Disclaimer: This story is based on a challenge provided by the BFFAAC. I do not own any part of the Buffyverse. Sad, but such is life. Those who do own it certainly know who they are. This story takes place in (sort of) an alternate universe. Feedback is appreciated, but flames will be used to fuel my brand-new rocketship. (These giveaways in the mail are something else nowadays!)
Note: This is the first in an intended trilogy of stories.
Dedication: To Megg, cross-and-staker and beta-reader extraordinaire. Your comments made me laugh and glow with pride. Much thanks. Oh, and to my muse, who returned from his vacation in Oklahoma (he was visiting his second cousin once removed) to aid me in my return to fanfic.
~*~*~*~*~*
September 30th, 1997
I've had a crush on him since the first time we met.
I know it's wrong, but I honestly can't help myself. Every time I try to extinguish the thoughts of him tumbling around in my brain, I get burned instead. I feel guilty afterward, but all it takes is one look at him to bring the secret smile back to my lips. It's a childish infatuation…it has to be. But don't infatuations fade with time? Mine seem to get more powerful every day. I can't tell whether it's my heart or my mind speaking to me anymore. I don't know if I want to know, because I'm afraid of what my heart might say. Do I want these feelings or don't I?
I drew a picture of him once. I never knew I could draw until I daydreamed in the library during a research "party" one day. When I snapped out of my daze, it was there on paper. The object of my infatuation, lying out in the open for the world to see. I blushed furiously as I gathered up my things, shoving the picture deep into my backpack, hoping it would get lost in there somehow. Hoping that when I got home to do my homework it would be gone, and I'd only find my calculus problems.
The drawing is now sitting in a frame next to my computer.
I hide it whenever anybody comes over. I even hide it when I'm all alone. I'm ashamed of myself for falling for such an off-limits guy. Our relationship is fine the way it is…we're friends. Sure, I still wish we could spend more time together, but what if I aroused suspicion? I don't think I could live with the embarrassment. We actually grew a lot closer over the summer while Buffy was gone. He had a lot more free time then, not worrying about her. Sure he's kind of odd, and somewhat guarded, but he's also really loyal.
I want the courage to talk to him about it. Maybe if I reveal my feelings to him, I'll be able to finally decipher whether it really is a silly crush…or something more. Courage…that's something no one expects Willow Rosenberg to have. Shyness, knowledge, lack of fashion sense, yes, but courage? Sometimes I wish I could be someone else. A confident someone else, who would just march right up to him and just blurt it out….you know what? I'm going to do it.
Tonight….
~*~*~*~*~*
December 8th, 1998
…tonight I'll finally do it.
I chickened out over and over again after I failed that
night. All I could do was mutter gibberish. Plus, I hadn't wanted to put him
through any more pain than he had already gone through. But I really don't care
anymore. I've got the courage, and the fashion sense to boot. The meek Willow
Rosenberg has ceased to exist. I'll tell him, and I know he'll want me. In
fact, I'm walking the dark Sunnydale streets right now, looking for him. He's
probably at home, not having any idea what's about to happen. I want him, and
I'll have him.
Finally, I arrive. Geez…waiting for someone to answer the door's a real bitch, isn't it?
The latch slips. He's unlocking the door. This is it Rosenberg,
final showdown.
"Willow?"
He said my name. And he didn't sound unhappy to see me.
"Willow? What's wrong?"
I muster a happy Willow smile, but it's hard.
"Can I come in? I have something to tell you."
He invites me in, and I close the door behind us. This is it. I walk to the middle of the room before turning around to speak.
"I have a confession to make. I like you. I like you a lot, as a matter of fact. I want us to be together…we could have…fun."
He stares at me in astonishment. But who can blame him? This is me we're talking about. Well, the old me. I've changed since last year. Especially in the past few days.
"Willow, what…?"
I walk up to him and place a finger to his lips.
"We can be together…" I say, leaning in closer to his face.
He looks bewildered, and just a little scared. Good.
"…Forever…" I continue as I shift my focus and sink my fangs deep into his neck.
He gasps, shock and betrayal filtering across his features. Not to worry, he won't feel the same way tomorrow. His blood is rich, swimming with emotion. Fear, hurt…I love it.
"Just you and me…" I explain, shifting my position in order to force him to drink the blood seeping from a cut high on my chest.
His dead eyes stare at me as I cradle him in my arms. Tomorrow night won't come soon enough. I gaze at him, finally realizing that I've won. He's mine. I allow myself a small chuckle, and just a trace of a satisfied smile. I trace a red fingernail slowly down his blood-soaked cheek as I finish speaking.
"Willow…and Giles."