ISRAEL
A/N - Please read the intro below first otherwise my story will not make a whole bunch of sense.
DISCLAIMER: Proper disclaimer on my author page but as I borrow a few lines from 9x17 in Chapter One am reiterating - no money made, just for fun and appreciation.
SPOILERS: Consider every single episode in jeopardy.
WARNINGS: Please heed my warnings as I don't want to upset anyone. Bad language, non-graphic m/m and f/m relationships, homophobia, graphic torture scene, graphic death of a canon character and upsetting sequences resulting because of that. If any of that bothers or upsets you please don't read this. It may start out rather fluffy but it isn't, that's just the build up.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION: This story begins right at the end of episode 9x17. Everything in the show is canon but because I have created a Mac/Flack relationship I have made two changes. Christine Whitney does not exist in S8 & S9 and Jamie Lovato simply becomes friends with Flack and has a relationship with Hawkes instead. Mac/Flack isn't exactly my cup of tea but in the story it was necessary for Mac to be in a relationship with a character who's in every season. It couldn't be Danny and I chose Flack over Hawkes as I think it's more believable.
My story has lots of flashbacks in it, at least one per chapter and they will always be written in Italics. As soon as the style changes back to normal the flashback has finished. I'll put in an author's note at the bottom of each chapter to say which episode the flashback(s) is supposedly from.
I just wanted to do a brief history to Mac/Flack's relationship so that the flashbacks make more sense. - Start dating in S2x01 and breakup between S2 & S3. During S3 Mac dates Flack in a secretive 'on again-off again' fashion while dating Peyton at the same time. In S4 Flack gets over Mac leaving for London with Peyton and falls in love with Jess. S5 happens as is. S6 happens as is. S7 Mac and Flack start falling in love again. S8x02 they start dating again and that lasts throughout S8 & S9.
So on with the story...
Israel - Chapter One
As police officers in this big, complicated city we see so much bad. So many souls filled with hatred and violence and it's our job to look for them, chase after them and confront them. Over time they can become all we see. As with all evil some good will always come from it. It can bring us together with some of the most dedicated, honourable, kind-hearted people we could ever hope to meet. It can fill hearts with a love so strong that it will endure forever and create unbreakable friendships that will last even in the face of life's most difficult challenges.
Sometimes the good comes when we most need it and least expect it. If we are lucky enough to notice it, set our eyes upon it and appreciate it, it can almost make us forget all of the bad. Today is life, the only life you're sure of, make the most of today. Words of wisdom, a slice of goodness passed on by an innocent soul whose life was cut short by an errant bullet. These are words that will always stay with me, words that are about to change the course of my life forever.
Mac looked exhaustedly around the bullpen that had been mostly tidied of the earlier mess caused by the angry protestors. His eyes flitted to the door as it was pushed open but the person whom he sought was not the one to enter through it. Today had been hard. Harder than he would have guessed when he'd arrived at work that morning. His stomach clenched as he remembered seeing Don collapsed on the floor of the lobby, struggling to get up with some perp beating down on top of him. He had lost it for a moment, seething with anger as he tore the man away from Don and rushed him away from the crowd to safety. That had been careless. If the other cops hadn't been so occupied with the protestors they might have noticed how the concern he showed for Don's welfare was something more than simply comradeship. It was love.
Yes, today had been hard. In fact, that whole month had been hard. It hadn't been since the day Claire had died that he'd felt the numb terror that had possessed him when Don had been kidnapped only a couple of weeks before. He'd thought that had been the end; that he'd never get Don back, that he'd never get to say so many of the things that he'd wanted to for a very long time.
But he had got him back. He had found him and clutched him tight to his chest, afraid to ever let him go again, to ever be parted from him once more. But of course, life moved on. For today is life, the only life you're sure of, make the most of today.
"Mac!"
A voice tore through Mac's thoughts and he looked up smiling. The owner of said voice, the young man whom he sought, was making his way over to him through the desks and remaining officers.
"Don," Mac said quietly.
"Where've you been? Everyone's up on the roof. We're having a bit of a gathering. Hawkes and Adam brought beer!"
Don's face broke out into a wonky grin as he mentioned the beer and Mac found it hard not to laugh at the younger man's slight excitement. Yes, Don was fine. He was okay. Mac needn't have worried for his safety today.
"I was looking for you," Mac said softly.
"Why? What's up?" asked Don, immediately concerned.
