((edit READ THIS!!!! Tsk Tsk Tsk. I see that I have fooled many. Stubborn users, I tell you to read the whole thing and you only read the first paragraph, must frown upon this. However, it is quite amusing to receive flames telling me how the concept (of the first few paragraphs) is overused, stupid and cliché. But please, if you don't want to fall under the category of people I think I have fooled (there are three already, look under my reviews), read the whole story, it isn't too long and it might actually make you laugh insert pouty smile here insert joke about inserting things here))
If you are actually going to read this, read it the whole way through! Trust me on this one, it isn't that long. I was bored so I wrote this. I know it's stupid, so there's no need to flame! But let me remind you again, read the whole thing!!!!! Trust me.
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything Lord of the Rings and I don't own the concept of a Mary Sue! I really don't see the point of disclaimers, it is 'fanfiction'. If we did own anything worth more than belly button lint, we wouldn't be posting stories on this site. However, I do own Legolas' shotgun, which is worth a blowjob (considerably much more than belly lint) smile
The Other Daughter
Araniel fell upon the wet ground, crying and clutching her leg. She couldn't go any further, she had run as far as she could away from Rivendell. So far, that, she no longer knew where she was. Her father, Lord Elrond, had just refused to let her be a part of the Council. Little did she know that he had his reasons. Elrond had the gift of foresight, and he saw that if she joined this journey, this turn in the world, her heart would be taken, for good or for bad. She would face loss, peril, and his little girl would no longer be his.
But Araniel knew none of this; all she knew was that her father wouldn't let her be apart of something important, because she wasn't good enough. That made her furious, so she ran away. 'This will teach him,' she thought on many occasions. However, at the moment, wet, hurt, lost and exhausted, the memories of Rivendell smote her heart and all thoughts. Oh how she longed to be there, by the fireplace, in a blanket, surrounded by the people she loved. But this was not to be.
Araniel snapped out of her daydream and focused on the present, what she had to do to survive. She looked down at her bloody leg, the wound she acquired when she crossed paths with a small band of orcs. Pity for the orcs really, they all ended up dead while she walked away with a flesh wound. Her brothers, Elladan and Elrohir taught her how to fight, she was one of the best, with sword, dagger and bow.
Araniel used her arms to pull herself under a large pine tree, then collected some athelas to help her wound. Before she had the chance to bind her leg, she collapsed, her body was weak, all she could do was cry. She didn't know how long she lay there, but she drifted off into sleep, tears and dreams merged and became one.
The morning after she slowly drifted back into consciousness, only to hear the sound of soft singing. She looked around, she saw no one, but her leg was bound, tied by a fine piece of linen.
"Who is there?" she asked and demanded.
The person stopped singing and walked around, he was behind the tree. She saw his feet from under the boughs of the pine. He ducked under, a concerned look on his face.
"Aragorn??" Araniel gazed in wonder at the handsome ranger, "I thought you were in Rivendell."
"Well, I was." he replied calmly, "But when I heard you had run off, I came searching for you."
"Oh," she blushed and brushed her long golden hair behind her ears. She and Aragorn had spent a lot of time together during his stay in Rivendell, "Thank you, I guess."
"Your welcome, I guess," he teased and sat down next to her.
They looked into each others' eyes for a moment, then she turned away, "Is my father, erm, mad?"
"I don't think so," he said, taking her hand in his, "He seemed worried, upset, regretful, but not mad, at you at least."
"Who is he mad at then?"
"Himself."
"Oh. Ok." she replied nervously, "Why? I ran away."
"He realized that he was selfish, selfish not to let you go."
"Selfish?" she wondered, "I thought he didn't think I was good enough to go."
"No, no," Aragorn laughed, "You're one of the best there is, not to mention one of the most beautiful."
Araniel giggled; He had been saying things like that ever since they met.
"No, Araniel, don't laugh, I'm serious. Lord Elrond said something about a vision," Aragorn said seriously, "That your heart would be taken. He just doesn't want to lose his little girl."
"My heart..." The hand not being held by Aragorn moved to her chest, feeling her heartbeat.
"Yeah, I'm not quite sure what he means by that."
"I do." she murmured absently.
"What? Do share," he smiled.
"He means I'll fall in love," she looked out at the morning around them, "But it's too late for that, I think I already have." She looked into his eyes.
"Oh," he said. Aragorn had a pretty good idea of who this man was, but didn't wish to presume, "Who?"
"You," she said softly.
They just stared at each other for a moment. Araniel leaned into him. After a few moments of this, she looked up at him, "Kiss me, Ranger."
So he did, he leaned into her, closed his eyes and placed his mouth softly upon hers, the sweetest thing he had ever felt in his life. The kiss deepened, they were both in heaven.
Then Aragorn opened his eyes, looking shocked.
"What the fu..." he mumbled into her mouth.
He looked down at Araniel, who had flung her arms around his neck, trying to stick her tongue in his mouth. Something had just snapped inside of him. 'Why am I kissing this girl? Who is she? Did she say she was Elrond's daughter? What????'
Aragorn didn't really mind kissing the girl, he swung both ways these days. But he was still wary of who he shared company with. 'She's Elrond's daughter? Elrond only has one daughter.' Aragorn was very confused. 'Wait a minute...' he tried pushing away Araniel, 'She's a...she's a...' he looked utterly horrified, 'She's a Mary Sue!!!!!'
Aragorn jumped up, unfortunately hitting his head on the tree they were sitting under. 'Pine trees in this part of Middle Earth? I don't think so...'
