DISCLAIMER: Christopher Nolan owns Inception. This is really just an edited, longer version of something I wrote a while back. Please review and let me know what you thought!

Strip Poker

"No."

"Come on, Arthur, just-"

"No."

"Why are you such a-"

"No."

"A-"

"No. And no again. Oh wait, no."

Eames pouted at the Point Man. "I am bored as hell, Arthur."

"How about doing some work, then?" Arthur retorted, trying desperately to keep his focus on the papers on his desk. "Besides, it's a stupid idea."

"No it's not! Ariadne said that she'd play."

Arthur paused. He let the fantasy run through his mind quickly, before shaking it off. "Eames, I am not playing strip poker!"

Cobb stood above the PASIV, smirking at the scene behind him. "Eames, if Arthur is too chicken to play…"

Arthur shot a look at him over his shoulder, his eyes slightly wider than before. "Cobb, you're not playing, are you?"

Cobb shrugged. "Eames says the person with the most clothes on at the end gets $500. I'm not passing up that deal."

"Is this for real?" Arthur asked, slightly appalled by the notion of the team playing strip poker together. On the other hand, the look on Eames' face would be truly priceless if he won. Sighing, Arthur let his pen fall to the desk top, fully understanding that there was no way he would be able to deny the idea.

Seeing the Point Man's sudden acceptance, Eames smirked. "As real as it gets."

"You're really playing this?" Arthur asked in a quiet voice, standing over the petite Architect, who was kneeling on the ground. She was searching through one of the many drawers in the warehouse, as she swore that she'd seen Eames with a pack of playing cards at one time or another.

She looked up and gave him a wide smile. "Yes! Sounds like fun," she exclaimed. "Why, aren't you?"

Arthur sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't really have a choice, do I?"

She tutted and rolled her eyes. "Don't be so negative. Just give it a go!"

"I'm not negative," he defended with a frown. He hated being called negative. Along with 'stick in the mud', 'residential bore', and 'fusspot', it was a name that Eames had blessed upon him. Somehow the others thought it was okay to call him these names as well. Particularly Ariadne, which Arthur didn't like at all.

She didn't reply, as she huffed and stood up again. "Eames, we have a problem!" she called towards the Forger, who was once again leaning on Arthur's desk (not working, because that would truly be awful), and waiting for the game to begin.

"What?" he replied, having the time of his life scribbling random notes onto Arthur's paper. Arthur didn't see this.

"I don't think we have any playing cards," Ariadne replied with a frown, pushing the drawer shut.

Eames returned the frown, but Arthur just smirked, completely satisfied. "Looks like your game won't take place after all," he teased.

Eames shot him a look, before rolling his eyes to the heavens and walking over. "Ridiculous," he muttered as he pushed past the Point Man. He bent down and began rifling through the drawers, just as Ariadne had done moments before.

"Too bad," Arthur sighed, a hint of mockery in his tone. "I bet you were really looking forward to playing."

"Shut up, you old hag," Eames scowled. Reaching in, his eyes suddenly lit up. He turned to the younger man and grinned, a smile big enough to crack the sides of his face. "Don't worry, love. It doesn't have to be strip poker."

Arthur stopped smirking, the satisfaction he had felt moments ago had quickly slipped away. Eames proudly held up a child's version of snakes and ladders.

"Wha-" Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Why the hell do we have that in the warehouse?"

"I remember one of Cobb's children bringing it in one day. The blonde one."

"They're both blo-"

"Left it behind," Eames continued, carefully brushing off a little dust from the cardboard. "I put it away so they could take it home when they next came back." Looking up, he caught the Point Man's eyes in another smirk. "Lucky for us, eh?"

"Eames, we look stupid," Arthur muttered, letting his head fall into his hands in dispair. All four teammates sat around a desk, the game board placed proudly in the center. Arthur had never felt so childish in his life. Even when he was himself a child, he never played little games like this.

"You must be used to it by now, Arthur," Eames grinned back.

"So…how to we play?" Ariadne asked. She had a natural childish persona about her, and was more than happy to play. Although she had admitted being a little off-put when Eames had suggested the idea of strip poker to her, the previous refusal had settled when she realised that Arthur would in fact be playing. And she wasn't about to pass off the opportunity to see him in the nude.

"Simple, you go down a snake, you lose an item of clothing."

"What happens when you go up a ladder?"

