This Is Me
Hi. This is my journey, I'm going to try and write a new update everyday telling you what I did and how I feel. There may be things in here that are upsetting and things I never wanted to tell people but I feel that writing things down might help me through my bad times. You don't have to read it and I really don't care if you review it because it's just me expressing my feelings, my ups and my downs. So here goes…
Sunday 3rd March 2013
Usual Sunday for me, getting up at dinner time after staying up far too late as always. Didn't have any dinner but had some spaghetti at three and a small sausage roll at four. I spent time in-between then and since then on my laptop, tweeting and trying to help my closest friend deal with things. I sit here, right now writing this to take my attention away from the sharp object that I am close to grabbing and marking myself again, like last night. Demi Lovato is playing full blast through my headphones so loud that I can actually hear it without them in but keep them in anyway because she expresses the way I feel and her story inspires me to try not to grab it and scratch my feeble self. Her lyrics in her song read 'would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed' and I feel like doing that right now, watching myself bleed and all my emotions that I struggle to express leave my body for them few minutes. I haven't told any of my friends, well only my online ones because I'm scared they will resent me and my parents will act differently around me. I hate my body, it's ugly and I think I'm fat despite what people say. Wonder how tonight will go…