"What do you mean, 'I forgot'?! You know damn well that you /chose/ to get drunk instead of going to the store!" Marisol yelled at her boyfriend, Gilbert. The two of them had been arguing quite a lot lately, and they were both considering a break up.
"I didn't get drunk! I just went to the bar to say hi to mein brüder!" Gilbert yelled back at his girlfriend.
She rolled her eyes."Oh, sure! Being the potato bastard into this! Idiota! Like that'll make me sympathetic! Ludwig is always to blame, isn't he?! Of course! Cause he's a mother fucking-" she stopped herself. "I'm sorry. I mean /potato/ fucking German!"
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Gilbert stepped closer to Marisol and loomed over her threateningly.
She was unaffected, though. "You know damn well what I'm saying! All you potato fuckers care about is beer and getting drunk! So it's only natural that you two would meet up at a bar and get drunk!"
"Really?! That's what you think about us? Fine!" Gilbert stomped over to the door and grabbed his coat. "Since all I care about is beer, I'll go and het drunk at the bar the rest of the day!" He opened the door and walked though, but before he slammed it shut, he yelled, "I'll probably have hot and wild drunk sex with random strangers!" Then he slammed the door.
Marisol ran over to the couch in the living room and fell down into it, her face was pressed into the cushions. She began to sob loud and hard.
"He doesn't even care about me!" She cried. Her screams were muffled by the couch.
Over at the bar, Gilbert was also feeling extremely bad. Ludwig was still there, and he was baffled to see his older brother walk back into the bar twenty minuets after he had left all cheery, and then turn into something this pathetic and broken.
Gilbert sat down on a bar stool next to his brother and did a face-bar. "My life fucking /sucks/!"
Ludwig took another sip of his beer and sighed. "Mari?"
Gilbert lifted his head and looked at his younger brother. "No, our sister Winifred. YES MARI!"
Ludwig put up his hands. "S-sorry!"
Gilbert sighed and his his head against the bar again. "Don't be. It's not your fault."
"I...I wish I could say something or do something, but...I-I don't-"
"It's okay. You haven't made your move yet on Feliciana, so you're not dating and therefore have no idea what I'm going through. I understand." He lifted his head and rested it instead in his hands with his elbows against the bar. "Right now isn't the best time for you to make a move anyways. I'm sure that Marisol is tell Feli all about how horrible Germans are. /God/, she hates me."
Ludwig raised his hand to get the bartender's attention. "Hey, can we get another beer over here?" The man nodded and got Gilbert a beer.
He took a huge gulp of it and looked at his brother. "Thanks man."
"Hey." Ludwig placed his hand on his brother's back. "You drink as much as you need, brüder. I'll pick up the tab."
"This is gonna cost you a fortune."
"It's worth it."
Just then, a man with striking green eyes and ruffled blonde hair decided to place his arse on the bar stool next to Gilbert.
"Relationship issues?" He asked in an unmistakeable British accent.
"That's none of your business!" Ludwig snapped. The Brit jumped a bit at his forceful tone.
Gilbert raised his hand. "I can handle this, brüder." He turned to the emerald eyed man. "What do you care?"
"I do believe that have a solution for you~." His emerald eyes sparkled.
"Not interested." Gilbert looked away from the man but he pulled his head back to face him.
"Seriously, I'm pretty sure that I can help you."
Gilbert laughed. "And what makes you think that?"
The Brit smirked. "Can I tell you a secret?" Gilbert shrugged, and the man continued. He grabbed Gilbert's shirt collar and pulled him close. The Brit moved his lips close to Gilbert's ear. He whispered, "I'm a wizard."
The man let go and Gilbert pulled back and blinked. "Yeah, sure." He sipped at his beer. "Just leave me and my misery. I don't need your salt in my wound."
One of the Brit's thick eyebrows raised. "Don't believe me?"
"Of course not!"
The blonde leaned close to Gilbert so that their eyes were next to each other. He pointed to the bartender. "See that man?"
"What about him?" Gilbert shoved the British twit away.
