Kendall knocked on the door to Logan's house. He wasn't at school today, he hadn't answered any of his calls and no one had heard from him today. He played with the door knob, revealing that the door was unlocked. "Logan?" He called out.
No answer.
He went upstairs to his friend's room. He looked around. There was a crumpled up piece of paper on the floor. Kendall reached down to pick it up and smoothed it out. The writing was shaky, but it was unmistakably Logan's.
I'm sorry, but I'm done. It's time for me to end things. I hope you all understand. - Logan.
Kendall's stomach flipped. His legs felt like jelly and he couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. Was Logan about to... kill himself? The words on the letter finally sunk in and Kendall snapped back into reality. Questions started to flood his mind. Where was he? When did he write the letter? If he'd written it awhile ago, Logan could be- No! Kendall thought. Stay positive. He bolted out of the house and hopped onto his bike.
He rode around for twenty minutes. He rode nearly to all of the places that he thought Logan would ever go to. Defeated, he pulled over near an abandoned bridge. He rested his head on the handle bar. He'd failed. He thought that maybe he'd be able to save Logan, to save someone's life, but he was wrong. Maybe if he had done something sooner or figured out that Logan was suicidal, then he wouldn't be in this mess. What kind of a leader was he? He was supposed to protect his friends. Instead, he was completely oblivious while one of them was hurting so badly to the point that he wanted to kill himself. He was such a horrible friend. Logan probably hated him.
Kendall glanced up. There was a figure standing on the bridge. Even though the sun was setting and it was foggy, he could tell they were about to jump. It took a moment for this to dawn on Kendall. The next thing Kendall knew, he was sprinting wildly towards the bridge. The person took a step towards the edge and was about to step off, but Kendall wrapped his arms around his waist. He yanked the shorter boy away from the edge.
"Kendall! What are you doing?" Logan yelled.
"What are you doing?" Finally Logan looked up at him. His eyes were red and watery. The brunette boy simply stared at him. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but closed it again. Finally, he spoke up.
"I don't want to live anymore. I'm worthless. I'm not good enough. I'm a horrible person." Logan's voice wobbled and cracked as tears streamed down his face.
"What makes you think that?"
"E-everyone says it. . . you've seen the kids at school. They-They all hate me." Kendall gaped at him. He was stunned. He never took the time to realize how much he had been affected by this. Logan always seemed to shake off the insults and ignore the glares. Now that Kendall knew he was simply hiding the pain and suffering in silence he felt sick.
"Logan. . ." He paused. He didn't know how to go about comforting him. He couldn't think of anything to say to him.
"Don't tell me they're just jealous of me or that it gets better. I know that they are right. Things would be better off without me." Logan's crying picked up more and more until he was sobbing. Kendall held him and waited for his sobs to cease.
"No, Logan, that isn't true. I know you might not believe me right now, but they are wrong. You are one of the best people I've ever met. You're the smartest person in our grade. You're funny. You're nice to everyone. There's so much more that I'm not even naming. I promise you, it does get better. I just want you to be around to realize that."
"You promise it gets better?"
"I promise."
Kendall helped Logan up and two of them headed to Kendall's house.
Later, the two of them were in Kendall's room because Logan wasn't quite ready to face his family or anyone else yet. They stayed that way until dawn. Logan laid on his bed, venting all of what he was feeling. And Kendall listened, because that's all that he could do for him. Listen. And that was okay.
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