DISCLAIMER: Any and all resemblance to your stories are purely coincidental; I made a point to fabricate the stories that they read so that no one would feel like they were being unfairly mocked. My intention is not to mock, but to entertain, so please read without insult; I'm calling out my own personal fanfiction falls from grace as well:-) The idea is to parody trends, not insult authors.

Chapter One: Snickers and Snickerdoodles

The wonderful world of the internet. A rolling hillside of knowledge, a sea of information with bloggers casting their nets for this morning's garbage. Facebooks, live journals, deviant art, and other deliciously addictive vices waited every time Julia signed on.

And there was no vice sweeter than the internet.

Pulling up google, Julia decided to try something new. A friend of hers from her Arizona research team had emailed with her the greatest idea: "Just type in your name in google, see what pops up!" Buried under legitimate genetic reports were stories of hookers, crooks and lawyers all wandering around with her friend's name.

"Julia Chang." Her loading bar ran away with the name as google sifted through millions of webpages. When the first images popped up, Julia's breath caught.

It was her. Not her professional work, not her publications, but her personal life splayed out over nearly ten thousand hits. She even had a Wikipedia page. Scrolling through stories of the Tournaments, of the people she met and her life in the United States, she noticed they all shared one header: Fan Fiction.

"Xiaoyu! Asuka!" Julia ran into the gym. Nearly forty faces flew up, and Julia turned a brilliant brick red. Apparently, people at this level of fighting competitions weren't accustomed to others running in and shouting excitedly.

Xiaoyu looked at Asuka from across the room. Asuka shrugged, wagging her finger in a circle. "Crazy," it said in clear body language. Still, the two girls put down their training gear, and padded across the perfectly silent gym until they were out of earshot.

"So, what's up?" Xiaoyu asked. Her voice was friendly but her face was wary; or as wary as she could look with pigtails.

"I found something really cool and exciting!"

Julia had hoped to inspire some curiosity into the two girls. Asuka shattered that dream fast. "Um, we don't talk."

"Yeah, it was such a surprise when-" Xiaoyu began. She stopped, before asking "Why didn't you ask the other girls?"

The thought of asking Nina or Anna Williams was about as appealing as lying in a tank full of scorpions. They liked guns and pain too much. And Christie? Really, there was only enough room for one hot, tan girl in Daisy Dukes. "They wouldn't appreciate it."

"How about the boys?" Xiaoyu persisted.

An image of Ganryu danced through Julia's head. The pounding gave her a headache.

"Because she's smart." Asuka answered for her. Then she paused, rethinking that. "But only kind of, since we don't talk."

"Can you pretend we do and see something really cool and exciting?" Julia snapped.

There was a terrifying moment moment when she thought her audience would walk right out of the theatre right there. Asuka stopped, raising an eyebrow. "Wait, dude, are you going to lead me to a plain, unmarked white van, toss us in sacks in the back and harvest our organs to donate to charity?"

Julia blinked. "Um… No."

Asuka grinned broadly in relief. "Cool, I'm game!"

Xiaoyu's pigtails bounced with her nod. "I'm curious, let's go!"

"HEY, KAZAMA." Hwoarang's voice rang in the hall.

Jin sighed. Time to turn on his aura of mystery. As much as he could while standing in front of a vending machine buying Snickerdoodles, at least. The redhead appeared, bouncing down the hallway with curling bits of ruffled hair fought out from under his riding goggles.

"What do you want," Jin muttered. "An ass-kicking?"

"No." Hwoarang stopped in front of Jin, crossing his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes.

"A fight?" Jin turned to face Hwoarang, crossing his own arms across his chest.

Hwoarang didn't bat an eye. "No."

"A verbal assault?" Jin sneered.

"No." It occurred to Hwoarang that he hadn't blinked in a while. He would have thought about how fortunate that was for a face-off, but the moment he thought about it, he blinked.

"A witty exchange of insults?" Jin felt like he was reaching for straws.

"Still no."

Jin stared. This was beginning to feel a lot like Pictionary. The vending machine whirred as Jin's purchase dropped down through the slot. Both of them looked down at the bright package briefly before they locked eyes again. "…A cookie?"

"No." Hwoarang paused, looking down at the package again. His eyes lit up. "Wait, Snickerdoodles? Those are the cookies of gods!"

"Great!" Jin picked up the package and ripped it open. "You can't have one."

Hwoarang rolled his eyes. Ripping his riding goggles off of his head, he shook loose his hair. "Fine, that's not why I'm here anyway."

If Hwoarang wasn't here to antagonize him, Jin wondered, then why was Hwoarang here antagonizing him? A paradox that couldn't be solved until he had finished spitefully eating Hwoarang's beloved Snickerdoodles in front of his face.

