Promise Me
The doctor walked toward Kate as she waited in the corridor. She noted his stride was slow, he looked exhausted and overwhelmed. Beckett swallowed as the doctor stopped in front of her, "Detective Beckett?"
"Yes." She didn't really believe in God as much as some people did, but at that moment she sent up a prayer that whatever news the doctor came to deliver about Castle was good.
"I'm so sorry, but your partner Mr. Castle didn't make it." Kate said nothing only nodded in acknowledgment. She had prepared herself for the news and more importantly she had to deliver the news to Martha and Alexis. The doctor turned and left not wanting to stay as Kate stared off into nowhere. This was all a dream, right? There was no bank heist. The man in the bank never shot Castle in front of Martha, it was just a bluff. She hadn't marched into the bank and put a bullet through the man's skull who had hurt her partner. Though, she had.
Suddenly, she could feel the blood rushing cold through her veins. The wound oozing, one she knew would never stop bleeding. Some wounds are too deep to scar over no matter how much time goes by. Kate knew this. She turned around slowly to go and tell the news to Martha and Alexis in the waiting room. She walked like a zombie, the hospital was a blur, and then she saw the red headed fifteen or was she sixteen years old? It didn't matter. For some reason she could see her with perfect clarity as she stood across the waiting room unnoticed. Kate closed her eyes and inhaled. Rapidly, she was overcome with a memory.
"Promise me if anything ever happens to me you will watch after Alexis." Kate could hear Rick as if it were yesterday.
"Okay." She nodded seriously, reassuring him.
She opened her eyes abruptly and exhaled a puff of air. All of a sudden she was back in the hospital, back to a cruel reality. So, this is how it ends she thought to herself as the millions of voices in her mind came to an abrupt halt as she took her first step toward Martha and Alexis. She looked up and noticed Martha wasn't next to Alexis. Kate inhaled and worry and wonder crept in. She wanted to tell them both together.
Suddenly, Alexis looked up and met Kate's big brown orbs. Kate could hide many things, but tonight the fierce emotion that her sunken almost black eyes shown were evident for all to see. Neither person said a word nor moved. Instead they waited a bit unsure of who was to approach who first. Kate inhaled and walked up to the young redhead as tears streamed down her face Alexis looked up from her chair to Kate.
"Well tell me! Is he okay?!" Alexis' voice trembled as she tried her damdest to command authority.
Kate swallowed tamping down her emotions, "Where is Martha?"
"She had to use the restroom. I need to know Kate! You have to tell me!" Alexis' voice cracked brokenhearted as she yelled at Kate.
Kate drew in a breath, "I'm so sorry Alexis."
Alexis' eyes grew big and then she lost it. Tears falling in a rapid pace down her face. Kate felt out of place, but she promised. She knelt down to her knees and Alexis threw herself on Kate wrapping her arms around Kate's neck as she cried racking sobs into her shoulders.
Martha walked around the corner to see Alexis holding on to Katherine for dear life as she sobbed. Kate was rubbing her granddaughters back and smoothing her hair as she now sat cross legged on the hospital floor with her. Martha knew what had happened and immediately closed her eyes as she inhaled a shaky breath and brought her hand to her mouth. Her eyes watered, as small tears trickled down her face. Her baby boy was gone. Now what? Martha walked out of site and leaned against a wall as she cried harder.
Alexis' cries were silent now as tears rushed down her face. She pulled out of Kate's embrace and looked at her, "Nothing will ever be good anymore. I want my Grams."
Kate inhaled and looked the broken hearted child directly in her eyes. Then she placed her hands on either side of her face as she brushed her tears away with her thumbs, "Alexis, someone once told me that even on the worst of days, there is a possibility of joy."
"They don't sound like they knew what they were talking about." Alexis pulled out of her grip. Just then her Grams walked up.
Alexis stood and ran into her Grams open arms, "Dad didn't make it!" she said as the hiccupping loud sobs started again.
"I know baby, shhh. I know." Martha cooed to her granddaughter, but it did no good. All of a sudden Martha met Katherine's dark orbs over Alexis' shoulder.
'Thank you.' Martha mouthed.
'Always.' Beckett mouthed back as she left the two and headed home.
Now alone in her apartment she sat in a now cold shower as blood drained fast from her open wound, which she knew would never heal. Finally, it had happened. She had no idea what time it was only that it was morning and she would never be the same again. She loved him and she had never told him. Tears rushed down her face falling with the shower water. They poured down her face as racking sobs over took her.
