It had been 2 days since the arsonist had caused the building to collapse. 2 days since her world had collapsed right alongside that building. 2 days since she had gone home. 2 days since she had showered. 2 days since her eyes had been dry. JJ was NOT an emotional person and had always thought that tears were pointless since they didn't get you anywhere. It was much better to use that emotion- whether it be anger, sorrow or pain- and do something. What was the point of crying? THAT was JJ's opinion 2 days ago. Now she was a wreck. She didn't know where she had kept this reserve of tears all these years but she had not stopped crying since that resounding blast that had brought the building down. Every time she thought that she was all cried out she saw something or thought of something that caused fresh rivers to flow down her cheeks.
Her brain told her that she looked like hell. That she stunk and was in a desperate need for a shower. That it wasn't healthy what she was doing. But she couldn't help herself. It wasn't like she didn't want to move and get on with things. It was like she couldn't- she couldn't uncurl herself from the office chair where she had taken residence or rather exit the office that had been her refuge for the last 2 days. Not only was she existing in this makeshift way, she had company. Two little boys were her constant companions these days. She knew that various members of the team were in and out but she completely ignored them. She wasn't ready to face what they represented or listen to what she was trying her hardest to ignore so she was continuing with this existence in limbo!
So what had caused all this? Well it was a case of an arsonist. The profile suggested that the Unsub was someone who was suffering from a psychotic break causing him to set fire to various buildings across the city. Most of the buildings that had been targeted were condemned or closed for other reasons so there were no casualties. But then they realized (a bit too late) that the Unsub wasn't just targeting condemned buildings he was targeting building where the homeless had taken shelter. People who didn't want to stay in a shelter had taken u residence in these condemned buildings without the knowledge of the city authorities. They had finally narrowed down the building that they thought the arsonist would target next. They were correct- the Unsub had set up an elaborate maze of wires and gasoline and other materials that would make the entire building go up like a tinder box. So they had rushed through the dilapidated rooms trying to get as many people out as they could. But they couldn't get everyone out and now there were 5 people unaccounted for: a single mother and her two children, an old homeless man and one FBI Agent- Unit Chief of the BAU. Of the 5, the authorities had pulled the body of the old man out of the rubble about 10 hours ago. The blast had caused the building to implode and therefore fire fighters and rescue crews were having a really tough time shifting through the remains. According to the last people to exit the building, the FBI Agent was taking to the mother at the end of the hall on the ground floor when the blast had hit. He was trying to convince her that the building was indeed about to explode and that he wasn't just making up an elaborate lie to evict her and her children from their "home".
Since this was a case on their home turf, JJ wasn't with the team when they had dashed toward the building. She was trying to get in touch with the authorities and bring them up to speed from their office. She, along with Garcia, was in touch with the team on the phone so she had heard the blast and had almost felt the vibrations in her bones. She had heard Emily scream Hotch's name second after the blast and her heart had stopped as one by one all the members of the team checked in except for the leader.
JJ couldn't remember much of what happened after that but she remembered that after a few hours she was sitting curled up in Hotch's office on his desk chair, wearing the extra jacket that he kept for emergencies, crying her eyes out. Nothing that anyone said even registered but she knew when Jack came into the room with his Aunt. She had held onto that little boy as if her life depended on it and told him that everything would be ok (even though she didn't believe it herself). A few hours after that someone had brought her own son to the office and she had been shut up in the office with the two boys since then. The only remotely normal things she did involved the feeding and taking care of the boys. She didn't talk to anyone and had only eaten when force fed by Garcia and Emily.
They watched her from the window as she slowly became a shell of her usual self right in front of their eyes. They all knew that the rescue teams had called off the search for survivors a couple of hours ago but nobody knew how to tell JJ. She loved that man and had never told him. They had teased both of them (individually) about it countless times but they knew that JJ and Hotch had never crossed that line. And now it looked like they never would. It was bittersweet knowing that JJ had bared her feelings for Hotch so blatantly over the last couple of days when it was too late. Her heart was breaking in front of their eyes and they were powerless to stop it. In fact one of them had to walk into that room and crush her hopes about the man that she loved ever coming back. None of them wanted to be it and finally it seemed that Rossi summed up the courage and gingerly stepped into the room.
