The Right Deed for the Wrong

Farkas knew something was wrong but he didn't pry—just watched. His white eyes would casually glance my way and give me a once over before they turned back to the Orcish great sword he was cleaning.

"You missed a spot." I murmured without looking up from my book. I was curled up in the chair by the hearth and I was finally feeling the last of the stiff tension from the week leaving my body. I even felt relaxed enough to start teasing my husband.

I could feel Farkas' eyes boring into my forehead. I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling, and then lost when I realized it was the first time I had smiled in over a week. Only Farkas could do that. And he had been trying all this time to find my smile.

"Finally." I had to look up and watch him cross the room towards me. There was a very small smile on his lips as he knelt to the floor and took one of my hands in his. "I thought maybe you had lost that smile on that job a week back."

And I lost it. The smile disappeared and my back went rigid—my hand stiff in his. Farkus flinched as if I had physically punched him. I firmly took my hand from his, stood up, and placed the book on the small shelf.

"Lahier, I—" Farkas started, standing up to come behind me, grabbing my shoulders and turning me around. He quieted when he saw the look on my face. I felt a twist of guilt in my gut for being this way around him. I pressed my lips together and thought that I may need to leave for a while, maybe even travel to another Hold. The house in Markath needed some cleaning. No, that would only make Farkas worry more, and I wasn't going to take him that far from his brother. Because he would insist on going with me if I went all the way to Markath. No, I needed something else.

I tried to twist my face into a smile for him, but it came out wrong. Instead, I placed my hand on his cheek and just looked at him.

"I think I'm going out for a while." I said quietly. "Maybe do some hunting." My voice sounded lifeless and unconvincing, but he nodded.

"You be careful," Farkus said gruffly, his hand coming to rest on top of mine. "I don't want to have to get Aela down here to take arrows out of your hide."

I nodded once, noticing that he had guessed my plans, and headed up the stairs to the loft. Without pausing I called softly into the room at the top, "Could you help me with my armor, Lydia? I'm going out."

Lydia was there at once and she followed me into Farkas and mine's bedroom, a worried look on her face. Again I felt a twinge of guilt. It was selfish of me to make my friend and husband live with me while I was like this. As Lydia secured the last strap on the leather cuirass, I decided that this would be the last day that they had to.

Lydia watched as I strapped a fully packed quiver and bow to my back. She remained silent as I reached for my long swords as well, but when I grabbed the linen wraps and health potions she spoke.

"My Thane, you know it would be a great honor to join you today in your hunt. Perhaps even assist you in carrying some of the haul back."

With my back facing her I allowed myself a small smile. That was Lydia's way of saying, 'By the Nine, you're going to get yourself killed today aren't you? Because you're not really going on a hunt.'

"Thank you, Lydia, but I think I would prefer some solitude on this excursion." I looked up with a smile, well I thought it was a smile but it felt more like a grimace, and patted her shoulder. "I should be back tomorrow morning, so don't fret alright?"

Lydia nodded and walked down the stairs with me. Farkas was waiting by the door and he reached out and snagged my arm before I could grab the handle. We stared at each other for a moment, white eyes and ocher. Nord and Bosmer. He searched my face, trying vainly to guess my emotions, but eventually gave up. He drew me close for moment to kiss my forehead.

"Be safe, love." And with a nod he opened the door for me.

I stepped out quickly in the evening air and took a deep breath. Twilight had just descended over Whiterun and people were hurrying to get their errands done for the day. I took off at a jog for the gate, waving at Adrianne as I past the smithy. She acknowledged me by swinging her hammer in a salute and then went back to preparing whatever project she was working on. The guard at the gate had seen me coming and had it open for me before I reached him. I gave him a nod and slipped through the gap.

I ran full throttle then down the cobblestone road, glad for once that it was empty. My legs pumped hard and fast and I couldn't stop the wild grin that spread across my face in response to the speed. It had been so long since my muscles had had this. All too soon I could see the stables and I felt a flash of confusion when I say my dappled gray horse already saddled. Standing by the beast was Jervar, a sheepish grin on his face.

I slowed and stopped by the dapple, Hrother, and patted the animal's neck. I got a grateful nuzzle in return.

"Jervar," I greeted the young man. I gave him puzzled look. "What's this?"

He quietly handed me the reins and took a step back. "Father had a feeling," was all he said and then he turned and walked back to the cottage.

I shook my head in silent disbelief. Skulvar would never cease to amaze me.

I jumped onto Hrother, turned him down the road, and moved him into a ground eating lope. The sun had set and the last rays were casting shadows across the barrens. The Western Watchtower came into view and I could make out the dragon bones near the stones. Some of the guards were perched on the collapsed section of the tower and they waved as I rode by, glad for the minor distraction.

