AN: I did have lyrics in this oneshot, but I have been informed that this is not allowed, so I have removed them. I highly recommend listening to 'Flares' by The Script while reading this, as I feel it sets the mood, and I did originally write this to go with the song. Enjoy :)
The night is unusually frigid. Fili paces up and down the length of his room, waiting impatiently for Dis to light the fire in the living room so he can warm his fingers. Outside, it has just begun to snow. Fili gazes out of the window, watching the cold flakes drift down from the white sky overhead.
His name is called, and he looks behind him to see his mother gesturing for him to come into the main room. With a last look out of the glass, he turns and walks to Dis, grabbing an extra jumper on the way.
A bang echoes through the house. Standing in the doorway, melting snowflakes in his beard is his Uncle Thorin. Hard blue eyes meet soft cobalt and the latter looks away respectfully. Dis immediately begins to harass her brother, telling him how he could've caught cold from being outside for so long. Fili simply pulls on his jumper.
Thorin bears the abuse patiently, sharing an amused look with Fili when Dis' all-seeing gaze is averted. Fili grins, but manages to wipe the smile off his face before Dis turns back, holding out a blanket to Thorin. He takes it ruefully. He is not in the mood to argue.
Fili knows why Dis is being like this – it is hard for him as well, with his brother out in the cold. He cannot help glancing to the door every few minutes, and knows Dis does, too. Their eyes meet sometimes, and Fili sees his worry reflected tenfold.
A thought creeps, unbidden, into his mind.
Is Kili lost to him?
He dismisses this, not wanting to think that Kili might be in trouble. He knows that his younger brother can handle himself; otherwise Thorin would never have let him go hunting on his own. Fili smiles, knowing how persistent his brother can be when he wants something.
Laughter resounds through the house. Kili dodges the grasping hands of his mother as she demands to know what he has done this time. Fili hides around the corner, waiting with bated breath for his brother to come crashing through the doorway.
Scowling, Thorin enters the room with Kili's bow clutched in his hand. Kili runs through the doorway and Fili jumps out, grabbing his brother and restraining him with a firm arm around his waist. The elder drags his younger brother into the main room, where their Uncle still stands. Thorin gives Kili one of his famous looks, saying without words that if he doesn't behave himself, then he will not be allowed to go out at all today.
Kili immediately throws off his brother and straightens, and apologies with such grace that Thorin cannot help but smile. Fili rolls his eyes, wishing that his brother wouldn't pull pranks in the first place. But then he changes his mind, realizing that Kili wouldn't be Kili if he didn't do idiotic things such as this.
Thorin returns Kili's bow, and the excited young Dwarf runs for the door. An unexpected figure steps before it. Kili doesn't manage to stop in time and slams into his mother. Dis doesn't say anything; she simply hands Kili his coat. Fili chuckles, thinking that his brother would leave his head behind if it was possible.
Kili whines good-naturedly, pulling on his coat and grabbing his quiver from where it is leaning against the wall. Grinning, he salutes his family before rushing out of the door. Dis runs after him, passing the dark-haired archer some gloves and a spare apple. Kili gives his mother his signature cheeky grin and soon disappears into the snow, his coat camouflaging him in the bright flurries.
Fili watches him go, silently wishing him luck for the hunt ahead. Hopefully his little brother will bring them back a rabbit or two – or even a deer if he is lucky. Fili knows not to get his hopes up; the weather is cold enough that all the sane animals will be trying to stay warm, not wandering around the forest for hunters to shoot.
But Kili is a good hunter, and an even better shot. He will be fine.
His feet sink into the deep snow as he trudges forward, shoulders hunched painfully against the wind. The whiteness stretches on for miles, accentuating how far he still has to go. Another gust of wind throws the fluffy snowflakes into his face and he splutters, before wrapping his coat more tightly around his body and yanking his clumsy boots out of the snow.
Kili adjusts the bow strung over his back, scowling at the lack of game. He walks another few steps and feels the cold finally penetrate through his thick boots. Scowling, he jumps up and down a few times. He only succeeds in burying his feet deeper in the snow. Wobbling, he throws out his hands to stop his fall, wincing as the snow works its way inside his gloves. Glancing down, he sees that one of his arrows has fallen out of his quiver. As he crouches to pick it up with his good arm, the wind rushes again, sending him sprawling face-first back into the snow.
He lies there for a moment, seeing nothing but white. At least he didn't manage to catch any game. He would've had to leave it behind. His strength is gone. Disappointment crashes into him and steals his breath. He would've been forced to his knees where he not already in the snow. What would Uncle Thorin think of him? What would Fili think?
He shudders and screws his eyes shut. But with a groan, Kili pushes himself up, knowing that his family would be even more disappointed in him if he didn't return home soon, game or no game.
