Every night I watched her go down to the docks. She would survey her surroundings with those soulful brown eyes of hers, and when she was sure no one was watching, she would let her shoulders fall. The pain would show on her face as she let her guard down. She would walk over to one of the benches and stare out at the sea for about five minutes, before she would pull out that ragged red leather coat and play with it in her shaking hands. She never said a word, she would just sit there staring out at the water and allow the tears to fall from her eyes. I'd been watching her for a week and she never said anything. So neither did I.

I remember the night I left as clear as it was yesterday.

Mary Margaret was crying as she squeezed me tighter. In all my life, I never imagined how hard it would be to make my mother let go of me. I never wanted to leave her warm, safe embrace. But I had to.

"Mom, I have to go," I mumbled, freeing myself from her hug finally. I couldn't look at her sad green eyes. David approached me next and hugged me, softer than Mary Margaret, but I could see the tears in his eyes as he held me protectively.

"Just come home for us, okay?" He whispered in my ear.

"Yeah, dad, I'll try." I was trying to blink back tears of my own, but when I saw Henry's heartbroken expression, I lost it. I pulled my son close and cried heartfelt sobs against his shoulder.

"Mom, don't cry," he said with his hitching adolescent voice. "The guys'll laugh at you. Just be strong and fight hard for us."

"I will. I promise, Henry."

"I love you."

"I love you too. So much."

"Swan! Let's go!" I looked up at the new voice, coming from behind me. It was my CO, motioning me impatiently onto the battleship.

"Just… One more second," I said meekly. The last member of the group was standing there silently in the shadow of an elm tree, her body completely hidden by darkness. I walked over to her and hesitantly reached out to her. "Regina…"

Regina shrank from my touch and came out of the shadows. Her eyes were emotionless, and her shoulders were stiff and hardened. She turned to me and her eyes flickered briefly with hurt before she secured her mask and straightened her back.

"I may not be waiting for you when you come back. If you come back."

"But Henry—"

"Oh, I won't keep Henry from you. But I meant me. I may not be waiting for you." Regina turned from me, but I could hear the pain in her voice.

"But Regina, I love—"

She whipped around, eyes blazing. "Don't you dare say that you love me, Miss Swan," she spat. "Not when you so willingly hurt me and our son by going off to some godawful country and fighting some idiotic battle that may or may not cause your death. Why would you sacrifice all of this?"

I looked around feeling helpless as everyone's eyes were trained on me. "I have to go."

"Why? Are we not good enough for you?"

"No, Regina, it's not that—"

"Oh really? Then tell me, what is it?"

I opened my mouth to tell her everything that was on my mind. That I wasn't strong enough. That I didn't deserve her love. That I had to prove that I could win my own battles. That I had to challenge myself. That every knight had to fight for her queen. But before I could, the CO cut me off.

"Private Swan! This boat is leaving in thirty damn seconds, whether you're on it or not."

"I-I'm coming." I turned to Regina, but she had turned her face away from me. I tried to face her but she held me away with one hand while the other wiped something off of her face. When she turned back to me, she was crying.

"Go," she said. That single word conveyed all her hurt and all her love for me. It was all I needed. I took her hand in mine before she could walk away. Her hand was shaking like a leaf, although her self-control kept her from revealing it to anyone else.

"Here," I said, shrugging off my red leather jacket. "Take this. Hold onto it for me so I know it'll be taken care of when I'm gone."

She accepted it and I pressed a kiss to her cheek, closing my eyes as I felt a piece of my soul tie itself around Regina's.

"I'll be back, Gina. I love you. Take care of Henry."

Regina nodded her head once sharply and held the leather jacket close. I slipped my hand out of hers and turned towards the boat, trying to swallow the massive lump in my throat.

Tonight was different. When she came down to the docks tonight, her dark hair was dishevelled and her face already had tear tracks on it. The leather coat was already out in one hand, and she was shaking like a leaf. She almost threw herself down onto the bench and let out wailing sobs that echoed over the sound of the pounding ocean a few feet away from her.

It took me a moment before I heard Regina mumbling something. I strained my ears, trying to decipher the words she was saying.

"Please God bring her back to me," I heard her cry. For a moment I was stunned. Was Regina praying?! "I didn't know I needed her this much. But there's a hole where she should be and I just need her back. Please God, make sure she's safe. I need Emma Swan back."

Hearing her say my name made me let out a silent breath I didn't know I was holding. She still loves me.

I felt a twinge of pain from my right kneecap and winced before letting out a small groan. I cursed myself for making my presence known, but Regina was too far gone to hear me.

Well, it's now or never, I thought. Steeling myself, I pushed through the pain and limped out of the bushes I had been laying in. I took a deep breath and murmured the one word I had been dying to say for a week now.

"Regina."