He walked over to the figure huddled into the chair that he had seen Aaron sit in daily. She fit in it so perfectly- all curled up. Just the way that she fit in perfectly in Aaron's heart and it broke Rossi to know what he had to do. The boys were playing on the floor but JJ's dull blue eyes were too busy staring out of the window. Rossi walked up to her and gently touched her shoulder. She hadn't noticed him walk in and one look in the man's eyes told her what she never wanted to know. They had given up. They had given up on the man who never gave up. She stood up like a shot and screamed "No!" it was the most force in her voice that they heard in the last few days and gave Rossi the knowledge that their JJ was still somewhere inside this hollow woman. The blue eyes that were dull and lifeless suddenly sprang to life and blazed.
But it was over as soon as it started. Her fight was gone and the tears came. She let out a scream and her knees gave way. Rossi caught her before she fell and held her while she called out to the man who couldn't hear.
Emily and Garcia rushed into the room and grabbed the boys. Both of them had tears spilling onto their cheeks but knew that JJ needed to be relatively calm before she faced the boys. Jack would need her a lot over the next weeks if not months. He was crazy about his JJ (yet another trait shared by father and son).
Morgan stood with Reid and watched the blonde mess of a woman in Rossi's arms and watched the man lead her to the couch and hold her to provide some form of comfort. He couldn't move because he knew that one movement and the tears that he was desperately trying to keep at bay would spill. He felt someone come and stand next to him but he couldn't pull his eyes away from the scene in front of him until the person spoke.
"What is going on? What happened?" Morgan looked and met the confused glare of Erin Strauss. While Morgan didn't dislike her as much as some of the other members of his team, he really hated her at this moment. "They have called off the search and rescue at the site. They will start the clearing up in the morning.." he trailed off.
"So?" The question made Morgan spin on his heel till he was facing the older woman
"So? So??????????? SO THAT MEANS THAT THEY HAVE GIVEN UP ON HOTCH. THAT even if he survived the initial explosion by some miracle he will most probably be dead by the morning. SO it means that I have to bury yet another friend and we have lost our leader and JJ has lost the man that she loved and Jack has lost his only living parent. SO it means that HOTCH IS DEAD!! And you must be happy because now you can rule over the BAU just like you do over the other Units here because Hotch won't be there to stop you. SO why don't you go back to whatever hole you crawled out of and let us be!!!!!!!!!!"
Morgan was screaming by this time and Reid, Prentiss and Garcia were now standing in the bullpen watching in horror as their colleague screamed at their boss' boss.
"Morgan.." the voice was weak and small but enough to make Morgan turn around. He saw his boss sitting on a wheelchair behind him. His hand was bandaged and he was covered all over in soot and some blood but there he was. Morgan collapsed on the ground beside the chair and couldn't help reaching over and grabbing Hotch's uninjured hand.
"Hotch???" Tears spilled from Emily and Garcia's eyes on hearing Morgan's voice crack.
Hotch smiled and asked "where is JJ?"
Morgan shot behind the chair to grab the handles and wheeled Hotch near the stairs that lead up to his office. All questions could wait till later because right now Hotch needed to be with JJ. He was about to go and call JJ and Rossi but Hotch held up his hand. "I want to go up and see her Morgan."
Morgan understood and gently helped Hotch stand and slowly make his way up the steps. He quietly opened the door and met Rossi's widening eyes. Rossi watched his friend make his way into his office and turned down to look at the small woman who had screamed and howled herself to sleep in his arms.
Morgan walked Hotch to the couch and made him sit next to Rossi and JJ. Rossi quietly shifted JJ out of his arms and into Hotch's embrace. She stirred but didn't awaken. Then both Morgan and Rossi pulled away. They watched the tears spill down Hotch's cheeks as he held the woman that he loved and watched her eyes open.
"Hotch…" her voice cracked as her never ending supply of tears started afresh. "Where have you been?"
Hotch opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by the squeals of 2 little boys as they raced into the room and jumped onto the couple on the couch.
Rossi and Morgan quietly slipped out of the room to give the newly formed family time to reunite.
"Agent Morgan" Morgan whipped around to meet Strauss once again
"Erin.." Rossi started but she held up her hand to stop his tirade in Morgan's defence.
"Agent Morgan" she continued "I understand that Agent Hotchner and I don't always see eye to eye but I value the man. He is an excellent agent and one of the best Chief's that the BAU has ever had. I don't want to lose him. Especially not to a crazed Unsub but that is a reality of what we do here and it is something that we all have to accept." She started to walk away.
"But Agent Morgan.." Morgan had honestly thought that she was going to let him off easy this time but guess not as Strauss continued "put down a twenty for me for an autumn wedding."
Morgan's jaw dropped as he watched her walk away and the rest of the BAU burst into peals of laughter. After 2 days from hell the team of the BAU was back!