A/N: This story is a companion one-shot to my story "No" (a series of times Yamato/Tenzou can recall saying 'no' to Kakashi), set somewhere in the middle of chapter two, but can totally be read on its own.
Tenzou's one room apartment has always been enough for him. It is much bigger than the cell he used to occupy in Root and much more comfortable than whatever laboratory equipment passed for accommodation before that. Sometimes it actually feels as though his current apartment is too big, too empty with just one person in it. It seems like clockwork that the nights when Tenzou begins to feel this way are the nights when Kakashi comes.
Kakashi just appears on some nights such as this one when Tenzou is cleaning the dishes from his modest dinner for one. Tenzou always keeps his apartment spotlessly clean so it almost looks as though no one lives there. But the nights when Kakashi comes always make the room feel a little bit different.
Tenzou is still in his kitchen when he feels Kakashi's presence appear but instead of acknowledging it he just continues with his tasks and sets some water to boil for tea. Kakashi doesn't mind. He is already settled on the couch reading a book. Tenzou is slightly surprised to note that the book isn't one of the usual Icha Icha series but rather one of his own books on architecture. And then he notes that he shouldn't be surprised because humans are multi-dimensional beings, and that includes Kakashi. Tenzou wonders how many dimensions he himself has. If he asks Kakashi, will he tell him? He doesn't ask.
When the tea is ready Tenzou pours two cups and sets them on a tray which he then brings to the small table in the small space designated as the living room. This space has only one table and one couch and one bookcase but that is enough for Tenzou. Tenzou grabs his own book from the bookcase and his own cup of tea from the tray and curls into the opposite corner of the couch from where Kakashi sits. Tenzou always pours two cups of tea even though Kakashi never takes one. It is only common courtesy that makes him do so or maybe it is wishful thinking.
Tenzou opens his book to the last page where he left off but his eyes instead drift over the edge to observe Kakashi. He has removed his vest and folded it neatly over the back of the couch, which is something he normally does when he feels comfortable in a place. It pleases Tenzou to know that Kakashi feels comfortable in his home. As his eyes drift down towards his hands the next thing Tenzou notes is that Kakashi has also removed his gloves. This, Tenzou has come to learn, means that Kakashi is planning on doing more than just reading tonight. Something warm flutters in Tenzou's gut and he waits.
They don't usually speak on some nights such as as this one and that is ok with Tenzou. But he wonders, if they did, if their conversations would be something like those on the radio dramas from the Capital, the ones he listened to when he first tried to learn how people interact. Those conversations always seem to go something like this:
- Honey, I'm home!
- Welcome back dear, how was work?
- Oh don't even get me started on work today.
- I made your favorite for dinner tonight. Wash up and we'll eat together.
- What would I ever do without you?
It doesn't bother Tenzou that those conversations always happen between a man and a woman. He doesn't see why it would be any different if it were two men.
He supposes his and Kakashi's conversations aren't too different either, when they have them. Outside of a mission, their conversations might go something like this:
- I finished the mission report, is there anything else you need?
- Just the usual.
(The usual meant cleaning his gear and preparing his pack for the next mission)
- Ok. When is our next mission?
- After the funeral.
- There is a funeral this time?
- He had a family this time.
- Do you want me to iron out your formal wear?
- Let's not go.
- Ok.
This makes Tenzou wonder if Kakashi will go to his funeral but he doesn't ask. He likely won't even have one.
These thoughts start to fade as Tenzou finally gets lost in the pages of his book. It is a historical drama set in the warring states period in what would become the Land of Water. There is some romance involved but Tenzou is more interested in the fictionalized clan politics and tales of piracy. If they ever become allies with the Land of Water Tenzou thinks he would like to visit one day - as a tourist, not as an assassin. And he might still steer clear of its hidden village.
When the last bit of tea is drained from his cup, Tenzou stretches out to place it back on the tray. He extends each limb in turn, reminiscent, Kakashi often teases, of the creature on Tenzou's ANBU mask. Kakashi has not touched the other cup of tea, as Tenzou suspected, in fact he has barely even moved for the last hour, but Tenzou doesn't mind. He goes to replace his book in his bookshelf which is organized first by genre and then by author. Seeing as the only other fiction he owns are mysteries and those have their own category, Tenzou places this book under 'History'. It is a bit of a stretch but he has to make do.
