-GoldenEagle
Author's note: This may suck extremely, since I am horrible with both "short" stories and songfics. This isn't that short, but it's one story. I crammed it all in here, especially the romance, so forgive me if it sucks. But if you don't forgive me, just yap at me in the review, okeedokee? By the way, I worked HARD on this. It took me forever to write. I hope you guys will go through the long installment and read all of it...
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Her name was Celena Schezar. Or was it Dilandau Albatou? She couldn't quite remember. Not this late at night. For, after midnight had passed, after everything was quiet and there was no one roaming the halls, not even her brother... That was when the silence was only broken by words, entrancing, dangerous words in the back of her mind. And that was when she realized that there was not just her awake in the early hours of the morning, but someone else, as well. A boy, a maniac, a demon which resided in the far recesses of her mind. She never told anyone, though, no one. For if Brother found out... He would fear her. Still love her, but fear her, none the less. Yet she was finding that she was starting to listen to that voice more and more. Not just in the night, but now during the day, in the middle of her classes. She'd even daze off while talking daintily with some noble woman. Allen noticed. He always noticed. Just as he had noticed the way her eyes had glassed over when they had reached the Fanalian borders the day before. And perhaps that was when he suddenly realized the truth. He had regained his sister only to lose her again. Most terrifying of all was that he could watch her, sitting right before him, staring out icily around her, and still not be able to find her. He had lost her. And he had no idea where to start looking for the girl that had disappeared so long ago. Disappeared to live out the life of a demon.
Do you listen to yourself
Never live for someone else
She awoke the next morning to the smell of Fanalian air. It would smell a lot better with smoke in it, Dilandau mused in the back of her being. Or had it been her that had thought the words? By the gods, she wasn't sure at this point. Somewhere, during the previous day and night, the two voices had melded into one and she couldn't decipher which was hers. So, this is what insanity feels like, she thought cheerily as she pulled out of bed, her face plastered with a strange and haunting smile. Not too bad. In fact, I kinda like it... "Celena, open the door." A warm voice muffled out from behind her door. Before she could think, Celena's hand snapped down to her waist, gripping over the hilt of a sword that wasn't there. Her earlier, bubbly mood shattered. That instinct had not been hers. And if she had felt the hilt of that sword in her hand, drawn it, felt the weight of the metal in her hands... She wouldn't of been able to stop herself. Stop herself from pulling open the door and impaling her unsuspecting brother. "Celena, are you all right?"
"Yes, fine! I'm just dawning a robe!" She said in a warm voice, despite the coldness that seemed to be devouring at her chest. She quickly threw on the decorated spring colored robe. It reminded her of Fanalia. This great city always seemed to be in spring, a constant celebration. Celebration? Ha! They weren't celebrating when I burnt Fanalia's children to a crisp- "Damn it, Dil, get out of my head!" She muttered out in annoyance as she reached forward to open the door. Her face brightened mechanically as she came into view of her brother. "Good morning, Allen!" She cried out innocently and happily, throwing her arms around her taller sibling.
"Did you sleep well?" He asked quietly, his smile seemingly quiet as well upon his serene face. Celena wondered momentarily if he had carried such a calm look while she was missing. A vision fluttered through her mind for a split second, one of her brother's face contorted in a snarl, blood soaked into his hair. She jerked away from him and he gave her a concerned look. "Are you all right?" He questioned in concern.
Cackling laughter seeped into her brain for a moment. Dilandau laughed at her from his sitting position in her skull, laughed at her reaction to his memory of Allen Schezar in battle. I'm tired of your trickery. It was Celena's own thoughts that muttered to that entity. She was surprised to find him reply briskly. He had never really replied outright before. As I'm sure your brother is tired of yours, dear friend. The title he addressed her by startled her. Startled her so deeply that she glanced up at her brother and finally took note of the look in his eyes. Her pale face twisted into a hardly-held smile. "I did not sleep well last night, Brother. Please forgive my daydreaming." He merely nodded, not looking all that convinced. She hardly took note as he told her to dress accordingly, for she was to meet the king. A dear friend of his. With that, he left, giving her a farewell kiss on the forehead before the maids came in.
She watched them shuffle about around her numbly as she herself floated to the large window. Outside, the newly rebuilt Fanalia was in a blur of motion. It had been five years since the war had ended, and now everyone had basically forgotten about the terrible deeds carried through during its time. She was so entrapped within her thoughts that when the small servant girl came barreling into her, she was caught by instinct.