Up ahead I could make out the outline of a rundown fort. Fort Greymoor. The bandits that had taken up residence here had begun to become a deadly nuisance to travelers and there had been reports of people missing around the area. The guards could do nothing and neither could the Companions for once. So the Bandits went on unhindered. That would change soon.

Night had fallen and I could see the torches moving along the parapets. I leaned down low over Hrother's neck and reined him off the road. His hooves seemed to float over the rocks and grass, only clacking with the stones every other step. I took the longer way around and positioned us behind a pile of boulders, slipping of Hrother with my bow drawn and nocked before he came to a complete stop. I silently ran to the edge of the rocks and slipped into some brush, making my way closer to the fort.

The moon was covered and I felt a chill in the air. It'll rain soon. I thought. That meant I had to hurry it a bit more than I would have liked. I stopped at a position that let me see the moving torches at the right angle.

"Laas Ya Nir," The words came out in a rushed whisper and blackness covered my vision. But in seconds it disappeared leaving the world grey-red, and eventually the grey sucked away, leaving pillars of moving crimson.

I called a prayer to Akatosh, pulled the bow string back, took a deep breath, and let fly my missile into the night.

~o.O.o~

Lydia paced across the stone floor in front of the door. She had her arms crossed and was biting her bottom lip in worry. She had her full armor on and her sword was strapped to her side. And I could feel a corner of my lip twitch at the irony of it. Lydia saw it and she turned to scowl at me.

"Aren't you worried at all?" She hissed from across the hearth. "She has been gone all night and it is almost midday! And there you are," she gestured grandly at my unarmored, relaxed position in the chair, "all nice and comfy with not a sword on you! Really, Farkas! What kind of husband are you?"

I sighed. "I'm the husband who knows what his wife is capable of. Relax, Lydia. Lahier will be back soon. And if it will make you feel better Vilkas and I will go after her if she's not here by evening."

I was worried though; I was just controlling mine better than Lydia. Lahier had been such a state of despair the past week that he was starting to worry that he shouldn't have let her go without Lydia or himself. Lydia seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"I shouldn't have let her go alone. I don't understand the Thane's thought process!" Lydia despaired, mostly to herself. I watched her with half lidded eyes, only partially listening. "Ever since that job with Aela last week, Lahier has been acting as if Skyrim has fallen apart. What could have happened? I tried to get my Thane to tell me but she refused." She stopped then and turned to me with a question in her eyes.

I huffed and stood, walking to the pot to absently stir the stew. What could the harm be to tell Lydia? Vilkas wouldn't mind but Aela would probably be mad.

"It was the Silver Hand," I started, deciding that I didn't care what the others thought. "Aela had heard that there was one small group holed up in a cave north of here and she asked Lahier to come to help her wipe them out. Lahier agreed immediately."

Lydia's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"Lahier…" I stopped stirring and stared at the wall. "Lahier has never fully gotten over Kodlak's death. She still harbors guilt for not being there to protect him when the Silver Hand made their move. Lahier may have freed his soul to Savangarde, but she did not free herself."

Lydia went silent at this and I took it as an opportunity to continue.

"They found the group and eliminated them without a problem, but there was a complication towards the end that Aela didn't foresee. They heard noises further back in the caves. Lahier went to investigate it." I sat back down heavily into the chair by the pot, running a hand through my hair. "She was the one who found the cages."

The crackling of the fire was the only sound in the room. Lydia knew about the Companion's secret, mostly because Lahier had ended up showing her one night. The blessing and curse of Hircine. The wolf's call.

"Caged werewolves were not new to Lahier. In our several dealings with the Silver Hand we always came across werewolves that had been captured. But those wolves had been so far gone into their inner beast from torture that it was always a mercy killing for them. They were always beyond saving.

"This time was different. They found a mother and her son in these cages and they were in their human forms. The son had been tortured the worst but the mother was no better. Lahier immediately went to the boy and tried to heal him…" I trailed off and looked into the fire.

Lydia now sat in the other chair limply, her eyes wide. "What happened?" She whispered.

"The boy snapped," I said. "Even with Lahier's calm presence it was too much for the lad. Aela couldn't get to Lahier, she had come into the chamber later, but it didn't matter. The mother turned to her beast when her son did, protective instinct I guess, and it was all Aela could do to keep the woman away from Lahier.

"Aela finished the mother quickly. When she managed to get to Lahier, she found her kneeling over the broken and bleeding form of the boy, silently crying. Aela said she kept saying, 'I could have saved him, I could have saved him. A few more moments and I could have.' Aela pretty much had to carry Lahier home. And Lahier has been tearing herself apart over it."

