Hey guys!

Sooo….there was a wonderful EO twitter account live tweeting Fault today, and you all know the end where Olivia goes to Cragen's office and tells him she wants a new partner? Well, that gave me an idea. We never got to see the actual conversation between Olivia and Cragen when she said that, so I got the idea to write this little piece here. I hope you guys like it!

Enjoy xoxo

Complicated [OneShot]

It had been one hell of a twenty-four hours for two of the most dedicated detectives of Manhattan's 16th precinct. A chaotic day that consisted of her throat being cut, them having a huge fight in the middle of the hallway outside their squad room, him having a gun to his head and begging her to shoot the psychotic pedophile they had been chasing, and him saying they had to stop choosing each other over the job or else they couldn't be partners and that he couldn't lose her...all of that had led to this moment now.

She hasn't slept all night. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face in her head, saw that look in his eyes, could hear his voice saying that they couldn't be partners if they were gonna continue to choose each other and that he couldn't bare to lose her. She had probably cried more in the last twenty-four hours than she had in the last ten years. She kept replaying it in her head, struggling hard to figure out what he meant. 'We both chose each other over the job, we can never let that happen again; otherwise we can't be partners.' She felt sick to her stomach every time the words replayed in her head. 'You and this job are all I have left anymore; I don't wanna wreck that - I couldn't take that.' Those words caused the tears to prick in her eyes. They both knew what this was about, but they were both too stubborn to admit it.

And scared - she was so fucking scared.

Elliot was everything to her. She was connected to him, more so than she had been with anyone, even with the people she dated in the past. They were more than partners and they both knew that, they were best friends, but it was deeper. They were connected in the mind and soul. They finished each other's sentences constantly and knew what the other was thinking. They made each other laugh and smile all the time. Elliot was really all Olivia had to look forward to on her days; he was everything. It scared her that this man - a man that she wasn't even dating, a man that was simply her best friend - had taken over her mind and her heart. She didn't know if he felt the same. Well, maybe yesterday proved that he felt the same. She didn't know. All she knew was that this shit was complicated, and it terrified her. She couldn't handle things getting complicated with him. When things got complicated, they got sour and she would end up losing the other party.

She couldn't lose Elliot.

She kept her head down as she stepped off the elevator and walked down the hall. She prayed to God that he wasn't in the squad room. Cragen - their Captain - had given them both a couple days off to get their heads together after the events of the previous days, but even if they were given a couple days off, it was normal for one of them to pop up to talk to Cragen or to get something from their desks. She was just hoping that he wasn't there because she couldn't face him right now.

"Hey Liv, what you are doing here, baby girl?"

She looked up; Fin was giving her a smile as he stood up to greet her. She draped her coat over her desk chair, forcing a smile onto her lips as she tried to hide the fact she had cried during the walk from her apartment to the precinct.

"I just needed to talk to Cragen about something," She spoke softly as she hugged him, "Is he in his office?" She gave Munch a small smile as well as he gave her a big hug.

"He's in there," Munch held onto her arm, "You okay?" She could tell he was trying to get a read on her, but she brushed him off and smiled a little more.

"I'm okay, I promise." She assured them both. She then squeezed their arms before making her way across the room. Cragen's door was closed, so she knocked, waiting a couple seconds before she heard the "Come in!". She opened the door and slipped inside before closing the door behind her. Cragen looked up, a concerned look on his face when he immediately noticed the solemn look on his detective's face.

"Olivia, what's up?"

She swallowed hard, blinking a bit before finding the strength to say the words;

"I want a new partner."

She watched as her boss dropped his pen from his hand, his eyes widening in shock. She bit her lip and shifted her gaze to the floor. She didn't want to see that look on Cragen's face. She didn't want him to talk some sense into her or tell her she was overreacting to a stressful twenty-four hours. He just wanted her to ask why so she could provide him with some believable answer, so he would say yes, and then she would be on her way.

She knew it wouldn't be like that though. She and Elliot were the faces of this unit. They gave Cragen headaches and he was always sticking his neck out for them, helping them to keep their shields and to stay out of trouble with Internal Affairs when they pulled their stunts, but he loved them, and he loved the work they did. They were like the dynamic duo of the New York City police department, they were the longest partnership within this unit especially. Cragen would see right through any bullshit answer she would come up with. She sighed as she forced herself to look up; Cragen had pulled the blinds closed and was now perched on the edge of his desk, eyeing his detective that was standing before him.

"Okay," he rubbed his jaw; "Does this have to do with yesterday? Liv, I gave you both a couple days off so you'd both calm down."