"Aragorn, what's wrong?" Araniel asked, her voice now squeaky, her hair turning a dull shade of bottle blonde, various spots and bumps sprouting up on her face. The spell set on Aragorn to make her seem beautiful had vanished.
"Stay away from me!" he shouted, scooting backwards until he was out from under the tree.
"Aragorn!!!!! But we're in looooooooove!" she shrieked.
"No. No! NO! Stay away!" he started to get up.
Araniel was not heeding his words. She crawled out from under the tree, her leg obviously not hurt, stretching her arms out in front of her, trying to grabAragorn's feet.
With surprising agility for a girl who supposedly just ran far enough from her home to be lost, she hopped up and jumped onto his back. "Don't leave Aragorn! We're in looooove! We're meant to be togeeeetheeeeer!!!!!!"
Aragorn flung her off his back and pulled out his sword, pointing it straight at the ugly little girl sprawled on the forest floor. "Look, just, leave me alone, please," Aragorn begged, he hated Mary Sues, but really didn't want to kill her unless necessary.
"Aragorn," she started crying, "I...I...we...love...ARAGORN!!!!" she wailed.
He hated seeing her cry, but it was his chance to escape. He backed slowly away, then turned around to trot back to Rivendell. Unfortunately for Aragorn, the crying was just a ploy by the Mary Sue. She got up and stealthily followed him back
Around midday he ran into a makeshift camp Legolas had made.
"Hey man!" shouted Legolas "Why you look so stressed?"
"Mary Sue..." Aragorn trailed off, looking over his shoulder for good measure.
"That sucks, perfect way to ruin a day," Legolas sighed, "Want a beer?"
"Yeah..."
They grabbed a bottle and sat down on a log. They both jumped up and grabbed their weapons when they heard a stick snap behind them.
"It's just me guys..." said Elrond, walking out into the campsite with his hands raised.
"Good, what are you doing out here?" asked Legolas.
"Just needed to get away, Rivendell is swamped with a bunch of teenies who think they're my daughter."
"Yeah, I met one today," said Aragorn.
"Figures, there are tons of them running around screaming 'LEGOLAS!!!' They're asking for everyone. From Pippin to Gimli to Boromir. Hell, some of them are even screaming my and Gandalf's name," Elrond sighed.
"Geez, I didn't know it was getting that bad," murmured Aragorn.
"Yeah, they're started to bewitch us now, puts us under spells," stated Legolas, "They just don't like knocking us unconscious and ravaging us while we're asleep anymore. Now they want 'relationships'."
They all frowned.
"God, I miss the good ol' days," sighed Aragorn.
"Yeah, when all you had to worry about was the occasional elf-maiden who claimed she was carrying your child," said Legolas.
They sat in silence, sipping on their beers, reminiscing of the days of old.
Araniel sat in a tree overhead the camp. She was starting to breathe heavily, Aragorn, Legolas and Elrond, in the same place and the same time. This was just too good to pass up, she'd make her move in a few minutes. But her breathing just got heavier and heavier.
Legolas stood up, hearing the Sue's breathing. He reached for his weapon, aimed at the tree, and fired. Aragorn and Elrond stood up to look at what Legolas had shot. A blonde girl fell from the tree with a thud.
"Is this the one you met earlier?" asked Legolas.
"Yeah, that's the one..." said Aragorn.
"Why didn't you kill her when you had the chance?!?" Elrond inquired.
"You know these fics, we're always OOC," explained Aragorn, "Legolas, where'd you get that?" he touched the shotgun Legolas had just killed Araniel with.
"Sauron," Legolas simply replied.
"Good man, err...eye," stated Elrond, "Well, we should probably be heading back now,"
They all gathered their things and headed off, Legolas and Aragorn both kicked the dead blonde girl on their way out of the campsite.
"You know, I almost feel sorry for her," said Aragorn, "She mustn't have been too bright."
"Yeah," said Elrond, "Silly bint, everyone knows all my kids have dark hair..."
They walked on, pondering the situation they found themselves in with the Mary Sues.
"Hey Legolas..." Aragorn said.
"Yea?"
"What did you have to do to get that shotgun?"
"Blow job."
"Oh, I see," Aragorn considered, "Well, that's not too bad, can you give me Sauron's number."
"Yeah, sure, it's on my Rolodex at home."
"Does he have them in purple?" asked Elrond.
"Not sure."
"Oh, ok."
"Hey Legolas..." Aragorn said again.
"Yea?"
"How exactly do you give an eye a blow job anyway?"
Legolas just smiled and walked on.
Yeah, I know, stupid, but hey, I got a kick out of writing it. That's all I really care about. Did you all think it was a serious Mary Sue, did I fool you? Did I? Did I? Darn, I didn't... I actually felt like I was going to puke when I was writing the beginning of this, you know, the mushy serious sickly stuff. It's hard to write like that on purpose. Kudos to all who can!
I think people like giving flames more than they like giving compliments. It's kind of sad really. I have never given anyone a flame, if the story sucks, I'll pick out something I liked or thought was good, and maybe tell them what they can do to improve it.
What is the world coming to?
I don't think I'll ever write a serious story. I want to, but it's so much easier for me to take things lightly. smile
I love reviews!
(edit I have to tell someone... I have just come to the conclusion that Brad Pitt is the sexiest man on the face of this planet. Yes, sexier than Orlando, Johnny, Heath, Ashton, all those guys. From bronzed Greek to soldier to bloodthirsty delusional warrior to free spirited cowboy to vampire, he remains sexy.
Hugh Jackman comes in close second unedit)