This was it, I couldn't believe it. I had packed my bags then made sure they were in the car along with my two year old daughter Perriann who was sleeping soundly in her car seat blissfully unaware of what was happening, I had to leave France even if it was my birthplace and safe haven I had no the past six months my life has been utter shit, my best friend and cousin Colleen Hess died in a fatal car accident when she was out walking before dinner, she always loved walks even as a girl, I was grief stricken and depressed. Josef didn't even let me go to the Funeral.

Before I left I scribbled down a quick letter to my loving boyfriend then practically sprinted to the car and drove off to the Ferry port

Josef,

You have left my with no other choice, I fear for the safety of my daughter and myself because of your abusive and drunken behavior. You are demanding and a bully who has no idea what the term love means, even the conception of our daughter was through an act of evil and I have had enough, I am taking Perrie and leaving France for good. Don't try and stop me or contact I am changing my number as soon as I reach my destination, I'm sorry it had to end this way I really am but as I said, you left me with no choice.

Francesca

My heart was going at practically one hundred miles per hour and I couldn't only hear its dramatic beating in my ears as tears streamed down my face, thank god I had booked the ticket weeks ago or I would be utterly screwed as I drove up to the booth were a very manly looking women sat waiting for me... at least I think booked the tickets? oh shit "nom s'il vous plait?"

"Francesca et Perriann Beaulac" I said mustering up all the confidence I could find. The clerk looked on her computer checking the files not looking very convinced. The moment she started shaking her head I thought I was going to throw up, even more so when she said

"Je suis désolé mais nous n'avons pas ces billets sur le système" oh god, oh god please say I confirmed the booking.

"Perriann sans 'e' à la fin ?" I tried to reason and she checked again still shaking her head and let me tell you: if I didn't know what a panic attack felt like before I sure as hell do now! she must have checked for at least five minutes before she said

"Ah oui! désolé, appréciez s'il vous plaît votre séjour" she said cheerfully as she handed me my tickets. I gave a sigh of relief and nodded thanks before I then drove my car up and into the car park on the bottom of the ferry itself. I only took my travel bag with me as it had everything myself and Perrie needed for tonight.

Once in my room I put Perrie's travel cot up and made sure she was nice and cuddled up so at least one of us could sleep easy then it hit me, I was on a ferry going in England and I had positively no idea where I was staying! Panic took over me as picture of me begging with Perrie by my side came into my mind, feverishly I dialled my friend Abbey's number in hope she hadn't changed her number "come on abbey pick up, please!" I said

"Hello?" I heard a voice say

"Hello Abbey! its me Fran" I said realizing how thick my french accent must have sounded to her; we hadn't talked in a few years, not since I first met Josef

"Fran! oh my god hi how are you?" that was all it took for me to breakdown. I explained everything to her from the start of the abuse to me running away including my doubts that Perrie is even Josef's, I suppose you'll get to know more about that as you read on "Oh Jesus Fran, why didnt you tell anyone about this?" Her english accent soft and caring

"I was afraid" I said meekly cringing at how weak that sounded I heard my friend tut on the other line I could even see her shaking her head

"Which port are you going to?" she asked

"Dover"

"Right if my experience with ferry's is any use at all you should be there with the next few hours, when you arrive get a cab to the Royal blue hotel and I will meet you there" she told me "then we can drive back to London and you can stay with me until you figure out something" I nodded and sniffed

"Thank you so much Abbey, you really don't know what this means to me" I sobbed

"Hey, what are friends for? calm down I'm sure everything's going to be okay, we will figure something out I promise" she soothed I shook my head

"I just don't know anymore" I was trying my best not to break down again, that's the last thing I wanted to do.

"Fran just promise me something" she asked me curiously I waited for her to continue "When you get to where ever your going, where are you going by the way" well that's a good question Abbey just let me think of a list of people haven't pissed off or pushed away since I got with Josef! I thought to myself then began to ponder who would actually go to

"I don't know, I suppose I could call Graham but I just think that it would be a bit awkward " I said lightly.

