FFX Fanfics In A Nutshell
Hehehe this is just a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY random something I put together while in my sexy bitch's (Mina a.k.a Amy, who was so helpful in contributing to the story I just have to give the sexy beast credit before I return her, tied up with a ball gag, to under my bed) house .
I hope you enjoy it and I warn you: this may kill you in the end…
Disclaimer: The writer and his bitch do not own FFX or X-2 or Starbucks (though we desperately want to).
Yuna was incredibly fed up. She had been watching Tidus masturbate over a copy of Auron's debut album: Dum Dum Durn!!!!!!!!!!! for about 17 hours, pitying Tidus who hadn't already discovered his dick was a massive purple cucumber with socks saying IM A RETARD for balls, so therefore could never experience the joys of masturbation.
So Yuna got up from the dead camel she had been lying on, left the kindergarten (by the way I'm not American) they both were sitting in and walked out into the street where an ORIGINAL CHARACTER popped out. Yuna could not tell whether it was a girl or a boy, so it was similar to the writer of this random display of nonsense that has been mistaken for a girl because of his hair many times, so the writer is referred to as heshe, neither he nor she…
Anyways Yuna suddenly heard some geeky voice say of nowhere: 'This is an original character! Heshes's name is Hipshank! Heshe is as suspiciously perfect as the author wants heshe to be! All the random assholes in this game suddenly think heshe is cool, fights like a warrior when heshe in fact can't even throw a small ferret any real distance but please don't anyone that woops I already did! Ahe he he he! I don't fit in with the other girls so I eat to solve my problems!
So Yuna suddenly got down and humped Hipshank's leg, not even thinking twice that they hadn't even known each other for more than 12.89 seconds… Lulu came out of nowhere and said: 'I suddenly turned lesbian despite my obvious heterosexuality implied in the games!'
And so Lulu tore off her bizarre garments and pulled an already nakie Rikku and started to scissor sister her.
A 'stereo-type reviewer giving praise to the stupid illogical yaoi and yuri stories written by the people who write that kind of crap' jumped up of nowhere and said in an expressionless, emotionless voice: 'oh wow… yeah… that was so hot…write more of this crap… this is 'good' shit…' that person then proceeded to burst into flames, of which Auron popped out of nowhere and said that it was the holy fire of his god, Gotaproblemwithmekidthengofuckacow, and then he worshiped it, chanting 'Doritos are good with sex everyone knows that' over and over again.
Then suddenly the writer of this story and his bitch were sucked through the computer screen which they were watching Teletubby porn with and landed for some stupid reason in the game.
Tidus came running out of the nursery he was whacking off in, with his trousers still on and said 'Oh wow, you two came out of nowhere in particular so I'm just going to accept that and asked no questions about the fact that you just happened to pop up where the main characters of this random fuck were, so now you have to fight with us with either retarded or copied weapons, even though you really don't have to!'.
The writer and his bitch said the word cupcakes to this and went to grab a coffee at Starbucks while we still had the chance, because fucking Northern Ireland has no fucking Starbucks so that sucks.
Then Sin came a second time, along with Vegnagun, even though they had already been permanently destroyed they just decided to come join the ride, so they sat down at a beach, where Vegnagun sat on and squashed a five-year old child who had just finished his first day of school and was described as promising to his fatso parents.
Yes isn't it just so sad –coughs-.
Then Kimarhri came, dressed in black spandex and talking to his mentally retarded dogs for children. 'What are drugs, daddy?' one of them barked.
'Drugs are like a really evil coffee,' he told them.
Suddenly the writer and his bitch got bored of writing this story, so their world was destroyed, and the writer and his bitch did it on the school science lab table, during clas, in front of everyone.
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Yes. Random. Review or the writers bitch will cheat on him and he doesn't want that.