This is based off of Luka's RIP=RELEASE, which you can watch here: ht tp://w ww. you tube .c om/ watch ?v=L0 zDT KWD I8k
Sorry, not the spice PV. I may do that in another chapter. Also, there are many different translations of the lyrics, and even those are vague. ;c
I decided to have this be Luka/Kaito because...I don't know. I don't like Kaito and like the idea of him horribly murdered? 0.o
My fiance has just arrived home. I heard the front door slam behind him. I am no longer alone in our apartment. It wasn't cheap, but it's still the worst I've lived in.
Hmm, to live in. So many meanings to be drawn from that statement. I do not consider this to be a home, just a place where I sleep next to a stranger who calls me by my first name.
Kaito. Soon to be Kaito Megurine. It seems so long ago we decided upon this. I was happy, and so very trusting of him.
Where has he been today? I don't want to know.
"Where have you been today, Luka?" he asks, no kindness in his voice. Only accusation. There is no trust.
I have been here, thinking about our faults and trying not to break down.
"I've been here recording songs for you, Kaito dear." I reply with a cheerful smile. "Doyou want to hear them?"
He won't.
"Maybe later... I've been busy today and I want to have dinner.... ah, did you make anything?" he asks becoming more aggravating to listen to every word he s a y s.
"Sorry, I lost track of time. Do you think the record company will want the songs I've sung about you?" I change the subject, wanting him to ask about them. I sound so fake when I sing of love.
Even he of all people would notice I sing through gritted teeth.
He doesn't respond. He thinks I've been away. I can only wish. Why am I here?
Why did I say yes?
I remember living alone. It was good then, just myself and boyfriend after boyfriend, at my old apartment. It was practically a love hotel. High rent, but I managed. My voice was famous, but not I.
I liked being the anonymous girl behind the legend. And when I tired of a man's company, I sent him away. My emotions were for my songs. Megurine Luka, an inspiration to all genres, the mysterious angel.
Now I'm kept away from public, trapped with this ghost who lies just as I does.
A match made in heaven. A beautiful boy who cheatsandcheatsandcheatsICANFEELIT and a stunning girl who has tired of everyone including herself.
It's true, I'm sick of my own company. My own voice wears my nerves, my reflection taunts me. I'm trapped in someone else's body.
I want to start over, from when I debuted. I want to never talk to anyone again.
But I will become bored, and find a plaything and throw it aside.
I'm such a hypocrite. Why do I do this to myself? I am going to marry Kaito, but he still won't be mine.
I don't want to share. If I am going to be trapped in this cell, he will be too. He should never leave.
He should breathe my presence, adore me, cling to be like a security blanket. I should be the one he runs to, the one in charge.
I want to dominate him, drag my chipped nails down his back, tie him up.
I'm attracted to him, not his personality.
I've been biting my nails recently, and splitting my hairs.
These are new habits for me. I've also had trouble sleeping.
As I lay in the arms of my fiance, I stay away and try not to cry. I feel like I'm a child again, afraid of everything, trapped in a juvenile drama.
My body matured, but maybe I stayed the same? No, I was fine until he proposed.
That ring. Ice blue, with diamonds studded around. It's so sharp.
God knows how many times I cut my hand on it.
I could slit my own throat, my wrists, right now with the thing. I almost want to.
But then Kaito would be happy (IKNOWITHE'DRUNOFFWITHHATSUNE) and he can't be happy.
No, no, no. He must suffer as I do here, crying like a child and worrying for him who I love and hate and want to suffer as I do here, crying like a child and worrying for him who I love and hate and want to suffer as I do here.
I'm so beautiful, a KILLER QUEEN as one of my songs goes. And I'm wasted on him.
He doesn't say he loves me anymore. He doesn't lie as I do. He dodges the question, avoids physical contact except to 'make love.'
I hate it all. I don't want to be touched, so why am I complaining? I don't want his love, I want him and his presence to be mine.
'Never leave, never ever ever. Die with me. You will say it, it's going to be a western wedding.
A public wedding, us as a couple group. A duet at the reception.
ALL I WANT IS FOR US TO LIVE AND DIE TOGETHER. KEEP YOUR RING.'
I don't want your love, Kaito.
They say couples in love can read each other's minds.
We hate each other.
You'll leave me at the first sign of trouble...
So I must take matters into my own hands.
"Luka? Are you okay?" Kaito asks from the kitchen. He almost sounds concerned. Is he noticing how I'm rotting away here?
"You're really quiet today." he remarks, striding into the living room. So handsome, so beautiful. No wonder so many girls are falling over him as I had.
He won't leave me.
"Kaito." I say, looking down.
He doesn't know what to say. I don't need to say anything.
"I love you." I whisper, jumping to my feet, grabbing his throat, gripping my ring.
He doesn't even scream. It's over in an instant. His body bleeding on the floor, mine above him, staring at him.
Yom, such sweet tears of his. Salty foods have always appealed to me.
Ah, what to do now. The lovely Luka is a killer. The tabloids will love this.
I cannot live in that shame. Well, I can, but I don't care for conditions of most jails.
I thought I'd feel a little remorse now, but I've been wrong my whole life. Why change now?
His eyes are even more beautiful when they're glassy like this. Like a doll's.
Oh, my ring is ruined. The blood has dried. So unattractive.
I'll have to cut my hair too.
Why bother, now that my future is sure? I'll just think I'll take a nap or something. By myself.
How wonderful it feels to be able to say that.
Hey, look, the calendar has news for me. How sweet. Kaito drew a heart.
Valentine's Day.