Hey all.

So Ember got this idea into her head. It happens like all the time, apparently. But she's sure you Ed/Roy fans out there aren't complaining.

Speaking of which, flames are sexy when they come from one person and one person only. Anyone else tries, it's kind of annoying. None of you are Roy Mustang, so don't even bother. Please. Save yourself some time and Ember some needless frustration.

And now, on with the story! Trust Ember, it gets better and happier toward the end! Promise!

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What Really Matters

It wasn't like he'd had no idea this was coming, Edward Elric admitted as he finished packing his suitcase.

It had only ever been sex. It wasn't like they had been anything to each other apart from someone to screw around with. Ed knew that. Even though he had lived at the man's house, it was just a matter of simplicity and not because they actually cared for each other like that.

Ed knew that. Still, it hurt like hell.

He had come home from a mission a night too soon, thinking nothing of letting himself into the place he'd started to call home. He certainly hadn't expected anyone but his lover to be there.

He'd known it was coming. He knew going into this that the man loved her and that when she came around he'd have to leave to let them be together.

He heard footsteps approach from behind. "I'm sorry, Ed. I hadn't meant for you to find out like this."

"It's all right, Roy," Ed said for what felt like the millionth time. "I knew this was going to happen, and I'm happy for you two."

He wasn't, but he sure as hell wouldn't let Roy know that.

As he left he passed her. Waving off her apologies as well, he walked out of the door.

Turning briefly, he saw Roy watching him. Smiling as happily as he possibly could, he waved before walking off, unable to keep the tears from falling as soon as he was out of sight.

~*~*~

Roy closed the door gently after Ed walked out of sight. Turning to Riza, he said, "Sorry about that. I didn't think he'd come back early, and I wish he didn't have to find out that way."

Riza frowned slightly. "You were together?"

Roy shook his head. "Not like that. There was never any emotional commitment. I guess the best way to describe it is a one-night stand repeated over six months."

Yet Roy really had to wonder if that was true as he cast a brief glance at his door. Sure, Ed had taken everything spectacularly well, and Roy was finally with the woman of his dreams, but why did he suddenly feel as if his life had just walked out that door?

Turning back to Riza with a smile, he led her back into the house to offer her some food and company.

The strangest thing about all this was that his heart was no longer in what he was doing. He had wished for this day (although he admitted he wished it had panned out differently with telling Ed) for years, and now he wanted nothing to do with it.

He wouldn't tell anyone that, though. Maybe it was all just because he wished things had gone better and Ed had been gently informed instead of walking in on them kissing.

This was what he had wanted, and he would take it. He would accept it even if it felt like his heart was slowly breaking each time he looked at her and saw him for a split second.

~*~*~

Ed finally made it back to his brother's home in Risembool the next evening, having taken a train as soon as he'd left Roy's house.

Al opened the door, staring when he saw Ed standing there. "Brother, I thought you were going back to Central…"

"Well, I was," Ed replied.

"What happened?"

"Something I've known was coming for a while. In any case, I don't have a place to stay anymore, since I'm sure he wants me out of the way, so I figured I'd come back here for a while."

"Brother, that doesn't answer much. What did he do?" Al's tone took on a dangerous note as they walked to the room where Ed would stay, making Ed worry that Roy would have to deal with a fist every bit as hard as the armor Al's soul had previously resided in.

"He finally found the person he really wants to be with," Ed said with a tired smile. "And I'm happy he did."

"Are you sure, Brother? I thought—"

"You thought wrong. We both knew what we had would amount to nothing in the end. He has Riza now. There's no place for me there." Ed's smile had vanished as soon as he started speaking. "Good night. It's been a long day and I really need some sleep."

As soon as the door closed and Ed was alone he leaned his back against it tiredly. Sliding down the door he sat there, head in hands.

What had happened? He'd known this day was coming, he should've been better able to handle it. So why was he struggling to just not fall apart?

Why did it hurt so bad to know that Roy had found happiness and he wasn't a part of it?

As soon as that thought entered his mind he began shaking with silent sobs. Tears streamed down his face one after another, unchecked now that Ed was alone.

