Haha so I was supposed to be on break while I'm studying abroad in Japan... but I couldn't resist. Here's a little something I wrote up a while back... just finished it a couple days ago. I hope you enjoy it! Despite being in Japan and being busy like all the time haha, I still found time to watch a new anime: 07 Ghosts. I highly recommend it! I am going to start watching Haibane Renmei & Kuroshitsuji, too. One of the girls who's also studying abroad with us suggested the latter to me. I apologize for rambling ^^ Sorry if I made any mistakes!
Summary: I found him on the bathroom floor of the library, contemplating suicide. Soon after, he told me that I saved his life, but the truth is… he saved mine. AU, Sasuke POV, teen rating (language, suicidal thoughts/intentions), oneshot, SasuNaru.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto. I do own this really cool Asuka figurine that I won at a game center in Sendai... on my first try. You know those grabby machines? Yeah.. I got lucky XD
Library Time with my Lifesaver
People always find reason to complain about my personality. I'm cynical and dark. I have a distinctive sense of humor that not many other people get. I'm somewhat of a misanthropist, I don't really like kids, and I'm not exactly a sociable person. I don't like to drink, smoke, or go to parties. So can you imagine how happy I was on St. Patrick's Day, surrounded by drunken, green-wearing, college students?
I had a six page lab report due the next day and was currently traveling to the library to complete it. I was more than irritable as I trudged through the grass. It was the first nice day; the cold weather was finally turning around. All the girls deemed it appropriate to wear ass shorts and flip flops; the boys, plaid shorts and sandals. I even saw one boy wearing a kilt.
Some sorority house across the street was blasting loud, punk Irish music. Can you imagine? In the middle of the day? I was walking across campus and I could hear it as if I was blasting the music myself. Ridiculous.
I could hear drunken babble coming from a group of students walking in my direction. I grimaced as I realized that I recognized half of them from some of my science classes. Half of them were piss ass drunk… and the other half was full of great pretenders.
One girl with pink hair was shouting loudly: "Omg, omg… I learned how to draw a goose!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust at her comment. She seemed vaguely familiar, perhaps I had class with her... biology, freshman year. "I want to show Naruto! Where is he? Naruto? Naruto?"
"Sa-ku-ra-chaan! Naruto's not here silly!" A girl with pale blonde hair smacked her companion on the shoulder. "He's writing up that thing he's doing. Right, Shika?"
"Mm." A boy in the group answered noncommittally. Nara Shikamaru… I had physics and chemistry with him.
"SASUKE-KUUUUN!" Sakura ran towards me, her alcoholic breath nearly making me vomit. She almost threw herself into my personal space, but I suppose my glare reached her semi-conscious mind and she stopped. "What are you doing tonight? Are you going out?"
"No." I uttered, ready to walk past her. Didn't she see I was walking towards the library? Didn't she notice my overstuffed backpack? I had work to do.
"See you in class tomorrow, Uchiha." Shikamaru said to me with a shrug in his voice as Sakura and her blonde friend dashed away. He and some other boy (who was eating a bag of chips) followed after the two girls.
Needless to say, by the time I reached the library, I was livid.
Luckily, there were no drunken antics in the library. I managed to get about three pages done and it was only 4:30 in the afternoon. I had to tutor a sophomore in organic chemistry at 5:00pm and then I would grab a quick bite to eat and return to the library to finish my lab report. Hopefully I would be done by 9:30pm, go back to my room and relax. I would be left alone for a few hours, because my roommate, Aburame Shino had gone out with his friends.
I would appreciate the alone time. It had been a hectic, stressful week so far. I didn't have anything else due tomorrow… this lab report was my big assignment for the week. So after I finished it, I could finally breathe.
After unplugging my ears, I stood up from my seat and walked towards the bathroom. Going to the bathroom in the library always disgusted me. There was always some sort of surprise in one of the stalls. Yes, I prefer to use stalls, not urinals. I try to avoid bearing my genitals to any man that walks through the door. I happen to be a very private person.
I pushed open the door to the bathroom and made my way over to the first stall. I pushed the door open, the door squeaking loudly. Of course, there was a nasty surprise in the toilet, so I instantly pushed the next door open without a second glance.
"Ow!" Someone cried and I heard the sound of pills splattering on the floor. "Dammit!"
I stared into the bathroom stall in shock. A male with golden blonde hair was getting up off the floor, holding a half-empty pill bottle. Tiny white pills decorated the floor around him. The blonde was holding his hand up to his forehead.
"You didn't lock the door." I found myself saying accusingly, as if it was his fault that I slammed the door into his face.
The blonde looked at me with sharp, blue eyes. "Well, no one ever comes in here. Jeez, you killed half my brain cells just now."
I continued to stare at the blonde for a moment. Then my dark eyes strayed to the pill bottle in his hand. "Menstrual cramps?" I offered sardonically, quirking an eyebrow.
"Oh ha, ha, very funny!" The blonde rolled his blue eyes, but the corners of his lips were turning upwards. "Oh, my name is Uzumaki Naruto. Nice to meet you, I guess." He stuck his hand out and I found myself grasping onto it. His hand was soft and warm. It startled me so much that I released his hand.
"Uchiha Sasuke." I introduced myself. I didn't understand why I was talking to this boy in the bathroom. I didn't understand why I felt drawn to him in some way. But I was curious about him and his pill bottle.
"Holy shit! I've heard of you! You're supposed to be some kind of genius, right?"
"I suppose."
"Yeah, Shika has mentioned you once or twice. He said you were kind of a jerk. But you don't seem that bad to me. A little robotic maybe… but not a jerk."
