Hello! I am back again with another short story- this one is tied to my other story, but is more of a prologue, if you will. There won't be too much in this story, I just find Darrel's character very interesting and I like delving into what his life is like and how it could play out. I also love all the angsty family affairs and brotherly love kind of stuff.

So, here you go- a take on what Darry's thoughts were after receiving Sodapop's draft letter!

XO, Sensible Daydreamer

(I don't own The Outsiders)

Decisions, Decisions

I've had that letter for the past few days and it's only now that I'm starting to feel anxious. Sodapop sure is gonna brain you, I chuckle to myself. He'll hit the roof and either run away or try to do all he can to make things right; in fact, knowing him, he'll answer to the call of duty, make like it was no big deal and grin like he always does. But he won't. Well, truthfully, he can't, I'm the older brother and I'll do whatever is necessary to make sure he's safe. Him and Ponyboy, my heart sinks as I think about them.

I've been sitting in the driveway of my home for at least a half hour now. It's a resolve, something I know I was just destined for, and I can't help but curse whatever greater being existed for the hand that I've been dealt. Our family has been through so much and now this.

I swear out loud and slam a fist into the steering wheel.

Soda has been drafted; in fact he's supposed to report this Sunday. That's in three days. They sure don't give you much of a notice. I foolishly think about whether I'll make it back or not. But I will. I have to. I have the best chance at surviving in Vietnam, whatever that entails, and I'm not bragging it's just a fact.

All those rumbles and wrestling matches we've had, not to mention those shooting lessons from dad, has provided me with some sort of experience in how to handle whatever it is that I'll be dealing with.

But deep down I know that it's different out there. This isn't just some silly game between three to see who could shoot the most for dinner- I was going to be shooting to live.

Shooting for my life.

I swallow hard and shake the ringing out of my ears. The warmth of the sun has brought me back to reality. Though it sits high in the sky, I know that the day is well into the afternoon. I haven't even made a move on preparations for dinner.

Steve and Soda should be showing up soon and I know Pony and Two-Bit will be in tow; they're out celebrating the start of the summer, since that definitely calls for a celebration, and since I've been given a promotion at the construction company, the celebration will end in a barbeque, Curtis style.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I compose myself and make my way into the house, grabbing the grocery bags from the back seat and checking the mail (though I had just checked it yesterday); all the while, I try to contain my anger and organize my thoughts as best as I can. But my brain whirs at a million miles per second and that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach persists.

I'm going to have to make it up to them somehow. After all, I won't be seeing them for a long, long while.

"Wow, Darry, you're really goin' all out for dinner aint you?" Soda muses as I clean the grill. I just smirk at him. I want to smile, but ever since that letter, I've found it hard to be genuine around my brother. He doesn't notice this, which I am glad for, but Pony does and somehow that scares me more.

"Yeah, well, when was there ever a time Darry didn't go all out for dinner? The guy likes to show off, remember?" Steve retorts as he passes a football to Two-Bit. This isn't the first time anyone has ever said that to me, but for some reason it irritates me to hear it coming from him. It takes all I have not to intercept that ball and hurl it back at him full force. Soda turns around.

'Aw, you're just jealous, Stevie because Dar can cook and you can't!"

"Well, I can cook better than you!"

"Oh really?" and they're off to it again. I wonder about they're friendship and try to remember the first time I ever met Steve.

The sun is making its slow descent beneath the horizon and Pony is taking it all in on the front porch, writing something down in his journal.

Coming to an end with whatever it is that he's writing, he closes his journal and looks up, grinning good-naturedly at us. He hasn't written in it since Johnny and Dallas died.

I hope he doesn't lose that light about him. It's worth fighting for and only Soda and I see it in him. What Soda doesn't know is that he has that same light about him too. It can't change, I won't let that change.

Once the coals are lit, I place the burgers on the grill and keep an eye on them, listening to everyone else banter with each other.

"No way!" Soda laughs incredulously. "Hate to say it buddy, but you got yourself into that mess all by yourself!" Soda passes the ball aggressively at Steve who's now feigning shock at my brother. I roll my eyes, remembering the night that that happened. Two-Bit had practically broken the door down to tell me the story. And the following morning, it was all over the newspapers: "Notorious Drug Dealers Finally Arrested thanks to Juvenile Delinquents". Of course, Soda and Steve had high tailed it out of there before they could get their names and pictures.

"Who was it that told them we were rich, Soda? Who?"

Soda bites his lip to keep from laughing, Steve glares at him, snapping back a pass.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Boy, for two junkies higher than the empire state building, they sure can move; chased me all the way down the street when I told 'em who we really were! I aint never met anyone like 'em… They might of looked high class, but they smelled like shit!"

"Hey, man, how were we supposed to know that they were drug dealers? And besides, at least we were able to get our fix!" Soda looks back and winks at me. I knew they didn't really take or abuse drugs of any sort. Because if they had, I would've been all over their asses. Yes, the both of them.

"You know, Stevie, your face is gonna become permanent if you keep glarin' like that," Two-Bit remarks nonchalantly. Pony is laughing into his fist and I can't help but smile too when Steve shoots a look of disdain at Two-Bit.

"Yeah Steve, then Evie will surely be done with you." Soda scoffs in disbelief at our brother, the two of us sharing a knowing look. Pony trespasses into dangerous territory with that comment. Steve and Evie's relationship has always been rocky, but lately it's been non-stop fighting between the two and it's taken quite a toll on Steve.

