A/N: A drabble, just for kicks.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
One.
Annie knows better. She knows better. She's been here before, the quickening of breath, the flush of heat and fluttering in her abdomen that seems so romantic at the time but only ends up getting her high at a birthday party and steals her innocence, with an ache between her legs and growing case of goddamit Annie, why are you so stupid? The entire façade of wanting and lusting and loving has eaten her up, grabbed her with its hands , God it's hands, all soft caresses and unquestioning faith where Annie is edges and structure and regulations. It's everything Annie doesn't stand for, and everything she desperately wishes she was. Because she trusts, trusts much too easy, and gives her heart to anyone whom her eyes linger on. If she doesn't, then she'll lock her heart in a box, a box of desecrated dreams, of failure, of loss of innocence and drug filled dreams and why don't my parents love me anymore?
Annie's demons reside in her heart, flighty and fragile like a bird, free until someone snaps its wings.
Two.
Britta feels she is the the only member of Greendale who can really see. It's almost as if every pathetic, selfish, pig-headed student at Greendale is looking through a thick set of bifocals, and fuck, if she isn't the most pathetic selfish pig out of all of them. Ignorance can be forgiven, but her own laxness is no fault but her own. And it cuts her deep. She has seen true poverty, genuine hopelessness, and a lack of faith in humanity so sincere that she digs her nails into her skin again again again. And if that makes her boring, if it makes her mothering and one of those "crazy anarchist's", then she doesn't care. Love, relationships, they mean nothing. She's been desensitized to its pettiness, Thank god.
Britta ignores her demons; they live in the life she doesn't even realize she's lost.
Three.
The absolute worst part of Shirley's good Christian life was not the day Andre left her for that trashy, skanky, heifer in cheap stilettos. No, it was Tuesday, the next morning, when she had to tell her children that their daddy didn't love them anymore. So when Andre, deceiver Andre, Ex-Husband Andre comes back and sweeps her off feet, the first thing she does when she gets home is throw up. Because she wants to forgive him, her Lord, her faith, everything is telling her that nice Christian women forget past crimes, and if Shirley is anything, she is a nice Christian woman. So she will smile, and giggle and coo, because yes, her love for her husband is still there, at the core. But she will gladly go to Hell if she lets that bastard hurt her children ever again.
Shirley can feel her demons, scarred across her past, in patterns of broken trust and a shattered marriage.
Four.
Abed thinks that in the in the sitcom that is their life, he is the protagonist. He understands that isn't a leap most will make, they'll see Jeff, with his Ryan Seacrest chin and his patented I-Don't –Really-Care-about-anything-that-won't-have-sex attitude that really, Han Solo had first. But if Stephan Spielberg or Joseph Campbell saw his life, they could probably create a pretty stimulating story. He has the uncaring parental figures, the tragic past and even villains. Villains he sees every day, even if they don't think he hears their stifled laughter when he makes a pop-culture reference or their whispers whenever he walks into a room. But that's okay, because no matter how many people assume Abed's just a Red Shirt; he knows he's Captain Picard.
Abed can see his demons every day, in the world, and the accusation in its eyes.
Five.
Troy isn't the youngest member of the group, so he doesn't understand why he always feels like he is. He knows he isn't very smart, he's what Annie calls "naïve" or "sheltered", and most of his wisdom comes from video games. But hey, people like Troy. They like him more than Pierce, more than Shirley, more than Annie or Britta. So Troy doesn't understand, he doesn't understand why he feels like the butt of everyone's jokes, why he gets the condescending looks and the pats on the cheek. He gets enough of it at home, only those looks aren't fueled with good intentions but disappointment and try harder and get into a real school Troy. It's in the shadows, waiting for him to slip up, to prove everyone right.
Troy is liked, even loved, but his demons have destroyed any dreams of being better that he is.
Six.
Peirce is hated, and he knows it. He owns the fact that he is hated. Better to be hated and respected, he has been told, than loved and rejected. And oh, has he been rejected. He has been looked in the eye, and been told that he is vile, that he will never be a proper man, that if he could be traded in for any other son, than that's what would come to pass. Peirce knows, he has experience, that it's always better to use someone than be used by them. With every cutting word he says, every derogatory term, every blow, he feel his eyes get a little bit clearer, his skin get a little bit thicker, and he is wound tighter. If hatred is poison, then Peirce is arsenic, dripping into everyone's lives and giving them a burn.
Peirce is aware of his demons; he feeds them and lets them grow darker and blacker every day.
Seven.
Jeff doesn't care about anyone, he can't care, because in doing that he would have to admit he that he cares about himself. And truthfully, he hates himself. He knows it, he knows what he is, a loser, the guy in High School who pushes the smaller kids around self-righteously, and they deal with it because he will work for them someday. He is a bully, the sneakiest kind, the manipulative kind that no one recognizes because, oh look, Jeff is just being Jeff. He has done bad things, awful things, and deep inside his heart, he knows there is something wrong, something not Daddy-issues or anger after losing his job, but something bad inside him. Sometimes he feels like the forbidden fruit, something that looks shiny and appetizing on the outside, but is toxic within. Jeff is a cancer, and he has to keep himself locked away, keep himself from ruining everyone else too.
Jeff thinks that no one can see his demons because they don't realize that he is one himself.
FIN
"If I got rid of my demons, I'd lose my angels."
― Tennessee Williams