Dear Regina,

I know a lot has happened since the last time we spoke. I've had a lot of time on my hands, in light of recent events, and I thought I would write to you because I doubt you want to see me in person, and I'm not allowed to leave the apartment anyway. David got me a guard-dog who has orders not to let me out of his sights, and I don't really think I'm a proper match for him.

Even if I were in a fighting spirit, I mean.

Oh, and heads up, I'm talking about Gold. He's here, so I wouldn't suggest coming over, for your own sake.

He's been really reluctant to take any actions against you though; I can't help thinking he actually has a tiny bit of a soul left in him. I mean obviously I feel really bad about what happened, but I honestly didn't think he would care.

But enough about Gold.

I want to talk about you and me.

And not in that syrupy sweet, 'everything can be still be perfect between us' way I did that time you sent the Huntsman for my heart, because we both know it can't.

It just can't.

It breaks my heart, but I think I probably should have admitted that a long time ago.

Because believe it or not, I've always had hope. I've always had hope that I could save you somehow and that you would be that woman who saved me all those years ago again.

David said Gold is here to protect me from you, but that's not true. He's here to stop me from letting you kill me, because, dammit, Regina I would.

I would sit here in my bed and I wouldn't say a word, I would watch as you ripped my heart out and crushed it between your fingers.

Because honestly, how else is this going to end?

I'm not going to sit back and pretend this was the first time I'd killed someone. I fought a war, of course I've killed people before. But I only killed them when there wasn't another way, when I was protecting someone, or some other justifiable reason.

The difference is, with Cora, I wasn't protecting anyone.

Sure, I could justify myself by saying I saved Gold's life in the process, or that I stopped Cora from becoming the Dark One and probably killing us all, but that wasn't why I did it.

When I first resolved to kill Cora, after Johanna's death, I was angry, I was hurt, and I was bitter.

But then I had time. I had time to think it over, and then Gold gave me an opportunity to do it and I took it.

It wasn't the anger that drove me to do it, or the hurt, or the bitterness.

It was all about revenge. In the cold-blood.

Everything that I was, everything that I stood for, all of it was gone. I'm a completely different person now.

I've been thinking about ways I could potentially kill myself quickly enough that Gold wouldn't be able to stop me, but frankly I think I'm just trying to keep myself occupied.

I don't have the guts for suicide, even now.

Please send over another apple, if you get the chance.

Yours,

Snow