Eames paused, looking deeply thoughtful. "You…get to tell someone to take clothing off."

Arthur scoffed. "That's hardly fair."

"Deal with it."

The Forger reached inside the box, digging around. A few seconds later, he frowned, picked up the box and looked inside.

"Nothing to play with," he sighed. "Just a die and the game board."

"Oh well, what a shame," Arthur blurted, standing up. "Looks like the game won't-"

"We'll use our totems," Eames snapped. Grabbing Arthur's sleeve, he forcefully pulled him back down into his seat. "Sit down, young man. The game's only just started. Totems out, lads- and ladies, of course."

Reaching into their pockets, each team-member pulled out their totems, their hands clutched tightly around them. Eames freely chucked his poker chip into the board, his face expectant. Arthur, not so willing, gently placed his red loaded die onto the starting position, carefully making sure not to touch Eames' totem.

Ariadne glanced down at her fist, feeling the hard bronze of her bishop dig into her palm. "Um...okay." She placed it down onto the game.

"Here," Cobb sighed, lightly placing his spinning top on the table.

For a moment, they all stared. The four pieces, all combined together on a single space looked odd, yet somehow, it all seemed to fit perfectly.

"Who's first?" Arthur sighed, accepting the fact that he was in far too deep to back out now.

"You, mate," Eames slyly smiled. Arthur glared at him as he rolled the die. He sighed in relief as it landed on a number, not a snake nor ladder. The rules felt odd, but Eames' weird system somehow worked. He handed the die to Ariadne in silence.

"This is fun, isn't it?" Eames asked, breaking into the silence with a large grin. Cobb rolled his eyes and leaned back into his chair.

Ariadne silently cheered herself as she landed on a number. Reaching forward, Cobb took his turn and rolled the die. To the dismay of the rest of the team, it landed on a ladder.

"Interesting," he mused, feeling a certain pride of the fact that he had rolled the first ladder. He looked at the others, who all seemed to shrink back into their seats, and made his decision carefully. He looked at Eames, a glorified smirk playing on his sharp features. "Why don't you go first, Eames? After all, you came up with the game."

"It would be, wouldn't it?" Eames muttered. Arthur smirked, knowing that if anyone else had rolled the ladder, it had been a silent agreement that they would undoubtedly pick Eames.

"Can't handle your own game, Eames?" he grinned.

Eames kicked off one of his shoes from under the table. "Alright, don't get frisky, it's just a shoe. Besides, it's my turn now." Grabbing the die enthusicastically from the table, he threw it again with a quick flick of the wrist. Sadly for him, it did not land on a ladder as he had hoped. He handed it to Arthur, who seemed to be more involved in the game, due to Eames' displeasure.

"Ladder," he grinned.

Eames shifted in his seat, already feeling targeted. "New rule," he frantically spoke, desperate to save himself. "You can't get the same person to strip twice in a row."

Arthur's shoulders sank. "Eames, you can't just make up new-"

"I can do whatever I want! My game, my rules."

Arthur sent him a quick glare. His plan on picking Eames for every single fucking ladder he threw was now to be destroyed. He looked around the group at the remaining contenders. He most certainly would not pick Cobb, as years of work and friendship would make this the most awkward decision he ever made. That only left one. Surprisingly, Arthur did not seem too discusted with the idea.

"Ariadne," he quickly said, dropping his head to avoid her gaze. He did not see the icy glare she sent his way.

"Cobb! Eames is cheating!"

"I am most certainly not. You can't cheat in snakes and ladders, you tw-"

"Arthur, Eames picked you. Be a man about it."

Arthur gave a quiet groan of dispair and started unbuttoning his shirt. He avoided eye contact with anyone else, feeling incredibly, and undeniably stupid.

Eames was now down to his pants. One more snake and he would be in his underwear. Arthur was now (Thanks to Eames) down to his pants, while Cobb still had his shirt and pants on. Ariadne was happily winning, the only thing she had stripped off what her scarf and shoes and socks. She did not think it sad at all that she was enjoying her completely undignified winning.

"Bathroom break!" she said, jumping up suddenly. Her triumphant glory was giving her energy as she left the others alone around the table. Eames flicked his hand, gesturing for Cobb and Arthur to come closer.

When he had their attention, he whispered, "Let's unite here, Ariadne has the most clothing on. We should be working together on this."

