Sherlock-

I heard this song the other day, and I thought it summed up how I felt about…what happened. I know you can't read this, but I thought you'd appreciate that I was thinking of you. Or not. But please. Please, just bear through it for me. (Look at me, writing like your gravestone isn't going to keep you from responding.) Just…bear with me.

Now and then I think of when we were together

I remember the thrill, the chase, the laughter.

Like when you said you felt so happy you could die

You never said it to my face, but I could always tell.

Told myself that you were right for me

You were my best friend, there couldn't be anyone else like you.

But felt so lonely in your company

Sometimes I couldn't believe you were human.

But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

Not love in that way, but as close as you could come.

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

It's hard now to believe I was happy once.

Like resignation to the end, always the end

I wish I could say I was over it, but I get the feeling I never can.

So when we found that we could not make sense

I'll never forget all the times we argued about the stupidest things.

Well you said that we would still be friends

I wish that was possible for us.

But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

Never, Sherlock. It hurts too much to be a relief.

But you didn't have to cut me off

I never should have left you.

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

You came as close to anyone to give me that same feeling.

And I don't even need your love

I wish that were true.

But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough

Did I really hurt you so bad you had to jump?

No you didn't have to stoop so low

How hard would it have been to come to me and say I hurt you?

Have your friends collect your records and then change your number

I wish I could talk to you face to face.

I guess that I don't need that though

I need it desperately, Sherlock. No matter what I'll say to my therapist.

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

How could you have done some of the things you did to me is beyond reason.

But had me believing it was always something that I'd done

I can't blame you, no matter how hard I try.

But I don't wanna live that way

But I miss it so much.

Reading into every word you say

I'd be willing to deal with the insults if you'd come back.

You said that you could let it go

Liar. Always the liar.

And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

I never did, but you hurt me anyway.

The chorus repeats, but you know what I have to say about that, so I'll skip to the end.

…Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

One favor Sherlock. Don't. Be. Dead. Please, could you do this for me?

-JW

Done. I'm so sorry, John.

-SH