"We need a change." She muttered, leaning against the wall with her arms folded across her chest. Cragen raised an eyebrow; Olivia knew he was trying to read her - and it wouldn't be long before he figured out what was really going on.

"Since when?" He asked.

"Look," She sighed, "Yesterday just really took it out of us both and proved that we needed a change; you saw how we blew up at each other in the hallway? We need to be apart."

"Yeah, I saw that," Cragen folded his arms across her chest; "But I also know that this isn't the first time that you two have blown up at each other like this and you give it right back, so try again."

"But for him to question my ability to do my job was out of order, and if he doesn't think I can do my job then maybe we don't need to be partners." Olivia argued, narrowing her gaze at her boss.

"Liv, I agree that Elliot should have never said that to you; you and I both know he didn't mean it though," he stood up, placing a hand on her shoulder, "Who saved his ass last night? You – so you know Elliot didn't mean what he said to you. Is that what this is about? Do you two need a couple more days off?"

"I just don't want to be Elliot's partner anymore," she blinked back the tears that had sprung into her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat; "Pair me up with Munch or Fin or let me go solo – or I'll go get my transfer papers and be gone completely."

She turned to head out of the office, her hand on the door handle when she heard her boss's voice; "Olivia – tell me what's going on."

She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing again to steady her voice; "Nothing – I'm fine."

"Try looking at me and saying that," Cragen spoke gently; "Liv, I've been on the force since before you were born probably; I can read people very well and sense when something's off, and something is off about this whole conversation."

She tried to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks but hearing Cragen speak to her in that gentle voice that he had used a few times over the years when he was trying to get through to her or help her through something was what broke her down. She couldn't hide these tears from him and she wouldn't even try; she simply turned around, looking at him with pleading eyes as thick tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Just let me leave, please." She whimpered.

"Not until you tell me what's really going on," he told her as he handed her a tissue, "Why don't you want to be Elliot's partner anymore and why are you even considering leaving the unit? Yesterday probably had a hand in this sudden announcement, so tell me what's going on."

The concern in Cragen's eyes and that calm, gentle voice was enough to set Olivia off; she opened her mouth to speak but suddenly started crying. Her body shook slightly as she sobbed quietly; Cragen gently took hold of her arms and urged her to sit down. She did so in one of the chairs in front of his desk, and he sat in the chair next to her, turning it slightly so that he was facing her. She buried her face into her hands, sniffling slightly whilst Cragen gently rested a hand on her back. He knew she needed to get this out first; he had known from the look in her eyes when she walked in that it wouldn't take much to set her off crying. He just needed to know what was going on, though really, he already had an idea of such.

Her sobs subsided after a couple minutes, reducing to sniffles though tears continued to fall down her cheeks. He kept his hand resting on her back as he looked at her, urging her to tell him what was going on. She swallowed a bit, keeping her gaze fixated on her hands as she began speaking.

"Me and Elliot – we…fuck…" she ran her fingers through her hair, "Dammit, Cap, I just…yesterday…almost fucking losing him, that messed me up. When Gitano had that gun to his head, when I was faced with the decision of risking Elliot's life in hopes of taking out Gitano or missing altogether and Elliot dying – that messed me up. Elliot's my best friend and I can't lose him, he means…he means too much to me and that really fucking scares me to admit that, but he does…he…he…"

She ended up crying again. Cragen shuffled closer and pulled her into a hug; she rest her head on his shoulder and shook slightly as she began sobbing again. He rubbed her back gently. He hated seeing her so upset; she was like a daughter to him and having his normally cool, calm, and collected detective suddenly appear so broken before him actually frightened him. He had known that this had something to do with what her and Elliot had dealt with the day before, and he knew there was more to it.

"You and Elliot really need to talk; you need to talk to him before you make any crazy decisions, Liv," he rubbed her arm as she sat up properly again, "You two are tight; you two will get through this, maybe I do need to separate you as partners or something, but leaving the unit, Liv?"

"I just can't around him." She sniffled, shaking her head.

"But why-"

"Because I love him," she choked out as some more tears fell down her cheeks,

"Fuck, yesterday just made me realize that I love him so much and I think he might love me back, but he can't do that; I'm no good for him, and I just can't deal with this and be his partner anymore, looking at him every day, knowing that I will do nothing but hurt him if we cross that line; I just love him and I can't stop, but I can't stay here."