It is only then that Tenzou senses a movement in Kakashi's chakra and suddenly the older nin is right behind him, immediate, hungry, enticing. Tenzou must remind himself to breathe. He watches one gloveless hand reach up to replace the book its owner was reading on the top shelf under 'Architecture', which Tenzou appreciates, before he turns around to face the man who has found his way in. It is apparent that the teacups will not return to their rightful places tonight. One gray eye is already staring at him in anticipation, and Tenzou feels a flush come over his cheeks and his heartbeat quicken in his chest when he hears a low voice say, "Close your eyes."
Tenzou does.
This is all part of their routine, the one they have designated for some nights such as this one. This part is just as familiar as the sudden appearances and the hours of silent reading. This part is connection without the need for words. Tenzou pushes forward only slightly because he does not want to get caught up against his bookcase but beyond that he lets Kakashi take control.
Kakashi is the first person he has ever kissed and when Kakashi does it like this Tenzou cannot imagine ever kissing anyone else. Tenzou cannot imagine anyone else's hands running up along his back or grasping firmly around his waist or tugging gently at his hair. Like this the mission they completed only that same morning feels as though it could have happened days ago, or even in another lifetime. Like this they are no longer two lonely people but instead one less-lonely being and the apartment no longer feels too big but instead just right.
There is a shift in weight and suddenly Tenzou is being lifted and the loss of foundation beneath his feet causes him to instinctively wrap his limbs around the sturdy body holding him up and cling to it as if it is the last tangible thing tethering him to the earth, because Tenzou's heart is way far out beyond the atmosphere by now. And then he is moving and Tenzou knows the layout of his own apartment well enough that even before he feels the semi-soft cushions or the made-up sheets he knows he is being taken to bed.
There is a kind of game he and Kakashi play. The game is that Tenzou cannot open his eyes until Kakashi tells him to, and this way Tenzou never sees what is under Kakashi's mask (and there are many theories Tenzou has as to why but he doesn't ask). But when he feels the warmth of Kakashi's body leave him after he is laid down on the bed he almost, almost breaks this rule. His arms still reach up pathetically for a moment before falling back down to his sides. He counts painful seconds when he cannot sense Kakashi's presence near him.
But then he feels the indent of the bed and the warmth is back by his side and lips are nuzzling into his ear, his neck, his jaw, leaving a trail of sweet kisses like dewdrops all the way back to his lips. Cool fingertips trace patterns on the skin along the hems of his clothing, each delicate stroke sending shivers all the way through to his core. Eyelashes fluttering against his skin match the fluttering pulse of his blood rushing through his veins and every fibre of his being is on high alert as if he is rushing into combat. This is the same adrenaline that courses through his system in the moments before he kills a man and Kakashi could kill him in this position but Tenzou trusts him enough not to. This type of trust is both terrifying and exhilarating and is only heightened by the weight of Kakashi's body moving over his and the rush of Kakashi's hands searching for every inch of skin they can possibly reach. Tenzou feels every touch like pinpoints of electricity and he isn't sure if that is because it is the nature of Kakashi's chakra or it is in Kakashi's nature to make him feel this way.
Strong hands tug at Tenzou's shirt and Tenzou nearly melts when he hears Kakashi's breathless voice ask, "Yes?"
"Yes," Tenzou readily consents because in this moment he can think of nothing else. He wants and he does not let himself feel bad for wanting. A weight lifts off from his chest before his shirt is slipped over his head, and the chill on his now exposed skin makes his arms instinctively cross over his chest. This cold lasts only for a moment before his arms are gently pried open, and Kakashi wraps himself in Tenzou's embrace and nudges his face into the crook of Tenzou's neck and inhales deeply through his nose and just...
...lays there.
This part is new. Tenzou feels the tickle of Kakashi's warm breath on his exposed skin but nothing else. Tenzou traces the scars on Kakashi's back down to his impossibly thin waist and senses the muscles relax but Kakashi does not move. Tenzou doesn't mind. This skin to skin contact is all he really wants anyway, all either of them really needs it seems. At this distance they can feel their hearts beat against each other and know they are alive. They can cling to each other and know they won't disappear.
For now, at least.
Tenzou knows that on some nights such as this one Kakashi never stays. Kakashi will likely slip away while Tenzou is sleeping so that Tenzou will open his eyes to an empty bed in the morning. Or maybe...tonight will be different. It certainly feels different. Tenzou wonders what will happen if he asks Kakashi to stay.
Tenzou doesn't ask.
Tenzou doesn't open his eyes and Tenzou doesn't let go. Tenzou just holds Kakashi to him and lets the warmth between their bodies grow until it burns. Just this is enough. For now, at least.