Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD or any of the characters
A/N: Written before Erin told Jay about her past.
That's What I'm Here For
Erin Lindsay was a strong person. Nobody saw her soft side, no one, aside from Voight, even thought that she had one. She didn't cry, at least not in front of other people. So to say that Jay Halstead was shocked when she showed up on his doorstep in tears, just before midnight, would be an understatement.
"Erin?" He asked, rubbing the small amount of sleep out of his eyes that had gathered from only two hours of sleep.
"I'm sorry, it's late, and you were probably sleeping, so I'll just leave." Jay shook his head before stepping back to let her into his small, cramped and messing apartment.
"I was, but it's okay, what's wrong?" When she didn't say anything Jay gave her a look that told her that he wasn't having any of it.
"How about you come inside for a beer then, and if you want to talk after, we can talk" She nodded. "Okay."
She followed him into the small living room and looked around, taking in her surroundings. A leather recliner sat in the far corner, close to the window, and the charcoal grey sectional was placed across from it. Erin laughed, for someone who had the messiest desk she'd ever seen, his house was oddly neat. She had only been inside his place twice before, picking him up for work, and even then she had only stood in the front foyer.
"What?" He asked when he realized that she wasn't following him.
"Your house is so neat." She said in awe. "Just didn't expect this after seeing your desk." Jay had noticed that her tears had subsided, and he didn't know if he should be glad or worried. Jay knew better than anyone else how bottling things up can effect a person, and he sure as hell wasn't about to watch her go down the same road. No, he cared about her too much for that. He handed her a beer before plopping down next to her on the sectional.
"Military training" he smiled "being neat is a trait you never really lose after you get out." He explained, and she shook her head, laughing.
"Still doesn't explain your desk" She teased, and grinned that grin of his that always increased her mood.
"Never used desks in Afghanistan" he replied, the tone in his voice going from joking to serious, as it always did when he talked about his time overseas. She gave him a sad look, placing her hand on his thigh and he wondered how it turned into her comforting him.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up" she whispered and he turned to her.
"Aren't I supposed to be comforting you? Because don't lie, something is wrong" she sighed, knowing that she wouldn't be allowed to leave until she talked to him, and he had opened up about his past with her, so it was only fair.
"It's just... how am I supposed to make up for my past, when the girls I try to help, always end up going back to that lifestyle anyway?" Jay had a feeling that she was talking about the girl from today, which made him wonder even more, what had happened to her?
He held open his arms, and she looked up at him, before scooting in to the embrace. Tears had begun to make their reappearance along the rim of her eyes. Inhaling deeply she began:
"When I was fourteen my mom was killed in a car accident, and my dad had left years before. After she died, I started down the wrong path, I stayed in school, and I passed my classes, but I didn't have any idea of where I was going in life. And then I met Jared..." she trailed off, taking a shaky breath. 'There is always a guy' he thought.
"He wasn't the best influence in the world" she laughed, probably trying to rid herself of her nerves.
"He ran with a gang, his brother had gotten him in. And when we started dating, I started hanging out with just them, I had never had many friends in high school, but when I met Jared I lost them. Hanging out with them I started drinking, and smoking, and I got addicted to heroin. I had been dating him almost a year by the time that I'd met Voight." A stray tear fell down her cheek, and Jay let his thumb brush it away.
"Um, I had just turned fifteen, and Jared, his brother Paul and a few of their friends took me to this rave on the outskirts of the city." Jay cut her off,
"Erin, don't tell me this if you aren't comfortable." But she waved him off.
"Jared got knocked out within an hour of getting there, but by then I was already too high to even care... a couple of his friends realized that, and they, um they raped me." She said the last part so softly that if Jay hadn't known what she was about to say, he would have completely missed it.
"Voight and his team raided the place and found me there, took me to the hospital, and after, when I sobered up, he gave me a choice, the same choice I gave that girl. The only difference is that I made the right one." She was sobbing at that point, and Jay held her even tighter as she cried.
"I couldn't help her Jay, what kind of cop am I, if I can't help her make the right choice?" She asked when she pulled back, her eyes red from crying, and it took Jay all his might not to just pull her back and take all her troubles away, but he knew that she needed to get it out, and she was his partner, as much as he cared about her, and wanted to be more, he knew they couldn't.
"Erin Lindsay, you are a great cop, and an even better person. Sure, you may be one of the most uptight people I have had the pleasure to meet." He poked her arm, winking, "but you are also the most caring, and determined and amazing person I've ever met, and that makes you a good cop."
As he spoke, Erin saw the truth in his eyes, and she leaned up gently placing a kiss on his lips before pulling back and curling into his side. Jay looked at her, bewildered that she had just kissed him, but he settled into the embrace comfortably. Erin let out a huge yawn, which Jay almost immediately copied.
"Thank you" She murmured before falling asleep and he smiled, they would have to talk about that another day, but right now he was content with comforting her. He laid down, gently pulling her with him and closed his eyes.
"Anytime, that's what I'm here for."
End.