"Watch." Gilbert half heatedly watched the bartender. The Brit wiggled his fingers on one of his hands, and a second later the glass that the man was holding lifted up into the air and began floating above the bartender's head. He stared at it in disbelief with a face as white as snow. He tried to grab it, but every time that he tried to reach for it, the Brit's fingers wiggled and the glass went higher. Pretty soon, the blonde lost interest and decided to lower the glass so the bartender could reach it. Once he grabbed it, the Brit snapped his fingers and the male was turned into a female. He screamed, and with another snap a second later, he change back into a male. The poor bartender's face was too white, and he stumbled backwards, dropping the glass that shattered to the ground. People around him, including Ludwig, were all looking at the man like he was certifiably insane.
Gilbert's face was just as white as the bartender's. "Holy shit..." He breathed.
"No one saw that expect you, me, and the bartender," the Brit whispered. "Everyone else only saw him reach wildly in the air and scream and drop the glass."
Gilbert turned slowly and stared at the blonde, mouth wide open.
He chuckled. "Believe me now?"
Slowly, Gilbert nodded, mouth still open. After he had found his voice and regained the confidence to speak to the man, he asked him, "H-how can you help me?"
The Brit chuckled once more. "You just leave that to me." He paused. "But first, I'll need to see a picture of your lover and I'll need a name."
"Um, y-yeah." Gilbert quickly searched for his wallet, honored to be in this wizard's presence and wanting to fulfill his wishes as soon as possible. He pulled out a small photograph of Marisol and handed it to the blonde. "H-here. Her name's Marisol Vargas."
He studied the picture carefully, then handed it back to Gilbert. "Thank you. And...what's your name?"
"Gilbert. Gilbert Beilshmidt."
The wizard stood from his bar stool and bowed. "Well Gilbert Beilshmidt, there is no reason to fret any longer. Arthur Kirkland, the finest wizard in Britain, is at your service." He stood up straight. "You two should be understanding each other in no time." And with that, the Brit strode out the door.
"Damn...Gil, did you see that-" Ludwig stopped one he turned around to look at Gilbert and averted his gaze from the bartender. "Where'd that British guy run of to?"
"I don't know." Gilbert, with a shaky hand, took a sip of his beer. He swallowed it, but the bottle suddenly fell from his hand and shattered on the ground.
Gilbert felt an excruciating pain in his skull. He pressed both of his hands up against the sides of his head and fell to his knees to the ground. He yelled in pain, it was so intense that he actually expected to see remnants of his skull resting in his hands when he removed them. He yelled out again as his head began to throb. Any minute now he expected his whole head to just explode and for him to die. Death. Yes, death. Death sounded much better than this pain. It was excruciating, like someone was drilling into his brain with a jackhammer. Gilbert yelled out one last time, and this was the loudest scream of pain yet.
All of a sudden a deafening ring filled his ears to the point where that was all he could hear. He didn't hear Ludwig calling his name anymore nor did he see him kneeling down in front of him. His entire vision had turned white. Gilbert fell flat on the floor, unconscious and limp.
Gilbert awoke sometime later; he wasn't sure how long it had been. He looked around and saw his house. His living room, to be exact.
'Huh...I wonder who brought me here,' Gilbert thought to himself. He was laying on his back on the carpeted floor, so he attempted to stand up. But as soon as he did, he felt an unusual amount if extra weight on his chest. And he noticed that there wasn't anything between his legs.
Gilbert looked at his body and almost fainted a second time. This was Marisol's body, in Marisol's clothing. Gilbert shot right up.
"HOLY SHIT!" He yelled. Gilbert threw his hand over his mouth as he noticed that this voice wasn't his either. It was Marisol's. Gilbert started to freak and so he screamed Marisol's womanly scream until he was out of breath.
Once he was done screaming, Gilbert frantically began pacing and freaking out in his girlfriend's beautiful Italian accented voice. "Holy crap, holy crap! Oh my fucking God! What the hell happened?!" He gasped. "It was probably that wizard's fault! Damn you Arthur Kirkland! Holy crap, holy crap! What if I'm stuck in this body forever?! OH MY GOD!"