Lydia's brow furrowed once again in consternation. "I…don't understand. How were these wolves any different than the mercy killing wolves from previous? I don't see it."

I stared at her for moment and watched as she shifted uncomfortably under my gaze.

"The difference," I started slowly, "is that these wolves still had their minds. They were in pain and starving, but not wild. They changed and attacked from panic, not insanity. In Lahier's mind she has committed murder. She killed a brother wolf and feels as if she should be punished for it. Aela won't allow it though."

"Why should she?" Lydia burst, abruptly standing from her chair. "The Thane did not intentionally kill the boy. It was self-defense! And if Lahier is to be punished then so should Aela! That mother was doing nothing but protecting her son."

I gestured impatiently. "Which is why Aela will not allow punishment. Everyone knows that it was in self-defense these killings happened. Aela sees that clearly. The problem is that Lahier doesn't see it. And it is very hard to convince Lahier of one thing when she believes another so strongly.

"That is why Lahier has been such a wreck lately. She's been beating herself up on the inside, telling herself she deserves whatever calamity may happen to her. I knew she would snap out of it eventually, that she would do something that she would think of as atonement and I was right."

"What do you mean you were right?" Lydia asked suspicious.

I smiled a wolf's grin. "You'll see."

Lydia scowled in aggravation and went back to pace in front of the door. I grabbed my blade and started sharpening it, thinking that I may just need it if Lahier didn't get back in time.

~o.O.o~

I was about to go out of my mind. An hour had passed since the disturbing conversation with Farkus. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes. He was smarter than he looked or acted and I was starting to get an inkling for why the Thane had married him but still….

He was maddeningly calm, rarely moving from his seat by the hearth. No concern seemed to come from him, no fear for his wife. How infuriating!

"I can't take it." I said suddenly, my hand reaching for the door. "It has been too long and I won't—"

The door opened and a very tired and dirty Lahier came into the room. She had an abrasion on her face, her dark brown hair was ragged, and I could make out one major cut on her left arm. Her quiver was almost empty and her blades looked bloody. But I stared at her face because I realized she was smiling. She was obviously exhausted, but there was a lightness to her that had not been there when she left. Even her pointed ears seemed to have lifted slightly in happiness.

I started when Farkas moved past me—I had not heard him—to Lahier. It was then I saw her knees about to give out.

"My Thane!" I cried as Farkas lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the chair by the hearth. Lahier laughed softly as she was settled in the chair. She reached out and snagged Farkas' hand and brought it to rest against her forehead. She closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh. She then opened them and looked at me with a rueful grin.

"Don't fuss, Lydia. I'm just tired. I need a bath and sleep and I'll be right as rain. Old forts have too much dust and mold for my liking." Lahier turned to Farkas and her smile took on a teasing edge. "Think you could help with that bath, dear?"

I watched, incredulous, as Farkas gave my Thane a wolfish grin. "It would be my pleasure, love." And he picked her up in his arms, gave her a long tender kiss on the mouth, and headed for the potion turned bathing room.

What by the Nine Divine had she done to fix herself? I shook my head and decided to make my way to the Bannered Mare for a few drinks. I wouldn't be able to get anything from Lahier tonight. I bit my lip as I thought I should probably rent a room the night.

I went out the door and immediately noticed a commotion by the gates. I frowned in confusion, but managed to stop a guard that had come from the crowd.

"Excuse me soldier, do you happen to know what that's about?" I nodded to the people by the gate.

He nodded and gestured towards them. "Yeah, they're just excited about the newcomers that your Thane brought home."

"Newcomers?" I looked more closely at the group and I could make out three people that were dressed in rags. "You mean those three?"

"Apparently," the guard continued as if I hadn't spoken, "Thane Lahier rode out to Fort Greymoor and fought her way inside. She found those prisoners and released them. We're already getting reports back from the Western Watchtower guards that were sent there to scout out for stray bandits. There are none."

I stared at him blankly. "None?"

"The fort was wiped clean. Not a soul left." He gave me a respectful 'Mam' and continued on his round.

I watched as the free prisoners were lead away, blankets wrapped around them and food in their hands. They were laughing and crying, clinging to their friends in desperate relief. The sight of it almost made tears come but I held it off.

I understood what Farkas meant now when he had said Lahier would find her atonement. Lahier had gone out and risked her life for those strangers. She traded a deed for a deed, right versus wrong. I looked back at Breezehome and smiled. Whiterun had been blessed to have Lahier as their Thane.

I turned and headed towards the Bannered Mare with a much lighter heart.