Watching Jin stoic and silent as he ate his cookies, Hwoarang sighed. "So the guys and I are in the gym, right, and we hear girls giggling." Jin could feel nervousness set in. No good came from that. "Lei went out to ask politely for them to be quiet, but when he got close, he started listening."

The two instinctively checked both sides of the hallway. Leaning forward, Hwoarang continued. "He heard our names."

Jin showed perhaps the most outward display of emotion yet: his lip twitched.

"Us guys are really freaked out, nothing good has ever come from hoards of chicks talking and laughing about boys. So even if you're a bastard and I hate your guts, I'm making sure you're on the right side."

Gaggles of girls giggling. Jin felt the shiver of terror. He nodded, uncharacteristically taking Hwoarang's hand and clasping it. When Hwoarang opened it, he realized he had left a cookie. "You're going to need it."

Hwoarang smiled grimly, turning and leaving. Jin began to do the same, when he realized something. Turning around, he called. "Wait, why did everyone send an idiotic ass-hole like you to tell me?"

Tossing a sardonic grin over his shoulder, Hwoarang said "They're scared. Your name was the one most mentioned."

And for a desperate moment, Jin doubted even the Snickerdoodles could save him.

"Wait wait wait, check another one, check another one!" Asuka managed between gasps. Xiaoyu was a total loss, curled up in a small ball on the floor, giggling and rolling as Julia read aloud from the screen.

"Listen to this one, it's a High School Musical and Tekken crossover!" Julia felt her cheeks ache from smiling too much, and her abs was getting a serious work-out from laughing so hard. "You and Jin are the leads, Xiaoyu!"

"Oh, don't read another Xiaoyu one," Asuka huffed, crossing her arms angrily.

"Don't worry, you get to be the bad guy." Julia said as she clicked on the link.

"Who are you?" Xiaoyu asked, sitting up and looking over Julia's shoulder.

Julia paused. Her mouth dropped open as she read the cast list beginning under the disclaimer. Asuka peeked over her shoulder. "She's the nerd!" Asuka cried.

"Are you serious?" Xiaoyu descended into a fit of giggles again.

"I'm not a nerd!" Julia cried. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, since they had slid down in her horror.

"What did you say your job was?" Asuka asked.

"I'm an archeologist, that means I dig and research-" Julia stopped when she saw Asuka and Xiaoyu's knowing smiles. "Hey, Indiana Jones was an archeologist too and he was Harrison Ford, a beautiful BEAUTIFUL man with plenty of social skills who was CERTAINLY not a nerd."

"You just used to word certainly in a casual conversation. You're a nerd," Asuka pointed out.

"It's okay," Xiaoyu said quickly, noticing Julia's taken-aback expression. "Just because you're a nerd doesn't mean you can't be happy or have meaningful relationships!"

"That's exactly what it means," Asuka quipped.

"You know what?" Julia snorted. "Shut up and let's read."

Grinning, Xiaoyu jumped to her feet and with her and Asuka each over a shoulder, Julia scrolled down under where it said chapter one.

From page one, main character Xiaoyu fawned, mooned, moaned, groaned, dreamed, ate, drank, and thought Jin Kazama. "I'm so not that bad," Xiaoyu muttered.

Asuka and Julia caught one another's eye. "That bad?" Asuka half-smiled.

"You're WORSE," Julia finished for her. They slapped a quick high five before scrolling on. Xiaoyu just sighed with an eye-roll.

Main character Xiaoyu's peppy antics and shameless flirting, though royally annoying, managed to win over Prince of High School Jin and get him to invite her out to Karaoke.

"Karaoke? In the middle of a fighting tournament?" Asuka propped her elbow on Julia's shoulder.

"Do I really come off that irritating?" Xiaoyu asked, twirling a pigtail.

Asuka looked over Julia's head. "You wear pigtails and pink. YES."

"I don't think you're anywhere near that bad," Julia said quickly. Xiaoyu nodded, satisfied. When they turned back to the screen, however, they saw the chapter was over. "You guys do realize that there are hundreds if not thousands of stories about us on dozens of different websites, don't you?"

There was a pause. The three girls caught each others' eyes, giggling a little as they looked back at the screen and scrolled past summaries and summaries of stories. The fun stopped when they realized they had many more pages, websites, and other sites there were to go and the time was flying fast. "I have to get back to training," Xiaoyu said softly.

"Yeah, me to," Julia said.

"But we should totally do this tomorrow, after we're all done training let's meet back here, order some pizza and see what else these people have!" The moment Xiaoyu said it, she got two emphatic yeses before Julia powered down her computer and the three head out to hit the gym.