At home, there will be a nice warm fire, Kili tells himself. Hot food, even though he hasn't brought Dis any fresh meat, and a cozy bed where he can snuggle down, buried underneath all his blankets. He can hide from the deep snowdrifts, the snow-covered trees and the endless snow that steals all memory of colour.
Stepping through the imprint of his body, Kili continues to slog along, leaving deep footprints trailing behind him. Leaves rustle and he whips around, adrenaline beginning to pump through his veins. The wind has returned.
Kili glowers at the offending tree which leaves had crackled, hating the wind that blows cold snowflakes past his frozen ears. His shoulder twinges as he raises his arms in an attempt to warm the fog in his head, reminding him of earlier events.
Fitting an arrow to his bow, Kili crouches, hidden behind a tree. A deer stands nearby, unknowing of the fate it is about to meet. Kili takes a few deep breaths to prepare himself. He needs to get a clean shot, or the deer may escape, wounded. He doesn't want that to happen. Not only might it attract more dangerous animals, he will have to give chase.
Just as Kili releases his arrow, the wind blows through the treetops far above and the deer bolts. Startled by the sudden movement, Kili is thrown off balance and plunges down headfirst into the snow.
Groaning, Kili sits up and rotates his shoulder. He pats the ground and finds a tree root where his shoulder had fallen. The root receives a scathing glare as Kili carefully stands up, looking around at the white trees. There is no sign of the deer, or any other animals.
After waiting for a while longer, stubbornly refusing to admit that the deer is gone, Kili pads over to the deer tracks and gazes through the forest. Does he want to follow them, or should he return home before a storm hits?
Kili has barely asked himself the question before his feet start moving, taking him back towards home, and safety.
Dis is sure it was a bad idea to let her youngest go out alone.
Call it what what you will; a mother's anxiety, that feeling in your gut when you know something is wrong – Dis has it.
She bustles around, making sure Fili is warm enough, glaring at Thorin when he annoys her too much, and tidying everything in her sight. She laments the fact that her house gets so cold. Every now and then she sends a subtle glance towards Fili if she thinks he isn't sitting close enough to the fire.
"Mum!"
Perhaps she isn't so subtle.
Dis hides her discomfort the best she can, retreating to the kitchen to make Kili's favorite biscuits. She knows it won't bring him home, but she makes batch after batch after batch, only stopping when Thorin's hand lands on her shoulder, dragging her from her thoughts.
Thorin pulls her into an embrace and Dis allows herself to relax in her brother's arms. She clutches the front of his tunic with batter-covered fingers and voices her concerns. Thorin waves them away, explaining that he would have never let Kili go out on his own if his nephew wasn't competent enough.
Dis pulls back, sensing eyes on her. She smiles at her other son, who stands curiously in the doorway. He asks softly whether his brother is going to be all right in the snow, and she cannot hide her hesitation before she nods. Fili is a clever boy, she knows, and he sees what she is thinking.
Dis blinks, feeling tears well up in her eyes. Why is she so upset, she asks herself? Kili will be back soon, and he can sit by the fire and annoy his brother like he loves to do.
Forcing back tears, she leaves the kitchen and some half-made biscuits. Dis walks over to the fire and sits by her son, who has returned to his place and is gazing into the fire. Dis wonders what he sees in the dancing flames. Does he see his brother?
Dis jumps when another body settles down on her other side. She scowls when she hears a light chuckle. Instead of giving her brother a verbal beating, she resists the strange urge to lean against him and settles for stroking Fili's hair instead.
Together, they wait.
The fire flickers, sending shadows streaming across the walls and through the air. Fili gazes deep into the flames, not flinching when the logs move and sparks fly. It is too late in the evening. Kili should be back by now, even in the snow.
Fili is sure there is something wrong.
He knows his brother. He knows that his brother is perfectly capable of looking after himself – but that does not stop his whirling thoughts. What if his brother has been captured? What if he is hurt and lost and frightened?
Fili does not want to think that Kili is alone – for Fili is always with his brother; if not in flesh, then in mind. Fili likes to think that they are connected; that they share a special bond. Sometimes he even knows that they do.
Throwing off the many blankets draped over his shoulders, he stands up and strides purposefully over to the corner of the room. Ignoring Dis' questioning, he picks up his twin swords and sheathes them. He begins to pull on his boots. Dis stands and grabs Fili by his shoulders. He tries to shake her off, but she is having none of it. Thorin is standing now, eyes fixed on his nephew.
Fili explains slowly and clearly that he is going out to find his brother. Dis' dismayed cries are lost when Thorin exclaims that he will not allow his other nephew to venture out into the snow.
Alone.
Looking into Thorin's eyes, Fili sees the regret that lingers there. His uncle blames himself for allowing Kili to hunt in this weather, he grasps. Thorin thinks that he should be with his nephew.