Olivia had finally said the words. Cragen had known this would happen, from the first second that he introduced them to each other seven years earlier. He had known then from the way they clicked, the way they looked at each other, the smiles and lingering looks they shared over the years – he knew that something like this would happen. He had watched it happen over the last few months – an increase in touches, increase in the lingering looks; more so Elliot staring at her when she wasn't watching. He had also noticed them leaving together lately or coming into work chuckling together about things that nobody else found funny. Though there was a lot of good energy between the pair at the moment, he had noticed their fights lately. He knew too well that the type of fights that Elliot and Olivia were having lately were due to the fact that they had fallen for each other but were desperately trying to repress it.

He also knew that yesterday had finally brought it all to the surface and laid it on the table for them both. From the morning's events when Olivia had a slash delivered to her neck from Gitano's knife, to the evening when Elliot had a gun to his head and Olivia was the one who had to decide to talk Gitano down or pull the trigger, which was a risk to Elliot's life. Both parties had almost lost each other the day before, hence why Cragen had given them both a couple days off to get their heads together. He hadn't expected Olivia to come into his office with talk of switching partners or leaving the unit, but now, he knew what this was really about.

And he also knew that she was scared and ready to run away from it all; that's what Olivia did when things got complicated – and this was truly complicated.

"Olivia, you're a great person so you and I both know you wouldn't hurt Elliot, so don't say that," the seasoned officer sighed, speaking to his detective in a calm voice; "You and Elliot are complicated to say the least, but I know it's because you both love each other – because I do think he loves you too. You two just need to talk about this, figure out what's going on inside your heads."

"I can't do that, Cap; I can't talk to him," she sniffled, shrugging her shoulders, "Elliot said last night that we can't be partners if we're gonna keep choosing each other over the job, but fuck…Cap, how can you let the person you love die? I'm his partner, it's my job to make sure he gets home safe anyway, but I'm in love with him too and I would choose Elliot over this damn job a million times over; I would save his life over and over again, because I can't lose him."

She then wiped her eyes with a tissue again, before looking at him with red rimmed, watery eyes; "But he said that me and this job are the only things that he has left anymore, and he couldn't take it if he wrecks it-"

"And you know Elliot would choose you over this job, over and over again," Cragen told her; "I've watched you two over the years and especially over these last few months Olivia, that's why I'm telling you to go talk to him about how you're feeling, see what he says. If something happens, I won't tell IAB a thing unless absolutely necessary; but you need to talk to him first."

Olivia simply shook her head, sniffling slightly as she stood up again.

"I can't do this to Elliot, I just can't," she shrugged, "Just please, let me go somewhere else – I just need to get away; he deserves a better partner."

"Liv think about this-"

"I have thought about it," she swallowed, folding her arms across his chest, "I have to go; I love him, but I need to go – we need a change, he deserves better."

"Olivia-"

"Captain," she breathed out, looking at him again as tears slipped down her cheeks; "Please?" her voice came out no higher than a whisper.

Cragen sighed, before going around to the other side of his desk again. He knew there was no changing her mind when she had it made up about something, and while he disagreed with this completely, maybe it was best for her and Elliot to take some time away from each other. Besides, maybe some time apart would help them both come to terms with whatever this thing was they were dancing around. All these underlying feelings and stuff; all the two of them did was dance around it, and though Olivia had just admitted it to him, he knew she wouldn't admit this to Elliot. He already had the feeling that Elliot felt the same, but he wouldn't admit it to Olivia of course. The two were too stubborn to admit something like this, no matter how great it could be. They were scared of screwing up and losing each other, and Cragen knew that if they lost each other, it would crush them both.

"I think Computer Crimes has an opening," he told her, looking at her as she stood against the wall, "Go home, and I'll call you tomorrow with your reassignment."

She nodded, mouthing a quick 'thank you' before turning to go out.

"Liv."

She stopped, looking over her shoulder at her boss, whom was looking at her with a solemn expression on her face.

"At least tell him this – he'll want to know."

She bit her lip, before shaking her head; "I can't – it's too complicated."

She then left the office, rushing across the room with her head down. She grabbed her coat and slipped it on before muttering a quick goodbye to Munch and Fin, before leaving out of the squad room. She just wanted to go home and cry while thinking about this complicated mess that was her partnership with a man that meant everything to her.

And with her quick exit from the main doors of the squad room, she didn't notice the blue-eyed detective that had entered Cragen's office through his side door, the very detective that had started his conversation with;

"Cap; I think I screwed up with Liv."

Anddddd there we have it. Leave some reviews please! Until next time... xoxo