Yet again, another one-shot. This actually used to be one of my stories that I abandoned and didn't finish... so I turned it into a one-shot because it was starting to bug me. Haha. So, here it is, hopefully enjoy. R&R, please!
Disclaimer: Degrassi isn't mine yet.
I can feel the sand underneath my soles, squishing and forming to the shape of my feet. Music is blaring out of someone's truck, and laughter echoes from almost every small group of teens. But I was sitting here by myself, regretting everything while I drank out of this red, plastic cup. Ali practically dragged me here, she wanted me to go so damn bad, and then when I'm here she goes off with some boy. She's been trying to get me out of this depressed state of mind for months, but I just don't have it in me to do anything.
I'm done trying to convince myself that I don't miss him.
It broke my heart to leave him on the hospital bed, it really did. It killed me, but I had to do it.
I tried to trust him. I tried so hard.
My father left me, leaving behind my mother to pick up pieces of his mistakes. KC left me for that pretty blonde girl that has her place in every cliché high school movie you can think of. When all the men in my life keep leaving me in the dust, how was I supposed to trust Eli? How was I sure that he wouldn't twist and morph my emotions and leave me like they did?
I didn't know.
I miss him. I miss his smirks, his witty comebacks, and determination to get what he wants. His wisdom brought out a different side in me that I didn't know was there, and his advice would guide me through anything. I miss his sparkling lily-pad eyes and his rare, broading smiles. But most of all, I miss the way we used to be; with his arm hooked onto my side and that look in his eyes that said everything. Hell, I love his whole being. I love him. I love Elijah Skylar Goldsworthy.
I guess you could say that he was the 'one that got away'. But he didn't get away… I pushed him.
.
.
.
Here I am. At a party where I don't belong, sitting in this squeaky stripped lawn chair, a cup in my hand, watching the fire twist and twirl in the fire pit, wishing he was here. I took a drink from the red cup someone forced into my hand, and winced as the strong alcohol made that familiar burn in my throat. The more I drank, the more the feeling faded. Whether the feeling was the burning of the alcohol or that feeling in my chest whenever I picture his eyes, I can't be sure. I set my empty cup in the sand, pushing the bottom into the graininess so it won't tip over. Past the fire pit, Ali is talking to some guy, and I can sense her flirting from across the beach. I look elsewhere and see Owen walking over to me with a grin on his face and two red cups in his hands.
"Hey Little Edwards. Need another drink?" He said while outstretching his hand to give me a cup. "Y-yeah." I say, and take the cup. He stares at me with an expectant expression, so I take a sip and give him a fake smile. He grins, ruffles my hair, and walks back over to his crowd of cheering, drunk teenagers. I slosh the liquid around in my cup, already inhaling the faint smell of the alcohol. I take a sip, the burning barely there anymore, and my throat feels numb until it passes. The stereo music changes again, a familiar song pounding through the speakers.
You gotta fire and it's burning in your way,
It didn't burn out, but it burns much the same.
And when you told everybody "I'd fall in the flame".
If you love someone, love them all the same.
Oh, if you really love someone, tell them you'll love them all the same.
I sighed. It felt like one of those movie moments, when the music blasts and it sways to every single feeling that's eating you alive. Someone needs to enlighten the world and explain how that always ends up happening, no matter where you are or who you're with, there's always that song coming from somewhere.
"What's wrong?" Someone asks from behind me, and I turn around to see a concerned Adam Torres. His expression sinks as he walks closer and wipes a tear from my cheek. The moisture must've snuck up on me like they always do.
"There's no one here that I can talk to." I quickly cover, and he nods slowly, tapping his finger on the rim of his cup that looks identical to mine. He glances over somewhere, a pointed look on his face before turning back to me. I turn my head to see where he's looking, only to clash with my favorite pair of green eyes, making my head spin from the combination of them with the alcohol. My hand quickly reaches up to my forehead, hoping that that will terminate the sudden lance of pain there.
"Saint Clare drinking? I never though I'd see the day." Adam jokes, breaking the silence within all the noise.
"Yeah, well…" I lost my train of though, wanting desperately to turn back to see the pair of eyes again.
"Well, what?" He questions, and I just shrug and giggle. He gives me an odd look, taking a sip of his drink and tapping his foot on the ground as he inspects me with an amused expression.
"Woah. Someone's a bit tipsy." He commented, making another unexpected laugh to burst through my lips, making me cover my mouth with my hand before laughing once again with wide eyes. I was about to take another sip, but Adam stopped me by my wrist before taking the cup from my hot, shaking hand. I whined, and he shook his head with a small grin as he watched me wriggle in my seat. Even though the alcohol, I still couldn't get those eyes out of my head.
"How's Eli?" I asked involuntarily without thinking, and Adam's ears perked a bit before shrugging.
"He's doing good, with all the therapy and stuff." He answered, waiting for my reaction. I frowned.
"Therapy?"
"Yeah. He has… um, emotional issues." He said quietly, and I nodded, wishing the red cup was back in my hand so I had something to do. I sighed deeply, the familiar stinging feeling in my eyes coming back, and I willed myself to hold back the tears. The closed, and I leaned back in my chair, trying so hard to hold them back.
"You okay?" Adam's voice piped up softly, and I waved my hand in dismissal. He cleared his throat loudly, and I almost opened my eyes, but I knew that if I did, the floodgate would overflow. He was so quiet I thought he'd walked away, but soon I heard the voice that put me to shame.
"What's wrong with her?" I heard Eli whisper.
"She's kind of hammered." He whispered back, and there was silence.
