Ch 1: It's All About the Jewels
"I don't see why I have to wear this?" Red grumbled, staring at himself in the mirror. The 'crown-thing' was pretty, but far too delicate for his tastes.
"It shows that you are my Queen and Consort," Leonard insisted.
"Again, I'm not sure why I need to have two titles. One is more than enough," Red sighed, throwing his husband a look.
"The title of Queen indicates that you are married to the King. The title of Consort means that you are male, not female. A 'consort' normally has less power than the Queen, so both titles indicate that you are male, and have the power of a Queen in our kingdom," the pig explained calmly.
"All this royalty stuff seems needlessly complicated. Do we have to dress up for the portrait? We don't normally wear clothes; and everyone here knows who we are," Red complained.
The bearded pig clasped his blue cloak around his neck, before letting out a deep sigh. He truly did adore his avian mate, but sometimes Red argued over the silliest things. Striding across the room, Leonard came to a stop behind the petite bird, his hoof coming to rest firmly on his silk-clad shoulder. "Do you really hate it that much, or are you just complaining for the sake of complaining?"
Red blinked up at him, then ducked his head in embarrassment. "Sorry, I just… don't see why this is necessary."
"I know," Leonard said, squeezing the bird's shoulder for support. "Being a member of the royal family comes with certain expectations, and you're not used to it yet. I appreciate you doing this for me. The crown isn't that bad, is it?"
"It's just… not my thing. Although, I'm pretty sure it's something Chuck would wear," Red stated, frowning into the mirror at the glittering crown on his head.
"Your little yellow friend does seem the type to enjoy shiny jewelry," Leonard chuckled. A troubling though crossed his mind, and he was quick to add, "Please don't give him permission to wear your crown… or mine."
Red threw a smirk over his shoulder at his green-skinned husband. "Don't worry, your crown jewels are safe with me."
Leonard couldn't help chuckling at that. Good thing they were alone in the wardrobe room.
"What? Did I say something weird again?" the avian asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't worry about it," Leonard stated, leaning down to give his adorable bride a kiss on the cheek.
He should have explained the joke. He really, REALLY should have explained the joke.
"Chuck, get back here with those! Leonard specifically said you weren't allowed to touch his crown jewels!"
"Come on, Red. I'm your best friend. You should learn to share!"
Around the table, Leonard could hear his advisors beginning to chuckle under their breaths. A yellow blurr raced into the room, leaped onto the main table, and came to a stop inches from the king's seated form. "Come on, Leonard. You don't mind if I touch your crown jewels, right?"
Every pig in the room went silent, hunching down in their seats as the king rose to his feet to tower over the idiotic bird. "Chuck…" Leonard began slowly, his anger simmering beneath the surface. The childish avian was perched on the edge of the table, his long beak inches from the pig's face. Around his neck were several priceless necklaces, and perched on his head was his queen's personal crown.
"Wow, you do not look happy. Is Red not giving you enough lovin' in the bedroom? Chuck jabbered mindlessly.
"Red is not the issue here, Chuck," Leonard growled.
"Really? Don't tell me you're actually upset about these shiny things," the yellow bird commented, pulling the end of one of the necklaces away from his feathers to gaze at it. It was at that very moment that Red skidded into the room.
"Those things are priceless," the king stated, clenching his hooves in an attempt to control his temper. His gaze flickered over to his queen as the crimson bird came to stand next to his chair, before landing back on the annoying and loudly-colored avian on the table.
"See, they're not even worth anything," Chuck argued, pouting.
"What Leonard means is that they're irreplaceable," Red interjected, his foot tapping impatiently on the floor.
Chuck gasped loudly, his eyes immediately filling with tears as he choked out, "You mean – like Billy?"
Leonard raised a brow at his mate's suddenly guilty look. There was a story here, he just didn't know what it was.
"Yes, sort of," Red admitted, shifting uncomfortably.
