Warning-Not for children, people who get offended too easily or seventeen year olds who squeal every time they see an Elmo t-shirt and make the rest of us physically sick.

A/N-This fiction took me six months to write!

I would like to dedicate this first chapter to Dona, my beta reader, Andrew and Cristy who just loved the story and Kat who really wants to read this story.

I do not own any of these characters nor am I using them for profit.

Thankyou to everyone who reads and reviews this!

With love!

Wax

A Law and Order SVU/Sesame Street crossover.

Scene 1.

In the criminal justice system sexually based offences are considered especially heinous. The dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.

Doink Doink!

123 Sesame street, 7.20 am, Monday morning

*Cookie monster leaves his apartment building to put out the trash. He finds Big Bird lying, strangled in the garbage alley. *

Cookie Monster-Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Cue theme music. (Duh nuh duh nuh nuh nuh duh nuhhhhhhhhh.)

*Comes back in to the same alleyway. Olivia's walking towards a old balding cop who is standing scratching his head. *

Olivia-*Flashes badge at other cop* Detective Benson. SVU. What's going on?

Cop-Man, strangled, early thirties, eight feet, two inches, yellow. Goes by the name of Big Bird. Found by his neighbour, Cookie, this morning.

Olivia-What makes you think it was sex crimes?

Cop-Anal penetration. Something's lodged up there. Looks like some sort of wax object. Maybe a crayon?

Olivia-Time of death?

Cop-Around 1 am?

Olivia-Thanks.

Elliot-*Runs up to Olivia* What's up?

Olivia-Man strangled with a crayon up his bum.

Elliot-Fuck. What the hell was that for?

Olivia-I know no more than you buddy. I'm gonna go talk to the person who found the body. *Walks over to Cookie Monster, who's wrapped in a blanket. * Mr Monster, I'm Detective Benson. I understand you found the body?

Cookie-*Sobs * He's not no body! He was my friend. Me and Big used to have jams in the garage and eat cookies. Now he's gone. *Cookie reaches for a cookie * I'm sorry Miss. It's just hard you know? I never expected to see him dead. Especially not as the one finding the body.* Cookie cries even more and reaches for another cookie*

Olivia-I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. Did you know if anyone held a grudge against Big?

Cookie-Well there was Oscar. But he has a grudge with everyone.

Olivia-Where can we find Oscar?

Cookie-He lives in a garbage can. Corner of Sesame and ABC.

Doink Doink!

Oscar the Grouch's Garbage Can, Corner of Sesame Street and ABC Square.

Elliot-Hello, we're looking for Oscar the Grouch.

Oscar-Whaddayou want?

Olivia-We want to talk to you about the murder of Big Bird.

Oscar-Yeah. What bout it?

Elliot-We heard you have a grudge against Mr Bird.

Oscar-Yeah? Little shit kept throwin' his trash 'nside my can. I try keep the place clean then little barstards throw gum n shit 'nside my can.

Olivia-Where were you last night?

Oscar-Pub round the corner. Man named Count runs the place. Good guy. One of the few on this street. Stayed til bout 2, 3? Sloshed by the time I got home.

Elliot-Can someone vouch for you?

Oscar-Yeah. Was playin' cards wid Bert n Ernie. Oh n Count kick me out.

Doink Doink!

Count Von Count's Bar, 43 Sesame Street

Munch-Excuse me. We're looking for a Count Von Count?

Count-Yessssssssssssss.

Fin-Was Oscar the Grouch in your bar last night?

Count-Yesssssssssssssss.

Munch-Do you know what time he left?

Count-Yessssssssssssssssssssss. I kicked him out around threeeeeeeeeee. One. *A number one pops up. * Two. *A number two pops up. * Three. *A number three pops up. Count laughs loudly. * It was closing timeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Fin-Was there a Bert and Ernie here also?

Count-Yessssssssssss. They left at oneeeeeeeee. *A number one pops up. Munch and Fin roll their eyes. * Bert had work this morninggggggggggggg.

Munch- *Looks at Fin * Would you mind giving us their last names?

Count-Noooooooooooooooo. Bert Bee and Ernie Eee. They live threeeeeeee-one. *A number one pops up. Munch and Fin's eyes keep rolling. * Two.-

Munch-We get it already!

Count-*Looks offended. * Apartment blockssssssssss down.

Doink Doink!

The Apartment of Bert Bee and Ernie Eee, 49 Sesame Street

*Ernie opens the door. *

Ernie-Yes?

Elliot-Hello, were looking for a Bert Bee or an Ernie Eee?

Ernie-Yes I'm Ernie Eee.

Elliot-Can you account for your whereabouts last night?

Ernie-What? What on Earth's happened?

Elliot-A man was murdered last night around the time you left Count Von Count's bar.

Ernie-We came straight home from the bar. You can ask our doorman Grover.

*Back to the precinct, Olivia slams phone down. *

Olivia-Spoke to Grover. He can confirm that they came straight home and never left. He even said he has security tapes to prove it.

Elliot- * Scratches his head. * We got nothing.

Huang- *Stands from his seating position and walks to the case board. * Try and think of the crime. The killer plugged his anus with a crayon. That's pretty significant.

Elliot-We sort of figured that out doc.

Huang-He's trying to seal it. Stop something from coming out or something from going in. This could be the motive.

Olivia-You're right but until we know what the killer wanted to stop coming in or out we have absolutely nothing.

Munch-* Walks in * We might not. Got a call from Warner. She found something.

Ad break.

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A/N-Shocked?