Zed calls it a short mission to gather much-needed equipment after the mess of the Ixion Invasion. Zeeltor sees a research opportunity. X complains that those two have ended up with the easier job again. Elle, as usual, tells X to shut up. As for Jay, she calls it a much-needed vacation. Kay remains silent.
Or, how a galactic shopping trip is no easier than managing a Zeronian migration on earth.
genderbent!Jay, post MIB The Series
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
So, MIB The Series. Cool show from what I can remember. This fic's set after the events of the last episodes, where Kay and Jay fend off the Ixion Invasion, and of course, things go wrong for everyone.
(Hopefully a worthwhile attempt at humour.)
ON EARTH
Kay doesn't know exactly when it is that the dread starts to settle in-
"No frickin' way."
-but he can make a pretty good guess.
They're walking out of the construction zone, where Zed's busy directing the builders, Jay grinning ear to ear and Kay with an ever-growing sense of dread, because he can't shake the feeling this is not going to go well.
"I don't care what Zed says," Jay grins at Kay, who raises an eyebrow in return, "I'm still gonna call it a vacation."
"An intergalactic trip isn't all fun and games, you know," Elle remarks as the four of them make their way past the fences adorned with signs warning all agents to have protective gear on when inside the zone. "It could be dangerous."
"What I can't believe," X grumbles darkly as he pulls the hard-hat from his head and runs his fingers through his now-flattened-by-hat-hair, "is that you two ended up with the easier mission. Heck, it's not even a mission."
"Neither is sitting around here and 'overseeing any major security issues'," Jay shoots back, tugging off her own hard hat. "It's been way too quiet recently. Complain all you want, X, but I seriously doubt sitting around here is any harder than going on a glorified shopping trip."
"At least you get to travel."
Jay pokes her tongue out at X, and X does the same.
Elle rolls her eyes.
Kay hopes that, for once, his apprehension is uncalled for.
…
NOT ON EARTH
Kay's apprehension doesn't ease, not even when they board the spaceship.
It's a commercial flight out of earth and to the Andromeda Galaxy at hyperspeed - along with some other three-hundred-or-so passengers all seated into neat little rows. It's enough to make anyone claustrophobic - well, it would, if Kay or Jay could be counted as 'anyone'. Jay, for her part, has taken the window seat on his right and has her face pressed up against the glass and staring outside in wonder while Kay is simply much too unfazed to be bothered by claustrophobic spaceships.
Zeeltor, seated on Kay's left, is too busy studying Lucy the Colony of Bacteria to pay attention to anything around him. Officially, Zeeltor's there to ensure that the devices they're picking up - to replace the damaged ones buried under piles of rubble back at Headquarters - aren't defective and will live up to the constant demand of any MIB equipment. Unofficially, he's there to test the effects of artificial gravity on bacteria.
It's five minutes after take-off before Jay finally pulls back from the window and settles into her seat. Kay's hopes of a quiet flight are dashed as Jay starts to speak, "You know, I think this is my… third time into space?"
"Fourth," Kay corrects, not looking up from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol.
"Fourth?"
"Fourth if you count the Ixions."
"Oh," Jay says, then perhaps finally realises that Kay doesn't like to talk on long trips and goes silent. Or she's too interested by the lights streaking past the window - a side effect of travelling at hyperspeed.
Whatever the reason - and honestly, Kay doesn't really care at the moment - he's left in blessed silence, except for the occasional mutter from Zeeltor as he keeps a constant watch on Lucy.
At some point in the next two hours, when he glances up again at an odd, snuffling sound, Jay's nodded off, cheek against the glass and neck bent at an uncomfortable angle. The sound's coming from her slightly parted lips, and even as Kay watches, she makes a noise that might be passed for a snore.
Kay bites back a smirk.
It's so she doesn't complain for the rest of the trip, Kay tells himself as he moves Jay into a slightly more comfortable position and tugs the blanket more securely around her shoulders.
…
ON EARTH
X can't say for sure when exactly it all starts, but it's pretty clear what it starts with.
It starts with the pigeons.
He walks into the Lab in search of his little-eared partner, and stops short when he catches sight of the caged pigeons cooing in the usually sterile room. Every available flat surface has a cage sitting on it, and in each cage, is a wild-eyed and scruffy-looking pigeon. As one, all the pigeons swivel their heads to stare at him.
Creepy as !#$%, X thinks, and carefully edges his way around the wild-eyed birds before calling out, "Hey, Little-Ears! You in here?"
"Don't touch them," Elle's flat tones warn him from somewhere within the depths of the cages. "I'm over here."
"What are they?" X wrinkles his nose at the birdy smell emanating from the pigeons.
"They're pigeons."
"Oh, no, I thought they were pterodactyls," X snarks, rolling his eyes. "I mean, what are they doing here?"
"We had reports of the birds acting oddly."
"They're pigeons. They're meant to be odd."
Before Elle can reply, there's a loud bang, and there's one less pigeon in the Lab.
