A/N: A/N: I think (yes, I do think, believe it or not!) a
few people have done this sort of fic before. But I also think (twice in one
day?!) that this is a little deeper and more original…and certainly longer than
the ones I have seen. And I have been working on this for a really long time…so
I didn't copy anybody! There are five parts to this, and some will be shorter or
longer than others. I will post them with a few days in between, depending on
how many reviews I get (*hint hint*). Warning: This series is probably slightly
more depressing than you would think. Oh, and also, about my other series, Neighboring
Magic, I am
still writing it! The next chapter is just really hard to write…keep checking
back/put me on AuthorAlert.
Disclaimer: Everyone and
everything mentioned belongs to JK AKA the Harry Potter goddess. Except for
maybe the Mirror. I want the Mirror! Then I can stare into it all day, looking
at my Draco…::Draco looks up from his place in corner of room::
D: What are you
talking about? I'm right here!
Me: Yes, but in
the Mirror, you're wearing leather (kudos to Cassie!)... ::sighs dreamily::
D: ::sighs disgustedly and crawls back into corner::
The Deepest, Most Desperate Desire of Our Hearts: Ch. 01
"Greetings, class," Professor Lupin says, grinning at the group of seventh-years before him. We smile back, a grin to match his.
It is the first day of classes, our last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And all of us in Gryffindor House are rejoicing- Remus Lupin has returned. He is once again teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. A new Wolfsbane Potion has been produced, more powerful than the former. Only needing drinking once a year, keeping the werewolf mind under control, it is incredibly useful. All parents agreed to Lupin coming back, for we need as many allies against Lord Voldemort as we can have. Even werewolves.
"I am thrilled to be back, everyone. But unfortunately, we must skip over any…celebrations," Lupin smiles here, "and start our lessons immediately." He glances over at a towering object at the back of the room. Everyone swivels around in their seats to look, but to no avail, as it is masked by a dust-covered purple cloth. We look back at our favorite teacher.
"This year I will teach you all to guard yourselves against any kind of threat coming your way, and I must tell you, it will be difficult. For this lesson, I will teach you to resist temptation, and that is one of the hardest things for any human to do." The gears in my mind are spinning wildly, and I think I know what Lupin is about to reveal to us. I start to have a sinking feeling in my stomach.
He walks to the back of the room. I
can sense the difference in him, even more exhaustion than there had been last
time we met. He has been battling the Dark Lord, the Enemy, for the past two
years. And now, he would teach us how to follow his path for protection. Lupin
reaches the grimy cloth, lifts up a hand, and pulls it off with one quick yank.
And, for the fourth time in my life, my emerald eyes drift up, taking in the
clawed feet, the golden frame, and the inscription on top: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.
"The Mirror of Erised," Lupin says, breaking the silence. My suspicions are confirmed. I sneak a quick look at my best friend, Ron Weasley. His face has gone slightly pale, as he remembers that night. I suddenly spot a hand shoot up into the air.
"Yes, Hermione?" Professor Lupin asks.
"The Mirror of Erised is the only one of its kind. It shows the true desire of anyone's heart," Hermione answers, a response to an unspoken question. Lupin smiles and nods in acknowledgement.
"Very good! Yes, class, this is the one and only Mirror of Erised. The Mirror of Desire. Looking into it, you can see your true need, your want, your desire. At first look, you may be overjoyed. Seeing exactly what you want…seems perfect, doesn't it?" Lupin explains to us. The others nod, wondering why and how anyone could use this as a weapon. But I know.
"Let's say, you start coming to see the Mirror all the time. What could be better than seeing what you truly want? But then you could start spending all of your time there, gazing at what may not ever be. You could waste away, lost in your fantasy world, no interest in your real life. That is where the danger is." Comprehension dawns on each and every Gryffindor's face, though Ron and I already know. We know, we remember. We remember our visions.
"One person that I know of here has already looked into this mirror," Lupin continues, his eyes flickering over to me, and then away. "But that person shall remain nameless, and still participate in this exercise." I feel a sudden wash of gratefulness to the man. I don't want to draw attention to myself anymore. After facing Voldemort alone five times now, barely getting out alive, I just want to blend in with the others.
