Losing My Reputation (and Finding Something Else)

The rest of them got something to make them different. Dom got humor. Louis got smarts. And the cousins, the whole lot of them, got every other blessing in the world. Even HE got something. He was unique, different, at least. But what was I? I was "the hot one."

Never beautiful, oh no, that would be too kind for Victoire Weasley. Instead, I got called "hot 'n' slutty." Story of my life.

I'm the one they talk about in the bathroom. They all think I'm just this girl who sleeps around because I can. But what they don't know is my secret.

I've kissed only one person in my whole life, and that was on a dare.

The girls are too intimidated by me to be friends with me and to find that out. And the boys? They're too afraid I'll turn them down. According to my mother, the boys never had that problem when she was my age. Apparently boys had guts back then. She said that Uncle Ron asked her to the Yule Ball. He still blushes when she's in the room.

But back to my problems. Always being the hot one means that I have a bad reputation. Even if none of it is true. But he doesn't know that.

First, I'll admit what they've been trying to get me to admit for years. It's Teddy Lupin. It's always been Teddy Lupin. Most likely, it always WILL be Teddy Lupin. He's the one I'm supposed to end up with.

But I'm not with him. And it sucks.

Their words hurt, but I'm sure they don't know that. Everyone that judges me, they break me a little bit inside. They think they know me, they think that they can judge me for whatever my supposed infractions are. And it sucks. It really really sucks. Everything about it. Because I don't have anyone that I can complain to. No one can help me fight my battles. Because there's so many of them. None of them do much, really, but they are the drops of water in a tsunami. And getting knocked on my back by their force really, really stings.

And so here I am. The summer before my Seventh Year. Only been kissed once. I was playing Truth or Dare with my French cousins and their friends, see, and Teddy was there. Always there. So for the first time in my life, I picked "Dare." Of course, they had to dare me to kiss someone. I begged whatever spiritual beings happened to be listening in on a teenage game to grant my wish. But alas, Buddha, Merlin, Zeus, and Jesus all hate me.

"Victoire, I dare you to kiss…" Please, Teddy, please, Teddy, please, Teddy… "Darren!"

He was my cousin's friend, and cute, I suppose. I think my 15-year-old self believed that Teddy would be jealous. But of course, he never was. Why would he be? I was the school slag. He was the brilliant, usually-turquoise-haired son of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks, war heroes.

This summer, before Seventh Year, is the last summer I'll see him. After this, he's gone. Probably off to go do… do… something… heroic probably. Because he's perfect, and I can't even think of heroic duties. And that sucks.

Later that week, the whole family was at the Burrow. After everything that went on with the Battle of Hogwarts (that I was named for. Love that misspelled name) the land expanded a lot, and was overrun with Weasleys of all ages. We all had our private spots, and mine was this little pond hidden behind some trees. It felt like the middle of the forest in there, and I felt safe.

I sat there and hid my face in my hands. I liked the dark. It was quiet, calming. It didn't judge me, didn't hurt like the daylight did. For the dark, I didn't have to pretend anything. I didn't have to pretend that I was strong, or that their words didn't hurt. I didn't have to pretend that seeing Teddy didn't make my whole body ache.

I didn't have to pretend that I hadn't overheard my family talking about me. I didn't have to pretend that it was worse than any of the abuse I had suffered at school.

I heard footsteps behind me as I was hiding. I assumed it was Dom, she was usually bored around this time.

"Go away."

"What are you doing?" To my infinite shock (and even greater embarrassment), it wasn't Dom. It was Teddy.

"Hiding. Go away."

"From what?"

"Everything. It sucks. And go away, please." I started to cry a little, trying not to let him hear. He walked up behind me and molded his body to my back, trying to comfort me through touch. That move made my cry harder, my whole body shaking.

"Shh, come on, it's all going to be all right." Teddy helped me to stand up slowly and walk deeper into the safety of the trees, and then he wrapped his body around me, stopping me from shivering.

"What's wrong, Vic?" he asked, tilting my face up so that he could look into my eyes. At that moment I saw his eyes for the first time in years. They weren't what I expected. They were honest, loving, and trustworthy. The color didn't matter; he could change that at will. What mattered was the feeling behind them. And that feeling was something I could trust. He might believe me.

"This could take a while," I said to him, laughing a bit.

"Go right ahead." Teddy ushered me to a seat on a fallen log, and he sat next to me, holding one of my hands. I gripped his hand for a second, and then let go, wanting to be able to spit it all out.

"Well, it goes like this. You know how I kind of have a reputation, right?"

Teddy nodded in reply, urging me to go on.

"It's totally and completely unwarranted."

He didn't look shocked. In fact, he gave me a little smile, like he knew that, and I was so silly for thinking he would believe all the lies. Encouraged by this, I continued.

"And today, I overheard some of the cousins and my sister – my sister! Ha, what a sister – talking about me. Saying that I'm cheap. Saying that I'm a pitiful excuse…" I broke off and turned away, trying to swallow the lump in my throat that threatened to overtake me.

"Victoire, don't ever listen to anything they say." Teddy sounded mad, and my ears perked up. "You're so perfect and beautiful and they're just jealous."

I turned around, in shock.

"What did you just call me?" I demanded, the lump suddenly gone. I was angry. Teddy looked down at me, a little surprised.

"Beautiful and perfect. Because you are."

"No, no, I'm not. No one has ever called me beautiful, or perfect, or anything like that. It's always been 'hot' or 'sexy' or something like that. No one – least of all you – can ever find me beautiful. Other girls get to be beautiful and perfect and wonderful, but I get the Veela curse. I get to be the object of lust, never, never ever, love." My eyes were watering by then, but I got the speech out in its entirety.

Teddy looked down at me, smiling a little.

"What? What's wrong?"

