Oh, man… I wrote this while listening to Nirvana. It's terribly bleak and angsty. I hope you like?

Sirius turned around in bed to face Remus's still, sleeping figure. His light, dead-looking waves of blondish-brown hair – already peppered noticeably with grey – were partially obscuring his face. A few strands fluttered each time he exhaled. An all-too-familiar crease had formed between his eyes as he slept, as though he was having a troubling dream. Sirius frowned, too, examining the puffy under-eyes and faint wrinkles already becoming permanent around Remus's mouth. He looked nearly thirty-five, but Sirius knew him to be hardly twenty-one. He's just as young as the rest of us. I guess he's lived through more than his life's worth of pain, though. Sirius turned back around to gaze at a picture on this nightstand that had been taken on James and Lily's wedding day. It had been a little more than a year and a half ago… One couldn't tell from the picture, but Lily was about one month pregnant at the time. They'd been engaged since the end of school, so it wasn't entirely scandalous, but Lily's sister Petunia had seemed slightly miffed about the whole affair. Sirius sighed as he looked at James's smiling picture. There had been rumors about a prophesy involving their son and the Dark Lord, and they were going to have to go into hiding. They wanted him to be their Secret Keeper, of course, but Sirius was apprehensive for reasons unknown to him and wanted to put it off as long as possible. And to think, just four years ago they'd spent all their time risking their lives for fun.

"Padfoot?" Remus had sat up – his heavily scarred, seemingly frail chest and arms were exposed as the sheet slipped away. "Are you awake?" Sirius turned to look at Remus, carefully studying his frame. Remus's shoulders were broad, but there was little flesh there to make them seem at all manly; his collarbones stuck out in sharp relief and his ribs were vaguely discernible. It was as though his bones had intended that he become an imposing, manly figure, but physical stress and malnourishment made him look more like a scarred Audrey Hepburn – a muggle actress that Sirius had once seen a very old ad for.

"Yeah… have any dreams?" Sirius's eyes traveled back to Remus's and he gently pushed ratty curls from his werewolf's face. Remus just bit his lip and shrugged, looking away with an expression that suggested he was trying to push something unpleasant out of his mind. Sirius didn't bother to press him further. Lately it seemed as though a strange distance had come between them, and he was afraid that trying to get closer might only drive Remus further away. Sirius gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead and got up, stretching and tousling his short hair. He'd finally gotten around to keeping it cut before James's wedding, but it still managed to get into his eyes a lot of the time. "I'll fix some breakfast, ok?"

Remus nodded silently, still looking troubled about the dream. The, he unexpectedly turned to Sirius and spoke. "You know I love you, right?" He had a slight look of apprehension.

"Of course. How could I ever think differently, Moony?" Sirius frowned with concern, but Remus just looked away again. Feeling he had lost whatever opportune moment that had come along, Sirius changed the subject. "Does toast sound good?"

Remus smiled weakly. "Yes, that would be fine."

"Marmalade!" Sirius's eyes lit up.

Remus had quietly set a jar on the table in front of Sirius and smiled with affection as Sirius slathered mounds of marmalade onto his toast and wolfed it down quickly, getting the sticky orange stuff all over his hands and face. In his puppyish way he began to try and lick all the marmalade off of his hands. He was surprised when Remus kindly took the sticky hand that Sirius was working on away from his mouth and said, "Here, let me help." He leaned over and tentatively licked around Sirius's mouth, slowly melting away whatever tension that had built up that morning. Their tongues eventually found one another and a long, messy kiss ensued – the kind that travels to cheek and chin and jaw and ends with a sufficient amount of saliva spread all over. When they pulled apart, Sirius looked at Remus suspiciously. Did he plan that?

The answer to that question came sooner than he expected. Remus looked away and said quietly, "I'm going to leave for a week today, maybe longer."

"What? Why? I thought the full moon wasn't for two days."

"It's not. I'm leaving early." He sighed heavily, continuing, "The woods I used to go to were developed recently and I need to find a new, safer place."

"Why are you going to take a whole week?" A slightly hostile tone crept into Sirius's voice that he immediately regretted. Remus's secretiveness had gotten Sirius worried and frustrated lately, but his lack of trust in Remus only made Sirius feel guilty.

Remus looked unwilling to answer him, but eventually spoke in an uncharacteristically uneven tone. "I don't want to come home all torn up and be a burden to you, Padfoot. I'd feel much better if I took care of myself alone until I was ready to work for the Order again."

"But I can take care of you! You're not a burden at all, Remus – you're my lover." He thought for a moment that Remus brushed a tear away as he pushed his hair out of his face, but perhaps he was seeing things.

"I'd still rather stay by myself for a while." He winced slightly as he got up, seeming to have jostled a large bite on his hip that still wasn't fully healed.

Sirius frowned as he watched Remus leave the room, presumably to pack. It all seemed so fishy… but perhaps there were aspects of lycanthropy that he would never understand.

Thanks for reading all the way through! I hope you enjoyed! (insert witty review-whore plea here)