Gilbert placed his hands above his breasts and took deep breaths. "Okay, okay. Calm down. Try to see the bright side of this...uh...uh..." He squeezed his eyes shut.
'Come on, Gilbert! Think of the bright side so you don't go insane!' He frantically thought to himself.
Suddenly his eyes popped back open. "Boobs!" He yelled. "Yes! I have boobs!"
Gilbert looked down and saw the humongous D-cups. He smirked and clenched them tightly. Gilbert gasped at first, seeing as he grabbed them too tight. He released himself some and slowly began to massage them. Gilbert decided to imitate his voice and use hers as he massaged his breasts.
"Oh, Gilbert~" he said with Marisol's voice.
"Oh, Mari~" Gilbert tried the best he could to turn Marisol's voice into his awesome deep one. It wasn't exactly perfect, but it'd have to do.
"Gilbert, squeeze me harder! Yes Marisol, I will. Oh, Gil! Yes! More! Marisol, you are so amazing during sex. Gilbert, you're such an awesome manly man...let's have babies!"
Gilbert heard a glass cup fall and shatter on the ground. He spun around, hands still on his boobs, and saw poor Feliciana's horrified, traumatized face. She stood there frozen in shock and fear at what she had just witnessed her 'sister' do.
"Uh..." Gilbert started nervously. "Well, this is awkward."
Slowly, Feliciana began to back out of the room. She took three steps before turning on her heel and bolting off, screaming.
Gilbert sighed at plopped down on the couch. He began to think about the real Marisol, and where she was. Then it hit him. If he was in Marisol's body, then Marisol was in his body. Oh God! No one but Gilbert has enough awesomeness to contain his awesome five meters and to keep his awesome self cool and collected! She was going to make him look like a total weirdo! And inside a bar in front of all his friends! Damn, was she gonna get it...
Marisol blinked open her eyes after going through the same excruciating pain that her boyfriend had been in. She rubbed her head and winced. She tried to stand, but cut her hand on the broken glass nearby.
"Ow! Mother fu-" she froze when she heard her boyfriend's voice instead of her own. "Gil-" She tried to call to him, but froze once more as she realized that the voice was coming from her mouth.
Marisol panicked as she looked around frantically and saw everyone at the bar that Gilbert most likely knew staring at her in shock and horror. She began to panic as she noticed how close Ludwig was to her face and how he was touching her shoulder.
"Brüder! Are you-"
"GET OFF OF ME!" She yelled at him in her boyfriends voice. Ignoring the glass around her, she shoved Ludwig away with as much force as she could as stood up.
Marisol looked at her hands, amazed at her new found strength. Then she saw the coat sleeves. And the rest of the outfit. It was Gilbert's. She didn't have boobs, either, but there was something between her legs. She screamed until she could scream no more as she realized that she was now in her boyfriend's body.
"Gilbert! What the hell is wrong with you?!" The bartender yelled.
"N-no! I'm not- I-I'm Marisol!" She tried to make these idiotas come to their senses, but it was hard to when she was using Gilbert's voice and was in his body.
Ludwig tried to reach out to his 'brother' again, but his hand was only slapped away.
"Don't touch me!" Marisol shrieked.
"Gil, I think you've had to much to drink," he said calmly, trying to calm Marisol down.
"What are you talking about? I didn't drink at all!"
"Yes you did!" He pointed to the broken glass on the ground. "That's yours!"
Marisol stared at the glass that had cut her hand, which was still burning by the way. What had happened to the point where she was in Gilbert's body, and where was he?! Was he in her body?! Holy crap! The room started spinning, and she placed her hand to her forehead and stumbled backwards a bit.
"Do you want me to drive you home?" Ludwig asked.
"No!" Marisol snapped. "I can get there myself!" She ran out the door and to the car Gilbert had driven here. Ludwig followed.
Marisol searched for the keys son both his coat and jean pockets, but found nothing. She pressed her face to the widow and saw the keys laying in the driver's seat.
"That retard!" Marisol yelled. "He locked the keys inside! Damn..."