There was no point in keeping up that façade of happiness. He was alone, there was no one he needed to convince he was fine. Even if he tried to convince himself of that, he knew he'd never believe it. He couldn't—not when he was being torn apart from the inside.

~*~*~

Roy lay awake that night with Riza sleeping in his arms, unable to stop thinking about how undeniably wrong this felt.

She was too tall. She should've been a few inches shorter, just tall enough to fit perfectly to Roy's frame.

She was too soft, all curves where there should've been firm planes and muscle.

Her hair was the wrong color. It was a few shades lighter than the pure gold he'd gotten used to.

If her eyes had been open they'd have been the wrong color too, far too brown.

She was too warm. There should've been at least one cold unfeeling limb thrown over him.

She was too quiet. She merely gasped and made quiet little noises instead of yelling profanities or screaming his name.

Really, though, it all boiled down to one thing.

She wasn't him.

Roy had waited for this opportunity for a while, but it wasn't really the one he was meant to stick with. He had passed by the one that was really for him, casting him aside without a second look back.

It was during times like these that Roy could be honest with himself. He didn't want this.

He wanted what he'd previously had. He just hoped Ed could see that too. If not he just might fall apart.

Riza stirred, moving closer with a yawn, and again a wave of vague repulsion moved through Roy. It just wasn't right.

Riza seemed to realize that too, for she looked up at him with serious eyes. "We need to talk," she said quietly, looking as though she was about to leave something important behind.

"About what?" Roy asked, not entirely sure just what she was talking about.

"About how you're still in love with him, so I'm getting out of this while I still can."

~*~*~

Ed woke up a few nights later and rolled onto his side, searching for a body that wasn't there.

When had he gotten so used to sleeping at his side? It felt like a whole half of him was missing.

At this thought he was unable to stop the tears once more. He had been crying—no, sobbing his guts out—whenever he was alone, as quietly as possible so as not to let Al know anything was wrong. Still, though, it seemed like he had plenty of emotion and tears left, and probably always would.

Apparently he hadn't done as good a job of keeping quiet as he'd thought. Footsteps ran down the hallway and the next thing Ed knew he had practically been tackled by a well-meaning Alphonse.

Ed clung to him, shaking hard, sobbing against his shoulder as Al held him close. It wasn't the same—nothing would ever come close. But just now he would welcome comfort from just about anyone.

When he was finally done for the time being, Al quietly said, "I knew you weren't telling me everything. It won't do anyone any good at all to stay like this, wearing a mask throughout the day and falling apart at night." Looking at Ed he sighed. "Tell me what's going on," he insisted quietly.

Even though he was sure he couldn't cry any more than he already had, Ed's eyes stung and he was sure they were going watery again. "I love him," he said quietly. "And now it's too late to do anything about it."

"Oh, Ed," Al said quietly as he pulled him as close as he physically could, again silently offering whatever comfort Ed could take in this situation.

Ed fell asleep like that, in the arms of his younger brother. He couldn't help wishing, though, that it had been his arms instead.

~*~*~

A few days later Roy found himself in front of Alphonse Elric's Risembool home. He had spent a long time after his talk with Riza trying to find Ed, but the blond was nowhere to be found in Central.

This was Roy's last hope. If Ed wasn't here or Al didn't know where he was he wasn't sure what he'd do.

When Al opened the door, Roy had expected a bit of shock. After all, he hadn't let Al know he was coming.

However, once the surprise cleared from Al's face it was instantly replaced by a cold rage that Roy hadn't been expecting. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, frigid disdain dripping from the words.

"I… Al, have you seen Ed lately?"

Al's evident rage intensified. "And what if I had? Why the hell should I tell you?"

Roy stared, shocked by the younger man's vehemence.

Al didn't even pause to notice. "If you saw him now, what would you do? Why should I let you see him when he already cries whenever he's alone because of you?!"

Those harsh words cut into Roy deeper than anything else had in his lifetime. His eyes widened and it felt like a part of him had shattered, knowing he had caused Ed that much pain.

Al continued. "Well? Give me one reason I should let you talk to him. And it had damn well better be good, or you'll find your sorry ass back in Central sooner than you blink."

This time Roy didn't even notice the uncharacteristic threat. He stood there silently for a moment or two before replying quietly, "Because I love him and I want to try and make things right."

