Hello people! After many complains about the fact I wanted to write a one-shot yet didn't have an idea for it, Chibi sent me this idea of undercover rigsby/Lisbon to work on (I still took a few months to finish it :p). So naturally this is yours :D
Hope you'll like it :)
Kissing Practice
"You and Agent Rigsby will pose as a married couple for a week."
It was still early that Tuesday. The team had just arrived at the CBI headquarters, and yet the first thing Hightower did when Rigsby got out of the elevator was to call Lisbon to her office. At the moment, the woman feared Jane had pulled another stunt without telling her, and that her suspension was on its way. When Rigsby's presence was as well required, she thought he and Van Pelt had hooked up behind her back and she, once again, hadn't caught the signs of them dating for real. So it came as a complete surprise when their boss started speaking about infiltration in a drug ring, and a team in San Francisco needed two agents to pretend to be a couple interested in buying.
"E… excuse-me ma'am?"
Lisbon just had to ask for confirmation. So lost in her anguish, waiting for reprimands, she missed half of Hightower's explanations on the why and when details. The black woman raised a brow, asking silently if she really had to repeat herself. When came the equally silent confirmation, she sighed:
"No, Agent Lisbon, this isn't a joke. I am sending you and agent Rigsby undercover as a married couple. Van Pelt is still inexperienced and I'm afraid Mr Jane won't take it seriously. Instructors should come during the day to give you more details and a few advices for the mission. Take this as cooperation between two teams with them taking the lead."
"Can my team help in any way?"
"No use. Agent Cho will replace you as the head of the unit temporarily. The mission doesn't start before a few days, so I advise you strongly to get familiar with each other before everything starts. That would be all. Oh one last thing" she added before they started getting up. "If we have no cases, you are allowed to leave at four this afternoon. You did a good job on the last one. You deserve a little rest."
Lisbon nodded thankfully, knowing Jane had been surprisingly obedient for once and the paperwork adequate to his recent behaviour. If no case showed up in the afternoon, she was certain the office would be empty in no time.
-KP-
It wasn't that they were bad actors. Lisbon had already been sent undercover to play various figures, pretended to be many people. Rigsby had also excelled in a few roles too since the beginning of his career in the CBI. Both had already gone through the 'have-to-be' lovers with a partner… but for some reason, their pairing was so awkward it hurt the eye.
And that fact made Jane laugh to no-end. There were absolutely no sparkles between them and a desperate lack of chemistry. At the end of the day, it was obvious they would never be a couple, even for pretend. Lisbon was visibly forcing herself to smile and not chuckle amusingly when Rigsby tentatively reached for her, and the tall man seemed so afraid his boss would bite his hand his shoulders squared each time she looked at him. The situation was becoming so pathetic that Jane couldn't help but laugh and… laugh again. Lisbon ended up even angrier at him and locked herself in the office to avoid his mockeries. Rigsby seemed torn between relief, gratefulness and embarrassment. He was not willing on continuing the masquerade, for his relation with the brunette wasn't the same she had with Cho or him, but this was still a mission.
Jane also saw Van Pelt trying to ignore the flirting and pretend it didn't make her feel a little bit jealous, ever if it was for fake. He suddenly had an idea and waited for Lisbon to get her dear coffee before heading towards Van Pelt and ask:
"Hey Grace, why don't we go out tonight? Any place you'd like to try, like a restaurant or a bar? Just the two of us?"
He immediately felt the stunned glare of Rigsby on his back and Lisbon trying to conceal her surprise. Cho remained imperturbable behind his book but the blond knew he was intrigued.
"A bar?" Van Pelt repeated in surprise. Jane nodded and glanced again at the two others: Rigsby was forcing himself not to jump or show out teeth, and Lisbon had disappeared back in her office without her beloved coffee. He bit his lower lip discreetly, wondering if he upset her more than he intended before returning his attention towards the rookie.
"C'mon Grace, your love interest is forced to play boyfriend with Lisbon, a great cop you admire, and you know it's for the job but you are still frustrated."
