Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. This particular story does though.

AN: This is a rewrite of a story I started a really, really long time ago. I've not deleted the old thing, as I like to shame myself with the quality of it. And to mourn really, since I can't write with that kind of humour anymore (I'll miss you, self from 2004). Hopefully though, you guys can still get into it and enjoy.

This story a highschool AU and contains:

Slash, copious amounts

Original characters

Swearing, and other delightful misuses of the English language

His Rock Star Good Looks

1. I wish I had pneumonia

Since the start of high school, Tai has devoted his time after school to soccer practice. Soccer, as you might well know, involves quite a bit of running, but usually of the chasing sort (after soccer balls) rather than the running and hiding sort (like, from something extremely dangerous, like a dinosaur awakened from a cryogenic sleep driven crazy by the knowledge that it was all alone in the world with no dinosaur friends and god help it, Lindsay Lohan or whatever; he has great dreams when he falls asleep during science).

At present, he is in the middle of the hiding portion of the running-and-hiding sort of running (honestly, hundreds of bloody classrooms, not one of them unlocked? Why don't the disgustingly exemplary janitorial staff take naps and read skin mags in their closets like every other janitor in town?) but sadly, he and a conveniently unlocked classroom were not meant to be.

"HEY! HEY TAI! HEY OVER HERE!" A voice called out behind him, full of joy and euphoria and sweet little puppies Tai really didn't need to know about.

He could make it, Tai thought a little hysterically, he could outstrip anybody in a run eventually (having a stupid coach who thought thirty laps should be a standard requirement for passing PE unsurprisingly did wonders for one's endurance, even if he did have a rather manly freak out when he couldn't feel his legs for half an hour after the fact), but after the third time Reiji called out he damned his traitorous body for slowing down and his heart for being a weak, pathetic bleeding thing that would rather endure whatever babble came out of Reiji's mouth than hurt his stupid feelings.

In my next life I want to be an asshole, the biggest goddamn asshole the universe has ever seen, he thought, impossibly unkind yet so utterly hopeful and eager. So bloody big and asshole-like I'll come out of the womb with a stylised "arsehole" tramp stamped on my back.

His accursed feet slowed to a stop and pivoted in time to see Reiji, red in the face and stumbling towards him, glowing and disgustingly happy.

"FINALLY!" the black-haired boy wheezed. "Do you-" huff "know how fast-" cough "you run?" he bent over and rested his hands on his knees, panting, as Tai pulled a face and wished he had gone with his instinct to hide behind the bushes when he first saw Reiji approaching, never mind that there was probably some couple making out there already or that he was incredibly allergic to two thirds of Japan's grass.

"Oh Reiji, wow what a coincidence man. What's up?" Taichi slapped a grin on his face and glanced down the empty hallway longingly, wished he were anywhere but in this hallway, maybe ripping out grass and digging out a trench in the dirt behind the North exit, scratching at horrible red rashes and being uncomfortably itchy. Oh, oh, if only. Most of all, he wished he'd caught some horribly fatal strain of pneumonia this morning, instead of waking up stupidly healthy and seeing Reiji's stupidly delighted face beaming up at him when he ran into homeroom thirty seconds before the morning bell rang. He didn't need to ask why Reiji was so bloody happy, in fact he had jumped out of his seat and out the door like he'd unwittingly left a baby with a crazy axe wielding murderer in order to avoid this very conversation.

"Oh. My. God! I've wanted to talk to you all day! You'll never believe what happened to me this morning."

Shit. Shit with a side of mutherfucking why the fuck, I hate myself.

Reiji's face was lit up with happiness, his pale face glowing with pure excitement as he rocked himself backwards and forwards, unable to contain his happy self. Tai couldn't help but smile a little, seeing his often-shy friend so happy. But then he remembered the likely reason for why Reiji was so ecstatic and felt his eye twitch.

Seeing a willing audience, Reiji began his gushing in earnest. "Okay, so you know that guy I told you about, the one you were like, just go for it—" And I regret that, Tai thought, Lord do I regret my stupid big mouth. "—I went up to him and I was so nervous, I mean, he's—" God's gift to mankind? Romeo without Juliet as excess baggage? Blonde? Tai struggled to keep his eye twitching under control. "—so popular, and my god, he's hot as, and yeah, 'cause you told me to go for it, I did it!" He beamed at Tai expectantly.