The tears were gone, replaced by a deadened look as the shorter bird hopped down from the table to stand in front of Red. "My poor, innocent, lovely Billy — who you mercilessly pulverized in a fit of anger."
Red rubbed between his eyes, before throwing his wings in the air. "Tell you what, I'll help you build a new Billy." Chuck squealed in happiness, making several of the pigs in the room wince. "But you have to give Leonard back his crown jewels," the crimson bird added firmly. A snort of laughter from one of the pigs at the table had Leonard glaring at his men.
"Fine. Party pooper," the yellow bird grumbled, plopping the jewelry on the table with a huff. Leonard rushed to catch the delicate crown before it toppled off the edge.
"Sorry for interrupting your meeting, Leonard. There was a – tiny – incident in the wardrobe room. It may have involved Bomb, and led to Chuck trying on several things that he should not have run away with, but I already have some of the men working on repairing the damage to the wall," Red insisted.
"It's fine. You did the right thing by making sure that the issue had been promptly dealt with," Leonard assured him, taking in the adorable way his queen fidgeted when he was uncertain if he was in trouble. Their eyes met, and Red quirked a smile at him before striding after his yellow friend.
The king was just about to restart the meeting when Chuck's voice reached him from the doorway. "You know, his eyes get soft when he looks at you," the yellow bird was commenting to his queen.
"Stop joking around," Red answered.
"I've seen you look at him like that, too," Chuck continued. The avians' voices trailed off as they rounded the corner, but the yellow one's words were now stuck in Leonard's head like glue.
"Meeting adjourned for today. We will resume at 0800 hours tomorrow," the king ordered. The other pigs were quick to scurry out of the meeting hall, leaving Leonard to his thoughts.
"So, this is Billy." Leonard stared at the odd creature flopping back and forth on the front lawn.
"Billy 2.0. Back and better than ever!" Chuck insisted, hugging his bizarre creation lovingly.
"And still as horrifying as the first one," Red whispered to his husband.
"We don't have to leave it in the front yard forever, do we? It's rather terrifying," Leonard whispered, leaning down to be closer to his mate.
"As soon as Bomb and Chuck have their OWN home, I'll make sure they take it with them," the avian insisted.
(later that night)
"We were talking about your what?" Red nearly shouted in shock, before bursting into laughter.
Leonard found himself chuckling, as well. "It's true. There are jewels, and then there are crown jewels."
"I am so sorry about that. And about Chuck. He is not the easiest bird to tolerate," Red stated, collapsing back onto the bed. Swiftly, he rolled over to face his smiling mate.
"You know, this is just really, really weird, when you think about it," the bird mumbled, staring into his husband's dark eyes.
"What is?" Leonard asked, reaching over to stroke his avian queen's side. His crimson feathers were as soft as silk.
"This thing we have going. Less than a year ago, we were at war. And now we're… well, strangely happy, and married, and raising three children. That's huge, Leonard," Red admitted, tilting his head as he gazed up at his larger mate.
"Yeah, but what a year it's been. I have apologized for stealing your island's unborn children, haven't I?" Leonard wondered aloud, shuffling closer to the smaller male.
"You have. And you've been very good at keeping your word. I still have no desire to see you or anyone else eating unfertilized eggs," Red stated softly.
"And as much as I love our children, I never want to see you regurgitate food for them again — unless I have no other choice. Their needs do come first," Leonard admitted.
Red was smiling now, despite feeling a bit uncertain. Then, quick as his yellow friend was known for being, he darted closer and nuzzled the other man's cheek with his beak. Having such an intimate closeness with another person, especially his once-sworn enemy, was still rather strange to him.
"I love you as well, Red," Leonard said, bringing one of the bird's crimson wings to his mouth to press a loving kiss to it. The bird in question blushed under his feathers, but didn't try to tug his wing away. Instead, he slid closer to nuzzle against the pig's bare chest. They were such an odd couple, but Red couldn't find the energy to care. He was happy, and life was better than it had ever been.