The redhead sighed, knowing, like all of her colleagues now, that it was a waste of time trying to hide something from the consultant. It was true; seeing Rigsby trying to flirt with his boss was a hilarious sight, but the bittersweet taste in the mouth still remained.
"Is this another way of saying you need company to forget that Lisbon is forced to pay attention to someone else than you?" she shot back in annoyance; and when he didn't respond, she added: "Why don't you give her a hand instead of creating troubles all the time?"
There was a heavy pause. But suddenly, an idea emerged from his complicated mind. Something absolutely unexpected for himself and that surprised him completely, but the more he thought of it, the more he liked it.
"You know what? That is a great idea" he said, beaming. Then, he leant closer and whispered in her ear: "Now, listen to my plan…"
-KP-
The door of Lisbon's office was closed, but he knew she was inside and, hopefully, upset enough to be mad at him. He opened, and as usual, she didn't bother raising her head to greet him. Instead, she just barked:
"Don't you have more useful things to do? Get back to your couch if you're just here to bother me."
The angry tone made him wince a little. Okay, so he did upset her more than he thought.
"I want to apologize for all the mess I've created today" he said immediately before she could add anything. "So instead of making fun of the future disaster of your mission, I am going to help you with it."
Lisbon glanced at him, intrigued now.
"How so?"
If possible, Jane's grin grew wider.
"If you manage to kiss me and make it convincing, then you'll be able to kiss Rigsby."
"Yeah, like that's going to happen" she snorted immediately, eyes narrowing at him. He knew she was starting to believe this was just another way of annoying her.
"See my point?" he added with a mega-watt smile. "You don't like me! And if you kiss me, you'll be able to kiss anyone!"
Lisbon sighed and picked up the remaining papers on her desk.
"I thought you were going out with Van Pelt" she said, a very tiny hint of jealousy underneath her cool tone. He waved her sentence away with a brush of the hand.
"Meh, she has plans. An old pipe in her kitchen broke and she asked Rigsby for help. Unfortunately, you and I are alone tonight."
"So you're bugging me instead."
"Uh… Yeah."
Lisbon rolled her eyes, making him smirk again.
"C'mon Lisbon" he insisted a little more. "It's not going to kill you! You recognised yourself you needed practicing with Rigsby."
"I deny such thing" she replied dryly, glare back full force. "And while we're at it, I did mention I needed practice with Rigsby, but not in that domain."
"Are you scared to enjoy this so much you won't even try?"
"I am not…"
"Of course you are! You are not giving this a chance because you are afraid you will enjoy kissing me."
"Am not!" she replied fiercely. She couldn't help it; Jane brought the childish side out of her every time he decided to push her buttons.
"Are too" he teased back, the perfect childish grin plastered over his face.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not and that's fina-"
"Are too, and to prove it, I'll come to your apartment tonight at seven to have a fake making-out session in order to ameliorate your performance with Rigsby."
"You are not-"
"Of course I am. I will be there fair and square at seven in front of your door. You don't need to prepare cookies or tea, I have my own with me, thank you."
And before she could refuse, add something or defend her cause, he walked out of the office whistling cheerfully.
As expected, since no other case showed up, the SCU part of the building was deserted at four pm precise. Cho, Van Pelt and Rigsby's desk were perfectly clean and vacant. Jane pestered Lisbon to go home and 'get ready for their wonderful night' –a comment that made several heads lift in the corridors and peek with interest at the 'it's-just-a-matter-of-time' couple. When the clock stroke five thirty, the consultant decided to call it a day as well and prepared for his meeting with the senior agent. Not that he was particularly dirty, but a shower and a shaving were certainly in order before visiting a lady. Especially if it was his cute spitfire lady.
"Patrick!" Hightower called from the doorframe of her office when he walked across the corridor. "Where has everyone disappeared?"
Jane replied simply:
"Well I remind you have dismissed everyone because of the last case. And I forced Lisbon to go home too. She doesn't take care of herself enough."
