Everything was dark, terribly dark. I hear someone screaming in the distance and can feel my heart race. I feel as though I have been standing there for an eternity before the screaming fades out and all I can hear is ragged breathing. It's too deep sounding to be my own and I can feel my feet slowing moving forward when suddenly there's a flash of red that slowly fades to pink. I feel a hand pat the top of my head and I spin around so quickly that it makes me feel nauseous.

Szayel.

And then I wake up.

I sat up in bed with a jolt and look to see if Gaby is still asleep. Her bed is neatly made, as usual, and I can hear her pattering around in our en suit. I mush up my hair and rub the sleep out of my eyes before slipping out of bed. As much as I hated wearing a uniform almost every day, it does make getting ready much easier. After getting done tying my robes I sat down at the dressing table Gaby and I share. My hair has become less of a fuss since I cut it a few months ago. Now it stops about halfway down my neck and with less weight it curls just slightly. It's still frizzy, frizzy and red. After popping on a bit of eyeliner and mascara I wait for Gaby to be done in the bathroom so that I can finish my routine and head down to breakfast. I pull up the covers on my bed, a habit my roommate forced me into though mine is still full wrinkles. I swear you could bounce a quarter off of her sheets.

Life in the seireitei was definitely an adjustment, but I guess after a few years you can get used to just about anything. It's been three years since Hueco Mundo. Three whole years since my life got turned upside down. The people here have made the adjustment much easier. Lex and I had a flash course at the academy before we were placed in our divisions. Separate divisions to our utter disappointment. I was placed in the Eighth Division and to honest I absolutely loved it. Kyroraku is a great captain, albeit a lazy captain a good man none the less. We've come a long way from him sitting on the foot of my sick bed. He's like a father figure in a weird, well very weird way. He listens to me when I'm having problems and has done everything to make my transition a smooth one. I know it was him who talked the captain commander into letting Lex and I visit home on a somewhat frequent basis.

After a few weeks in the seireitei we were given gigais to return to the world of the living to let our mothers know what happened to us. They already knew all about Soul Society so we weren't really divulging any big secrets. It was an odd experience telling my mother I was dead but also alive. I spared her most of the details and told her that we were taken by powerful hollows and eventually turned into soul reapers. I still get to visit her on major human holidays as long as a mission doesn't come up. So a few times a year the portal is opened for Lex, Rukia, and me. Rukia visits the Kurosaki's and through our little trips to the portal the three of us have become an odd little group; the three soul reapers going to visit their human families. I guess the Kurosaki's consider Rukia family, I mean she practically lived in that Ichigo dude's closet for God only knows how long.

Speaking of family I also got to know Toshiro a lot better over the years. We have lunch together every Sunday. It's nice having some form of blood relative around. He and I are similar in a lot of ways: serious about our work and sharing the same dry since of humor. We are both fiercely loyal to those we care about. I get along pretty well with Rangiku too; being around Lex for so long must have prepared me. It helps that the eighth and tenth barracks are right beside each other.

Lex and I are still the best of friends. We train together on weekends and Lex drags me to the Women's Society meetings, most of the time literally. It was an adjustment not sleeping in the same room as her after spending months listening to her weird sleeping babble. Now I share a room with Gaby who has become my official partner of sorts. We share the fourth seat title along with just about everything else, paperwork, missions, living quarters, and sometimes clothes when one of us has forgotten about laundry. We work really well together. I would have been far too distracted if Lex was my partner. Gaby and I have similar temperaments, quiet, and hardworking but know when to let our hair down and have a good time. We also fight extremely well together. Gaby's shikai is lightning based and we are both nimble and quick. Kyroraku thinks that we were twins in some past life with the way we are so in synch with each other when we fight. As a result she is the person that I'm closest to here behind Lex.

Lex is great friends with Rangiku and Rukia. Sometimes all five of us will go out for drinks, which usually ends up with me dragging a very intoxicated Lex back to her barracks and Gaby and Rukia are left to deal with Rangiku. Let's just say that I have the easier job.

Lex moved up in the ranks just as I did and is the fourth seat of the fifth division. Aizen's old squad. I couldn't imagine how hard going there must have been. It was basically in shambles. Momo Hinamori only recently came back to full active duty after her mental and physical turmoil regarding the whole Aizen thing, not that anyone could blame the poor girl. Hinamori now acts as the third seat. Things got better for the fifth division after they got a new captain and lieutenant. More like a reinstated duo. Shinji and Hiyori. That threw us both for a loop. My Houdini of an ex-boyfriend and his "cousin" were now in a position of authority over my best friend. Needless to say Lex was far from happy but after an extremely childish (but highly entertaining) pranking war between the two, Shinji and Lex called truce. You'll even on a rare occasion hear Lex say that Shinji is a great captain, which he is.

