A/N: Something that was flitting around in my head for a bit after a friend said something during Band Camp. I never got around to putting it into words until today :P
Warning: Language, OOC, slight violence...?
Disclaimer: I didn't steal the rights this time...Kishimoto-sama seems to have set up protective barriers around his house... -_-u
^v^
"Deidara! Are you ready yet?"
"Does it look like I'm ready yet hmm?"
"Oh shut up and get over here already. I don't like to be kept waiting."
Deidara mocked the older man as he headed towards the exit of the Akatsuki base, making sure his clay pouch was secured firmly around his waist.
"Brat!"
"I'm on my way! My Gosh!"
"Hurry up!"
"Well I'm not running to you un!"
Sasori turned his head to look at the approaching blonde still pulling on his cloak. "Have you always been this slow or were you just born that way?"
"Whatever."
"Hmph."
"We only have to steal some scroll, right danna un?" Deidara asked a bit gruffly as he walked up to his partner, adjusting his hat on his head. He didn't get why they had to wear them. He already had one eye hidden from sight, and having this hat covering up the only other one he could see out of wasn't his idea of comfort. He was like a walking blind man... Now I know how Itachi feels hmm...
Not to say that the Uchiha was completely blind yet.
But if the amount of walls he had walked into lately had anything to say about it, he would be very soon.
Sasori was just opening the hatch of Hiruko when Deidara came up beside him. He stuck out an arm to make sure the idiot didn't keep walking past and then knocked the hat off the blonde's head. "You don't need to wear that today. We're using your scope so you'll actually need to see what you're doing instead of needlessly blowing shit up."
Deidara goofily grinned. "Oki-doki!"
Sasori scowled, climbing into Hiruko. "Don't do that."
"You never answered my question," Deidara said, lips forming a smile half the original size it had been. "Are we getting a scroll or not?"
"Don't get an attitude," Sasori snapped. "Of course we are. It's the only thing Leader-san ever sends any of us out for anymore! And it's all just to fill his newly built library that none of us even go in."
"Talk about an attitude," his partner said with a smirk. "Well- I guess we should get going then danna."
"Aa... Let's just hope that things don't go wrong on this mission," Sasori muttered.
Deidara gave him an odd look and tried to reach out to touch him.
A bit freaked out, Sasori quickly closed Hiruko's hatch over his head and started to shuffle out the base.
Deidara followed with a frown.
A frown that stayed on for the entire mission.
Even when they successfully stole their assigned scroll and Sasori allowed Deidara to blow up the fancy-looking mansion it was in.
"…Aren't you going to go on a rampage about how beautiful the explosion was brat?" Sasori questioned to break the quite awkward silence that had fallen over them as they walked through a forest path.
"Will you come out of Hiruko?" Deidara asked, brows furrowed and gaze straight ahead.
"No." Sasori didn't know why, but his partner seemed to really wanted him to come out of his puppet and it was kind of scaring him.
Deidara didn't say another word the whole way back.
Sasori was walking down one of the base's corridors, having safely taken himself out of Hiruko once he deemed Deidara 'not around'. He might have thought it a bit strange that his partner had been resolutely avoiding him every time he shuffled out in his puppet, but he was too busy trying to figure out ways to stay far from Deidara.
It was so odd how neither of them seemed to realize they were running away from each other.
Sasori's nerves were so far on end, that he was completely oblivious to his surroundings.
He only snapped back into reality when someone attempted to mug him.
"Roooaaarrrr!"
"Ahhh!" Sasori screamed as a flash of blue seized him.
"What. Did. You. Do?" Kisame cried, grabbing the redhead and pinning him up against the wall.
"You're crazy!" Sasori exclaimed, trying to push the man's arms away. "What are you even talking about?"
Kisame brought his face real close to Sasori's, almost so that their noses were touching. "I'M GOING MAAAAAAADDDDDD!" he roared.
"Well I can see that!" Sasori shouted. "Someone get this psycho off!"
A hand pulled Kisame away from him.
"Calm down Kisame," Itachi told his partner.
"But Itachi-!" the older man started to protest.
Itachi rolled his eyes. "Just go to your room until you calm down. Unless you want me to get Kakuzu so he can sedate you...?"
"I'm going!" Kisame said with a salute before pivoting on his heel and practically sprinting to his room down the hall.
Sasori rubbed his throat with wide eyes, staring after the Kiri nin. "What is wrong with that guy?"
"Ever since you and Deidara-kun came back from that mission, Kisame's been like this," Itachi explained. "Leader-san made it an order for Kakuzu to sedate him whenever he got on the loose."
"But why is he acting like that?" Sasori asked as he and the Uchiha began walking towards the Akatsuki's kitchen.