It was now Monday and no one had heard from Kate. It was to be expected, everyone knew what happened last night. Worst yet, everyone knew how much more Castle really meant to Beckett. Her admission of just partners was a ridiculous notion to everyone else.
Espo looked at Ryan, "I'll be right back, cover for me."
"Where are you going?" Ryan asked.
"Beckett." Esposito replied and Ryan nodded.
Esposito knocked for a third time and received no answer. So, he dug out the key in his pocket and walked in. "Beckett?"
No answer.
"Beckett?" still Esposito received no answer. He started to look around the apartment and came across the bathroom door, shut tight. He knocked to no avail and slowly opened the door to find Beckett in the shower teeth chattering, arms folded across her chest, and legs pulled up. She was shivering badly and didn't acknowledge his presence. He quickly shut the shower curtain and went on a hunt for towels.
Finding a towel he handed it to her and she let it fall to the ground.
"Jesus." He picked the towel up and wrapped her in it, "Beckett you need to get up!"
She stood slowly and he directed her out of the shower and into her room where he laid her on the bed the towel covering her. He rolled his eyes and mumbled in discomfort as he dug through his superior's drawers and grabbed the first pair of pajamas he found. He handed them to her. "Beckett you have to put these on. Now!"
Slowly her eyes looked up to meet Espo's and she inhaled. "Okay."
Her voice was a mere whisper. Javie inhaled and let out a breath as he ran his hand over his head.
"Good." He walked out of the room hoping she would dress herself.
Beckett sat on the bed. A million pieces of her heart lay shattered on the hospital floor. She realized Esposito had taken her out of the shower. Slowly her mind processed this. That was nice of him, but he wasn't Castle.
Unexpectedly, she noticed her phone vibrate and lite up next to her night stand. She couldn't speak to anyone right now, but for some reason she looked at the screen to see who it was. Alexis Castle. All of a sudden something came over her and she snapped out of it swallowing and inhaling she answered the call, "Beckett."
"I know." Alexis sounded like Kate felt. Kate was quiet as she wondered why Alexis called her in particular. "I found something in Dad's office."
"Oh." Beckett didn't act surprised, but listened intently. A sounding board for the child that needed it even more than she did. She had lost a parent. Kate knew how that felt.
Esposito opened the door a crack to see Kate dressed and on the phone. He wondered with whom, but was just glad she was talking. He wrote a note, left it on her kitchen counter and left.
"It was a yellow sticky note stuck to a picture of me in his desk drawer." Alexis said in a voice so quiet Kate could barely hear her.
"Mmmm" Beckett didn't know how to reply.
"The note said that even on the worst of days, there is a possibility of joy. It had a heart scribbled on the sticky note. Did my dad tell you that?" Alexis asked a hopeful wonder hung in her tone.
Beckett drew in a breath, "No. I told him that."
"Why do you think he has it there?" Alexis didn't understand.
Kate exhaled, a slight smile graced her lips, "Alexis, no matter what happened or however bad his day was. He would come home to you and realize that in retrospect everything was okay. You are his joy."
Beckett could hear muffled tears on the other end of the line.
"I didn't want to tell you, but you weren't his girlfriend you were Beckett. Kinda part of the family. Anyway, I found a picture of you at your desk at your work in another one of his desk drawers. I just wanted to know if you want it back." Alexis asked somberly.
Kate inhaled as a silent tear rolled down her cheek, "Sure. Thanks Alexis."
"Mmmhhmm." Alexis didn't have anything else to say and she just wanted to go crawl back into her bed and cry. "Bye, Kate."
"Bye, Alexis." Kate didn't bother wiping the tears that started to roll at a faster pace down her face, but let them. It was healthy to let it out. She exhaled a shaky breath as she smiled slightly, realizing that Alexis was the only reason she had snapped out of it this morning. She laid her head back down onto her pillow as she whisper aloud, "Everything has changed Castle, but don't worry I won't ever take my eyes off of Alexis. She's a great kid and I will protect her with my whole heart. I love you Castle. I always have."
Alexis pulled the comforter back and got back into bed. She rested her head gently onto the pillow and whispered aloud, "Dad, I miss you. I don't know why, but I called Detective Beckett today. I think it's because I found the yellow sticky note attached to my picture in your top drawer of your office desk. Beckett said it meant that I was what you found joy in no matter what happened that day." Tears streamed down her face as she sniffed, "I love you Dad and I wish you were still here."
Do you guys want more or I'm unsure if I should just leave it as a one shot or not.