So I had this idea, and I hope I wrote it down well enough... It's not a song fic, but it is inspired by some pretty damn good songs :) Please tell me whether to continue this story or not...

SM owns the characters, I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

All credit for the lyrics go to Jonny Craig and Isles & Glaciers.

No copyright infringement intended.

"I left you with one promise.
I hear your heart call my name."

-Jonny Craig

I stood on the stage, gazing out over a sea of nameless faces in this small venue, trying my best to remember why I was here in the first place.

The stage lights hindered my vision, all focusing on one thing…me. I wanted so badly to see if she was present, waiting to hear the songs I wrote for her. I squinted, trying in vain to see past the haze of smoke and darkness for her beautiful brown eyes. I could make out the shimmer of the bottles on the bar, the sheen of sweat on every single kid in the front of the crowd, the cigarette smoke the scene kid in the back was producing.

I saw everything but her.

I took a deep breath, looking down at my worn converse as I fidgeted with my guitar pick, and finally looked up again, ready for this. I looked over this crowd, finally letting the euphoria of the moment take me over. I smirked at the crowd, and I was pretty sure I could hear a few of the women swoon, ready to sing to them the diary of my life.

Tonight, these songs, my heart…it was all for her. And she wasn't even here to witness the display.

I began to sing the first song…

"How far back, can you remember? Did the ice stop your heart? Oh wait, that was me… …I froze to death.
My last words choking your breath… …Do the words still haunt you? Can you secure its claim……I have no soul, no conscience. Floating for one meaning. Three words, I left you with……I left you with one promise. I hear your heart call my name…."

The music trailed off, my last words echoing around the room. If only they knew how true these words were for me…

I tried blocking out all memories of her from my mind at the moment, no good would come from remembering how much I loved and hated her right now.

I looked up, about to finish the set with one last song, the song that meant everything to me, when I saw her. She was back at the bar, my sister and her brother in tow. Oh how beautiful and broken she looked tonight. I couldn't help but be a little satisfied by the single tear running down her cheek. That's right baby, it's all for you…

This last song was for her.

I swung my guitar down, so that it rested against my hips, so that I could grab the mic with both hands. I gripped it hard, nervous for the first time this evening.

"This is the last song; thanks for coming out tonight, you've been an amazing crowd!" I called into the mic, smirking at the girls in front.

"…I never knew what I would do
If anybody tried to take you away…"

I looked straight into her eyes as I sang the rest of the verses, reliving every single moment in my mind as I sang the song.

"…Can we speed up the process, please?
Or show me the one I need…"

The girl of my nightmares, the one that fuels my music, my lyrics, my heart… she was crying as she listened to the songs I wrote for her, and I loved every single tear that fell from her eyes.

"…Cause I would do anything (anything, anything)
Cause love is a selfish thing (Don't care what you think)
And I'll feed off the wounds that bleed
And tear you away from me…"

I must have been a masochist to enjoy seeing the woman I love hurt at the words I've written for her and about her. She must hate me, and rightfully so, I've only been airing out our dirty laundry to the audience, a fact that I was sure they were unaware of.

"…If we die then we die
And I'll sing this buried with youIn the cemetery weather

Violent delight
Live as if we die…

…I need somebody
Somebody crazy enough to tell me
I will love you till we
Till we are buried
Our bodies buried close together

I never knew what I would do
If anybody tried to take you away…"

As I ended the last verse, my eyes bore into her with an intensity that could melt the sun. She had to know what I felt; she had to know how she had broken me. I loved her, worshipped her, and it meant nothing. Nothing.

My love would consume me; burn me up like the phoenix. But as the phoenix rises from the ashes, I would also, creating life in the form of songs. My songs for her.

I walked off the stage, numb as the stage men patted my back and the venue manager gave me my cut of the meager profits. I needed a drink, bad.

I walked out of the back stage, coming nearer to my destination…Alcohol.

"I'll have Jack on the rocks." I called to the bartender as I leaned against the bar, bracing myself as my sister lunged at me.

"Oh my god, you were amazing up there! I can't believe I missed you the last time you were in LA! Wow, loved the new songs." She praised, clearly trying to lighten the mood. "So Eddie, what do you think about you sister starting her own clothing line, you haven't told me what you thought yet…" She asked, clearly trying to get me to speak. I barely noticed the sad brunette behind her, trying to not to seem too interested in what I had to say…barely.

"Don't you think you're a bit on the teeny tiny side to go into fashion little sis?" I asked, knowing that I'd strike a nerve by bringing up her height. She was only 5 foot, pixie like in her features, with short spiky black hair, not exactly what you would expect of a Designer, but if you knew Alice, then you know that she would be the one to change the mold.

"Ha Ha Eddie. One of these days you'll realize how talented I really am. I have to compensate for my height difference somewhere." She said.

"Kind of like the way you compensate with your songs." My old best friend from High school said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"I don't have to compensate for anything, just ask your cousin Rose about that." I smirked at him, awaiting his last smile.

