"Veg Me More"
Rated T
Disclaimer: I do not own anything including Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race, or World Wrestling Entertainment. Total Drama, the Ridonculous Race and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis and World Wrestling Entertainment and it's wrestlers are owned by it's chairman, Vince McMahon. Since I'm still on such a writing spree for the Ridonculous Race, I'd figured I do something different here. You wanna know what it is? Take a look for yourself.
Ryback was riding along the highway, heading down to the Air Canada Centre for tonight's taping of Monday Night RAW. It had been nearly 100 days since he reigned as Intercontinental Champion. With the belt sitting on the front seat like his best friend, Ryback felt in good control.
Of course, it wasn't surprising since his stomach rumbled like a California earthquake. It was clear that he was hungry. Luckily for him, Ryback managed to encounter a Subway right next to him.
"Mmmmm, Subway sandwiches are awesome." Ryback smirked. "Perfect for the big guy!"
After finding a good parking space, Ryback stepped out of the car and went inside the establishment.
He was already smelling the baked bread being toasted. The sound of soda splashing down a cup. The aroma of large chocolate chip cookies being pulled out of a glass cookie box. His taste buds was already glistening. He approached a employee with glasses, black hair and a skinny body fit for a nerd. He looked a little bit like Jared Leto but only geekier. The employee went by the name Douglas.
"Hey, you must be Ryback!" Douglas exclaimed. "Nice to see you here inside Subway."
"The big guy always makes way for welcomes!" Ryback chuckled.
"You definitely do, Mr. Ryback sir!" Douglas nodded. "What would you like, sir?"
Ryback often wondered what he wanted. There were so many choices and so many decisions. What kind of sandwich sounded better for the Intercontinental Champion? After all, there was no way Ryback was going to compete on an empty stomach.
After choosing carefully, Ryback made his choice.
"Give me the Big Philly Cheesesteak with Italian bread!" Ryback exclaimed.
"Comin' right up!" Douglas nodded.
Right away, Douglas began making Ryback's sandwich with much needed patience.
But right as he was waiting, he overheard some hippie protestors outside.
They were both lead by two female teenagers. One had a rastafarian hat with dreadlocks, and one of them had long orange hair, glasses, and dressed all hippie lookish. Ryback couldn't overhear them so much, but he hardly cared about them. Yet, he really wanted to make sure.
"What's up with those loud freaks outside?" Ryback replied.
"Oh, they're just pissed-off vegetarians protesting outside our store," Douglas reminded him. "We've tried our best to get the hose on them, but unfortunately, they just keep coming back like a bad disease."
"Yeah, it's just like one of my ex-girlfriends." Ryback chuckled.
"I get ya, buddy." Douglas nodded as he was immediately finished making the bug guy's sandwich. With a smile, he handed him his meal. "Here you go, big man!"
"Thanks, The Big Guy appreciates it!" Ryback nodded.
Sitting next to the left window, Ryback unwrapped his sandwich, feeling the hot aroma from the cheese melting from the steak. He never found meat any juicier and tender than he already seen it. It was perhaps the most juiciest cheesesteak sandwich he had ever seen. Pat's and Geno's Steaks down at Philadelphia don't compare to the cheesesteak sandwich they have at Subway.
Ryback could feel the first bite happening momentarily.
"Oh Big Philly Cheesesteak, come to the big guy!" Ryback smirked.
But before he could get in that first bite, however...
...
...the protesters broke down the door, scaring Ryback a bit!
"DON'T SKIN ANIMALS, LOVE THEM AS YOUR OWN! DON'T SKIN ANIMALS, LOVE THEM AS YOUR OWN!" The vegan protestors shouted.
Ryback was disappointed.
All he wanted to do was to chow down on that first big bite of his sandwich, and now some teenage vegans had the courtesy of interrupting what was supposedly his pre-match snack. To think they were more annoying on the outside of the restaurant, they were more annoying inside there as well. All of their chants of 'Don't skin animals, love them as your own', was starting to become an earworm to the customers sitting here. And it definitely became an earworm to Ryback who was annoyed at the chant.
Not taking this anymore, Ryback stood up to them.
"Hey, what the hell are you hippie-freaks messing up my meal?!" Ryback snapped.
"Sir, what you're eating here is a poor defense animal!" The orange haired female with glasses replied. "It's murder, I tell ya!"
"Well, he's sure tasty I can tell you that," Ryback shrugged. "Who are you two supposed to be?"
"My apologies, dear soul," The girl with the rasta hat said. "I am Laurie and this is my dear friend, Miles. And we are here to make sure that no poor animal gets their precious skin shredded around this place."
"I agree, there are too many animals getting chopped up, diced up, shredded up, cooked, broiled, barbecued, and murdered all for food." Miles replied grimly. "We must realize that animals aren't meant to be loved, cherished and adored, not eaten for amusement. If people around us would listen, they would get the picture."
"Eh, the big guy ain't buying it." Ryback smirked.
Just to prove a point, the Big Guy chomped a huge big bite of his sandwich, which made Laurie and Miles cringe in horror. Not seeing much of this anymore, Laurie snatched the sandwich away from Ryback.
