In the heart Family

by AnonLex

New Characters Holly Heart her Brothers, Dennis Captain Black Adder Nephew, Jackie 1 and Jackie 2, It is Would war 2 15 year old Holly whats to fight alongside Captain Black Adder and his man While her School friends evacuate to the North France meanwhile Lord Flash-heart is training her three older brothers to be pilots of the Busty Lady that to be called the Twenty mins

1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Fancy seeing the daughters and nieces of the air force been sent away to a safe location elsewhere, said Baldrick yeah said Dennis all of them with their posh suitcases and trunks full of their clothes as they walk gracefully to the train station so sweet, what utter nonsense just because they have money to splash about the place they could afford to send them to France and parts of the commonwealth as an evacuation, said Captain Black Adder reading the newspaper I wish I had money to send my sister away on a posh evacuation I did not know you had a sister Baldrick; said Dennis yes her name is Alice Is she the one with the lazy eye and limp said Captain Black Adder yes; said Baldrick and I love her to bits I have a sister do you Dennis yes her name is Ruth and she is a doll, all the men in my village like her specially one man in general called Oliver who is the son of a local celebrity in my home village, what is this celebrity name Sam Buck fizz; who is he said Baldrick let's just say he's the Flash-heart of the village said Dennis does he parade the streets saying how he is oozing with sex appeal and can make anything have an orgasm; said Baldrick; he's not that kind of man thank god, said Captain Black Adder the last thing I want to witness is another Flash-heart frolicking around wartime Britain; what my uncle means is that Sam Buck fizz is tamed as a Red Cross rescue dog;

A 15 year old girl wonders into the trench Captain Black Adder looks up he puts down the newspaper are you Captain Black Adder; she said yes madam may I help you the name is Holly why are you dressed as a boy? Said Dennis that is none of your business I want to join you and your men in defeating the enemy, Captain Black Adder Baldrick and Dennis laughs Holly pulls out a pistol and fires it in the air, Dennis Baldrick and Captain Black Adder get down on the floor; when did you learn to fire like that? Said Captain Black Adder let's just say I am a pro when it comes to good shots, where are your parents said Dennis they had to go where; said Baldrick their separate ways you see my father was a drunk and my mother was a nervous wreck of madness due to my father's infidelity affairs said Holly, do you have any aunties and uncles said Captain Black Adder just my uncle Flash–heart, beg your pardon said Baldrick in shock don't make me repeat his name snapped Holly I did not know that loser had a niece, said Captain Black Adder my uncle is not a loser he is a hero and I will do anything to follow in his footsteps; how are you going to do that? said Dennis by joining your men in beating up the enemy that is ripping this country into shreds, well she sounds optimistic maybe we should let her said Baldrick; are you all mad said Captain Black Adder we can't let a girl fight alongside us, and why not said Holly for two reasons one you are not a male, and two what if your uncle; Holly points the pistol at Captain Black Adder's forehead don't make me blow your brains out!

Miss Holly would you like something to drink, said Baldrick lemonade with crystal clear ice, we only have tea and coffee that's fine said Holly would you like some milk, said Baldrick is it skimmed, full fat said Dennis I only take skimmed it gives me strength Holly walks over to a chair at the corner of the trench she sits down and puts her feet up on the table do you mind getting your feet off the table; said Captain Black Adder; Holly breaks wind Nasty Girl! Said Dennis better out than in so what is the first task besides killing the enemy force with our bear hands until their brains come out; said Holly there is no first task now leave before your uncle comes looking for you said Captain Black Adder, he's too busy training my brothers over at his flying headquarters; That show off has his own flying headquarters said Captain Black Adder oh yeah said Holly called the busty ladies, I thought it was called the Twenty minutes said Baldrick he must have changed the name anyway enough about my uncle let's get down to business.