"Eames, you know what?" Arthur whispered back.

"What?"

"That's really peverted."

Eames sat up, a challenging look on his face. "Oh really? When was the last time you saw a woman in her underwear, hmm Arthur?" he asked, his voice louder.

Arthur looked over his shoulder and hissed, "Shut up! She'll hear!"

Cobb glanced behind him to check that Ariadne had gone. He turned to Arthur. "Art, he's right."

Arthur's eyes widened at the Extractor. "Please tell me you're kidding, Cobb," he pleaded. "Be the adult here."

"Oh please," Cobb scoffed, waving his hand at him. "Don't tell me you don't think about her like that anyway!"

Arthur sat up straight, horror and confusion echoing on his face. "What?"

Eames, shaking his head, sighed at the younger man. He placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder, giving him a small pat.

"The eyefucking, Arthur." He leaned over, quirked an eyebrow and whispered, "The eyefucking."

Arthur let his head fall to the table, hitting the surface with an impressive thud. "Oh my god, this is a dream and you two do not exist," he muttered into the wood, reaching up and rubbing his temples that were now burning with embarrasment.

Cobb sighed. "Think about it, Arthur-" He leaned in, wearing a questioning look. "- I know for the fact that it's been, what, 6 months?"

"Oh god," Arthur groaned.

"And I haven't seen anything remotely this interesting for a while." He gave the Point Man a slightly pleading look. "Please, for the good of the men on this team."

"For the good of mankind," Eames corrected, his eyes flickering from Cobb to Arthur. "Let's get this girl naked."

Arthur felt his throat grow dry. "...I can't even-"

"Here she comes." Eames gave Arthur a quick slap on the shoulder before leaning back into his chair, turning his attention to the floor.

Ariadne sat back in her seat, comepletely unaware, and looked expectantly at the board. Cobb reached for the die and threw it back down. As luck would have it, he just happened to land on a ladder.

He leaned back into his seat. "..Ari?"

Ariadne turned, and looked at him in a slight state of disbelief. Cobb stared back, unwavering. She gave a light huff, and removed her sweater, but to their dismay, she looked as if she had chosen that day to layer up. She shot a quick glare at Cobb and practically snatched the die out of his hands.

She felt a little happier when she discovered where she'd landed. "Ladder," she looked at Eames and slipped him a small, mischievous smirk. "I pick Eames."

Eames grinned. "Good choice." Cobb and Arthur quietly looked away as he removed his pants, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. Ariadne grew a slight tinge of pink that the site of the almost-naked Forger, but Eames simply continued to stare at the young Architect. "Like what you see?" he asked, gesturing to his crotch.

"OK, let's move on," Arthur all but snapped, diverting his eyes in every direction away from Eames, who grabbed the die out of Ariadne's hand and threw it on the board.

"Ladder." He looked at Ariadne. "Ariadne," he prompted. Ariadne rolled her eyes and stripped off another layer. Arthur quickly found himself staring, causing Eames to chuckle to himself. He offered Cobb the die.

"Thanks." Cobb rolled it and found he was mentally applauding himself when he landed on a ladder. He looked at Ariadne.

Ariadne gasped in anger. "Cobb, you can't be serious! What happened to the rule about not choosing someone twice?" she accused, pointing at Eames.

"Sorry love, the rule has just been terminated," Eames smirked.

Sighing heavily, Ariadne frowned. "Fine!" she cried, angrily yanking off another layer. Arthur realised in slight horror (with pure and utter joy) that she appeared to have only one more layer on before she would eventually run out of coverage. He would have felt sorry for her, but he was enjoying himself far more than he would admit.

Eames rolled the die and gave a quiet moan of sorrow when he didn't land on anything other than a number. He offered the die to Ariadne, who snatched it out of his hand rather agressively. She looked at Arthur, evil playing in her eyes.

"Ladder," she growled. Arthur's eyes widened, remembering that he was in nothing but suit pants. This would make him the never-ending laughing stock of the team.

"Ari, you can't-"

"The lady chose you," Eames smirked.

"I am not taking off my pants," he said stubbornly. "I still have my dignity."

"Not really," Eames said, shrugging. Arthur shot him a cold look.

"It's the rules, Arthur," Ariadne said, in a taunting voice.

Arthur swallowed. He looked down and felt a wave of relief wash over him at the fact that he was wearing a belt. He unbuckled, yanked it off and dropped it on the floor. With a new sense of vengeance washing over him, he threw the die down on the board and grinned evilly.