"I want you all to stay in your seats. I will call you up one at a time. I'll give you five minutes each to look in, and then you will go and sit down. And then you will not come back to the Mirror, today or any other day. We will see who is successful." Pavarti and Lavender exchange nervous looks. Dean seems ready to pop out of his seat. Neville looks ill. I can see that all are worried at what their hearts will tell them. Professor Lupin walks over to his desk, picks up a list, and walks back to the Mirror.
"Lavender Brown!" he calls. Lavender gets up out of her seat, and walks to the Mirror of Erised. She stands right in front of it, fear dancing in her eyes. Suddenly, those eyes widen, and she lets out a small gasp. Collapsing onto her knees, she gazes raptly into the mirror. The whole class stares at her, and I wonder what she sees. Five minutes pass. Lupin comes up behind her, his eyes carefully averted from the glass, and taps her lightly on the shoulder. She doesn't move. He gently takes her arm, and guides her back to her seat. Lavender looks around the room, and seems to come out of her trance. She lunges for the Mirror again, but Lupin sets her back at the desk. She puts her hands over her face and starts crying softly.
"Seamus Finnigan!" Lupin says, while Pavarti gives Lavender a hug. Seamus looks at Lavender, and back at Lupin. He hesitates, but his curiosity gets the better of him, and he walks to the mirror. He looks in, and freezes. Five minutes later, he is also led back to his seat. He just stares straight ahead of him, looking blank.
"Hermione
Granger!" Hermione, Ron, and I all glance at each other. She must be
scared, but excited to look into the rare Mirror. She brushes back her hair
matter-of-factly, and walks over to it. Like Lavender, her eyes widen immensely
at whatever she sees. She walks closer to the Mirror, breathing hard. She puts
her face right up to it, as if trying to fall in. She whispers unintelligible
words, and then falls into silence. Minutes pass, and Lupin walks her back to
her seat. She looks at me sadly. I lean over to her.
"Why can't it be real?" she murmurs to me, her brown eyes desperate.
"What did you see, Hermi?" I ask curiously. She just shakes her head, and looks away.
More people get called up to the Mirror of Erised. All come out in shock. Finally….
"Harry Potter!" Lupin calls. I close my eyes for a brief moment, remembering. I don't know if I can see them again, and not come back for more. But I automatically stand up, and walk to the Mirror of Erised. I stand in front of the glass, the glass that reflects your soul.
There they are. Better than the first time, better than the photographs. Right in front of me. I cry out as I see my mother and father, waving furiously, with smiles lighting up their faces. I want to see them everywhere at once. My eyes take them in hungrily. I try to make up for 16 years, lost with those fateful two words. I try to fill up the empty space in my heart that will never disappear. I try to fulfill that place in my soul that begs for unconditional love that you can only get from a parent. I try to show them that their child is successful in life. I try to show them that I love them more than life itself. I try not to cry. I try, but I fail.
The burning tears flood down my face, leaving trails, leaving behind a sign of my pain. I don't care who sees, or what they think. I grip the edges of the mirror, trying to force my family out of fantasy and into reality. There is screaming, loud and horrible screaming inside of my head. I can't think, I can't breathe, I can't move. I just attempt to drive the deep pain out of my heart, but it only goes further in. I know that I will never be rid of that pain as long as I live, and I cry for that. I cry for my parents, dead so young in life. And I cry for myself, for my terrible loss, for that endless grief. But I can't close my eyes, I could never block out the sight of my parents. But for one moment, a moment of choice, a moment of trust between old friends, a moment of a secret, a moment that will last forever, a moment that changed my life, they would still be alive. I would still have them with me. And there would be no more sadness.
I feel a light touch on my shoulder, and realize I'm kneeled on the floor, holding my head. I look up into the hazel eyes of Remus Lupin, which are filled with worry.
"Harry?!" he asked urgently. "Harry, you were screaming. What happened?"
"My parents," I reply numbly, and walk back to my desk.
A/N: I promised myself I
wouldn't make a fool of myself and beg for reviews. *ah well* If you want me to
post the rest of this, REVIEW! Your review counts! Thank you, come again.