"I wanted to talk to you...before we join the others," Mac said.
"Sure. What about?" Don asked.
"Not here," Mac murmured. He stood up and disappeared into the corridor housing the interrogation rooms. He entered one of the few that didn't have a two way mirror and then proceeded to draw the blinds closed to make sure they had the utmost privacy.
"What's going on, Mac?" Don was stood in the doorway, watching him carefully, his head slightly tilted to one side.
"Shut the door," Mac ordered as he drew the last blind.
Don sighed wearily and entered the small room, closing the door after him. Then he waited patiently for Mac to speak. There seemed to be something on his mind, something bothering him and that worried Don. Even though it was usual for Mac to have something on his mind he seemed different tonight, somehow more emotional. Not at all like himself. However, just as Don deemed it necessary to repeat his previous question Mac spoke.
"This is not how I imagined it would happen. I...I don't know if it's how you imagined it would happen or if you even imagined it happening at all," Mac stammered nervously.
Don frowned in confusion. He had no idea what Mac was talking about. "I'm not sure what you're saying. Let's go upstairs, have a beer. Then we can grab some food after..."
Don made to leave but felt his hand suddenly grabbed by the older man. He turned back to look at Mac but was instead pulled close to the other man's body. Mac held him tight for a moment, as though gaining courage from his body being so close.
"No. No, no, no. Stay here. I don't want to wait another minute," Mac murmured.
Mac looked up into the eyes of the man he'd loved for so long. Had wanted for so long but had denied himself of for almost just as long. He loved, Don. Loved him like nothing else in the world.
"I don't have a ring, or a speech. I wasn't even able to stop and pick up a cheap bottle of champagne."
Don swallowed dryly as an idea came to him of what was happening here, right at that very moment, in that very room, in his precinct.
Mac continued on. "I never thought I'd feel like this again. You're everything that's good in my life." Mac paused as he sought the words he so desperately wanted. "We've been through so much together. I need you Don, I want you. I...I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to spend...I just want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side."
Mac took a step away from Don and knelt on the cold, hard ground of the interrogation room. Don's eyes widened in shock and Mac found himself hoping against hope that he was doing the right thing. It felt right to him. He wanted this, wanted Don more than anything else in the world, including his career. He only hoped that Don felt the same.
"Don, will you marry me?" He asked nervously, eyes staring sincerely into the bright blue ones of his friend, colleague and lover, Don Flack.
Don swallowed again and then answered unhesitatingly. "Yes. Of course I will."
Don pulled Mac up off the floor and into his arms, leaning down and kissing him hard. He didn't care who saw, who might enter the room at any moment. He'd just been proposed to and this was the happiest moment of his entire life. He smiled as they broke apart and started laughing.
"This is exactly how I imagined it," he whispered into Mac's ear.
"I love you," Mac replied as he too smiled and hugged Don closer to him.
"I love you too," Don returned as they kissed again.
"I'm sorry I waited so long..." Mac started.
"No!" Don broke away looking seriously at Mac. "Let's not start this again. This is the happiest moment of my life, Mac. So let's not start apologising for all the mistakes we've made in the past...all the excuses and reasons why we never got together sooner. We've done that already. All that matters now is that we are together, that we're happy and we're making a life for ourselves...together."
"You're right," Mac smiled. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine. I just...if we're doing this, I want to do it properly. Our relationship has always been marred by regret or concern for what others may think. From now on, it's just you and me. That's all that's important...and our future, not the past."
Mac smiled at the younger man stood in front of him, the expression on his face so serious.
"When did you suddenly become so wise?" he smirked.
"I learnt from the best," Don replied, giving him a slight wink. "Now, what do you wanna do? Go upstairs and join the others or go someplace quieter?"
"That depends. Will you be staying at my place tonight?"
Don laughed loudly. "That, Mac Taylor, was one of the stupidest questions I've heard you ask. You just proposed to me, of course I want to stay with you. And in case you've forgotten I practically live at yours anyway."
"I guess that's one of the things we'll need to sort out...living arrangements. And of course what we'll do about work and who we'll tell and..." Mac started to frown.
"Mac?" Don interrupted.
"Hmmm?" Mac asked as he refocused on the man before him.
"Shut up and kiss me."
Mac smiled and kissed his now fiancé on the lips.