"A ladder. Ariadne, I chose you."

He watched in satisfaction as Ariadne looked down at her torso, and suddenly became very still. "But, I only-"

"It's the rules, Ari," Arthur said, his voice cruel and mocking. Eames and Cobb looked at Ariadne, who looked very pink.

"I don't want to play anymore," she said lamely, reaching for her bishop. Eames shook his head.

"Sorry, we're all in this together. No-one stops until the end," he said, seeming just as satisfied as Arthur.

Ariadne paused, completely silent for what seemed like a rather long time. Finally, she looked up, her expression completely blank. "Ok, fine." Slowly, she reached down, grasping the fabric of her t-shirt, and pulled off her last layer.

Arthur froze. He honestly didn't think she was going to go through with it. But alas, Ariadne never failed to completely surprise him.

Arthur caught her gaze and kept contact with her large, brown eyes, afraid that if he didn't, his vision might just wonder down south to her particularly lovely black, lacy bra. Far sexier than he ever could have pictured her wearing.

Fortunately for Cobb and Eames, Ariadne was so glaring at Arthur that she didn't notice them gawking at her. Eames found himself taking mental pictures in his head. Definately spank bank material.

"Well, darling!"he exclaimed. "Who knew that you were such a little minx!"

"Cobb, your turn," she snapped, ignoring Eames' crude leer.

Cobb was transfixed. "Wha…I…" he mumbled. He cleared his throat and quickly regained himself. "Umm, sure." Grabbing the die, he threw it across the table, making sure to keep his head down, or encounter a sharp stare from the young woman. "Oh...snake." He frowned deeply as he passed it along to Arthur, before he began unbuttoning his shirt.

Arthur's lips spread into a tight, thin line as he threw the die again. "Oh. Nothing," he said, his voice a little dejected. "Eames, your tu-"

The familiar loud creak of the warehouse door echoed through the room. They froze. For a moment, nobody even breathed.

Arthur looked up, and in pure horror, saw Yusuf shutting the warehouse door.

Yusuf took no notice, immersing himself in the newspaper he was holding.

"Oh hey guys," he greeted. "Wow, talk about traffic-" He looked up.

For a while, nothing happened. No looks were exchanged, and no words were spoken. The rest of the team simply sat completely still around the table, their wide eyes locked onto the Chemist with pale faces and pink cheeks. Yusuf, trying to keep calm, kept his face blank, his eyes flickering from figure to figure in utter bewilderment.

After a second more of silence, Ariadne let out a small squeak and flung her arms around herself, covering her practically naked form.

Cobb stood up, panic struck across his face. "Yusuf, this is not what it looks like-"

Yusuf's eyes widened. "So this is what you do when I'm not around..."

Eames quickly stood up, letting his chair scrape back. "No, that's not-"

Throwing his hands over his eyes, Yusuf cried, "GOD! Eames, put some trousers on!"

Moving forward, Eames shook his head frantically. "No, Yusuf we were-"

Yusuf's hands shot up to his ears, as his eyes squeezed shut. "Bloody hell! I don't want to know! I'm just going to go-" He turned and quickly began striding to the door. "When I get back, you lot better have some more clothes on!"

As the door slammed shut, Cobb turned to Eames, his face red with fury and embarassment. "Right, that's it! Eames- I want my $500!"

Ariadne stood up, letting her arms fall. "Yeah, me too!"

"So do I!" Arthur snapped, pointing at Eames. "We all have the same amount of clothes on. Apart from you, we should all have the money!"

Eames' expression cumbled into one of confusion. "Money? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You said that whoever has the most amount of clothes on at the end gets $500," Cobb growled. "Well since our Chemist has probably lost all sense of sanity, and we're all standing here completely humiliated, I think the game is over."

"Woah, hold on!" Eames cried. "I don't even remember saying that! I don't have the money on me!"

"Well, get it," Ariadne huffed, scooping an armful of clothes. "I'll be back." She hurried away into the next room.

Eames' strained face let out a small blurt of laughter. "Did you see Yusuf's face? That was rather hilarious."

"Eames," Arthur sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just...stop."

"Oh what are you so fussed about? You know Ariadne was catching a glance at you."

"...She was?"

"Oh yeah, definitely checking out the package, mate."