Itachi gave a slight shrug, barely noticable. "Because apparently Deidara-kun used to 'light up the world with his smile!'," he mockingly cheered before his smile dropped and expression went back into one of nuetrality. "Haven't you noticed? He hasn't smiled once since you guys arrived two days ago. What did you do to him?"
"Why does everyone assume I did something to the brat?" Sasori asked, bewilderment clear on his features. "We completed our mission without any trouble but he was moody long before that!"
Itachi cast him a sideways glance. "Then maybe you said something to him before you left."
Sasori furrowed his brows in thought, brown eyes narrowing. "I don't remember insulting him...All I told him was that I hoped our mission didn't go wrong. Then he tried to touch me so I hid in Hiruko." He looked at Itachi questioningly. "Is that a horrible crime back in Iwa or something?"
Itachi stared at him for a long time.
And then he laughed.
Loudly.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!"
Sasori blinked and stopped walking, looking at the normally passive Uchiha with large eyes. "Um..."
Just as quickly as it started, the laughing stopped, and Itachi straightened up, face blank. "Sasori. You are an idiot."
The puppet openly gaped as the dark-haired man walked away, leaving him outside the kitchen doorway.
"What the hell is wrong with everyone...?"
It seemed that by the end of the week, everyone but Sasori had realized why Deidara was so upset.
And it pissed him off.
He was the brat's partner for Kami's sake!
"Stupid people in this stupid organization," he muttered as he stalked down the hallway. He was too angry to bother hiding in Hiruko today. "Every time they see me, all they do is start laughing and walk away. I'd give them a piece of my mind if Leader-san hadn't been laughing along with them..."
As it was, Sasori had only seen his partner once during the day. And it was after he was coming out of the bathroom he had hidden in after Kisame broke out of his room and tried to maul him again.
~X~
"Kisame needs to see a therapist...and so does Itachi...and Kakuzu...and Zetsu..." Sasori grumbled, head bowed in thought as he went through every possible meaning his words to Deidara could have meant.
So far nothing had come to mind...
"Sasori-no-danna!"
Sasori's head snapped up, eyes widening as he saw a certain someone barreling straight for him with his cloak and hat on. Oh sh-
"We have a mission un-"
Sasori blinked as Deidara ran headfirst into the doorframe.
"Ow..."
Sasori stared at his partner's unmoving form before stepping over his body and walking out of the bathroom. "Take off your hat moron..."
~X~
And thus his current state as he went to meet up with his partner for their mission.
"Alright brat let's-"
Sasori stopped inside the living room doorway.
Everyone was there, lounging around as if they hadn't noticed his presence. And they all wore identical grins, as if they were all in on an inside joke.
Sasori was not happy.
"Hello Sasori," Pein greeted from his position on the couch. His eyes were flashing in amusement.
All attention snapped over to him.
"What are you staring at?" Sasori hissed, stepping inside the room.
They just started cracking up.
"I hate you all," Sasori muttered, slapping himself in the forehead. "Where's Deidara? We have a mission and I want it go well without him running into anything," he said, looking around the room for the absent blonde.
Suddenly his partner was in front of his face, rearing his head back before bashing it into Sasori's.
"Holy shit!" Sasori shouted, stumbling back a step.
"Ow un..." Deidara said before laughing.
"I'm going to kill you..." Sasori growled, holding his throbbing head. "What was that for?" he seethed from beneath his hand.
Deidara smiled for the first time that week, stepping back to rub the growing red welt on his forehead. "I thought you knew..."
"Knew what?" Sasori yelled as the others in the room started snickering.
The blonde smirked. "Knock on wood."
"..."
"..."
"...What?"
"It's an expression danna un," Deidara said as if that explained everything. He walked past the baffled man to wait in the doorway, motioning to his older partner. "Come on- let's complete this mission without any trouble."
Sasori was puffing in anger at being left out on something so stupidly obvious, even as the rest of the members leapt up from their respective seats to knock him to the ground and try to punch his face in.
"Don't jinx yourself bitch!" Hidan exclaimed with a grin.
"Happy travels~ Happy travels~" Kisame sang as he clapped from side-to-side.
"Tobi sure likes to tackle people!" Tobi screamed in his ear.
Sasori felt a vein pop. "All of you GET THE HELL OFF!"
Deidara merely snickered and started to leave the premises.
Because once Sasori got up- he was so a dead man.
A/N: Better start running now Dei...
XD Honestly- who stops smiling for a week because of that? I can't go a day without grinning! And I can't laugh without smiling either. I don't think you can actually...
Five bucks says half of you tried to laugh and not smile~