On the spot, Tai reluctantly pumped his fist. "Yay. Go team." He weakly chirped.

"Oh Tai, he's so perfect! He started hugging me and telling me he was so happy, he couldn't believe someone like me was interested in someone like him god he's so modest and his eyelashes are so long and thick close up, did you know that? And then, this is the best part right, then--"

"And then he gave you an incredibly love sick, secret smile and gave you the best damned kiss of your life right?" Taichi bluntly cut off. If he were a Mean Girl, this is the part where he'd be smacking on some lip gloss and pulling out the phone for some casual sexting.

Seiji blinked. He looked curiously at Tai, a small frown tugging on his mouth. "Wow, you--did I tell you this already? I could have sworn only me and Sei knew about it."

"What? No, I uh, I heard it from someone else earlier." Taichi fumbled. Yes, who did he hear it from now, let him count the ways; hmm, there was Akiko the first term, Kousuke about three weeks after that, Hachi three (two?) days after that, Karin, Shizu, Tamaki, Shiori, at least two other guys on the soccer team he was sure, but he can't remembered if they told him or if it was passed around in the locker room second hand. It felt like Groundhog Day, but instead of everyone losing their memories of the day's events it was instead, a blind eye, a deaf ear and a trail of broken hearts from here to Timbuktu and he was worryingly close to being mechanically sympathetic after Casanova-Bastard finishes with his increasingly gullible friends and standardising his response to two firm downward strokes on the back and an accompanying, "there, there."

"Well uh, good work, congrats, so happy for you-"

"Very happy, thanks." Reiji positively sparkled. "By the way, your coach is a tightarse right? You do know you're fifteen minutes late for practice?" The happy overtaking his brain made it sound as though being late was a grand event, as only one who was never forced to run thirty bloody laps could.

And again, before he was running and hiding (from misguided friends) he was actually in the first category of running (to his clean shirt and cleats) sort of half dressed and strange looking in sport shorts, school shirt and tie. He swore.

"Goddammit! Forgot my cleats in Bio!" He took off again, mentally berating himself for leaving his kit behind in the last class of the day, causing him to leave an opening for Reiji to exploit (granted, Reiji knew where the soccer field was, so either way this day was fucked). He heard Reiji sort of floating after him as he passed the toilets and turned into the science wing; which he could clearly see that here was the place where the janitor had decided, fuck it, and went off to spend some time with his skin mags. He cursed his traitorous feet. You couldn't bloody wait for the corner before deciding to give up you stupid shoes? I'll never wear you again! Which was a blatant lie, he loved these worn in comfy shoes like fat kids liked shoe shaped cakes (a lot; he can confirm that, having been a chocolate eating terror and a six year old).

Opening doors at random, he bolted in and out (last class of the day okay, he follows the herd and hopes for the right place), spotting some wrappers (gum and condoms mostly; also, ew, never walking on that part of the floor again) and abandoned textbooks but no scruffy blue kit with a fraying black strap.

"How can the Captain of the team forget his way around here? Our team is doomed!" Reiji shouted brightly halfway down the corridor, sticking his head into their second science storeroom as he did so. What came tumbling out when he opened the door were not soccer cleats, to Tai's great disappointment. Instead two guys awkwardly stumbled out, neither of who were blonde, thank god (one had no pants though, which Tai had no motivation to investigate, seeing as when Reiji had wrenched the door open suspicious groaning sounds could be heard).

"Kou! Fuyuki! Fancy seeing you lot here. Is Tai's soccer bag on the floor in there with you Kou? No? Okay, I'll let you get back to your oral gratification then." Reiji's unconcerned tone floated through the open door where Tai was frantically ransacking the teacher's desk and finding several post it pads and a tutu, but no soccer kit.

"Ugh, no, no gratification now, mood's all gone thanks." Kou's voice was slightly muffled as Tai moved to a different room, a chem lab, going through all the rows and thinking about whether or not those were the chairs that were so sleep inducing.

"Hey baby, don't say that! I still got some mood for you right here."

There were several light thumping noises after that statement was uttered. Fuyuki was smart, and kept quiet for a while after that, presumably nursing his wounds. Muttering was heard and ignored, as Reiji renewed his much more peaceful search effort as opposed to Tai who had now given up on delicacy and was just banging open doors as fast as he could.

He glanced at the nondescript black wall clock above the doorframe and swore. He jogged to the last door in the hall, flung it hard enough to hear the doorknob make impact with the classroom wall and froze.