"I've been called worse." I was more than a little robotic. I was a creature of habit, I had my routines, and if I could not adhere to them I became irritable. I thrived off of structure and order. I did not like change, especially if it came without warning.
"I can't remember if I've ever had class with you before…" Naruto trailed off pensively. "I don't think so. I'm mostly taking psychology and education courses here. You're all into those intense sciences. I couldn't deal with that."
"Why were you sitting on the ground with those pills?" I ignored the new topic and focused on the one that had intrigued me the most.
Naruto's face turned red and he looked away from me. "Well… to be honest… I was going to kill myself. I've been really overwhelmed lately with classes and home stuff… and I just felt sick to my stomach. I just wanted it to end."
I blinked at the blonde in shock. I never would have expected that answer to come out of his mouth. The blonde seemed too perky and talkative to be suicidal. And the fact that he was pursuing a career in psychology made his behavior all the more ironic. But then again, what do I know about psychology?
"Why would you commit suicide?" I asked sharply.
"I just told you!" Naruto snapped back. "I've been really stressed lately and I just… oh fuck it, like you'd understand."
He was probably right, but his response only infuriated me. "Then go tell someone that would understand." I said through gritted teeth. "I'm sure you have plenty of friends."
My comment seemed to upset Naruto further, which was not my intention. "My friends?" The blonde repeated bitterly. "They're all drinking and completely oblivious to the fact that I'm… they don't see it. And it's funny, because I'm always the one checking facial expressions, listening for voice tones, and asking if people are okay. I always take care of them. But not one of them even noticed that I… I don't ask people for help, because I don't want to burden them. But they always come to me for help. And I don't mind it, I love helping people. But I just wish that someone would be as meticulous towards me as I am towards them.
"I've got a shit ton of work to do. I've got this ten-page paper on flashbulb memories in cognitive psychology and I only have 3 pages and it's due tomorrow morning. But I can't even get up and finish it because I have to babysit before cog psych. And I can't get motivated to do work, I just don't care anymore, but at the same time, I know I have to get it done or my grade will go down. And I can't tell if my lack of motivation is happening because I'm burned out or if it's because Jiraiya died-"
"Who's that?" I interrupted with a frown.
"My adoptive grandfather… he died over a week ago on Saturday." Naruto smiled sadly. "He was the best. We did everything together. But Tsunade-baachan is taking it even worse than I am. They were married for 38 years. Can you imagine?"
"No." I said truthfully. "I can't. I don't have a family."
"Really?" Naruto cocked his head to one side. "My Mom died a week after she had me and my Dad was killed in a car accident when I was four."
"My brother killed my parents and then killed himself." I avoided his gaze, looking at the white ceiling, wondering why I was saying words I wouldn't normally say.
Naruto's jaw dropped open. "I'm so sorry… that's horrible." His blue eyes were stunned. "How old were you when-"
"Seven."
"Shit… I don't even know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything." I replied sharply. "You'd make a good psychologist."
"Why do you say that?"
"You got me to talk about something I haven't even thought of in almost a decade."
"Thanks I guess… but I wouldn't make such a great example for my future patients if I off myself." Naruto shrugged; a somewhat helpless expression on his face.
"Don't do it then." I shrugged, avoiding his blue gaze. "And don't forget how you felt… because there are thousands of other people that feel the same way. If they didn't, you wouldn't have a job. You can use your own experiences and struggles to help your patients."
"You're really smart, you know that?" The blonde's smile lit up the bathroom.
"… I'm going back downstairs to finish my paper." I inwardly sighed; I was starting to get a headache. "Don't kill yourself."
"Can I join you?" Naruto asked as I turned to walk away.
I frowned, but realized that the boy just needed company. People always complain about how distant and hostile I am. "As long as you're quiet."
"Yessir!" Naruto all but ran out of the bathroom. "I'll find you!" He called over his shoulder as he disappeared around the corner.
I smacked my hand to my forehead. What had I gotten myself into?
Five months have passed and still I have not found the answer. Somehow, Naruto had wormed himself into my life. He wasn't constantly around bombarding me with his presence, he didn't try and force me into therapy (and neither did I)… but we saw each other almost every day. And when we didn't… my day felt empty, unfulfilled, as if I hadn't finished something. It was the same feeling I got whenever I procrastinated, which was not something I did often.
We never brought up the bathroom incident. But I hadn't forgotten about it. He probably didn't either. Sometimes he jokingly calls me his "lifesaver". Naruto always tells me that I saved his life. But the truth is… he saved mine. One day, I will repay him.
His loud friends always want to know the story behind it. They want to know why Naruto values me more than them, why I have earned the title of "lifesaver". I do not like Naruto's friends. If they could not even notice his suffering, they do not deserve his never-ending kindness and loyalty. They will never know. Not while Naruto and I are…
I cannot describe the bond between us with mere words. It is inadequate. Not even the most poetic paragraph, nor the most harmonious symphony could capture or embody the sensation I feel when he is with me. I was afraid at first, afraid that he would take my routines and shred them and I would be left with nothing. But he fit perfectly right into my life. It was not an easy transition, as no transitions are easy, but we are a "we" now.
Is it love? I am not sure yet. I did not think I was capable of such a feat until before. It could simply be companionship. It could simply be that we are kindred spirits who have found common ground on a miserable planet such as this one.
I do not know what the future holds. The world is changing. The earth is dying. I am only a college student, one among millions. But I know now that I do not have to face it alone, whatever it is. I have Naruto and Naruto has me. We are each other's saviors. And to think, that I met my savior in a bathroom of a college library.
The End
And that's that! Let me know what you thought of it please :)
