay to be Xanxus's. (Besides he only laughs when something unfortunate happens to Squalo. T_T)
Levi...he's just not the type to be amused easily. Fran, laughing? That'll happen when Bel decides he is a peasant. The only one left, who was most likely the cause for such a weird laugh was Lussuria.
Bel didn't really want to go into his room for fear there would be something extremely scary in there. Not the torture weapon scary (Cause Bel likes torture weapons), more like the perverted kind of scary, full well knowing Lussuria's nature.
But he needed to know what was so amusing to laugh that could disturb the boss's sleep, and ultimately lead to the Varia's destruction.
But he bravely went in, with a smile on his face. Just for extra precaution incase Lussuria is up to something that Bel doesn't want to see.
Oh...Bel knew the second he walked in and saw Lussuria on the ground in a fit of tears, while suppressing strong giggles, and then looking up at the computer screen that he assumed Lussuria was previously on, that Bel was correct. It was scary, horrifying, and worse than listening to a peasant call him a peasant.
It was the nightmare of mafiosos such as himself.
It was a ...
...
...
...
...
LOVE METER! (Bel's Face: O_O)
A stupid meter where you put two people's names and see if they are compatible. No one actually believed those things worked, right?
Apparently Lussuria had typed in a pair of names that made him into the sorry state he is now. At the entrance of the room to the computer, he couldn't see what names Lussuria had written.
Bel stepped farther into the room, feeling like he was going farther into an unknown jungle. He started directly at the screen, and spotted the names: Xanxus, and Squalo Superbia.
Bel's head was blank. The words had yet to register in his head. What was really creepy was that the meter went to 100% and said "Destined Soulmates, their love runs deep". Now this...was the one thing that wanted to make Bel barf. Boss, and that idiot? It was clearly out of question. No way in HELL or heaven will they EVER be "destines soulmates."
Not that this love meter is accurate or anything, because it's not, and Belphegor is thoroughly convinced of it.
Lussuria then recovered and stood up from his position on the floor, and faced Bel "Funny...isn't it?"
"Not really...it's sick."
"But...just thinking about it makes my nose bleed."
"It's disgusting, only someone like you would dare think up such an impossible idea."
"That's cruel...saying "someone like me". (ALTHOUGH IT'S TRUE! :P)
Then Lussuria grabbed the mouse, and deleted both the names, and instead put: Fran, and Belphegor.
Before Lussuria could press ENTER, Bel had him by his jacket with a knife threatening to split his head open. Bel didn't want to see the results accurate or not. It was sickening, disgusting, and weird.
But then Lussuria quickly pressed ENTER, and dodged Bel's knife. Bel slowly and most DRAMATICALLY turned around with anxiety.
Then relief washed over him like a tsunami wave. The results are exactly as expected. 0% "They probably hate each other." Yes this love meter was starting to get it. Maybe it was accurate. Bel immediately froze in his tracks...if it was accurate, could it have been right about Xanxus and (gulp) Squalo?
Then Bel shouted to Lussuria "Quit playing matchmaker, and actually get a life, you peasant." Lussuria nodded and just said "Hmm..."
Bel then left the scene, and the room, not wanting to get infected by germs. (No it's not girly, it's totally understandable. XD)
Right when Bel slammed the door shut, Lussuria immediately began typing names, and seeing how compatible they were at the speed of light...or faster.