"Let's go upstairs and have a few beers with the others. Maybe we could tell them the good news? And then we'll go back to yours and celebrate in a more personal way. How does that sound?" asked Don.
"Yeah, good. Sorry. I'm a bit of a mumbling fool at the moment."
"You did great, Mac. Although you really didn't need to kneel down, I'm not a girl."
"I'm well aware of that fact, Don. But I wanted to do at least one part correctly as I didn't have anything else."
"It was perfect, Mac. Really," Don said honestly.
"Just like you," Mac replied as he walked past Don to open the door.
"Soppy..." Don snickered as he shook his head.
Mac held the door open for him and swatted his ass as he walked past.
"So what did Danny say to you?" Mac asked as he unlocked the door to his apartment and let Don in first before following him inside and closing the door behind him.
"Hmm?" Don hummed as he disappeared into the kitchen.
"I said, what did Danny say to you? And shoes off," Mac repeated as he followed Don to the kitchen and paused in the doorway.
Don was bending over, head in the fridge and Mac could hear the clinking of jars and bottles as the younger man obviously searched for something.
"You want something? I kinda fancy pasta. We have some left over from last night, don't we?" Don asked as he toed off his boots whilst still rummaging in the fridge.
Mac sighed wearily and went to pick up the boots, disappearing into the hallway to place them neatly in the closet beside his own. He removed his jacket and hung that up too before returning to the kitchen. Something was now heating in the microwave and Don was sitting at the counter sucking on a spoon. A jar of half eaten peanut butter lay open before him. He grinned childishly as Mac re-entered the room and his eyes shone. Mac raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything; he was used to Don's queer eating habits by now. He walked to the fridge and got himself out a beer. He'd already had three on the roof but it had been a tough and exciting day and he felt he'd earned one more.
Once he and Don had got up to the roof they'd joined everyone in a toast and then sat happily drinking and joking together for a while. He'd told Danny first in private when a moment had risen. Lindsay was busy discussing baby names with Jo and Sid so he'd taken Danny aside and revealed the good news. He thought back to the younger man's reaction.
"Danny, I have something to tell you."
Danny's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What's up, Mac? Is it that we're having another kid because Linds and I have been discussing that. We're going to make it work somehow around work..."
"No, no, no. It's nothing like that. I already told you how pleased I am for the both of you."
Danny looked vacantly at Mac. "What's wrong then? Is it Flack?"
"Kind of," Mac smiled and stared past Danny's shoulder at Don who, at that exact moment, was making a stupid face at something Adam had said. Mac snickered quietly and then refocused on Danny. "We're getting married."
Danny's jaw fell open and he stared dumbly at Mac. "You're what?"
"I proposed to him. He said yes."
"Married? But Mac, isn't that a bit risky?" Danny asked anxiously, concern etched all over his face.
"We know the risks, Danny. We've been dealing with them for eight years. Eight years I could have spent in happiness with him but denied myself of because of what other people might think, what other cops and the Chief might think."
"Then are you sure you're doing the right thing?" Danny asked worriedly.
Mac once again looked past Danny at Don who was laughing hysterically at Hawkes who was doing a re-enactment of some sort of tale. Mac could just about work out that it involved some sort of chase and a dumpster.
"One hundred percent," Mac smiled. He looked back at Danny and steadied a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I love him, Danny. I've loved him for eleven years and I never gave us a chance because of our lives, our jobs. I thought I was protecting Don, but in the end I hurt him more than anyone or anything else ever could have. I don't want to waste anymore time, Danny. I love him and I want the world to know. I feel like I could shout it from this rooftop right now."
Danny looked over at his wife as Mac was speaking. He remembered how he'd felt when he'd finally realised that he was in love with her. He'd felt like shouting it from a rooftop too. And if it hadn't been for Mac, well, they might never have got married. Mac had always been there for him. When Louie had died, when Lucy was born, when Shane Casey nearly killed his family, even when he'd made Sergeant and Cooper had lied about him. Mac was always there. Always supporting him just like the father he'd barely known. If this was what would complete Mac's life, make him whole again, make him feel like Danny had when he'd become a husband and father then there was no doubt in his mind that it was the right decision.
"Mac, I'm really pleased for you," he said earnestly as he also placed a hand on the other man's shoulder.
"Thanks, Danny. That means such a lot coming from you."
Danny smiled. "I know Flack makes you really happy. And both of you deserve some happiness, if anyone does it's you guys after both losing people."