We've talked a view times and he explained the whole visored thing and that he left to train Kurosaki and he couldn't tell me. I forgave him a long time ago but least now I know the whole story. I still get emotional about it every now and again, but that life is over now. Besides, it's hard to mourn for two loves at the same time.

I still think about Szayel and dream about him occasionally like I did this morning. They're just fragments now, more feelings than memories. The first few months after his death I would wake up screaming with the image of his dead broken body burned into my skull. At least Lex didn't have to see Ulquiorra die. We don't talk about our time in Los Noches all that much, mainly because I won't talk about it, much to Lex's dissatisfaction. She thinks that I'm bottling up all of these emotions and that one day I'm going to explode. I'd rather forget about it and let it become a memory rather than constantly bring it up. It might not be the right way to deal with things, but that's just how I do it.

I know that Lex talks to Rangiku about these things and I'm glad that Lex has someone that she can talk to. Ran's been dealing with her own emotional mess since discovering that everything Gin did was for her. Gin was only doing the whole dark side thing to get close enough to kill Aizen because of what his men had done to her all those years ago. It took her awhile to finally admit that she was raped and we were all sworn to secrecy. During the battle Gin died and was buried with full honors. Ran still leaves him flowers that she picks herself. When I still couldn't sleep months after the battle I would go on early morning runs and find her sleeping at his grave site. I would wake her up and walk her back to her barracks without either of us saying a word. Still to this day I've never told anyone about those early mornings. Rangiku Matsumoto would never want to be seen as weak.

So much has happened in the past three years that I've come to rely on the organization and routine that the Gotei 13 has to offer. Gaby and I were making our way over the mess hall to get some breakfast and it was a beautiful spring day with the cherry blossoms in full bloom. A gentle breeze was making the hem of my black kimono billow slightly. A nice rhythm was being made by our sandals hitting the graveled path and our katanas hitting our sides and occasionally each other; I being left handed and Gaby being right handed puts our swords on opposite sides. I had to definitely strengthen my right arm though since my sword actually splits when I release my shikai.

I gave a content sigh after closing my eyes and taking in the warm, fragrant spring air. It would have been a wonderfully pleasant morning had someone not shunpoed directly into me knocking me flat on my ass. I let out a groan and rubbed my lower back and glared at Lex whose hands were on her hips and a cheeky grin was spread across her face. Lex hasn't changed much in the past few years, though I can't say that I have that much either with the whole you-age-slower-because–you're-dead thing. Her long curly black hair was pulled in a loose side braid with little dark curls sticking out in random places. I swear she's gotten taller while I've stayed the same shrimpy height. I shouldn't complain. Rukia swears she would love to be my size. Most people are in fact taller than Rukia Kuchiki. Lex toned up from all of the rigorous training. I was already somewhat muscularly defined for someone my size due to high school tennis. Now Lex's boobs just looked bigger to my chagrin.

I shook my head as she helped me up and I brushed myself off. "Jesus, Alexandra it is too early for your shenanigans," I said with a huff. I cut my eyes at Gaby who was stifling a giggle. "It's not shenanigans my dear Caralynne," Lex stated with her nose stuck up in the air. "It is official Fifth Division business. And might I say that you are growing quite grumpy in your old age." I groaned and rolled my eyes. My twentieth "human" birthday as we were calling it was this weekend and I was hell bent on ignoring it. Lex was not helping. I looped arms with Gaby and continued to walk. "Well official business will just have to wait until after breakfast," I called over my shoulder. Lex shunpoed in front of us looking quite pleased with herself. I wanted to strangle whoever taught her how to shunpo. "Nope, sorry Captain's orders, and Captain says he needs to speak with you…now. So you'll just have to march your little ginger self over to fifth division and see what dear old Shinji wants. Me and Gaby will go have breakfast." With that she pulled me away from Gaby and looped her arm with the smaller girls and the two started skipping away to the mess hall. "Traitor!" I yelled at Gaby. "I'm not even sorry!" came Gaby's distant reply.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Better go see what Shinji wants," I thought to myself. I turned around and headed to the direction of the fifth squads barracks. This could not be good whatever it was. I was about halfway there when my stomach started to growl. "Well shit," I mumbled to myself.