Alright, this is my first attempt at a poem... gone horribly wrong. It's a crackfic too, so no wonder. This is a present for Celebaby20, because Monday (Fifteenth of December) was her birthday. So I thought I'd do something for her because we've been friends for Arceus-knows-how-long, and we're very close and have helped each other through difficult parts of our lives. So this is dedicated to her.
Happy birthday, Star. Love you loads.
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. 'Nuff said.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
T'was a night before Christmas,
And all through Smash manor,
Decorations were hung brightly,
Giving much glitz and glamour.
The Smashers themselves were getting ready that night,
The day that Saint Nicholas would soon take flight.
The younger Smashers were already in bed,
The thoughts of Christmas wild in their head.
Though back downstairs, things weren't quite as calm,
In fact, it looked like someone had just dropped a bomb.
The rooms were a tip, the Smashers were flailing,
And it didn't help that Pikachu made the lights start failing.
Bowser was stomping, his eyes bloodshot and red,
Wishing he could forget all this and head straight to bed.
However, the other Smashers wouldn't let him go,
Since Peach had tied a tracking device to the end of his nose.
Dedede and Ganondorf were setting up a stage,
Where tomorrow, their DJ-ing talents would wake.
Both never told the Smashers about the cool G-Diddy,
And his partner in musical crime, the 'King Triple-D'.
Snake was using his communicator to call,
And order many Christmas style things from the mall.
However, he didn't mention food, not yet,
For Kirby would've manned the door, no bets.
Marth and Ike were busy decorating the tree,
With tinsel and other things that were quite glittery.
Marth climbed a ladder to put the star at the top,
But he slipped on the top step, making him belly-flop.
Ike burst out laughing, pointing at the prince,
As Marth stood back up, not smiling since.
Link watched in amusement, giving a light laugh,
As he poked the glowing fire within the warm hearth.
Sonic was running, spraying fake snow in a can,
He'd used up about twelve bottles, grinning like a madman.
Pit was also helping with the fake snow idea,
But he aimed them at the Smashers, with a whoop and a cheer.
In the living room, the presents were under the tree,
At least one for each Smasher, some big and some tiny.
To keep people out, Wario farted with all his might,
To keep the children from coming down in the midst of the night.
But as you all know – good things can't last,
Especially when there's a collision of slow and fast.
Proving this point, Sonic ran into Bowser, knocking him flat,
Bowser gave an almighty roar – "WATCH IT, YOU RAT!!"
"I'm not a rat!" Sonic replied, "There's no need to yell!"
Bowser swung a claw at Sonic, who dodged, "Hey man, what the hell?
It's Christmas time, so don't be mad, y'know?
And besides – it's not my problem if YOU'RE TOO SLOW!!"
Bowser gave an almighty roar, breathing flames at Sonic,
Who got out of the way and dashed off quick.
Bowser gave chase, as Sonic sprayed fake snow,
Obviously, he won't catch him... Oh here we go...
Red watched them run, his face had a weird look,
Pit landed next to him, his head slowly shook.
"Pit," Red asked, raising an eyebrow, "Tell me so,
What does your scouter say about his anger, do you know?"
"I don't believe this!" Pit turned around, scouter in hand,
"Red, his power level... it's OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAND!!"
Sonic sweat-dropped and Bowser looked real mad,
And Red looked irritated at the use of the fad.
As the two continued to chase, causing quite a sight,
Captain Falcon ran forward, wanting to join the fight.
"I'm not sure," He grinned, "but I have a hunch;
This thing can just be solved with a good ol' FALCON PUNCH!!"
In the next room, Jigglypuff was trying to sing.
But no one was listening. ...Wait, that's a good thing.
Because if anyone heard, then they'd take a kip,
And Jiggles would draw on their face with felt-tip.
In the kitchen, Peach and Zelda were trying to bake,
The biggest and tastiest kind of Christmas cake.
But Peach was still mad – what kind of cheek?
That Zelda got a present, and yet so did Sheik!
...
...
...Silence.
"...Whoah, whoah, WHOAH!!" Red yelled suddenly, the entire thing grinding to a halt, "What's going on? What happened to the poem?!"
Pit raised an eyebrow, glancing around, "...Looks like the author ran out of rhymes..."
"Oh for the love of...!" Sonic sweatdropped, skidding next to the two, "...So what do we do now?"
"...How about..." Red put his finger to his lips in thought, then grinned suddenly, "...We make rhymes FOR him?!"
"...Seriously, this is ridiculous!" Sonic turned around, facing the ceiling, "Regii, you LOVE smashing the fourth wall don't you?!"
"Sonic, why are you yelling at the roof?" Red asked in a puzzled tone. Sonic sighed.
"Never mind..."
"So... we're here to help Regii make up some rhymes..." Red began, pacing the hall as everyone watched him, "Err..."
"...Breaking the fourth wall is one of fanfiction's worst crimes?" Sonic suggested, raising an eyebrow. Red glared at him in annoyance, "What?"
"Will you shut up about the bloody fourth wall?"
Pit sighed, putting his head in his hands, "This is going to end baaaaadly..."
"Alright, let's think of more! Um..." Sonic began to massage his head, looking frustrated, "...No wonder the author ran out of rhymes! This is tough!"
"You're telling me..." Captain Falcon sighed, shaking his head, "Even I'm having trouble..."
At that point, the two Mario brothers walked in, talking to each other loudly, and attracting everyone's attention away from the current problem.
"Mario, why-a can't I be a main-a character?" Luigi glared at him, "I'm-a always on-a the side! It's-a not fair!"
"Because I'm-a older, and a much-a bigger star!" Mario replied, folding his arms, "People pay-a more attention to-a me than to-a you!" And with that, he turned and began to walk away, with Luigi staring after him. Luigi gave a loud wail, and fell to his knees, making everyone jump in alarm.