The sound that echoed through the room dumbfounded the maids into silence. The small girl which had tripped and fallen into her momentary mistress was now on the floor, slightly sprawled out, her hands to her red and stinging cheek. She looked up with tearful and questioning eyes, a small string of blood trailing from her bottom lip down her chin. And above her stood Celena Schezar, her hands to her lips, her eyes wide as she realized she had hit the girl. But, in less than a few seconds, that hand fell, and her eyelids lowered. There was no pity in her eyes as she stared down maliciously at the ten year old girl. When her words came, there was no warmth. "Perhaps you should watch where you're going. I want you out. All of you!" Her voice had risen into a yell, and all the maids made haste to leave the woman's presence. Celena stood there, staring after them dully. At first she had been surprised, even mildly appalled by her own actions. Now all she felt was an odd sense of disconcern. All she felt was apathy for everything and everyone around her.
Do you like the way you feel
Nothing hurts when no one's real
Celena walked regally down the halls, on her way into the thrown room, where there supposedly could always be found a great amount of nobles talking about politics. She smirked at the thought of them, their noses held high. Most of them didn't have a clue to what they were saying. She could often out talk them convincingly, a very surprising thing for a young Asturian noble woman. She knew this full well, and that is why her head was so high when she walked through the doors. She saw her brother immediately, his stance tall and proud. He caught sight of her and smiled, motioning her over. She did so willingly, slyly taking note of the carefully hidden look of caution and sharpness. Was he afraid of her? A smirk she couldn't resist displaying crossed her lips. And yet, as she took another step forward, she stopped, her gaze going over the room. It was empty. Had her brother taken extra measure to keep her from being seen? Was she that great a threat? A rage billowed through her, a rage so dark that it seemed to be drowning her. He had taken away her spot light. Or, to put it more precisely, he had taken away his spotlight. Dilandau Albatou did not like being left in the shadows or hidden from view. He was a person of great pride. The kind you'd find in the middle of a stage, not in the background. Not behind closed doors.
A growl rippled through her, the look in her eyes dark and deadly. "Dear Brother, why do you chose to hide-"
Her voice caught, her entire stature faltered. All thoughts of lost glory were swept away as the man came into view from behind Allen. Two guards stood behind him, looking at her suspiciously as she gaped. Icy blue eyes met a fiery garnet gaze. The emotions that struck Celena were like a hurricane. First came the ones from Dilandau, those instincts and memories. Hate, vengeance, his entire focus on this man's death, and then sorrow... sorrow for what this man had done to his followers... All welling up within her. The other figures in the room saw this on her face, a flickering scowl, a look of horror. Allen stiffened, his hand going forward, suddenly regretting ever bringing his sister to Fanalia. And then different looks crossed her face. After the momentary upwelling of hate, there came a new emotion. One she had never felt before. It closely resembled something she knew well: love. A deep infatuation. But this seemed to hold more. And with that emotion, she quickly threw away the earlier notions she had for the young king. Celena's head twirled, her body swayed backwards a bit. She caught a bit of concern flicker through the raven haired boy's eyes standing in front of her before she felt herself fall, that strange emotion engulfing her, rendering her vulnerable, helpless. And as she fell, she realized with a mixture of fear and wonder what that emotion was.
Passion.
She wants to shake this scene
Yeah she wants to shake with me
She's not looking for the holes in all the lies
Allen Schezar was not only surprised by his sister's sudden dead faint, but by his dear friend's reaction. Van Fanel stepped forward, easily grabbing Celena's limp form within his grasp. He held her uncertainly, as one may hold the unconscious form of a cobra, wondering what to do. And then, before a word could be spoken around him, he gathered her into his arms. The Heavenly Knight gave him a questioning look, but Van ignored it.
"I'll bring her to her room." He said plainly and bluntly, silently, yet effectively, suggesting that he didn't want anyone to follow. The other three figures just stood, dumbfounded.
Van carried her limp form lightly, ignoring the strange glances he received from guards wandering the halls and castle subjects. He paused before the doors to her room, the room he had suggested Allen have her stay in. There was a very specific reason why the room had been chosen, and that was because it was the farthest from his own. After a long pause, he pushed into her room, scanning it and momentarily wondering why the maids hadn't finished making her bed. There was the strangest stirring within him, like the soft beat of dove's wings, and it distracted him so that it actually took him a few minutes to realize he was still holding Celena close to his chest. And that she was awake.
I wanna bullet proof your soul
Would you like to lose control
I won't let you fall until you tell me so
There was a moment of tense silence as their eyes hovered up to meet eachothers, and Van took a deep gasp, surprised by what he saw in her eyes, but even more startled of how his heart rose to greet the emotion. Hitomi, give me strength. There was no answer to his plea. There had been no answer for four years now. And still he found himself utterly lost in this girl's gaze, a girl he had tried to distance himself from completely, even sending her to room on the other side of a castle.
He was terrified to find he couldn't let her go, even though her weight was heavy in his arms, even though she was so close, too close, for comfort. Instead, he muttered a simple question, one he was startled to find exiting his mouth in such a serious tone.
"...What are we...?"
