It was a blistering cold day in December and the powdered snow fell gracefully on a fiery haired man in his twenties walking down the street. He scratched his nose where his piercing was. He carried bags of presents for his subordinates when they were asleep the thirty-first. He also had presents that were going to be labeled under his name as well.
He walked up the steps to the hideout and stamped his feet on the mat. He took a deep breath and ran into the house screaming.
"AHHHH!!!!" He yelled as the Akatsuki ran after him to see what he got them early.
"We'll get you this year!!!" Hidan shouted, jumping in front of Pain. "'Cause I got a paintball gun!!!"
Hidan laughed and looked around for Leader. "Where in bloody H**l did he go!?" He yelled.
--
Pain and Konan were panting in his room.
"Jeez, what is it with them and getting presents early!?" Pain gasped.
"I don't know! I remember when we were little, we never did that!" Konan protested.
"Well, I gotta put these in the safe." Pain said as he walked over to the safe built in his wall.
"Can I peek at my present first?" Konan grabbed Pain's arm.
"You're terrible!" Pain laughed as he put the presents in his safe. "So much for the good old days."
--
That night after dinner, Deidara, Kisame, Tobi, Hidan, and Itachi walked over to the Great Konoha Mall. The Leader had given them a mission to dress up as Santa and his dwarfs as punishment for trying to sneak peeks at their presents. They were all complaining about this.
"I hope Jashin-sama forgives my sins by participating in this sacrilegious holiday." Hidan scowled. "The only holiday I'll be celebrating this year are the Twelve Days of Judgment."
"What's that?" Tobi asked.
"It's where I spill the blood and guts of everything I see to show what Jashin did after his brother defied him." Hidan said. "And then I bathe in it, to show the world Jashin-sama's power and judgment."
Everyone stared at him. Finally Kisame said something.
"But Hidan, Christmas is celebrated every year here and helps us get closer together." Kisame said. "I know this is your first Christmas with us, but why not try it?"
"Yeah. Get closely related to people who broke out of an insane asylum!" Hidan pouted.
"We're here." Itachi groaned.
They walked into the Santa setup and looked at the costumes.
"A Santa suit, an elf suit, a Rudolph costume, Santa's sack and… A Mrs. Clause suit." Itachi said. They all looked around at each other.
"Who's going to be Mrs. Clause, un?" Deidara said, shifting his eyes.
--
"The straws must've been f*****g rigged!" Hidan crossed his arms as he stood next to Deidara in the Mrs. Clause outfit.
"Like I want to be your husband, yeah!" Deidara growled in the Santa suit.
"Tobi's Santa-sempai's sack!" Tobi smiled.
"No one cares, un." Deidara shot a dirty look at Tobi.
A little boy walked past Itachi in the Rudolph costume and Kisame in the elf costume, (Which was one many sizes too small) and sat on Deidara's lap.
"Ho ho ho, un!" Deidara said under the yellow beard. (to match his hair) "How are you doing little boy?"
"I'm good Santa, but why is your hair blonde?" the boy asked.
"'Cause my husband wants to be a dumb blonde." Hidan laughed at his joke.
"Oh, you're so funny." Deidara glared, and then turned back to the boy.
--
Tobi was alone with Deidara because Hidan got tired of doing this and went to Starbucks instead. Tobi got tired of waiting for Deidara so he decided to speak up.
"Santa, stop kissing the pretty ladies!" Tobi said as Deidara and a brunette broke their kiss.
"And that's what you get for being such a good girl this year, yeah." Deidara improvised. As the brunette walked out, a very ugly girl the exact opposite of her came in.
"I want some of what the last girl got!" she slurped through her braces and started to make out with him. Deidara ran through the mall at full speed with the girl hot on his trail.
He decided to hide in one of the stores. He stood up straight against the wall and began catching his breath.
"Hi." Deidara yelped as he turned to face a little girl. "Are you Santa Clause's helper?"
"Yes." Deidara said.
"Can I tell you what I want for Christmas?" she said.
"Sure." Deidara looked around the corner.
"Ok, I want me and my family have the best Christmas ever!" she smiled.
"Ok." Deidara said.
"Promise?"
"I promise!" Deidara said as he ran out of the store when the girl saw him. The girl smiled as he ran out.
--
When Deidara came back, Hidan was in handcuffs and Itachi was talking to the Mall cop. Kisame and Tobi were listening, but dare not say anything to screw everything up.
"What happened, un!?" Deidara said as he came up to them.
"Hidan was causing trouble in Starbucks, concerning the holiday music." Itachi said calmly. "He of course threatened to sacrifice them to Jashin, and that's when people freaked."
"And your friend is going to stay in jail until his trial." The cop said as he walked away with Jashin.
"Well, what now?" Kisame said.
'I know, un.' Deidara said to himself as he smiled.
--
Hello people! I'm sorry to say, but readers of my Gochikku Hon'ya story are going to have to wait until after Christmas to read my new chapters. I don't own Naruto, but I own Jashin's Twelve Days of Judgment. Be sure to review! Domo Arigato and enjoy!