THIS IS A STORY WRITTEN BY MERVIN AND MELVIN ABOUT THE PRINCE WITH BAD HAIR AND THE PAUPER (GIRL WITH MAD SHOVEL SKILLZ).

She was perfect... her hair was so symmetrical, perfectly congruent on either side. She smelled like sweet, sweet strawberry bubble tea. She looked at me with those eyes... the pupils seemed to project the love in her eyes. I began to stride over to her when...BENJI! GET YOUR GLUTENOUS MAXIMS OUT OF BED!

Gosh darn it... it was only a dream. :( I made my way over to the bathroom and saw my crows nest on my head in the mirror. Wow... such horrific sight so early in the morning had to be bad for my health. Tessa was going to decapitate me... and shave my head. Suddenly I heard my mother shrieking from the bottom of the staircase.

"Benji! It's already 8 o'clock! Get going. say bow giey!"

"Lay gun, Mom!" I yellled back.

At school

"8:10 am already, OH NOOOOOOOOO! I'm late!"
I dashed through the classroom door expecting 's death glare but instead was greeted by the sounds of my fellow classmates laughing hysterically as well as .

"OH! Ben, how nice of you to join us? Were you working for Siobhan?" said and continued on laughing.

"What?" I said. How did he know about my love life?! I had a dead bold on my diary! Suddenly I looked towards my friends but they were avoiding my gaze; except for Tessa and Marian... they were pointing frantically at my hair while Tessa displayed a disgusted look on her face. Called it. I thought.

Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I spotted Siobhan... As beautiful as ever... she seemed to glow in the darkness of this gloomy classroom... like an angel wrapped in light. She shown out like a beacon of light so bright, she would have made Andrew look Indian.

She turned her back to me and started to converse with Alan.. my BFF. A sudden pang of jealousy erupted within me, but I pushed it away.

"Grab a seat, Ben. School has already begun."

I stalked over to my seat with my head down to hide my red face. I took a seat next to Matthew who was fiddling with his yoyo.

"Fart stix, wass upp, man?" He said sounding bored.

"What were you guys talking about that you ended up laughing about Siobhan and-"

"Sup, do you have any Kgury?" He said wiggling his unibrow and using his Indian accent which Tessa and Marian suspected wasn't an accent at all.

"We were just talking about the nominees for the cutest couple in the yearbook." said Matthew.

"Gentle men," Said . "The lesson has began, please stop talking."

After school at bubble tea shop

I walked into my shop with Matthew and saw Siobhan sitting with Caleb, Candice, Alanna, Jayde, Josh, Marian, and Tessa laughing.

Even if they were all my friends, the only thing I could focus on was her.

I walked over to Jon-Jon and asked for a bubble tea for Siobhan. Once I got it I thanked my awesome brother and made my way to the table.

What? That peculiar, Siobhan was sitting all alone. Oh well, not like I would be focusing on anything else. Too bad I didn't know that all my friends were hiding behind the fireplace.

"Hey Ben" She said in her sweet melodic voice.

"Hi" I sqeaked out. "Umm, this is for you" I said while handing her the beverage. She snached the cup out of my grasp as quick as a cat and took a swig of it. By the time I blinked, the cup was empty. Wow that's adorable. I thought

"What?" she inquired

"hmmm? I didn't say anything." I said.

"Umm... Yah you did, you just said that I was adorable."

"Oh..." I said blushing. Wait ago Ben! Now she thinks your a total creep and will never love you! I couldn't hold it in any longer. I had to tell her.

"Siobhan, Siobhan, Siobhan.

Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it aloud makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that, isn't it – a heart ringing – but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy. There is no pretending, I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I will love you then. If you love me back, I promise to never leave you. Just be with me and be mine, for I cannot bear to live another moment of my life without you."

"But Ben,"

"No," I said, "Don't speak yet. Look sweet cheeks, life is a book, and there are a thousand pages I have not yet read. I wish to read as many pages as I possibly can with you before I die. And if this whole speech hasn't convinced you, then I offer you free bubble tea in return for your heavenly affection."

When I began speaking, she looked pained, but near the end, her head snapped up and she grinned widely at me.
"YES! I LOVE YOU TOO BENJI!"

In the distance I could hear a faint "aweing" and a comment of disgust from Matthew and Tessa.

"Hey! I said angrily. Don't be a hater! How long were you there anyways?"

"Long enough for me to hack up a hair ball!" Said Josh.

"I would have left by now," said Candice "but frankly, professions of love amuse me, especially when unrequited."

We spent 2 great months together, we won for best couple in the yearbook, we shared bubble tea everyday, we even ate durian together. It was heaven. But on that unfaithful day...

I was supposed to meet Siobhan at the cafe at 1:00 but I couldn't find my wallet. I ran in expecting to see her sitting there looking angry with me but instead I saw the horrific, ugly, disturbance that was Alan and Siobhan sharing a strawberry milk tea. I couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped my lips.

"AHHHHHH!" How could you!?" I raged.

"Ben I can explai-" Siobhan said starting to get up.

"Save it for later, I don't want to hear it!" But I did want to hear it, her sweet voice was always pleasant to me. But in the moment. there was no time for excuses.

Alan was waving a plastic card in the air. It took me a moment to recognize it but when I did, I saw that it was a premium, golden, cafeteria card. Wow, no wonder she left me.

"Brah, you gotta have dis plastic gold mine to satisfy dem ladies." He said pimply.

"But-" I began.

"SAVE IT FOR LATER SCRUB! YOU GOTTA HAVE DEM SKILLZ TO GET A LADY LIKE HER." Alan snarled putting his arm around Siobhan and waddling out of the cafeteria.

I writhered in pain on the cold hard floor and didn't even get up when one of the cafeteria lady's called me a noob. I suddenly heard foot steps coming my way and for a brief moment, I though it was Siobhan but then I heard that voice.

"Hey bro, what happened?"

"She left me..." I sobbed pathetically. I thought she was the one! The one I would spend the rest of my life with! And of all people! My best friend had to steel my girl!"

"Well... have you ever considered me as a possible life partner...?" Matthew said weakly. The Matthew that I know... the one that was always bored and never cared about anything, seemed to be hiding a blush.

"What?"

DUN DUN DUN! TO BE CONTINUED IN OUR NEXT FANFIC CALLED THE YOYO MASTER AND THE MAN THAT LIKES STRINGS. ( IF YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT)

Fanfic acknowledgment:

Written by 2 horrible people: Marian and Tessa.