"Hey, what the hell?!" Ryback said with his mouth full.
"I'm sorry I had to do this, but it's only for your own good." Laurie said with love.
"What's good is that you give my sandwich back!" Ryback exclaimed.
Before Ryback could reach for that Big Philly Cheesesteak, Miles decided to step in.
"Please, sir! Look into your heart!" Miles exclaimed.
"Why should I?" The Big Guy raised his eyebrow.
"Do you really want to hurt something between two slices of bread?" Miles gasped. "This came out of a horse! A horse who didn't have to deserve the butchering he needed. What if this horse that you're eating had babies to nurture? He should've lived a healthy life to live! But he had to pay for it with his life all because of those heartless farmers decide to murder precious creatures. Won't you look inside your heart today? Won't you look into this poor creatures eyes? He may be dead already, but it's not too late to change your ways. Say no to eating animals, will you?"
However, something touched Ryback's heart.
Just looking at that poor evil sandwich and imagining it as a cute baby animal started to tear up the Intercontinental Champion. Is this what his life had been reduced to? Just eating that sonuvabitch like a piece of meat, just like he does to his opponents? Maybe Laurie and Miles were right. Maybe it was time that Ryback reconsidered what was more important to life and the way he ate.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking," Ryback sobbed. "I never meant to eat a poor animal just for food. Maybe all of you happy-dappy hippie-freaks aren't that bad at all. Maybe it's about time I made a change for once."
Hearing this from Ryback, both Laurie and Miles hugged the Intercontinental Champion in a happy, care-free way.
"That's the spirit!" Laurie exclaimed.
"I knew we did what was right for you!" Miles exclaimed as well. "Good job!"
"Yeah, I did do a good job, did I!" Ryback chuckled, patting the girls in the back. "In fact, I may never eat meat again at all!"
"I'm glad to hear it!" Laurie nodded.
But strangely, as they were still hugging Ryback, they felt their shirts tug tightly. Laurie and Miles chuckled nervously, hoping it was just a friendly tug. After they broke off the hug, Ryback knew the best way he would celebrate.
"Thanks for seeing me the light, girls." Ryback exclaimed. "But there's something I nearly forgot to tell both of you."
"What's that?" Miles asked him nervously.
Suddenly, Ryback's hands squeezed both Laurie and Miles's shoulders painfully. With a vengeful smirk on the Big Guy's face, he ended up telling the two of them these words off:
"I lied."
10 hours later...
Laurie and Miles were in stitches and in body casts as they ended up recuperating in a Toronto hospital. Apparently, their little meeting with Ryback ended up fooling the both of them, which explained why Miles's glasses was smashed and Laurie ended up suffering nothing but deep bruises around the face. Plus, her hat was missing in the process.
"Well, that didn't end well." Laurie gulped.
"I know," Miles nodded painfully. "I think we over did it too much. Apparently, Subway doesn't give a flying crap about us."
"Tell me about it," Laurie nodded as well. "Hopefully, some TV might help a little bit."
With her hand on the remote, Laurie turned on the TV only for a Subway commercial to appear. Strange enough, it was starring Ryback."
"Hey, I'm WWE superstar and current Intercontinental Champion, Ryback, here to tell you about Subway's tasty Big Philly Cheesesteak!" Ryback smirked, holding up a sandwich. "It's big, it's meaty, it's cheesy and it's fit for the big guy like me! Make sure you come by today and buy one, otherwise this might be you!"
Shockingly, the camera scrolled down...
...
...
...only to see Laurie and Miles on the TV looking bruised and battered.
"W-w-won't you reconsider?" Laurie painfully shuddered.
"Please?" Miles begged.
It was too late for them.
Ryback put the sandwich away and picked up the vegans up on his shoulders. Laurie and Miles tried to think desperately on how to escape, but it was to no use, as Ryback slammed them to the floor with a double Shellshocked! What made it more painful was that they were slammed on tile floors and not in a ring mat.
While the two vegans were laid unconscious on the floor, Ryback turned to the camera with a smile.
"So if you don't want to be like this Bob Marley-haired transsexual and this god-awful Woodstock reject, than come on down to Subway right away!" Ryback exclaimed. "Where our new motto is, 'Feed... Us... More'!"
Sighing painfully, Laurie turned off the TV and looked at Miles with such curiosity.
"I gotta admit, he sells better than that Jared guy." Laurie nodded.
"Yeah, no wonder that guy started off in small jeans and ended up in much more smaller jeans." Miles gulped.
"I'd stay far away from him if I were you," Laurie reminded he, before reaching up for a big carrot stick. "Want a carrot stick?"
"I'd love that so much." Miles nodded weakly.
And so, the two enjoyed their much needed snack break from the hospital. Regardless of how that unexpected run-in with Ryback ended, at least it gave them a nice stern warning: Always be careful of what you say...
...
...
...because you might end up getting fed by Ryback.
Ouch, that's gotta hurt for Laurie and Miles. They're definitely gonna want to put some ice on that for sure.
Anyway, feedbacks are welcome! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off! FEED... ME... MOOOOORE!