"Luigi, what's wrong?" Asked Peach hurriedly, running over to him, "Are you alright?"
"Being the younger brother isn't easy!" Cried Luigi in exasperation, "Especially when no-one pays attention to WEEGEE!!"
Everyone face-palmed, and Luigi smiled, "I'm-a sorry, I had to-a do it."
"Well, at least it wasn't Mama Luigi..." Snake grumbled, shaking his head, "Let's think of some more. I want to get this stupid stuff over and done with..."
"Me too," Marth nodded, leaning up against the wall, "Um... so Christmas time is drawing near..."
"And the Smashers are full of festive cheer!" Meta-Knight nodded, "Does that work?"
"Sure does," Lucario nodded calmly, "I... can't think of anymore, though..."
Without warning, Wario burst into the room, cackling evilly. Everyone turned and stared at him as he spun around, and his belly began to bulge. Pit's eyes widened as he stared at Wario's now enlarged stomach.
"DUCK IN COVER!!"
All the Smashers screamed as Wario let loose a powerful blast of gas that knocked over the Christmas tree, and several decorations. The force of the explosion also knocked out several light bulbs, caused several doors to splinter from impact, and make some of the Smashers begin to wretch and choke violently.
"OH GOD!!" Link cried, covering his face, "IT BURNS!!"
"SAVE US FROM THE GAS!!" Ike screamed, putting his cape over his face and coughing loudly, "IT STINGS MY EYES AND NOSE!!"
"Wahahaha!" Wario jeered, saluting, "Against the great-a Wario, you-a stand no chance! Because I'm-a not wearing any-a underpants!"
Everyone stared at Wario, now with weird expressions as Pikachu slowly asked, "Is that true, Wario... or are you just rhyming?"
"I-a didn't want to-a throw off our timing!" Wario cheered, and then faltered a little as he gave a large grin.
"...But-a yes, it's true. I'm-a not."
"EWWW!!" Several Smashers cried, backing away from Wario. The fat man laughed, grabbing his motorbike and riding it out of the room as he cackled in an insane manner. Everyone stared after him, and Red gave a small sigh.
"That Wario guy... he really creeps me out..."
"And I've got a headache... there was no need to shout..." Pit sighed, rubbing his head. Red suddenly turned, staring at Pit, "What's up?"
"Hold on a moment, are we rhyming too?"
"Don't ask me, I don't have a clue."
Zelda sighed, turning and beginning to walk away, "This is too crazy. I'm off."
"This is like something out of Doctor Zeus..." Sonic muttered, then looked up at Red, who was staring after Zelda, "Red, you alright?"
"...I can't stop staring at Zelda's caboose..." Red began to drool a little, and Sonic sweatdropped.
"Great... Red's in a trance..."
"Everyone seems to have gone all rhyme-y..." Marth rubbed the back of his head, and Ike glared at him.
"Shut the hell up, you stupid limey!"
"This whole rhyme thing is quite retarded..." Peach mumbled, staring around the room at the other Smashers. They all nodded, and Marth sighed.
"This whole fiasco is quite a big shock... who-ever continues rhyming can just suck on my co—"
"FALCON PUNCH!!" Falcon punched Marth into the collapsed Christmas tree, making it roll over on top of him, flattening him, "No swearing in a T rated fanfic!"
"You know, I think we should go up to bed and get some sleep," Sonic suggested, "We gotta wake up early for Christmas tomorrow, right?"
"Right, sure." Red nodded, and clapped his hands, "Okay! Fanfic over, get to bed!"
"You can't tell us what to do!" Snapped Snake angrily, glaring at Red, "We have our own decisions to make! You can't just—"
"Don't make me get out the Shoop-da-whoop box..." Red growled. Snake shut up instantly, and the Smashers quickly hurried upstairs before Red got out the box of doom. Pit rubbed the back of his neck, and then began to head to the stairs too.
"Well, I'm off too. I hope this turned out good... I think it sucked."
"Pit, don't be negative!" Red grinned, "It's Christmas! Be happy!"
Pit smiled and lowered his head slightly, "Yeah sure..."
"Also..." Red turned, facing the shattered fourth wall, "All you readers... you may think our rhyming is kind of crass... but if you do, you can stick your flames right up your a—"
"Red, language!" Pit snapped. Red quickly stopped himself, sighing.
"Alright, alright..." Red turned and followed Pit, but... it's weird. I think we've forgotten something..."
Pit looked back, shaking his head, "...I don't think so. Doesn't look like it..."
"...Maybe I'm getting paranoid..." Red sighed, and shut the door, turning the lights off too. There was a long silence, as the room lay in total darkness, the collapsed Christmas tree making a dark shadow across the wall. An arm suddenly rose weakly from under the tree.
"...Hello? Anyone?" Came a voice, "It's me... Marth... I'm stuck... someone help? ...Please?"
No response. Marth sighed, unable to push the heavy tree off of him. He simply lay there, and turned his head to look at the fourth wall.
"I can't push this off, its way too tall... but whatever... you readers... merry Christmas, one and all!" He suddenly gave a loud cough, "...Oh great, now I have pine needles in my mouth... yuck..."
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
...OMG. That was random beyond extreme. I've managed to combine a poem AND a story into one. I think I've just destroyed a lot of Fanfiction logic here. Anyway, that was a birthday fic to you, Celebaby20. I'm sorry it's so late, but you know why already.
Also, I'd like to thank my brother, Fytt, for the Jiggles verse and the Sheik line. Thanks bro.
And to the rest of you – Have a very Merry Christmas, and a happy new year!
+Regii+