"I'll never hurt him again, Danny."
Danny looked over his shoulder at Flack who was still laughing with Hawkes.
"I know you won't, Mac. He loves you more than you'll ever know."
"I have an idea," smiled Mac.
"He's my best friend, look after him."
Mac released his hold on Danny's shoulder. "I will. I promise."
"Oh and Mac?"
"Yes?"
"Just a suggestion but I wouldn't go shouting it from the rooftop. I don't think Flack would appreciate that too much."
Mac shook his head in exasperation as they rejoined the group.
"Hey, Mac?"
Mac blinked as he felt long arms snake round his waste and hug him tight.
"Mmmm?" he murmured.
"Where were you? You went somewhere for a moment," Don asked as he hugged Mac tighter.
Mac realised that he'd been standing in the kitchen for some time completely absorbed in the memory of his conversation with Danny. His beer was almost empty and yet he had no recollection of drinking any of it.
"Sorry. Was just thinking about today," Mac smiled as he placed a kiss at the side of Don's mouth.
Don grinned knowingly. "And what a day..."
Mac glanced down at the side and saw Don had already finished eating the bowl of reheated pasta that had been in the microwave. He smirked as he thought about Don's amazing ability to make food disappear within seconds and never let it show.
"I'm going to take a shower. You coming?"
"Nah, I'll tidy up here and meet you in the bedroom," Don said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"You bet your ass you will," Mac growled as he kissed Don hard and then disappeared out of the kitchen.
The double innuendo didn't escape Don as he watched Mac's retreating form; head cocked to one side, mouth slightly open.
Don stared at himself in the bedroom mirror, trying desperately to angle himself so he could see the huge bruise that had appeared on his shoulder and back from earlier in the day. He'd felt so pathetic and weak being forced to the ground like that when all the other cops had managed to stay on their feet. If it hadn't been for Mac who knows what would have happened? And so once again, just like a few weeks before, he'd had to be rescued by the older man. If he wasn't careful this was fast becoming some sort of bad habit, something which he most definitely wasn't comfortable with. He was younger, fitter, in better health and should be able to protect himself easily without the need for help from someone that much older than himself. It was just like before with the kidnapping and Don somewhat regretted the conversation he'd had with Mac back in the hospital.
"Mac...I thought I was going to die," Don admitted fearfully. He was sat on a hospital bed, legs dangling over the side, as the older man paced back and forth across the room.
"I know, Don. I can't imagine what you went through," Mac replied, pausing to stare at him.
Don nodded and looked down at his hands which he started to fidget with. "I've never felt so weak and helpless like I did..." he drifted off as he was unable to find the words to continue.
"Don, you're not weak and helpless. Anyone would have been scared in your position."
"But I'm a cop," Don said, voice rising in anger. "I shouldn't ever feel like that. I'm trained how to deal with situations like that but I just...I just froze. I was scared."
Mac stared at him in sorrow at the trauma Don had been through in the past few days.
"It's alright to be afraid, Don," he said sympathetically. "I've been scared many times in my life...it's part of what makes us human."
Don stared back at Mac unconvinced. "I should have tried more to escape," he sighed.
Mac shook his head and put a hand on Don's, stopping the younger man from fiddling with them.
"I was scared too, Don."
Don exhaled disbelievingly. "I doubt that very much. Why would you have been scared?"
"I thought I'd lost you," Mac replied.
Don looked up into Mac's solemn eyes and knew he spoke the truth.
"That looks bad, Don."
Don blinked away his memory and turned to see Mac walking into his bedroom rubbing a towel through his hair, dressed in grey sweats and a black t-shirt.
"It's fine," Don replied irritably.
"It doesn't look fine. Here, let me take..."
"I said it was fine," Don said shortly, with more severity in his tone than he would have liked.
Mac stared at him for a moment in silence, towel dropped to his side. Then he turned and placed it into the laundry basket. Don knew at once that he'd annoyed the other man.
"Look, I'm sorry okay? I just..."
"I understand, Don. You said it was fine and I believe you," Mac responded as he climbed into the bed.
Don stared at him and then rubbed a hand over his face. "Mac, I don't want to argue. Not now. Not today," he said tiredly.
Mac paused in his fidgeting to get comfortable. "Come here," he said softly, offering out a hand towards Don.
Don stumbled forward and took it, being pulled down to sit at the end of the bed. Mac's hand began gently stroking up and down his arm.
