Revenge of the Lost Loves AKA Rewriting History
Originally titled (Before it became known that the title space was too small)
Revenge of the Former Love Interests AKA Let's All Rewrite the EU
by Saber Girl Leia
SPOILERS for Coriellian trilogy.
Note to all you who are reading my other stories. I know I should be updating them, and I am a bad little girl. But I was bitten by a vampire plot bunny, and I am now its slave...
Disclaimer: All belongs to George Lucas, Timothy Zahn, Barbara Hambly, Dave Wolverton, Kathy Tyers, Roger McBride Allen, etc. I'm just borrowing.
Genre: Humor, I hope...
Note: I'm not going to mess up LH or LM, promise!
Another note: Don't ask where this is on the timeline. Obviously, it's just crazy, and basically the only definite thing is that it begins sometime post Vision of the Future.
Final Note: I know this is kinda OOC. It's humor! Laugh!
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Lando was fast asleep until the com rang. He groaned and rolled out of bed, vowing revenge on whoever it was who had disturbed his beauty sleep. Tendra, somehow, had managed to sleep through the stupid ringing. Lando stuck out his tongue at her still form.
He picked up the com, and was met by a familiar face, if one he had not seen in a long time...
"CALLISTA!" he yelled, "What are you doing? You do know Luke's married, right?"
"Yes, I know," she murmured, a dangerous gleam in her eye. "That's part of what I'm here to talk about."
Not good, Lando thought. "Um, Cal, what does this have to do with me?"
A growling noise came through the com system. "Remember when you were chasing Mara?"
"Um... yes, but I'm not helping you sabotage their marriage, if that's what you're asking. I'm married too now, you know."
"WHAT!" The woman took a deep breath and tried to regain her composure. "Fine then. But didn't she cause you a lot of pain when you were chasing her?"
"Well, not so much. I mean, she twisted my arm a few times, but she never actually shot me or cut me up with that lightsaber like she was always threatening to do."
"I mean did she hurt you emotionally!"
"Oh, well, yes, I suppose. And she probably hurt my image."
"Right! So don't you want to get back at her?"
"Well, I dunno. The poor girl's been through a lot."
"Lando. Think of it this way. We could probably sue Luke and Mara for causing us emotional distress or something, and make a lot of credits off it."
"Oh. Well, when you put it that way..."
"Precisely. Now look, you need to meet us tomorrow afternoon. We'll send a messenger to get you at your apartment."
"We...?" Lando ventured, even more disturbed.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention. There's us, Prince Isolder, Teneniel Djo, Gaeriel Capiston Thanas, Brea Tharen, Salla Zend, Joe Schmoe, and Mary Sue."
"Uh... first of all, aren't' Gaeriel and Brea dead?"
Callista waved a hand distractedly. "I'm sure we'll get past that little detail."
"Okay... who're Joe Schmoe and Mary Sue? I've never heard of them."
"A crazed fan and the creation of a crazed fan."
"Right..."
"So I'll see you tomorrow? Money, Lando, money."
"Yeah." He cut the com connection and crawled back into bed, rather baffled by the recent turn of events.
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To be continued...
So, what do you think? Review, please! Constructive criticism welcome!