As the door made its trip back from the wall, Tai calmly jammed the door back into its locking mechanism and slapped another smile on his face before turning around.

"Well, crisis averted! Haha, here they are, how about that huh? Okay, tell coach I'll be there in a sec would you Reiji?"

"What are you talking about Tai? I'll wait for ya, get your cleats and let's go." Reiji chirped, starting for the door handle when Tai forcibly slammed his whole body onto the door and clung on to it like a wet shirt. That was going to bruise and hurt.

Kou and Fuyuki stopped making out long enough to start looking at him like he was a few matches short of starting a fire but Reiji was much too happy-delirious to notice.

Taichi laughed through his self inflicted pain. "No, go ahead! I insist. I gotta get changed anyway and that room is rank let me tell you, it's like when my first cat died when we were on holidays and we came back to like, two neighbour complaints and the lab next door going crazy hahahah." Belatedly he realised he had made it sound like his kit smelt like dead cat which is gross character assassination and he would demand recompense if only it wasn't from his own stupid mouth.

"Huh." Reiji's was beginning to look a bit suspicious, but his oh-happy-day-I'm-so-happy vibes kicked back in again and he was none the wiser. "Well, okay then! See you tomorrow Tai, have fun at practice!"

"Cool, bye!" Tai waved, finally wincing as he withdrew from the door handle as Reiji skipped around the corner and out of sight, probably receiving a weirdly shaped hole in his back for his troubles. Straightening himself, Tai went up and grabbed Fuyuki, dragging him away despite Kou's protests towards the classroom and opened the door with little enthusiasm.

He was greeted, again, by a half-dressed brunette hastily trying to get his clothes in order, next to Mr. Sunshine-out-of-his-romeo-ass Ishida, who hadn't even bothered to move from his rumpled perch next to Tai's desk (but of course) looking sort of relieved, strangely enough.

Didn't even have the decency to be startled or anything. Prick.

"Shit, Tai, i-it's not what you think." Sei stammered, clothes now somewhat sorted. Tai just rolled his eyes and started for his kit.

"Oh yeah Sei, uh huh. I'm sure it's not. I'm sure I wasn't just thinking about what a little shit you are for making out with Reiji's, for lack of a better term, boyfriend. Reiji, who you are, incidentally, best friends with? Since fifth grade? After the peanut butter incident?"

Sei winced after each pause. He started looking just a little guilty, the repercussions probably hadn't even started sinking in until now. "Uh, well…"

"Or maybe, maybe I was thinking; asshole! After Reiji told that little shit every fucking fantasy he had about wonderboy and he does this? I'm gonna pound his face in!"

Sei hastily backed away, eyes flickering from Tai's face to the door. Taichi rounded the desk Yamato Ishida was sitting on and kicked the legs, prompting Mr. I-sparkle-in-the-sunshine to move off as Tai bent down to retrieve his kit.

"Do you mind?" Blondie growled.

"Hell no." He said bluntly. Even if lasers could shoot out of his eyes, Tai didn't think he could convey how much he didn't care about causing Romeo any form of distress. He dimly heard Jackass mutter in pain and smiled viciously while fishing out his soccer shirt.

He pulled off his black top and heard Fuyuki let off a wolf whistle. He threw a pen off the desk with impeccable aim at Fuyuki's face. "Eyes to yourself."

"But it's a free show! Can't a guy just look?"

Any reply would be muffled by the material pooling around his neck, so he settled for the good ol' one fingered salute. He folded his discarded shirt and started toeing on his cleats. "Listen Fuyuki." Tai said, bringing his cleats onto a chair so he could adjust the laces tightly. "I know you and your pack of dogs want to mount anything that so much as looks like it'll have you, but I want you to know that the next time I have to be the shoulder that gets cried on again? I will neuter you." Tai punctuating that by making a horrible sound zipping up his kit. "We clear?"

"Wow Tai," the classically handsome boy smiled. "You think I'm the leader of the pack. That's hot."

"Hell no." Tai snorted, hoisting his kit on his shoulder and making his way out the door. "I think you'd miss your dick if it wasn't there though." Also, you're the only one here that doesn't make my skin want to crawl off and expire in a corner. He gave Fuyuki a firm press on his shoulder and smiled. "Keep it in your pants, hey?"