It took a second for Roy's answer to sink in. When it finally did, Al smiled tiredly. "It's about damn time," he muttered. "He's upstairs, first door on the right. And he's probably in really bad shape right about now, so don't be too surprised."

Roy thanked Al quietly and followed his instructions, opening the door to a sight that made his heart break all over again.

Ed lay on the bed, hair hopelessly tangled as if it had been neglected for days, clutching at a pillow as his shoulders shook silently. Roy knew without seeing them that his eyes would have reddened severely and tears would be resolutely clinging to his eyelashes.

The image tore him apart further than any word Al had said ever could.

Before he could stop himself, he whispered a single word. "Ed…"

~*~*~

Ed lifted his head off the pillow when he heard his own name whispered by that voice. Staring at the figure in the doorway, he asked under his breath wonderingly, "Is this some kind of dream?"

Roy slowly walked towards the bed, as if he was afraid his very presence would tear Ed apart. "Ed, I…" he trailed off, carefully sitting at Ed's side.

Ed turned his face back into the pillow as tears returned to his eyes. "It must be. This is all just some twisted dream and then I'll wake up and you won't be there and—" He couldn't continue. The pain was just too great.

Ed felt a tentative hand touch his back, gently rubbing up against his shoulder blades as if to offer comfort. "You're not dreaming, Ed. It's real. I'm really here, and I won't leave unless you want me to."

Ed trusted that voice. He trusted it far too much, which was a part of this whole problem. But he desperately wanted to believe that he wasn't dreaming. He wanted Roy to be there so bad it hurt.

It was time to end this dream. Sitting up and reaching out with a trembling hand he gently touched Roy's face, surprised when it didn't vanish before his eyes.

Maybe this wasn't a dream after all. Maybe he was really there.

Shakily moving, he wrapped his arms around Roy and buried his face in the older man's shoulder. Breathing in, he whispered, "Maybe this is real. No matter how good my dreams were I could never smell you."

He had cried all those days because of Roy's absence. So why was it that when he was here all he could do was cling to him and let tears fall once more? It didn't make any sense to Ed.

Then again, it didn't matter because Roy's arms were around him and his hands were gently stroking his back and he was whispering things in Ed's ear that he couldn't really hear. But it didn't matter what he was saying because he was here and he was holding him. Everything was as it should be.

Finally, Ed pulled away far enough to see Roy's face. Roy was smiling tenderly at him and it was making him feel all kinds of strange and wonderful things.

Before this could continue Ed had something he needed to straighten out. "But… what about her?"

"What about her?" Roy repeated.

"You know full well what! Why did you think I left in the first place? I knew from the beginning she was the one you really wanted, and when I saw you two together I knew there wasn't a place for me anymore!" Ed snarled, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

Roy's statement was simple. "We had a talk. She wasn't who I thought she would be, and we reached an understanding. She's just a friend, as she should have been the whole time. Things between her and I were better that way."

Then Roy's hands were tangling gently in his hair, holding both sides of his head with a firm and gentle grasp. "I love you," Roy said. "I'm sorry it took me so long to work that out."

Ed didn't hear the apology. He had focused in on the three-word declaration.

Roy was here, and he loved him. It was almost too much, and all Ed could do was press trembling lips all over Roy's face as he replied over and over again, "I love you too."

They stayed there like that for quite some time before Ed finally pulled back enough to look Roy in the eye. Roy was having none of that, though, and for the first time in far too long their lips met.

Instantly Ed could tell that this was different. This was no creation of passion and lust, unlike every kiss they had shared before. No, this was gentle and soft and sweet and loving and Ed couldn't believe Roy was kissing him like that.

Finally they gently broke apart, neither going far as Ed buried his face in Roy's shoulder once more and Roy nuzzled his hairline. They didn't say anything. Words would have just ruined it. They didn't really matter. What mattered was the closeness they shared.

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See? It got happier, didn't it?

You may have noticed that this does not say "complete". That's because it isn't. As a gift Ember is writing a bunch of fluff that takes plaace shortly after this story and will be posting that in a week or two.

So please review, and expect that fluff to be coming soon!

Ember and Rags to Riches-- the mutant penguins