"The prodigal son returns!" Jasper yelled, pulling me in for a quick hug. "We missed you man, how's touring the world treating you?"

"Pretty good man, pretty good. It's nice being part of the indie circuit because I can still play small venues like this and still be able to do what I love without paparazzi." I answered, stealing a glance at his sister, wondering why she hasn't approached me yet.

"Guess who we brought tonight! Bella, come here, come say hi to Edward." My sister called, pulling her over to me. Little did Alice and Jasper know that those songs I just sang were about her and for her.

"Hi Edward." She said quietly, looking down at her own over used converse. I still we still had our shoes in common…

"Hello Bella." I said, realizing that this moment was a lot harder than I thought it would be. You'd think that after 4 years I could stand in front of her without wanting to kiss her and tell her I loved her. She doesn't love you, remember idiot! "It's been a long time. Did you enjoy the show?"

"It has been a long time…4 years to be precise," I thought I heard her whisper. "I got here late, so I missed part of it, but from what I heard it was good."

Good? That's all it was, was good? I couldn't understand why that made me angry, but it did. Maybe it was because I poured my heart out for her on that stage, and all she thought was that it was good...just maybe.

"I'm glad you thought it was good." I snapped, irritated for the way my mind was over analyzing everything she did. Like how at this exact moment she was chewing her lip, which usually meant that she was nervous, or how she blushed every time I looked at her. Dammit, why did she have to do that! Aren't women supposed to blush when they're with someone they're interested in? "Hey Alice, I'm going to head out, I'll see you at home." I said, swallowing the last of my drink.

"But we haven't even celebrated yet?" She pouted as her spiky hair bobbing slightly as she lowered her had in a stance that meant she was pulling out the big guns. Next she'd look at me with those- oh wait, there they are…her sad eyes. Her sad look was guaranteed to give her anything she wanted; it had not failed her yet, until tonight.

"Sorry Alice, I'm tired. You're staying at mom and dad's right? I'll see you there. Bye Jazz, I'm sure I'll see you around, seeing as you are my sister's fiancée from what I hear. "I said, smirking at him.

"Who told you?" Alice cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"Who do you think?"I asked, knowing she knew the answer. "Never tell Emmett anything, unless you want the world to know." We laughed, and I thought I heard a slight giggle fall from Bella's lips as well. "Alright, see you guys later." I said, walking away quickly, intentionally avoiding Bella's stare as I made my way out to the street.

Alright, keep it cool Cullen, stay chill. You survived! Yay. I thought to myself, internally chuckling at how crazy I was at the moment. I was having an internal congrats party for myself… in my head. I walked out from under the venues eave, shrugging as the light drizzle of constant rain fell upon my head. I reached my arm out, trying to hail a cab. I had no such luck in getting one. I stood and waited for yet another cab when I heard light footsteps behind me.

How could my body react this way when I was around her? I didn't even have to see her for my body to know that she was there. My heart raced in my chest, goose bumps raised on my flesh, the metaphorical butterflies swarming about in my stomach. I had to stifle my groan of pleasure as I caught a whiff of her sweet strawberry scent, her favorite shampoo no doubt.

"What are you doing out here Bella?" I asked, still not turning to face her. My face was grim, waiting for another one of her rejections.

"Edward, I….I don't know how to say this…But I have to-," she began, her voice trembling. I turned on her, hostile and desperate in my stance.

"You don't have to say it, I already know that you didn't care for me the same way I did for you Bella, its fine, I get it. You can stop apologizing, I'm sick of hearing apologies fall from your lips." I spat. I knew she was only out here to apologize again, believing she was the reason I left forks in the first place, which is partly true. I told her I loved her and basically she didn't return the sentiment. We weren't dating or anything, but there was something there, something real between us. The night after we lost our virginity to each other, a week after graduation, I confessed my love for her, and the next thing I knew, she was on the first plane to Jacksonville, deciding to attend college over there. I tried calling, emailing, writing, anything to get her to talk to me, but it was no use, she never replied.

No one ever knew about what happened between Bella and I, she was my sister's best friend for Christ sakes, but knowing that she still talked regularly to everyone in our circle, including my parents, except for me, made me realize that she didn't love me back. All she had to do was say so in the first place.

So as I stood there, looking at the girl I loved, wondering if it were tears or rain falling down her cheeks, I couldn't help but be consumed with love and hate for her. God it was confusing!

"Go back inside Bella, people are staring. We wouldn't want them to think this was a lover's quarrel." I said turning away from her, looking back at the one busy street devoid of taxis.

"I wasn't going to apologize…" She said, her voice tinged with a hint of determination. Or was she going to tell me to move on now? Was that it? Or would she tell me what an asshole I've been and say get over it? "Edward…. I love you."

I wasn't expecting that…

Should I continue?... Please read and review :)

Songs are...

Jonny Craig- I Still Feel Her (Pt. III)

Isles & Glaciers- Cemetery Weather