"We are talking about Clare Edwards, right?" I rolled my eyes. Well, at least his sarcasm was still there. It only reminded me of how much I missed it. Adam laughed.
"Yeah. I think she's hiding something." Adam's voice said softly.
"Like what?" Eli questioned.
"Like I'm supposed to know?" He answered, and I heard a light smacking sound, an 'ow' following closely after. Footsteps came closer to me.
"Clare." His voice said, and my heart quickened.
"Yes?" I didn't dare look at him.
"Are you okay?" He asked, and I heard him gulp.
"I'm fine." I said, getting fed up with everyone questioning what I felt like. I hiccupped, my mind feeling a bit foggy. Incredibly, I remembered the cup pressed into the sand at my feet, and I quickly picked it up and downed it until the bottom was in the air. I shook my head quickly before letting the empty cup drop from my fingers, and I heard harsh whispers behind me that I couldn't make out.
"C'mon, Clare-Bear, we're leaving." Adam said, and my eye twitched at the nickname.
"Don't call me that." I deadpanned, some of my words slurring more than others. Arms helped me out of the chair from both sides, and I didn't bother to struggle, the lovely feeling on my right arm from Eli's touch making the conflict seem worthless. My eyes fell into his gaze, and I couldn't bring myself to look away. His eyes were still, no emotions visible under the signature smirk glued to his face. His hair bobbed as he walked, and I giggled before watching it go up and down. He gave me an odd look, before chuckling and fixing it the way that only Eli could. Adam's laugh echoed behind me, and Eli gave him a death glare.
"What, so you're allowed to laugh at her drunkenness, but I'm not?" He questioned, laughing while he raised his eyebrows. Eli smiled, making my eyes quickly switch to look at the thing that I'd missed so much.
"Yes. This is a good example of something that's called a double-standard, my friend." Eli said quietly, chuckling. We stepped over some grass, and we stopped in front of Morty. I blinked tiredly, trying to clear my vision. Much to my disappointment, Eli let go of me to reach into his pocket, and he pulled out a pair of keys. Pretty. I reached for them with an amused expression, and Eli quickly jerked them away, making them clank together while he and Adam laughed at me.
"Whaaat." I questioned in a whiny voice, and they both shook their head in amusement before unlocking the hearse and helping me get in. They stuck me in the middle, not that I minded much.
"What are we doing?" Adam asked, and Eli shrugged while starting his vintage car.
"We can't take her home… and if she went to your place, your mom would flip out. So, I'll drop you off and then she can stay at my house? I don't mind her staying… neither would my parents, but if she was sober, I don't know if she'd think I was taking advantage of her or something…" Eli trailed off.
"Nuh-uh." I disagreed with a grunt, closing my eyes and letting my head hang loose until it fell onto his shoulder, and I couldn't bring myself to move it.
"Okay, sounds good. See you later, man." He bumped fists with Eli and the passenger door shut before the car backed out and kept driving towards his house.
"Eli?" I mumbled.
"Hm?"
"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered out, and he stayed silent for a minute or so.
"Me too." He answered, and I didn't say anything else. Soon, I heard Morty's engine stop, and Eli helped me get out before I tried to myself. His arm was hooked around my side, and I loved it even through the haze of alcohol. I stumbled.
"Woah there. Slower." He told me, and I watched my steps carefully as we walked into his dark house. He flipped a switch, and a bright light flicked on from the ceiling, making that lance of pain return. I groaned, only making Eli laugh. He helped me up the stairs to his room, and when I walked in, I was surprised to see the piles were gone.
"Where'd all your… your stuff go?" I asked him, shielding my eyes from the bright light.
"Boxes." He simply answered while helping me onto the bed, giggling while he rearranged my body into a sleeping position. He pulled the comforter up to my chest before grabbing a pillow and tucking it under his arm, and he turned around.
"Where are you going?" I called out, and he turned to look at me.
"The couch." He replied, and I shook my head frantically, making him smirk.
"Stay." I dragged out longly, and he looked conflicted before turning off the lights and returning the pillow and crawling into the space next to me, two feet or so between us. So gentlemanly. I rolled across the distance until we were touching, and I could hear him laughing softly next to me.
"I'm sorry." I apologized again, and he settled onto his pillow.
"You already said that."
"I know. Because I mean it." I told him, and he stayed quiet, his breath close to my ear as I tried to focus on his face. "I miss you." I slipped out there. "A lot."
"I miss you too." Eli said softly. My heart stuttered loudly in my ears, and I wondered if he could hear it.
"I love you, you know." I blurted quietly, closing my eyes briefly. When I reopened them, I looked up to see him with a pained look on his face.
"Don't say that."
"But I mean it." I argued.
"No, you don't. You're drunk." He stated, making my heart sting a little. He doesn't understand.
"I mean it." I said to him, looking him in the eye to show him that I was telling the truth. He searched deep for a few minutes, looking in every single crevice for any sign of falsity. He smirked a little.
"Well, that's good to hear." He sighed. "'Cause I kind of love you too." He said, a small smile appearing on his face at my content expression. I yawned, the smile still there while the drowsiness started to come over me like a blanket.
"Night Eli." I mumbled, happiness floating around me. "Thanks." I feel his arm hesitantly wrap around my side, and I welcome it by leaning farther into him. And one lyric lingered in my thoughts while I fell asleep.
Oh, if you love someone, love them all the same. If you love someone, love them all the same.
End.
So. There it is. I love that song, it's called Heartbeat by The Fray. PLEEEASE REVIEW, THEY SERIOUSLY MAKE MY DAY!
-Emmy.