But Fili knows that is his fault his brother is alone. He should be with him. They are inseparable; why is his brother alone?
It is the thought that Kili, his little brother, could be hurt and cold and desperate for help that makes him nod to his uncle. Thorin nods back and Fili pulls on his remaining boot.
Dis' cries increase in pitch, and Thorin takes her aside and tells her that he will not rest until Kili is found. Fili glances over; his mother is barely holding herself together. Now both her nephews will be outside. Straightening, he hands his uncle his sword, and they step out into the cold.
A forlorn cry bursts from frozen lips as Kili stumbles over yet another snowdrift. His legs threaten to buckle beneath him. He curses the weight of his heavy coat, forever dragging him towards the snow-covered earth. His too-big boots slide around on his numb feet, and Kili has to keep looking down to make sure they haven't fallen off.
Tears freezing in his eyes, he staggers on, mind focused solely on placing one foot in front of the other. He wonders if his family is worried, if they are huddled around the fire and thinking of him.
He doubts it.
He knows that Fili, at least, will be worried about him, and perhaps his mother, but he is sure that Thorin will make his brother remain at home, despite any protests Fili might make. And Fili won't fight Thorin, instead trusting his judgment.
Kili sighs. His breath condenses before his eyes, and he watches without interest as the small droplets fall. He is just glad that Fili will not have to see his own breath freeze in front of him.
His brother is safe at home, in front of the warm fire. His mother will be next to him, stroking his hair and whispering in his ear that everything will be alright. Thorin will be smoking his pipe in a chair, the smoke concealing his eyes.
A rock catches his foot and Kili trips, landing in the snow with a thud. He groans, not even trying to get up. He lies where he has fallen. The world spins before his eyes. He smiles.
He calls out to his brother, wishing Fili was beside him to see the shapes blurring before his eyes. The colours dance, white becoming blue before changing to silver.
Kili shakes his eyes and frowns. No, he doesn't want his brother to be here. That's what he was thinking about before the lights appeared, wasn't it?
Thorin won't let Fili out in the cold, Kili knows. His uncle has to keep his heir safe. Kili's body shudders again, and he cannot contain a small sob. Sometimes, he wishes that his uncle would spend more time with him, and not his brother. But that is a selfish thought, and so Kili does not dwell on it.
Dis will keep Fili safe, too. She adores her first son, and will do anything to protect him. And she is right to do so. Kili knows that his brother is more accomplished than him. Dis has every right to be proud of Fili. Even so, Kili loves the moments when it is just him and her; her smothering hugs surrounding him and keeping him warm.
At the thought of warmth, Kili's body protested, shuddering violently. Another moan escapes him and his fingers clench. Kili struggles to free his hands from the confines of his gloves, eventually casting them aside. Maybe Fili will find them in the morning, when no one can keep him in the house.
Will his family find his body? Will they drop to their knees and weep? Or will they walk past him, his coat concealing him until spring returns and thaws the snow?
A snarl forces its way up, past Kili's icy lips and into the air. After pulling off his coat, he fists his hands together and begins to drag his unresponsive body through the snow. He will not die like this, forgotten in the snow and lying there like a coward!
But he cannot continue. Slumping into the snow, Kili rests his head and watches as the colors and patterns returned.
Kili's eyes widen as a bolt of red darts through the swirling vortex before him. It shatters the colours. He mourns the loss of the beautiful spinning, but marvels at the bright red dominating his vision.
He smiles as the red sparks off in different directions, thinking again at how much Fili would love the sight. Maybe Dis would see them as she glanced out of the window, and remake them to show Fili another day.
The light grows more intense, and Kili squints against the blinding red. He huddles down further into the snow. What is happening?
A moment ago, the red had been soft and comforting; the fire Fili was surely sitting in front of. Now, it is harsh and demanding. Kili whimpers, wishing for it to go away.
He whines to himself and curls up into a ball. He wants his brother. He wants the reassurance that Fili brings with him wherever he goes, and he wants to know that everything will be alright.
He doesn't want to feel the wind biting into his cheeks and rushing past his ears. He doesn't want to stay here, nestled in the snow.
But he doesn't have a choice.
His body refuses to move, and Kili finds that he doesn't want to. He has been lying long enough to create a small dip in the snow. The falling snowflakes no longer cause him to frown and scowl; they float down to land gently on his face and make him smile.
Perhaps this isn't so bad, Kili thinks to himself. He is comfortable and the cold doesn't bother him anymore. He knows that it should, and he should be worried that he can no longer feel his feet, but he cannot bring himself to care.
Kili wonders what will happen to his body after he is gone. Will animals get at it? Or will his family find it first? He doesn't know. Kili buries his face in the snow, thinking of his brother's face when his body is found.
Wide, blue eyes will fill with tears, sobs wracking his body as Fili tears at his golden hair.