There was a pause from the silver haired girl in his arms before her neck craned forward, a murderess and yet lustful look in her eyes. Van found his knees going weak, and he sat down quickly onto the unmade bed, Celena in his lap. Her breath came hot against the nape of his neck before she turned her head. Her lips brushed against his ear, answering his question in a whisper like the wind.
"...Everything..."
Van turned his head to the side, meeting her gaze, his heart beat quickening, and his fear rising as well. He was inches away, and in the depths of her eyes, he saw something all too familiar. "You're still in there, aren't you, Dilandau?" His voice was a whisper. A whisper of fear, or perhaps anticipation. He was answered as Celena pushed herself forward, her lips meeting his roughly, her hands running through his hair, pulling at it. First, the young king's lips didn't reply. He had never been kissed, even touched in such a commanding and blunt way. Yet, as Celena bit into his lips hungrily, splitting it open, he replied. The moment his tongue left his mouth to meet hers, he felt the passion explode inside of him like a bombshell. She tasted like spring and winter, cherries and blood (his blood, he realized), and at the same time, she tasted like life and death. The intoxicating contradiction of each sense raptured his entire will, and he found himself losing control to something he had truly only known for a few minutes, but had hated for a lifetime.
All I need
I've know before
"Allen!"
Would you come my way
Or did you burn out to the end
Shut-up, Dilandau!
He stopped her, his eyes going aflame, his jaw clenched. "What did you do?" His voice was a malicious, dangerous whisper, one that held no honor or pride, just the pain of betrayal. She looked up to meet his eyes, and in an instant, felt her temper flare.
"Let me past, Brother." She said coolly, her voice cold, but not nearly as frozen as her eyes. He looked down on her, his gaze shifting. She tried to push past him, but found herself on the floor, stunned, barely holding the bedcovers around her. He had struck her, struck her, and now, as she looked up at him, she could tell he regretted it, a deep sorrow lining his face, making him look much older than he really was.
"Stay away from Van, Celena. It'll destroy you both." With that, he turned on his heel, exiting the room. She was left alone, alone, wholly alone. A childish fear passed over her as tears slithered down her face.
"Van!" Her voice was a wale, crying out. The name's owner heard her call out. He paused, glanced back, and then left, his fists tightly curled as he turned away from the impulse to run back to her.
Would you come my way
Should have listened when you called my name
Celena had been mildly surprised with the slight concern Dilandau had shone towards her feelings. As if he understood the betrayal she felt, the love she was enduring. He sympathized with her. Actually talked to her normally. And he seemed to want to help. Yet, Dilandau was a person of tricks. Even if this was not a prank to lower her defenses, she knew the instability of the ex-DragonSlayer's sanity, and so she held him at arms length in her mind, careful to listen to him, and even more careful to reply.
She hadn't left her room, and no one had been sent for her since that morning. Now it was late in the night, or early in the morning, and she could hardly discern that blurry line that set her apart from Dilandau Albatou. It was during that time, in the deepest depths of her depression and confusion, that she left almost unconsciously, her feet seeming to have a mind of their own. Her heart knew where she was going before she knew, and her mind only caught on when it found itself rationalizing that the more guards in the halls, the closer she would get to the king. She came to his chamber doors by almost pure instinct. The three guards glanced over her trembling and pale form curiously before regaining their indifferent stance.
"I need to speak with King Van." Came Celena's voice, stronger than she felt. Was it her that was speaking at this point, or Dilandau? She couldn't decide... Yes, decide was the right word. She couldn't decide if it was her or him, and somehow she knew that it was her choice, her choice if it was a part of her or not.
"We're on strict orders not to disturb his majesty." One of the armored men replied curtly. An inhuman rage built up in Celena and she struck him, backhanded him hard before pushing into the door behind him before he could react. That was when she realized, with a since of fearful forbidding, that she was not completely herself. That the blow to the guard's jaw had been Dilandau's blow, and the words before that had been his, too. Where am I? This is my body, my mind... But not my actions. Control yourself, Celena. Control yourself before he controls you.
She managed to only get the door open a crack before she felt strong fingers dig into her shoulder fiercely. "Not so fast, little lady." She turned on him, her earlier, murderous rage replaced with an ever-growing weariness. The man was pulling her back, a more vengeful look on his face than one that would portray loyalty to his king, but he stopped suddenly, his eyes darting behind her.
Celena sensed the door behind her opening, knowing full well who would be in the doorway. "Let her go." The man's voice was deep and wary, as if he wasn't sure how to react to her being here now. The man released his grip on Celena's shoulders and she turned, keeping her head so low that the only thing she could see of the king was his boots. As the door closed behind her, shrouding the room in an uncomfortable silence, she glanced up, reluctantly and timidly meeting his gaze. Why are you still awake,
-sweet lover.
-damn bastard.