"Why awkward?" Abbey said confusedly and I rubbed my tired eyes with my hand Jesus Christ I didn't want to relive that story right now and just shook my head

"That is another story for another time"

"Mmm, well just promise me if you do go Graham's then please tell someone, I've spoken with Graham before he's a good man and" she cleared her throat "Quite a good looking brother I seemed to remember" I immediantly tensed at the mere mention of him, I had to clear my throat a few times before speaking

"Yes well, that has nothing to do with this" I said trying to avoid the topic

"Yes, well anyway get some sleep and I will see you in a few hours, remember what I said" all I could do was nod and say

"Thanks Abbey" before I hung up, fucking hell my life was just screwed up right now. The only good thing I could think of now was getting some well deserved rest.

When I woke the next morning just in time before the ferry docked and I gathered my things then walked down to the car with Perrie in my arms before placing her lightly down in the car seat and took a good look at her, anyone that had met her said she was a stunning baby (like Bo I thought lightly) with her long brown hair and her warm chocolate eyes I began to ponder something in my head before quickly shoving it aside.

Once the ship docked I followed Abbey's instructions and drove to the Royal Blue Hotel where I saw abbey's blonde head waiting in a car and smiled straight away and I got out at the same time as her "Abbey!" I shouted and ran to give her a hug

"Oh my god its been so long!" she hugged me tightly, as she pulled away she walked to my car and saw Perrie "My, oh my she has definitely grown!"

"Well I hope so she was just born when you saw her" I chuckled and she gave me a look

"You know what I mean, smart arse" but I just gave her an innocent look.

"Are you dumping the car or keeping it?" she said getting down to business

"Leaving it, I have no use for it when I'm going by plane" she nodded understandingly and began to help me load my things into her car which only took around ten minutes because I didn't have much "Have you spoken to Graham yet?" She said as we began to drive to her place and I shook my head, sighing I turned around to look at my daughter in her car seat who was reading a book (one for her age group).

"No, not yet I was hoping to do it once I had got to your if that was okay?" I told her turning back around to my friend who was nodding her blonde head

"Absolutely, have you got a phone?" as if on cue my mobile phone started ringing, I didn't recognize the number so I picked up

"Hello?" I said gingerly

"You selfish bitch! how could you do this to me? me?! when I find you, I am going to make you and your precious little girl" I hung up before he could say anymore and began panicking, he knew I hadn't changed my number so he knew I wasn't at my destination yet. Had he looked at my web history? holy shit would he come here? crap, crap, crap, crap!

"Fran, who was it? calm down please Fran tell me" she said calmly as she pulled into the side of the road

"Oh god, it was him, oh my god what am I going to do? what if he find Perrie?" I began having what felt like a panic attack, I could breath and my world was spinning around me

"Who was that mummy?" Perrie asked innocently, bless her

"No one sweetie don't worry" I tried to sound calm

"Fran don't worry, calm down, you need to call Graham and tell him everything" that was when I realized. Everything had changed and could go from bad to worse anytime soon, I just hope I would have someone there to catch us if we fall.

When we got home to Abbey's house we put my stuff in a spare room and then we sat staring at my phone as Perrie played happily with her toy's "Call him, home phone or mobile I don't care, you need to do this Fran" she stated sternly as a mother would to a child and I nodded while gulping down a wave of fear, I took a deep breath then called Graham on his home phone and waited while it rang

"Hello?" a familiar voice said, but it wasn't Graham's.

"Oh hi, erm, Merrill it's me Fran, Francesca Beaulac" I said nervously Christ anyone could have picked up the phone but it had to be him! how awkward...

"Oh" he sounded slightly shocked "Hi can I help you?"