Hightower narrowed her eyes at him while he put up his most innocent face; the one usually screaming 'I'm going to do something naughty but I won't tell you what'.
"All right…" her voice trailed off suspiciously. "In the case you see Lisbon around; can you give her a message for me?"
-KP-
Lisbon had to admit one thing; welcoming Patrick Jane in her apartment was a real, tiring challenge. For once, she needed to clean her place and hide a few compromising things he might find too interesting to analyze, choose an outfit that would neither scream 'I'm only dressed like this because you are here' or 'I'm way too comfortable at home to dress up for you', take a shower to wash away bad smells and most importantly, not look like she was eager to have him around.
Heck, the man was any sane woman night's fantasy and he was willingly showing up at her door to have a kissing practice with her! As much as she was aware of her attraction to him on some level –no need to fool herself, she wasn't living in such denial- she didn't need him to be… aware of that fact as well. If he was… she would never live it down.
Knock knock.
Lisbon glanced at her clock. Seven pm precise. Damn, she thought, throwing some stuff over her bed before closing the door of her bedroom, was the man never late? Now she needed to make sure he would not wander around her bedroom and make a sneaky comment about messy women and good lovers. The knocking became louder and more insistent.
"Give me a second!" she yelled from the staircase, making sure nothing was out of place before hurrying to the door. "Now don't you know what 'patience' mea…"
Her voice failed her as she caught the image of a Jane she never thought she would see.
He was not in a three piece suit.
"I should have said no need to dress up for me."
Lisbon ignored his words to take a closer look to his attire. A plain pair of jeans. A white t-shirt. A brown coat. Damn.
"Lisbon? Your eyes are going to fall from your orbs if you keep ogling me like that."
This woke her up and she stepped aside to let him in.
"I'm not ogling" she protested "I am just surprised to see you own something else than three-piece suits."
His grin widened.
"But I do own other clothes. I own pyjamas, I own jerseys, I own…"
"Shut up" she growled, shaking her head in disbelief. "I am already regretting this."
Lisbon still couldn't help staring discreetly when he took off his jacket and put it on the nearest chair.
"By the way, I crossed Hightower when I was leaving" Jane said. "She isn't very satisfied with the show you and Rigsby paraded in the bullpen."
Her face fell in a disgraceful grimace.
"Great…" she muttered. "So, how do we start this?"
Amused chuckles made her cheeks flush even brighter and he nodded towards the couch, silently hinting that sitting down would probably be the best position to start with. As they silently headed to the seat, Lisbon glanced again at him. She couldn't help it. Jane was an attractive man and he knew it. He would always use his charms on her –she would be dumb trying to deny it didn't work most of the time. If she was reluctant to accept the 'practice' at first place, it was mostly because she was afraid to let him see how easily he could manipulate her if he really wanted.
"Imagine I am Rigsby."
For some reason, that was a huge turn off; but she would never dare voice it. The tall man was good-looking, but absolutely not her type. And while Jane didn't seem to be her type at first… The amused twinkle in his eyes made her think he knew what thoughts just crossed her head and she had to look away to avoid blushing.
"Okay" she muttered, not trusting herself to talk loudly.
Figuring someone had to initiate this; she leant forward and brushed his lips. He applied a light pressure back and waited. A second shock made Lisbon froze.
They were… soft.
That new information left her incredibly clumsy against his mouth; something he disapproved by pulling back immediately and frowning at her.
"Aw, c'mon Lisbon; I'm sure you can do better than that."
The small agent narrowed her eyes at him, on the verge of hitting him hard. Did he know how difficult he was making it to stay professional when he moved against her lips like that? Jane sighed and blinked innocently:
"Maybe you're not putting enough efforts in this. You are supposed to kiss a human being, not a dummy."
He leant over her and touched her mouth with the faintest brush. Lisbon almost closed her eyes and sighed to relieve in the feeling. Why did the damn man have to make things so hard?