"I can still give you that ride, brü-"
"I told you, I don't need a ride! And stop calling me 'brüder'! I'm Marisol!"
From there she ran home. That was all she could do, since the car was locked from the inside and Ludwig was out of the question. So she ran. Marisol ran and ran until she reached home. Little did as know that Ludwig had followed her...
Marisol burst open the door to find herself sitting on the couch and sighing.
"What the fuck?!" She yelled.
She saw herself turn around as stand up. "Marisol! ...? It's me! Gilbert!"
"Gilbert!" They ran towards each other and looked the other up and down.
"Gott, it's so unnatural to see yourself..." Gilbert breathed.
"Shut up!" Marisol snapped. "And don't speak German in my voice, it sounds weird!"
"You wanna know what's weird? Being yelled at by yourself."
Marisol ignored him and shook her head. "How the hell did this happen?! Why am I in your body, and...how?!"
Gilbert looked as though he was about to speak, but was cut off.
"Sorry, that was my mistake," came a British voice. Both spun around to see a scruffy blonde with emerald eyes sitting on their couch.
Marisol jumped back a few feet. "W-wha? Who are you?!"
No one answered her question. Gilbert grabbed the man by his shirt collar and pulled him up, their faces extremely close. "What the fuck did you do, Arthur?!"
"Arthur?!" Marisol exclaimed. "You know this man?!"
"He's Arthur Kirkland, the son of a bitch who switched out bodies and is gonna die!"
Arthur chuckled. "I think you mean 'son of a witch'~!"
Marisol blinked. "W-wha...?"
"Don't crack wise!" Gilbert spat in his face. He shot his fist up, attempting to jab Arthur in the stomach, but a second later he disappeared and reappeared next to Marisol. She turned and almost fell over when she saw him. She did yelp, though.
"Holy fuck!"
Arthur bowed before Marisol. "Arthur Kirkland, Great Britain's finest wizard, at your service~!"
"What the hell do you mean, 'finest wizard'? You just said that you made a mistake!" Gilbert put his hands on his womanly hips. "Idiota! Solo onda tua bacchetta o qualcosa del genere e trasformare noi tornare a normale, si Dio maledetto bastardo!" He suddenly threw his hand over his mouth. After a moment of awkward silence and absurd stares from Marisol, Gilbert peeled his hand off. "T-that wasn't...uh...h-how did I...know that...?"
Arthur's face suddenly became very serious. "It's already started..."
"What? What's already started?!" Marisol's face was full of worry and her eyes were wide.
Arthur turned to her, his face grim. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't know that it would happen this quickly, I...I thought there'd be more time to fix my mistake..."
"What do you mean?!" Marisol shrieked.
"Usually, I can change you back to yourselves whenever I wanted to, but now it'll be hard. Really hard. You two have already started the transformation." When Marisol and Gilbert each gave Arthur puzzled looks, he explained. "If someone is in another person's body, then they are a part of that person and understand them better. But after a while, they stared /becoming/ that person. They will remain forever trapped in the body, unable to leave even with the help of the greatest magic in the world. My original plan was just a tiny spell, one that would make you each understand each other's emotions and feelings. Cheesy, I know. But the spell...I must've did something wrong, because you ended up switching bodies. I was going to change you back as soon as it happened, but I thought that this could actually be better. Usually, the transformation won't happened for a week or so. But it's started within an hour." Arthur began to pace the room frantically. "This is bad, this is bad, this is bad..."
"Can't you just turn us back now, before it gets too serious?" Gilbert questioned.
Arthur shook his head, his blonde hair quivering. "No, it's not that simple. This is going to sound /really/ cheesy, but it's what has to be done."
"What?" Marisol asked in a pleading tone.
"You see, this spell was originally /for/ relationship issues. Wether romantic or not. It was supposed to give one a taste of what it's like in the other shoes. The spell eventually wears off on its own once the two have rebuilt their relationship. It won't go away, but it'll postpone the transformation. By that time I should be able to reverse the spell and send you each back to your own bodies." Arthur stopped pacing and faced them. "So you two need to get your love life back on track or else you're doomed."