"Yes is graham there?" I asked

"Yeah, I'll go get him"

"Thanks" I said gently, I heard him hesitate then say something in the distance, probably getting Graham. Abbey looked at me puzzled by why I was atng like this to Merrill but I gave her a look saying I would explain later

"Hello, Fran?" I heard a friendly voice say and I gave a sigh of relief

"Hey Graham its me" I gave a nervous laugh

"How are you? are you okay?" my mood faltered slightly as I shook my head and replied

"No, I'm not actually I kind of need you help" that was when I explained my currently situation for a second time breaking down at the end earning a comforting side hug from Abbey "and now I am staying with Abbey, but I need to get Perrie out of Europe, he called me before Graham I'm scared what he would do if he found us" I sobbed, Graham tried to comfort me on the other line

"Okay, okay calm down its okay" he said making me sob harder "listen okay this is what your gonna do, you are going to get on the next plane to us and you are going to stay with us, we'll change your phone, and number everything so he cant find you" I nodded

"Okay that sounds nice" I sniffed

"Merrill and the others will be pleased to see the two of you, its been so long" Bo and Morgan I can believe but Merrill, haha maybe not?

"I know and I am so sorry! I was so caught up with Josef I just let him pull me away" I explained

"It's fine I'm not blaming you don't worry, you get some rest now and I will see you soon, tell me when your at the airport" I nodded. I have never felt more grateful to someone in my life besides Abbey

"Thank you so much Graham! I wont forget this! I promise I will do anything" he silenced me by saying there was nothing to be returned and that I only come to America safely. Once I was done talking to Graham I put Perrie to bed tucking her up so she was comfortable, but I was quite startled when I saw Abbey sat on the coach with a bottle of wine and two glasses giving me a strange look... that sounds even weirder than I thought.

"You missy have some serius explaining to do!" I took a full glass of wine and gulped a large amount down causing my friend to chuckled "Seriously I sense history between Mr Merrill and you" she smirked but I looked at her wearily

"What do you want to know?" I said cautiously then I swear the devil could have crapped himself at the evil look Abbey was giving me

"Everything" I sighed and looked at the floor for a moment before back at my friend Abbey who was now looking at me expectantly...

"Fine!" I gave in and took a deep breath before I started talking "Back in July 1999 I was visiting Colleen and Graham, I hadn't seen them in so long" I smiled at the Memory of Morgan and Bo when they saw me "and we went to see Merrill at a baseball game, he was really good and eventually his team won" I took a long swig of my wine and then topped up my glass, boy I was going to need more of that stuff "Anyways, after we went back to Colleen and Graham's and put the kids to bed and had a lot to drink, Merrill offered for me to stay at his for the night and, I accepted" I closed my eyes trying to block out the memory "We got back to his, drank kind of had a fight then..." I didn't need to say anymore and she got the idea

"Oh my god you had sex!" I cringed deeply and nodded

"That's not the worst part" I stopped her laughing. she looked at me confused then said

"What do you mean?"

"Well shortly before I came to America Josef...H-he" I couldnt bring myself to say it as I felt tears sting my eyes "He raped me" I burst in tears as Abbey gave me a hug

"Oh darling, why didn't you tell anyone?" I looked up at her quickly

"I did! Merrill found out and that's how we got into a fight!" I looked down guiltily

"Hold on, if you had sex with Merrill after Josef... hurt you then, who's Perrie's father?" I stuttered slightly trying to make up a sentence "Oh fuck, Fran you don't know do you?" I shook my head and responded

"Of course I do she...She's Josef's, shes got to be" I said more to myself than her but she didn't look convinced, we said nothing more on the matter and just talked about how Abbey had been doing in England. I did get this massive feeling of doubt though, who was Perrie's dad? ... It was Josef, but then she does show a bit of Merrill sometimes... no, no it's definitely Josef...I think.

what do you think? good? bad? terrible? let me know but clicking that little review button down there the next one should be up shortly so stick around!

Translations:

nom s'il vous plait?- Name please

Francesca et Perriann Beaulac- Francesca and Perriann Beaulac

Je suis désolé mais nous n'avons pas ces billets sur le système- I'm sorry but we do not have these tickets on the system

Perriann sans 'e' à la fin ?- Perriann with no 'e' at the end?

Ah oui! désolé, appréciez s'il vous plaît votre séjour- ah yes! sorry, please enjoy your stay