"Pretend you're in love with me, and I'll pretend I'm in love with you."
His last words did the trick. When he linked his lips with hers again, her hand travelled to his chest and rested there. The kiss deepened when he bit her lower lip for access; which she granted eagerly. His fingers slipped on her waist and brought her closer. Lost in the moment, she didn't think when she moved to straddle his thighs. She only felt his hand slipping underneath her shirt, caressing her warming skin. She didn't stop her own fingers from teasing the edge of his Tshit an slipping her hands underneath the fabric to feel his warm chest. His fingers did wonders over her ribs and the teasing touches made her literally melt against him.
He left her mouth to attack her jaw and neck, peppering butterfly kisses over her skin. When he hit a weak spot she couldn't bite back the low satisfied moan and felt his reaction against her thigh. They parted slightly for air. Both were panting heavily, forehead pressed against each other. His arms were hanging loosely around her waist, palms still resting on her back. One hand was lazing on his chest and the other lost buried in his curly blond hair.
"Wow" he whispered. "You're good at pretending."
All fell as a cold reality. This wasn't true. This… was just a joke in which they pretended. Exactly what he said. A practice. Nothing real. None of his touch was real. Suddenly she needed to leave. Lisbon got off his thighs and headed towards the kitchen, feeling humiliated. This attitude screamed 'back-up' but she wouldn't stay with him a second more in the same room.
"You still got coffee in your mug" she heard Jane call from the living room, still sitting in the couch.
"It's cold" she replied sharply, ignoring his amused tone and hoping dearly he would stay there. But of course he had to follow in the kitchen to add some oil on the burning fire.
"Are you embarrassed because you liked making out with me?" he asked, slightly amused. She shot him a death glare.
"I did not appreciate… making out. This practice was a bad idea" she replied dryly, trying to control the shaking of her hands when she set the water to warm up her coffee. "I think you should go."
"What if I don't want to?" he replied teasingly. "I find our practice session interesting."
Lisbon froze in her tracts and glared at him.
"If you want to make out with someone call a whore. You had your fun, now get out!"
Jane stared at her with eyes wide open, caught off-guard by her reaction. She was sincerely angry with him and he felt he should have been more cautious with his approach.
"I never did that for 'fun' Teresa." She stared at him in disbelief when he called her by her first name. "I really wanted to help you. The fact it's kissing is a bonus" he added, winking teasingly. The woman shook her head in disbelief. Jane figured it was a good thing and took a few steps closer. "I'm sorry if you felt offended. Truce?"
He flashed his mega-watt smile –the one that had gotten him off so many troubles- and offered his hand. The corner of her lips tilted upward –she could not stay mad at him very long anyway, and she squeezed it back. A bit forcefully.
"Now" he said, fighting to keep his face straight enough after his hand being squashed in her strong grip. "Let me do your coffee. I will make some tea for myself."
-KP-
When she crossed the office of her boss that morning, Lisbon knew that what she was about to do could only end with a report, but she had to do it. After tossing all night in bed, she realised that kissing Jane was a mistake. He had told her she could kiss anyone else afterwards. The truth was she couldn't kiss anyone after tasting him. The gentleness of his hold, the softness of his lips against hers, his warm breath… No. Even if Rigsby was the best actor ever (which he wasn't), she could not pretend dating him, much less being married to him. Because he wasn't the one she really wanted.
So she waited until Hightower let her sit before her and gave her attention.
"Ma'am, I'm sorry but I can't do this."
The black woman frowned quizzically.
"What are you talking about Agent Lisbon?"
"The uncover mission. I'm sorry but I don't think I will be able to handle it."
To her surprise, Hightower blinked in surprise.
"Oh, I thought Patrick told you."
It was Lisbon's turn to be puzzled.
"What would he tell me?"
"The mission was cancelled. I asked him to pass the message yesterday. I assume he didn't?"
