Um, here I am, this time screwing with the genius of Steven King's greatest book and Stanley Kubrick's (bows) masterpiece…r+r please!
(Crawford, Schu and Nagi are driving along a mountain toward a big hotel off in the distance. Schu is driving and Crawford sits in the passenger seat wearing a black wig with French braids. Nagi is in the backseat wearing a Mickey Mouse sweater and red tennis shoes*like Omi's!*)
Crawford and Nagi: *deadpan* Siko is dead…
Schu: Remind me once again *why* Takatori gave us this little vacation?
Crawford: Well, um, we're care taking for that hotel he just bought for himself…during the winter it's closed and everything…
Schu: Hm, Nagi needs to get out of the apartment anyway…it's not doing him any good to not socialize with any other kids. This trip could be good for him!
Crawford: Schuldig, we're going to a resort in a secluded wooded area of Colorado for the whole winter. Do you really think that could be good for Nagi's social life?
Schu: *Now* who's opposed to going?
Crawford: *crosses arms*
(the car pulls up to the hotel and the…"family" gets out. The hotel is huge and it looks like it's a hundred years old or so)
Schu: *whistles* Damn…I think we made out pretty nice with this…
Crawford: A whole hotel to ourselves alllllll winter…
Schu: (giggles) I've got some ideas of how to pass all that time, too.
Nagi: Oh, give me a break…
(Manx walks over to them and waves)
Manx: Hello, gentlemen, are you the new winter caretakers?
Schu: (grins) Yup, that's us!
Manx: Damn, I'm glad I'm not in your position…
Crawford: What?
Manx: Ahem, I'll be showing you around. Please follow me…
Crawford: Exactly what is the history of this hotel?
Manx: Well, it was built about a century ago on an Indian burial ground.
Schu: Um, isn't that kind of disrespectful to do?
Manx: Yes, which is why their angered ghosts still haunt the hotel grounds to drive the caretakers crazy and make them murder their families.
Schu and Crawford: What?!
Manx: Um, I didn't say anything. Why don't I show you to the ballroom?
(meanwhile, Nagi is walking around by himself in the kitchen. He is approached by Ken, who is wearing a chef's apron that says 'kiss the cook')
Ken: Hello, little boy…
Nagi: Um, my 'mom' and 'dad' say I shouldn't talk to child molesters.
Ken: How did you know about tha-uh, I mean, Nagi, you have a very special gift…
Nagi: *just stands there, staring blankly*
Ken: …aren't you going to ask how I knew your name?
Nagi: No.
Ken: Well, Nagi, you have…the shining!
Nagi: I don't really care.
Ken: ….
Nagi: ….
Ken: *bursts into tears* You're no fun! *runs away to find children to play soccer with*
Nagi: *sighs and walks off to find Schu and Crawford*
(Crawford, Schu and Manx stand in the ballroom at the bar)
Schu: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO ALCOHOL?!
Manx: We're not giving you free booze!
Schu: *cries* Why, why?!
Crawford: *sighs* Why did you do this to him? Do you realize I'll be hearing about this until freaking March now?!
Schu: My…JAGERMEISTER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!