Kili shakes his head to dispel the vision. At least his mother will still have one son when this night is over.
His breath fogging before his eyes, Fili scans the monotonous landscape before him. His uncle stands next to him, an imposing figure forcing him in the right direction. Fili wraps his arms around himself and shivers. Thorin mutters that they are standing quite near where Kili said he was hunting today. The smaller dwarf looks around desperately for any sign of life.
A sudden noise comes from the trees, startling Fili and making his heart leap. At the realisation that it is only a bird, Fili scowls. Worry for his brother translates into irritableness. He glances up at his uncle, who doesn't spare him a glance. Together, they look around for more signs of Kili.
Fili walks towards a tree, carefully stepping over a root sticking out from the base. He kicks the tree in agitation, taking out his concern over his brother on it. He ignores the throbbing in his foot, and crouches down, leaning against the thick trunk.
His eyelids slide closed and he stills, listening to the silence. Earlier, Fili had lit some flares in the hope that his brother might see them and know that they were searching for him.
As the night wears on, Fili is beginning to lose hope that his flares have been seen.
He puts a hand down to balance himself and his thoughts that threaten to topple him. A small dent in the deep snow makes him look down. His golden braids fall in front of his eyes. Pushing them back in annoyance, Fili sees an imprint in the snow. It is not of his hand.
Calling Thorin over, he gestures frantically to the dent. His uncle examines the indentation, making sure it was made by Kili while Fili stands next to him, only standing still with great willpower.
Finally, Thorin looks up and confirms that it was made by a dwarf of about Kili's size. Fili immediately turns on his heel and runs in the direction of his house, stopping after a few meters to send up one final flare.
Almost falling over his own feet in his hurry to reach his brother, Fili sprints through the snow, his arms flung out wide to retain his balance. He allows a sliver of hope to fuel him – if his brother is indeed this way, is he still conscious?
Fili does not let himself assume the worst.
Legs pumping, Thorin dashes through the snow, struggling to keep up with his young nephew. It has been a while since he has had to run this fast.
Thorin watches as Fili constantly scans the snow before him, always looking for signs of his brother. Brow furrowing, Thorin runs behind. Looking at Fili, looking at how his sister-sons seem to be linked by an unshakable bond, Thorin cannot help but be reminded of his own brother.
Frerin died too young. He was too inexperienced, too undeveloped. But Thorin knows that it is his own fault that his younger brother isn't running in the snow beside him.
Perhaps if he had spent more time with Frerin, if he hadn't gone off to train and had instead played toy soldiers, then he would still be alive, and Thorin would not have to deal with the everlasting guilt that plagues him every time he closes his eyes.
Looking to to avoid running into a tree, Thorin watches as Fili gives a shout and somehow speeds up, running past a dark lump in the snow.
Thorin slows to a halt and picks up the pair of gloves abandoned in the snow. Hope pierces his heart and makes his breath hitch.
Slowly, he looks up, blinking away the tears forming in his eyes before they can fall. Kneeling in the snow is Fili. Cradled in his arms is a familiar body.
With measured steps, Thorin approaches the brothers. Hearing muttered words, he too drops to his knees and holds Kili's hand. It is ice cold.
It is impossible, but and yet as Fili holds his brother close, the archer shudders and opens his eyes. A small smile graces his lips. The brothers whisper each other's names and the elder sobs, burying his head in the younger's tunic.
The sight is familiar to him, and Thorin is just glad that Kili is alive.
A warm body engulfs his own. Kili takes a deep breath, head lolling. He hears his name called anxiously. He groans, wishing the voice would go away and leave him in peace.
When the voice doesn't leave, Kili shifts in the warm arms, trying to return to his place in the snow. The arms don't allow him to do so. Kili is about to protest when he hears a sob shaking the body next to him.
His hand is taken and his body is cradled ever closer. Shuddering at the sudden heat, Kili opens his eyes and smiles at the flashes of light still in his visions. He hears his name again and looks down to see – impossibly – his brother, tears falling unashamed down his cheeks.
Whispering Fili's name, Kili watches as the elder places his head on his brother's chest, over his heart. Kili wonders why; he is alive, after all.
As darkness begins to bleed into his vision, Kili has one final thought.
Mum is going to be so mad at me.
AN: Hi there! I hope you enjoyed my first young!Fili and young!Kili oneshot. I'd like to thank Neocolai for being so supportive and for correcting all my mistakes. I couldn't have done this without you.
I'd also like to add that there is a thing called paradoxical undressing, which is a symptom of hypothermia. So when Kili begins to take off his gloves and boots, it is not just him being stupid (well, it is slightly, but let's not focus on that), it is because of the hypothermia.
If you have time, I would be very grateful if you could leave a review and tell me what you thought of this. If people like it, then I may write another (if I can think of anything to write about!), which I would like to do. Thank you for reading!