Her cheeks reddened at incredible fast pace while she shook her head, unable to utter a word without making more a fool of herself. Hightower dismissed her without asking more questions –which she was grateful for. It was enough embarrassment for one day.
She locked herself in her office, only calling on Rigsby to inform him of the annulment of the mission. Sooner than she wanted, there was a knock on her door and the subject of her embarrassment showed up in her office, closing the door behind him.
"Jane" she said sharply as a greeting.
"Lisbon" he replied with a huge grin.
She kept on glaring at him.
"I met Hightower."
His smile didn't falter.
"She told me the mission was cancelled and you knew it yesterday. Why did you…"
"Well I didn't know if the mission was cancelled for good; I just wanted to help you out in case it did turn out it was maintained."
"And you thought it would be funny? My, my, Jane. You are such a naughty boy."
His eyes widened in surprise when he perceived how low her voice had dropped, how threatening and… husky it was. Not only that, but Lisbon's entire body language and eyes had changed into something more… provocative? She moved closer, grinning seductively. And he, for the fist time of his life since he met Teresa Lisbon, stepped back. Yes, he stepped back, because he didn't know this side of Lisbon and wasn't sure how to handle it.
"I never thought I would see this day arrive" she went on, taking another step forward. He backed up until his back hit the wall. Now stuck between a weirdly-acting Lisbon and the building structure, he breathed in sharply and waited, while her face came closer and closer and she was an inch away from his and…
Lisbon stopped right there. He could feel her breath all over his face; feel her heat through his clothes. They were inches apart. If one of them moved, they would inevitably touch the other. If he leant just slightly, he would be kissing her… and he liked it. He liked the fact Lisbon was showing up her daring side and exposing it to him so openly. Just as if she… wanted to seduce him. He closed his lids halfway when he thought she was going to close the distance between them and…
"I turned the grand Patrick Jane speechless" she whispered against his lips before stepping back and heading towards her desk to take care of some stray papers. Jane stood there and blinked. Wait. Did she just…
"Did you just trick me?" he managed to utter, caught off-guard.
When Lisbon ignored him, he shook his head.
"You are evil" he couldn't help but mutter. Lisbon grinned and stepped back to her desk to order some papers.
"Says the guy who used the excuse of training for kissing me" she retorted sharply, but still smiling. "I don't know if I have to feel flattered or insulted you went through all this trouble to get a kiss out of me."
Her words made him smile again.
"So I guess, should I bring all the Resident Evil movies for tonight?"
Lisbon stared at him in disbelief. What was his point now?
"Resident Evil? What do you want to do with that?"
Jane's grin widened even more.
"Watch it of course!"
"Good for you" she replied, pretending not to see the point. His face fell a little when he understood he would have to push it a little bit more…
"Do you want to watch them with me?"
Lisbon turned her face towards him and frowned.
"Why would I want to watch zombies being decapitated when I could do much more useful things?"
Jane sighed and muttered annoyingly:
"You really want me to say it, don't you?"
It was more an affirmation than a question, but her lips still tilted upwards.
"I have no idea what you are talking about Jane."
The blond man couldn't help but smile back; she was playing hard to get, but she wasn't Lisbon for nothing.
"You win" he eventually said. "Teresa Lisbon, will you go out with me tonight on a movie date?"
Now, he thought, if she answered 'no', he was screwed. To his relief though, she merely chuckled and stepped closer again.
"And I thought you were up to a romantic evening for a first date…"
"Oh but I am! You put the DVD on and you don't give a damn about it."
The corner of Lisbon's lip tilted upward as she caught his silent message. Alice and her friends slicing zombies were the least of his concerns. What he really wanted was to make out with her with a soundtrack of dead corps falling all over the screen.
"You are the creepiest guy I've ever met" she said, laughing heartedly.
"That's why clever people invented the 'mute' button" he teased back, taking a step closer. He leant over her face and stole a gentle, promising kiss. She knew practice was over. When he would ring to her front door tonight, then she would meet the real thing. And somehow, she was looking very forward to it.
Thank you for reading :D