He was twenty minutes late, pissed off, and getting to the end of his rope. Perfect for yelling his team into shape and some penalty kick practice. He could taste the satisfaction in the air as he pictured his cleat smoothly connecting with the ball, soaring past the goalie and smacking into the far left corner of the net. His mind now completely focused on the game, he missed Sei leaving the classroom and slowly trailing after him.

*

Back in the abandoned science room, Fuyuki rubbed his shoulder with a rueful grin. "Guy's got a strong grip. Bet that'll be fantastic in bed. And he's got such a nice ass."

Yamato Ishida favoured his lead guitarist with a huff of disbelief. "He might be alright looking, but he's a fucking violent shit."

"Alright looking? Was I the only one looking when he took off his shirt? That boy is fit, And his hips, my god, they're perfect for a guy to rest his hands on. Matt, I swear, a bottle--okay, maybe two bottles of tequila and I am in baby." He paused. "Well, and maybe a shitload of drugs too."

"Stellar." Yamato replied drily. "Who is he anyway." He collected his guitar from where it was leaning against the wall and made his way to the door, gesturing Fuyuki to do the same.

"Tai? Well, he's a nice sort most of the time, you know, the what you see is what you get type. He takes no shit though." Fuyuki chuckled, ambling next to Yamato. "How was what's his face? The brunette."

Yamato made a face. "Ugh."

Fuyuki only had a glimpse of Yamato expression before busting his gut. "Typical." He said, wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes. "You get bored so easy Matt." He heaved a put upon sigh and slung an arm around the blonde boy's neck. "Don't worry, even though you keep breaking hearts and shooting yourself in the foot to feed your creativity, me and the boys still love ya."

Yamato smirked. "Yay team."

For the rest of the trip to Natsu's house where the Wolves' band practice was taking place, Yamato subtlely grilled Fuyuki for more on the violent soccer captain, and with every new morsel of information sent his way, his pale blue eyes lit up brighter and brighter, until he itched for a pen and his lyric book.

He felt a song coming on.

*

"Tai..." Sei pleaded, "You're not going t-tell Reiji, are you? I mean, it's not that big a deal right? You wouldn't want to hurt him over nothing right?"

"And that's what nothing looks like? Your hand stuck down his pants?"

"Okay, so I know it looks bad-"

"No," Tai cut off. "No, don't even- Sei, I couldn't care less if there was a million dollar cheque shoved in his pants," although that would obviously explain everyone's fascination with sticking their hand in there. "You obviously know what you did," pants exploring " and why you did it," hormones "and now I don't care and no, I'm not lying to Reiji for you. I. Don't. Care."

"...So, that's a yes for not telling him right?"

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

"Hey! Captain, at least wait for me to get the balls back to you before you try to take my head off!" Daisuke Motomiya complained. He had the unfortunate task of manning the goal during Tai's turn at penalty kicking.

Tai halted on the follow through of his kick. Instead, he used the momentum to toe the ball onto his foot and began to do some ball control practice, keeping the ball in the air with his body while Daisuke collected the rest, lining them up to pass back to Tai. On the field behind him the rest of the team were doing passing drills, trying to control the speed and trajectory of their balls. One passed close to Tai, prompting him to gently lower his own to the ground and take control of the stray, spotting Ken Ichijouji making his way down towards him.

"Tai, you look like you've eaten something foul." The blue haired boy said, skillfully trapping the ball when Tai passed it to him. "Bad day?"

Before he could say anything to his friend, Coach blew the whistle from mid field. "All right boys, time to clean up! Except you Yagami, don't think I didn't see you waltzing up almost half an hour late. Give me thirty laps and then you can hit the showers!" He blew the whistle again for dismissal.

The rest of the team traipsed off with looks of sympathy, collecting soccer balls as they went. Daisuke clapped him on the back before going to kiss Ken softly and grabbing his boyfriend's soccer ball, adding it to the ten or so in his sack before walking off field.

Tai waited for Ken to stop gazing after Daisuke, stretching out his legs for an oh so fun filled thirty laps. After Ken could bear to tear his eyes away, he lifted an eyebrow at his captain. "So?"

He dolefully stared at Ken from his crouch. "Mate," he whined. "Today is such a bad fucking day."

--End--

If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading (and hopefully, reviewing!) Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions of what you would like to see happen in the story, especially how Tai and Yamato's relationship will unfold. Reviews really influence what I write, plus I will be in a haze of happy delirium just like Reiji. Take care! Sincerely,

Feed Me.