I sigh inwardly at my brother's poor timing for jokes, still grinning because though this sometimes proves to be his demise, it is also funny.

Two-Bit's laugh echoes throughout the lot as Steve drops the ball and chases my brother off the porch. Soda screeches enthusiastically and cheers for our brother as he effortlessly outruns Steve; Ponyboy even finds time to spin around and flip him a couple of birds whilst sticking his tongue out.

Flipping the burgers over, I take the chance to rethink over my plan. Along with doing some extra grocery shopping this morning I had driven to a building downtown where the Military Entrance Processing Station was supposedly located. There I explained my situation and after much arguing and pushing, I had persuaded them to change out Soda's name and face for mine, noting for it to be a malfunction when it was pulled during the lottery.

"You look older for 18, but I guess that doesn't matter," the man said stiffly after having me fill out some paperwork. He then explained to me all the risks that came with my request as well as the process for check-in on Sunday. I barely registered any of the information, though, since I was still shocked that I had succeeded in my mission. I guess they didn't care as long as someone was going…

"Dar, heads up!" Someone's voice cuts into my thoughts and I bring my hand up just in time to catch the ball, which was close to beheading me. I shoot a glare at Two-Bit as he scratches the back of his head sheepishly.

"Sorry Superman, I was aimin' for the kid!" He stutters pointing at Pony who is nowhere near me. I'm not impressed. Pony just puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head ruefully.

"You know, Two-Bit, sometimes I wonder what we keep you around for…" I mutter, throwing the ball as far past my friend as I possibly could. I smirk as everyone's eyes follow the ball in amazement.

"Aw, c'mon Darry, that's not fair…" Two-Bit pouts as it whizzes past a couple houses and disappears into the trees on the edge of the lot. Steve whistles long and low. Soda and Pony clap in unison.

"Well, go and get it Two-Bit- you're the one who pissed him off, so you can be the one to fetch the ball," Steve says pointedly. Pony makes his way over to me as I flip the last of the burgers.

"Hey Darry can I ask you somethin'?"

"Sure thing, kiddo."

"Is everything alright?" I am startled not only by his bluntness but that he would ask me this. He's never voiced his concern for me, not that I've wanted him to, but he doesn't need to. He should know that. I look at him unsure about what he's getting at. I hope it has nothing to do with how I've been around Soda.

I keep an impassive face.

"Yeah everything's fine… why do you ask?" Pony shrugs and fiddles around with the plate that I've brought out to put the burgers on. He avoids eye contact; something that never sits well with me.

"You just seem to be actin' real strange lately, that's all," he says quietly. Don't you worry about it, kiddo, I think to myself. I smile and ruffle his hair.

"What do you expect? Now I gotta deal with having all of you in the house at the same time!" I try to joke with him. He smiles, but I can see he's not convinced. Pony's smart, I wouldn't expect anything less, but for right now I really wish he'd just drop the subject.

"Yeah, but Dar-" Pony is suddenly tackled to the ground by Soda and a wrestling match ensues at my feet.

"Agh! Soda?! Stop!" Pony struggles but is quick to match Soda's strength after realizing this wasn't going to end anytime soon; Soda just laughs.

"Hey, watch it! I swear, if you knock this grill over— get outta here!" I yell at them, shooing them away from the food. Two-Bit, who still has yet to retrieve the football from the forest, plays ref between my brothers as Steve critiques Soda's methods.

Knowing what's about to come I quickly shovel the burgers onto the plate and swing around before Soda slams Pony's arm down, subsequently knocking the grill over in the process.

That ended their juvenile antics real quick.

"Oops!" Soda says out of breath as he starts gets up. I cross my arms disapprovingly. Steve snickers as my brother's face flushes with embarrassment.

"Sorry Dar!"

Ponyboy takes this advantage and tackles Soda to the ground. The screeching continues as I heave an exasperated sigh and put the grill in its upright position.

I can't help but to feel happy; I realize that I needed to memorize every detail about this moment. As stupid as they could get, it was what made them one of a kind. I was going to need this later.

That's when I spot Pony's journal on the porch and an idea pops up in my head.

It's late and everyone's passed out somewhere in our house. Steve and Soda occupy the furniture in our living room while Two-Bit has made his stay on the floor in the hallway; how he finds this comfortable is beyond me. I was able to guide a sleepy Ponyboy back to his room before he knocked out on his bed. Though it was a rare feat, I didn't really expect anything less after Two-Bit had broken out the beers.

I've just finished cleaning up all the trash and beer cans, careful not to arouse anyone, though I highly doubt that they heard much of anything. Settling into a chair at the kitchen table I rub my eyes and listen to the silence of my own home. I wonder about the days I have left with them.

Should I tell them? The thought is brief but I shake my head in respite. No. I'm not telling them. That would only scare them, not to mention Soda would blow a gasket.

And just disappearing wouldn't?

I rub my brow in frustration. Needing something to distract me I go and pull an old composition out of my dresser. Seeing Pony write in his journal has sparked my interest.

A letter.

That was how I was going to break the news to them. It seemed ridiculous and selfish but it was the only way I would ever be able to explain it to them without having the world explode. Well, without having it explode in my presence, anyway.

I guess I would write to Ponyboy first, since I had no idea how I could ever explain it to Sodapop.

I think for a second about what to say to my youngest brother, and then begin to write. Though I originally thought to write a letter to my brothers, I am quickly carried away in my thoughts and end up writing ones for Steve and Two-Bit also.

By the time I am finished writing it is sometime after four in the morning. The next four hours are the worst four hours of sleep I have ever had.