Disclaimer~ I don't own GW or The Brady Buch, so don't sue. I have no money. I repeat: I HAVE NO MONEY!!! Thanks, and please enjoy!


A Very Brady "Mix-up"
by Senzu Bean

Starring the G-boys.

Act 1:
Introducing, The Marble Horse

Gilligan: Wow, look! The Marble Horse of southern Sri Lanka! picks up the ancient artifact and gets on a boat called "The Minnow"

Dr.J: Amazing! After all these years of searching, we finally have it! Here, give it to me! drops his cigarette and grabs the horse from Gilligan and examines it

Gilligan: I had the identical horse sent to my wife and children back in the states. It'll be safe there when we get back.

Captain: Gilligan! Dr.J! A storm is a-comin'! You two best get inside!

Gilligan and Dr.J head for the galley with the horse. Dr.J's old cigarette starts a fire on the deck. Within a hour, the Minnow sank

SEVERAL YEARS LATER:

News Anchor: Christy's in New York has announced the sale of the rare and beautiful Marble Horse of Southern Sri Lanka to actor Brad Pitt. There is only one other horse like that in the world, however it's whereabouts are unknown. In other news . . .

zooms in on the Marble Horse sitting on a table in a seventies style house. Several people run by

Act 2:
Meet the "Bradys"!

musical intro

Children: Here's the story of a lovely lady. Dorothy's head appears. She smiles wickedly. caption reads: Dorothy Catalonia as Carol Brady who was bringing up three very lovely girls! Duo, Relena, and Quatre's heads appear under Dorothy's. Next to their heads reads: Duo Maxwell as Marcia Brady, Relena Peacecraft as Jan Brady and Quatre Raberba Winner as Cindy Brady, respectively. They put on fake smiles All of them had hair of gold, like their mother-

Duo: My hair isn't gold! Not even close!

Senzu Bean: Shut up and keep singing!

Duo: Fine then, be that way.

Children: - the youngest one in curls. Here's the story of a man named Brady Milliardo appears looking quite angry. Next to him it says Milliardo Peacecraft as Mike Brady who was busy with three boys of his own. Heero, Wufei and Trowa appear with the captions Heero Yuy as Greg Brady, Wufei Chang as Peter Brady and Trowa Barton as Bobby Brady. They look very irritated There were four men living all together, yet they were all alone! Milliardo appears next to Dorothy, who is grinning like a mad man, a-hem, lady Till the one day when the lady met the fellow. And they knew that it was much more than a hunch, that this group might somehow form a family. That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch! The Brady Bunch, the Brady Bunch, that's the way we became the Brady Bunch! Treize's head appears in the center of the screen. Caption says: and Treize Khushrenada as Alice

music ends and attention is turned to Treize who is in the kitchen with Wufei, Trowa and Quatre. Treize is wearing a blue maid's dress and an apron. Trowa and Wufei are wearing polyester dress shirts with huge collars and felt pants, and Quatre is wearing a tiny plaid and lace dress. Quatre is holding a beat up little doll. They are all eating cookies

Quatre: Yum! Great cookies, Ali- I mean Treize. Lieutenant Matilda likes them too! shoves cookie into the doll's face Isn't it good, Matilda?! Hee hee hee!

a car pulls into the driveway and the engine turns off

Treize: Well, I'm glad you like them! Why don't you kids run outside, your mother and father must be home from the store.

the three head for the door start to leave

Treize: Except for you, Wufei. I need you here in the kitchen.

Wufei: blushes

Trowa and Quatre shrug and go outside only to find it's Duo and Relena home from the last day of school. Both are wearing skimpy polyester dresses in retro colors

Duo: I got everyone in the whole 10th grade to sign my year book. Look at the one Mickey Henderson wrote, "To Duo, the cutest *girl* in all of California! Have a super fun summer and call me, I'll be waiting!" Ooh! He's so dreamy, don't ya think, Relena! Relena, did anyone sign *your* yearbook?

Relena: turns slightly pink Of course! Look at this one! "Dear Relena, 2 4 6 8, wear your retainer and your teeth will be straight!" Heh . . .

Duo: Let me see grabs the book from Relena That's from your orthodontist, Relena. God, don't you have any friends?! .waltzes past her three siblings and into the kitchen

Quatre: Don't worry, Relena I'm su-

Duo: EEEEEKKK!!!! rushes back outside and hides behind Relena

Quatre: shakes his head Anyway, just ignore it. Notices Matilda is missing Eeep! Matilda! Where are you?! Oh no! Trowa, she's gone! starts to cry

Trowa: Don't cry, Quatre! I'm sure we can find her. I just happen to be a member of the Junior Detective Club! And this will be my first case!

Trowa and Quatre head back into the house to search for Matilda. Relena is quick to follow

Milliardo and Dorothy pull up in driveway and get out of the car.
Dorothy: Milliardo, honey, help me get the groceries out of the trunk!

Milliardo: Don't ever call me honey, you annoying little freak. Why don't you get your stupid "daughter" to help you! storms into the house yelling Treize keep your hands off him!

Duo: I'll help you, Mom! Gee, you sure did buy a lot of food! carries several bags into the kitchen. Dorothy follows with two bags of her own

Wufei: pulling his shirt back on Let me help you, Duo. glances at Treize and blushes