Chapter 1: Anatomy
Welcome to the Ninja Documentary Channel, the channel that feeds you with juicy facts of the Ninja World. Today we're going to find out how does a Zetsu mate, reproduce and raise their young. But before we begin, you might be wondering what's a Zetsu? Well, a Zetsu is a close relative of humans, except their kind are half-Venus fly trap. These magnificent creatures are carnivorous, feasting on human flesh and other meat sources, but they are intelligent and are useful as spies with their ability to phase through solid walls and teleport. Some say they are a missing link between humans and plants, but is yet to be confirmed. They have split personalities or 'faces', half black and half white(white has a face). Now let's look at their genitals, which is like ours accept for a few odd parts.....
The male: Like us, the male Zetsu has a penis and two testes. But both of those parts are hidden away in a 'jockstrap' that has a mouth just like the fly-trap jaws that are visible near their shoulders. Only in sexual intercourse(or peeing) will the 'jockstrap' open its jaws to erect the penis out. The penis too has a mouth that opens and closes for peeing and sex at the 'head'.Their testes are transclucent and yellowish and full of sperm.
The female: They also have a vagina that has a mouth that opens and closes, their breasts are just like ours, one for each 'face'.
They have intercourse just like we do, but the mouth of the vagina has one advantage; you can have sex and a blowjob at the same time! The mouth of the penis nips at the inside of the vagina, making it more exciting if you know what I mean. The two mouths would engage with each other in a kiss, while the genitals do their job. The penis would opens its jaws and release sperms, which is like ours accept they have a jaws instead of a head and the nucleus(the cell that controls eveything) is hidden within the jaws. The ova is just like ours. The sperm would swallow the ovum, allowing their nuclei to fuse together, once the ovum has been fertilised the sperm would open its jaws and spit it out, and the sperm disintegrates.
Chapter 2: Reproduction
The egg cell would stick to the uterus(part near the vagina) and after six months, the cell hardens into a yellow seed. The mother then digs a hole in fertile soil, and squats down to lay the seed. The process is tiring, and the mother collapses after laying. The mother would water the seed daily. After three months, the seed grows into a baby Zetsu with all Zetsu features. The mother scoops up the baby with gardening equipment and plants it into a small flowerpot.
Chapter 3: Raising their young
The mother and father raise their young until they have to go to college. When its a baby they fed it with compost with the occasional chemical fertiliser. As they grow into adolsences, they have to take care not to enrage their father or his cannibilism would take over and devour them. At their mature teen years, they would engage their father in a fight in order to impress a future mate. They would rip each other apart with their fly trap jaws and if the child wins, they kill their father and go to college with their mate. If the father wins, he kills his child and rapes the future mate if its a girl or eats it if its a boy. Nonethless, the mother would be saddened by both events and commits suicide or finds a new mate.
Thank you for listening to the Zetsu Documentary! See you next time! Review!
In the Akatsuki hideout.........
Zetsu suddenly felt digusted and ashamed at the same time. Madara comes up to ne of his few remaining members to strike a conversation." Something wrong Zetsu?" asked Madara "Well........" answered Zetsu " I feel so violated..... and my privates are acting up......."
"Okay........'' replied Madara, backing up a bit " Are you gay?" awkward silence insues.
THE END