The contradicting words in her mind made her start physically and Van glanced at her, a slightly worried look on his face. What he saw in her eyes wasn't the moments before withdrawn one, but a very strong look. An emotion that she seemed to take as her own with a mild surprise. But the look was clear. She lusted for him. Yet not the way of the night before. She lusted for more than his body, his kisses, his love...
She lusted for him. His being, his life... and his death.
Yeah she wants to tear you down
And she leaves without a sound
"We need to talk, Celena." He muttered, his voice quiet in his own throat.
"Of course. There is much to say." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but her eyes seemed to be screaming out to Van.
There was an uncomfortable pause before he spoke. "I... care for you, Celena. Yet I don't know how to react to these feelings, because..." His brow furrowed as he tried to form the right words. "Because..."
"Because you see him in me. You see Dilandau in me, and it scares you." She replied for him, her back straight and head held high. Despite her strong stance, her voice wavered.
A heavy sigh escaped Van's lips. He absently picked a sword up off of his desk, the Fanel sword, and fingered it in his hands ever so slightly. It was a mistake he shouldn't have made. The glint of the light hitting the strong blade set Dilandau off. That dim line between personalities merged, and Celena found herself lost in someone else's thoughts, someone else's desires. She stumbled backwards, her hands searching for something she wasn't even aware of. Her palm hit cold metal, and she suddenly ran forward. Van didn't raise his sword, didn't even flinch, as if he knew she would do this, as if he knew it was his fate.
And then again Celena stumbled backwards, but more out of a swiftly growing terror. She back out onto the open balcony, that line between her and the mad man suddenly put back into place, so fully that she felt alone in her own mind. Her foot caught on the bottom of the marble divider, and she felt herself fall backwards, her back connecting with the stone that was meant to protect from such falls, and her entire body rolling back. She saw Van reach out for her, his hands outstretched, covered with his own, crimson blood. The dagger still jutted from his chest, and his mouth opened to call out for her. A small trickle of blood formed at the corner of his mouth, and two, glorious wings burst from his back. Feathers that had once been white were turning a horrible shade of black. And still Celena fell, off of the edge of the balcony.
It's like falling backwards
Into no one's arms
She felt herself falling, saw the balcony grow farther away, and then... A figure, hurling itself down to her, reaching out, grasping her, pulling her to it. Van held her, held her to his chest, hovering, his now jet-black wings beating in the night air. Celena looked up, ignored the blood pouring out over her from the wound in his chest. His eyes were slightly dim. She could see his death there. A part of her was pleased. She would have been appalled by the thought if it weren't for the other thoughts that went with it. A part of her was pleased he was dying, and that same part, that same entity, saw that as his release. Now he could die in peace, as well. "Celena-"
"It was Dilandau." Neither could speak above a whisper, and she buried her head into his shoulder, crystal tears falling.
"I think I love you." Van said absently.
"I think I feel the same way." She replied.
You're a bullet through my soul
And I'll never let you know
Van's wing beats faltered. He didn't have the strength to pull them both back up to the balcony, nor the strength to let them land gently.
I won't let you fall until you let it go
Van pulled her closer, pressed his lips to hers. She replied in full. Did Celena even know who she was at this point? No. But she knew who she could have been, and that made her hold Van's failing body even closer.
What are we And the two of them? They were fated to be more than passing entities. Their lives intertwined delicately. They were enemies. They were lovers. They were-
-Everything
Van's last thoughts as his body gave out, his wings going limp by his side, was one of regret and joy. He regretted not knowing what he now had in his arms until this late. And he was overjoyed to know he had experienced it. A bit of dying wisdom hit him as he began to fall, Celena in his arms.
Some of the best treasures and discoveries in life are of the things you've known, and not understood.
All I need
I've known before
And they fell, her head pressed tightly against his chest. Despite her terror of what was to soon come, she felt a strange solace in this man's arms. We may be two different people, Celena, but we both had the same fate. Me and you, we both ended up in the same place. In the place we belong.
Yes, Dilandau. We did, didn't we?
Would you come my way
Or did you burn out to the end
The earth reached up to hit the two figures and Celena (or was it Dilandau) called out, despite herself.
"Van!"
Would you come my way
Should have listened when you called my name
They were found before dawn by a palace guard. The news had been relayed over all Fanalia by sunrise. Allen had hung his head, withdrawn within himself at the news. The news of the king of Fanalia and an Asturian girl found curled together after a great fall. The news of the boy-king and the Schezar girl with the strange scar on her cheek that had not been there the days before.
Fin
Author's Note: So? Was it too horrible? If it weren't for Hitomi, I think Celena and Van would be the most tragic, and thus most romantic, couples in Escaflowne. I just heard this song and thought, "That is so Celena." And that is how this story was born. The song is Bullet Proof by the Goo Goo Dolls (my fave band). So, please read and review and tell me what you thought.