Come on girls single file said a smartly dressed woman walking over to the front of the carriage followed by a line of girls opening the train carriage doors they climb into the train and sat down I hope where we going is nice, it's France the country of beauty and love said Fiona you really believe that it's dirty and the men are hairy and smelly and they eat frogs and horse meat, why do you have to be such a negative person Victoria, she's just jealous because she is ugly and men find her as a nagging pain said Jessica don't make me slap you! Said Victoria I wonder if the famous Flash-heart is going to be over at France to greet us said Christina I doubt he will once he and his men have taken down a couple of German spies said Hellen there are German spy's relax Angelica they better not follow us otherwise we are done for there is nothing worse than a German spy looking at us young ladies as meat for sexual pleasure purposes within their plot to invade this great country of ours the conductor blows his whistle the train begins to move here we go France here we come said Jill, farewell wartime England see you soon oh don't cry Kimberly just think how much fun you will have over at France said Becky; But it's not my country I prefer Fish and Chips then frogs and horse meat you forgot Toad in the hole Shepherd's pie Bangers and Mash and Spotted dick, why is it called Spotted dick? It dates back to the great plague era when rats roamed the streets of London Rats I hate them it reminds me of the time I went to Africa; so many of them living in mud hut houses and the way they talk rude uneducated beans with no morals of respect or manners why are you looking at me and saying that said Jane twenty-seven there is a girl missing what do you mean there is a girl missing; said Heather;

Meanwhile General Melchett and Captain Kevin Darling were sat around a large dining room table I hope my sister is okay, I am sure she is fine said General Melchett; I mean France is a long journey for a an evacuation said Captain Darling how old is your sister may I ask; she's just 15 and yet she is going to be smothered with expensive French perfume, lavish day and night French attire and learning their native language and eating there frogs and horse meat dishes; well at least she will get a glimpse at Lord Flash-heart and his busty lady flying squad said General Melchett; I thought it was called the Twenty minute yes but you know dear Flash wants a name that will suit his charm and charisma Busty Ladies sounds like something you see over at the red light district, not that I have been to the red district I just heard of it; are you sure said General Melchett, of course I am sure just then the telephone rings Captain Darling picks it up hello; oh Lord Flash-heart my jeep has broken down I need a replacement well I am sure General Melchett will be delighted to give you a replacement jeep make sure it's a 5 seater because I am carrying an extra load; said Lord Flash-heart's voice on the telephone I will make sure General Melchett gets you are five seat jeep, said Captain Darling give my regards to his sister for the lovely banquet that she did for me and my men last Christmas; I will Captain Darling puts down the telephone; who was that? It was Lord Flash-heart he requires for a five seater jeep a five seater jeep; said General Melchett did he ask why? He said something about carrying an extra load okay I will send Jackie 1 with the jeep the Nigerian one or the Polish one? Does it really matter; as a matter of fact it does Jackie 1 is not so keen on taking a jeep to a man that labels black women as housekeepers for the rich and the polish one is just too nice to be driving a big jeep around the war grounds; said Captain Darling well someone has to drive the jeep over to Lord Flash; No, no oh come on darling there is no way I am driving the jeep over to Lord Flash-heart and while you do that give this to him what is it? General Melchett taps the side of his nose with his finger, oh I see now go darling before Lord Flash gets cross yes sir; Captain Darling gets up from the large table and walks out from the dining room as he walks out Jackie the Nigerian one runs into the dining room; General news spread a German spy has just been located on British soil what! Said General Melchett taking out a pistol from an open drawer where! over at the west side she said start up the Land Rover and ask Jackie 2 to inform the firing squad yes sir; said Jackie as she turns and walks out from the dining room those Germans better not have claimed that plot of land said General Melchett, Jackie walks fast along the corridor over to a door she opens it and walks into an office inform the firing squad this is urgent what is it said Jackie 2 a German spy has be located over at the west side, what is with that pink letter it's a love letter from you know who or please; said Jackie 1 the only thing that man want's is your body and vital virgin regens is there something you are not telling me? just call the firing squad yes miss Jackie said Jackie 2 picking up the telephone she begins dialling, hello I would like the extension code number to the firing squad office thank you a telephone rings a tall young man picks it up hello Lieutenant George speaking? Hello Jackie how are you A German spy has just been located at the west side of British grounds and I have been told to inform you of it okay; said Lieutenant George can I ask you one small question did you get a pink letter? Yes said Jackie 2's voice on the telephone good so what's your answer yes or no? Telephone cuts off hello Jackie he puts the telephone down don't worry George there are plenty fish in the sea said a man.