"I only care about you, Don. Is that such a crime?" Mac asked sincerely.
Don closed his eyes briefly and sighed. "No, of course not. I just feel that lately you've had to do all the caring, like I can't look after myself. First the kidnapping, then what happened today..."
"And in case you've forgotten it wasn't so long ago I was shot and you had to take care of me. Don't you remember the panic you, yourself, felt when I was kidnapped a few years ago?"
Don stared at him, trying to recall the incident that Mac was referring to. It struck him that there was almost so many now, it was hard to tell one from the other. He searched his memories until his thoughts finally settled on one, not so very long ago, and he felt that familiar dread return to his heart.
He'd felt sick when he'd discovered that Mac had been kidnapped. He almost had to rush to the toilet but fortunately managed to calm himself enough to look convincing in front of the others. Jo had looked at him suspiciously and Danny had eyed him worriedly but Don had tried his best to remain cool and collected. He'd never felt more relieved when Mac had turned up alive and well. He'd remained as professional as possible while he questioned Mac and Jo had processed him, though secretly he wanted to clasp Mac in his arms and never let him go for fear of losing him. It seemed an age before Jo finally left with the evidence.
"Mac..." Don mumbled and moved closer to the other man. His hand brushed against Mac's knee.
"I'm okay, Don," Mac stated seriously.
"I was so worried..."Don found himself unable to voice his concerns.
"I know. But I promise I'm fine. Mac moved his hand to his own knee where it touched Don's leg.
"How?" Don asked, frowning.
"Because I know how I'd have felt if it had been you..." Mac said honestly.
Don half smiled. He wanted so much to hold Mac in his arms but the precinct wasn't the best place for that sort of thing. It was as if Mac could tell what he was thinking as the older man suddenly took hold of his notebook and pretended to read it. Don didn't loosen his grip on it and Mac's hand gently moved until it held his own. Don breathed deeply, feeling Mac's touch, his skin, his living flesh under his hand.
"God, Mac. I was so fucking worried," he murmured.
Mac squeezed his hand gently.
"I need to go," Don finally said apologetically. "I need to work on what you gave me so we catch these bastards...and you should get some rest if you're insisting on not seeing a doctor."
"I'm fine, Don," Mac insisted. "But I should help Jo with the processing."
"Looks like it'll be a late night for both of us then," smirked Don.
"I need to catch the person responsible for Tessa's murder, Don," Mac said tiredly.
"I know," Don said sympathetically. He understood this case was almost personal for Mac. "But maybe we could just...I dunno...maybe I could see you after we close it?" he added hopefully.
Mac once again squeezed his hand beneath the memobook. "I'd like that."
And true to his word, as Mac left the morgue the next day after ID-ing Tessa's body, Don was waiting for him and they spent the rest of the evening together for the first time in a long while.
Mac waited patiently for the younger man's eyes to refocus on him. When they did he carried on speaking. "It's what we do. We take care of each other. It's our job, our life. I'm always going to take care of you, Don, so you better get used to it."
Don smiled weakly and moved further up the bed so he could be nearer to Mac. Mac's hand transferred from his arm to his back and began cautiously stroking over his bruise. "It just made me feel weak today. That I couldn't look after myself. That I needed your help."
Mac moved forward and grabbed hold of Don's head between his hands. "Don't ever think that, Don. You're one of the strongest people I know. You've been through so much and come out a better man for it. A stronger man. A man I love and I won't apologise for caring, for looking after you. Don't forget you'll be my husband soon."
Before waiting for a reply Mac leant forward and captured Don's lips in a kiss, allowing it to be gentle, slow, wanting to claim the younger man's mouth, taste his scent, remind him that he would always be there for him.
"I'm sorry," Don whispered as their lips parted but they didn't move away from each other.
Mac didn't reply but kissed Don again. This time faster, passionately, fuelled by his desire for the man he loved so much. He heard Don whimper as he pushed his tongue into the younger man's mouth.
"I love you, Don," Mac murmured as he pulled away slightly and stared into the bright blue eyes of his lover.
"Mmmm," Don hummed happily as he smiled. "Kiss me again..."
A/N – Flashbacks in order are 9x17, 9x15 and 7x16.
In 9x15 Flack was kidnapped, not Christine. Lovato would take Flack's original part.
Danny/Lindsay relationship will start in the next chapter.