"Not this kind of odd," Elle looks pointedly at a now not-quite-empty cage - it's filled with feathers, bits of a bird and a dark-coloured goo that X doesn't want to know about. "This is the sixth one this hour."
X can't think of anything to say, except for, "...the !#$% was that?"
"Was that in Hyperian?" Elle asks, interested in the swearword X used.
"What, you mean !#$%?" X thinks for a moment. "Yeah, I think it is."
"...I should learn Hyperian some day," Elle mutters as she swabs a sample of the goo from the cage.
"It's a disgusting language," X remarks as Elle transfers the goo to a slide and under a microscope.
Elle fiddles with the dials on the microscope. "All the better to insult people with."
...
NOT ON EARTH
Kay blinks awake, and the first thing he notices is that Zeeltor is gone from his seat - but Lucy is still sitting contently next to him, so the doctor can't have gone far - and the next thing he notices is the small weight against his shoulder to his right.
Oh, she had better not have…
Kay suppresses a sigh when he glimpses the top of Jay's head resting against his shoulder as he shifts slightly to look in her direction. Jay rarely does this, Kay thinks sourly, and the only reason she's done so now is because at some point in the flight, he's slouched down in his seat when he fell asleep, and now his shoulder's low enough for Jay to use as a convenient pillow.
Kay briefly considers nudging Jay awake, and decides to go through with it, before he notices the bags under her eyes. It's not as if he hasn't noticed them over the several past days, especially right after the Ixion invasion, but this is perhaps the first time he's taken a closer look at his partner…
...and she looks exhausted.
Just this once, Kay sighs and settles back into his chair, taking care to not jostle Jay too much. And if I see Zeeltor coming back, I'm shoving you off.
And later, when he feels Jay waking up and scrambling away from him in surprise and embarrassment, Kay pretends to be asleep.
...
ON EARTH
Elle rubs her eyes tiredly and makes a noise of annoyance.
X, who has been dozing off at one of the spare stools, blinks awake. "You figured out what it was, yet?"
"No," Elle shakes her head, and runs her fingers through her hair. "I can't identify what's in this goo, but it's definitely the source of whatever's doing this to the pigeons."
There's a faint rustle of feathers as a few pigeons move a little in their sleep.
"If Zeeltor was here," Elle sighs, "he'd know what's going on."
"Well," X says matter-of-factly, "he isn't."
"No pressure, right?" Elle responds sarcastically. "I'm calling it a night."
"Sure," X replies, and waits impatiently for Elle to gather her things before they leave the Lab, foot tapping against the ground in agitation.
"Are you packing up the whole lab with you?" X demands in irritation, and Elle glares at him.
Before she has a chance for a scathing response, the commlink to the Lab pings, and Zed's voice comes through.
"We've got a situation..."
Half an hour later, X still can't believe his ears as they're driving down the dim streets of New York at night.
"Zombies."
"Yep."
"Zombies."
"Yes."
"Zomb-"
"Finish that word," Elle growls warningly, "and I will make you walk there."
There's a short silence, before X replies, "Undead."
"X," Elle hisses, and X wisely falls silent on the matter of revenants. "No one knows for sure if they're zombies, or the undead. They're just… very aggressive sleep-walking people."
"You think the pigeons have anything to do with that?" X asks instead.
"I don't know- Look out!" Elle suddenly shouts, and there's a sickening, gloopy splat as something strikes the windshield and slowly slides down the glass. The car's screeched to a stop, thanks to X slamming his foot down on the breaks, and both agents stare in a mix of horror, disgust and fascination at the blob on the windshield.
Elle is the one to finally speak. "...is that a beak?"
Instead of answering, X exits the car and walks around to the front to look at the gooey mess. "I'm going on a hunch here, but I'll say maybe the pigeons do have something to do with this."
Elle's spectrometer is out and scanning by the time she reaches the ex-bird. "Nothing. No alien readings. It's from earth-"
The spectrometer blips momentarily, and Elle frowns. "X, did you see that?"
"The blip?"
"Yes," Elle peers around the dim streets, spectrometer held aloft. "It picked up something - and it wasn't you or the pigeon."
"I'm touched you'd put me in the same category as a flying rat-"
"This way," Elle starts running towards the source of the blips, and X follows closely behind.
"Don't you think," X asks as he draws his weapon, "running after a potential zombie in a dark alleyway is a bad idea?"
"First of all," Elle corrects him as they turn yet another corner, "they're not zombies. Secondly, no, it's not a bad idea. From the reports Zed gave us, they're not exactly tearing people apart or infecting anyone."
"For the moment," X mutters darkly. That's the last time I watch a horror movie with the Worms.
"Really, X," Elle says as they continue on, "do you have to be so cynical-"
She stops short, and X nearly bowls her over.
"What was that for?" X snaps, only to look at what had stopped Elle short. X looks at the swarming mass of… ghosts?
There's nothing else to say, but,
"What. The. #$%!."