Yuuri knew it was going to be a bad day when Donald Trump kicked in his front door.

His apartment was meager, to say the least, just two small rooms stuck together: a bathroom and a living room with a stove and fridge awkwardly shoved in the back. Splayed manga, clothes and tissues littered the dimly lit room. Mr. Trump seemed unfazed by this, however, striking a pointed finger at Yuuri, and roaring "Get your pants on, kid! We're going to make America great again!"
Utterly stupefied from the sofa, Yuuri yelped, knocking the tissue box off the nearby coffee table. "Nande kuso?!" He screeched, rolling off the sofa and hitting the ground with a thud.
"That's right, kid! It's me! President of the U.S! You're coming with me to America!" Trump picked Yuuri up from the ground by the scuffs of his shirt, shaking him with each exclamation.
When he finished, the two just stared silently at eachother for a moment. Yuuri tried not to flinch. "N-Nani-?"
"I'll tell you all about it when we're on my private jet!" Donald promptly let go of Yuuri, who clattered onto the ground with another thud, before spinning round to face his bodyguards. "Incapacitate this man." He said coldly, a jerked thumb at Yuuri.
Yuuri scratched his head on the floor. "Nani watashi..." He groaned, before being kicked repeatedly by Donald Trump's security team.
"Sorry kid! Think of it as compensation for the Pacific War!" The President called over the sound of Yuuri's crunching bones.

Yuuri gasped as he jerked awake. He was upright in a leather chair in a strange lengthways cylindrical room. Next to him, the expanse of the ocean stretched outside a small window. A plane, he quickly realised.

"Glad to see you're awake, darling."

A familiar voice made Yuuri splutter, "V-Victor?"

Indeed, seated opposite him in an identical leather chair was Victor Nikiforov. Victor reached forward to the small wooden table that separated them, picking up a glass of sparkling champagne. "I'd offer you some, but... well, we both know you don't handle your drinks very well."

Yuuri suppressed a blush, instead straightening up. "Where the hell are we?"

Victor paused mid-sip. "...On the American President's private jet."

Exasperated, Yuuri threw up his arms. "Why?!"

With a shrug, Victor just replied, "Don't ask me. I just woke up here a few minutes ago after he broke into my house."

Yuuri felt like he might've exploded had the orange faced president not strode up and taken the seat next to him. A young, elegant Japanese female took a seat next to Victor. As the orange president began to speak in that annoying language Yuuri didn't understand, the Japanese female began to softly talk over him in Japanese. Not talk over him, Yuuri realised, but translating him.

"Good evening, chinks." The young woman spoke evenly, "I hope you realise that the champagne is not complementary."
Victor choked on his drink, the President indeed stared at him before continuing - his rash, throaty voice followed by the delicate notes in the young woman's. "I have called you here today to put a stop to a national emergency."

With a wave from the President, a crew member approached where the four were seated, holding up a poster that detailed a badly drawn picture of Yuuri and Victor kissing, with words that Yuuri recognised to be from the engrish language. The young woman read out the poster's title. "Yuuri x Victor yoai fanfic by yoaifan6969."

Yuuri folded his arms. "Seriously?"

The President continued through the young woman. "Yuri, Ever since you announced that you were straight in season 2, reliable consumers in my country stopped buying animated merchandise, which makes up 75% of the country's economy. What you see now was the last written fanfiction by an American citizen, back in 2018. Without dumb weeaboos buying into our market, the whole of America will sink to a low not seen since the Great Depression."

"So what do you want me to do about it? You can't change my sexuality!" Yuuri protested, although he had a horrible feeling he shouldn't have opened his mouth.

The young woman relayed Yuuri's concern impassively. The President just smiled, his next words even.

Turning back to Yuuri, the young woman repeated, "No. We can't. So we changed your gender while you were unconscious."

Yuuri's face contorted in horror.