"You are so beautiful," he said again, his dark brown (at the moment) eyes locking onto mine.

"Stop it!" I almost yelled. "Stop lying to me! I don't want to be – mmmph!"

He kissed me. Just reached over and did it, as easy as breathing. One of his hands held the small of my back, and the other held my neck, pulling me closer. My eyes were still open in shock as he… astounded me. There were no other words. My eyes slid shut, and it felt like a million tiny explosions were happening on my skin.

"So beautiful," he muttered into my lips, pulling me closer. His lips moved quickly over mine, and mine fell in rhythm. He pushed me down until he was lying on top of me on the log. His whole body pressed into mine. My mind snapped back for a second.

I counted mentally, '3…2…1…' and shoved him off me.

"If I may finish," I said, flashing my eyes, "I was GOING to say, 'I don't want to be some stupid game.'" I cocked my head, looking at him.

Your move, Lupin.

"Victoire," he said, his voice a bit hoarse, "you would never be a game to me. You're too special. I want to be with you. I love you. I really do – mmmm."

Maybe I tackled him, maybe I didn't. Ok, fine, I did. I tackled him so that we both fell to the ground with me on top. Maybe we snogged for hours, maybe we didn't. I'll let you figure that one out.

Around the second hour (or minute, your choice, really), when, shall we say, clothes were beginning to get sparse (ahem, the garden gnomes stole them?), we heard a sound. Well, we didn't hear it the first two times, since we were rather(ahem) busy (doing paperwork?), but when we heard it… let's just say, Merlin himself would have pissed his Most Glorious Pants.

"VICTOIRE GABRIELLE WEASLEY! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

I opened my eyes, looked to my side, and panicked a bit. I quickly turned around and fixed myself up. You know, pulling my shirt down, reattaching my bra, fixing my hair… Just a normal preparation.

"Erm. Kissing. Hi, Aunt Ginny…"

"Are you in a sound state of mind?"

"Yes."

"Are you under any sort of influence of drugs or alcohol?"

"No."

"Well, have fun!" And with that, Ginny Potter threw some condoms at me and left.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

We just shook our head, and (ahem) dove back in.

That summer was the best summer of my life. It was the summer I got rid of my reputation, and found the person I was supposed to be with.

My mum kept saying that it wasn't true love, that I was too young. Maybe I was young, but I knew in my heart that it was true love.

It was the kind of love that had ended the war. The kind of love that Teddy's parents had had.

Most of the family didn't find out until September 1st, when (itty bitty baby) James walked in on us kissing. It wasn't that we were ashamed of dating, that wasn't why we didn't tell them. We chose not to tell them because we knew that it would be a big deal. We didn't want to create drama.

I had chosen to control what people thought of me. I had chosen to be with Teddy. I could choose to get rid of my reputation. That's what I would do. It was my choice.

I got on the train, waving goodbye to my family and Teddy. As soon as we pulled out of the station, Teddy and I screaming, "I love you!" at each other like the lovey-dovey idiots we are, I was tacked by a group of Fourth Years.

"You're dating Teddy Lupin?" one of them asked, spitting on me through her (FRIGHTENINGLY GIGANTIC) braces.

"Yes…" I said, slightly frightened. The girl standing next to Braces, who had pink scrunchies in her hair wrote something down in a notebook she was carrying around.

"We're Teddy's fan club," said the third one, who actually managed to look (relatively) normal. And by normal, I mean that she looked about as normal as Luna Lovegood-Scamander. Scrunchies and Braces nodded their heads really fast, making them look like bobbleheads.

Dear Merlin.

"Uh, that's great, and really really normal, but I… uh… have to go now."

"No! WAIT!" screamed Braces. "What is Teddy's favorite flavour of juice? What is his least favorite rock formation? COME BACK!"

I walked quickly from the Crazies, beginning to run when she started going off about rock formations. Soon I was jogging the length of the train, almost panting from fear.

"Weasley," a girl drawled from my left. Ginevra Smith. Great. Oh, didn't I mention that now, everyone named their children after war heroes? Great…

"Smith," I snarled. Ginevra Smith, despite the fact that she shared a name with my favorite aunt, was a bitch. First Class.

"Well, well, well. Decided we were getting a bit fat, did we?"

"It's called exercise, Smith. Maybe you should try it sometime, loose that baby fat around the middle, eh?"

"Adam thinks I look great, don't you?" she said, looking at a random kid sitting in her compartment. That Random Kid Adam (who will hereafter be referred to as T.R.K.A.) nodded his head, staring at her (coughcoughMAGICALLY ENHANCEDcoughcough) chest.

"But of course, I don't need to sleep with guys to get them to like me, do I, Weasley? I heard about you and Lupin. Must have really slutted it up this time, Weasel. It won't last," she sneered, her cronies behind her laughing. T.R.K.A. just looked confused, and then laughed, a beat late.

"Fuck off, Smith. Just because you're a pathetic loser with no chance in hell of ever finding love doesn't mean you need to take it out on me." I began to walk away in search of a compartment with sane people. Maybe I'd sit with James. He was only a Second Year, who cares. At least he didn't use Random Adams to justify his statements.

"You're a slut and a whore, Weasel. What makes you think anyone would ever love you?" she yelled after me.

"Darling, that's you you're talking about!" I yelled, flipping her off over my head.

That felt good.

Dear Teddy,

Do you know what I realized? It doesn't matter what bitches like Ginevra Smith think.

They're all just jealous, because I got you.

Love, Tori

I sent Romulus, my owl, out the window of my Hogwarts Express compartment. Yes, I named Romy after Teddy's dad's codename. Whatever. He named his Moony. Yes, go ahead. 'Aww' at us. We're just so dang adorable.

Well, it's true!

Dear Tori,

They should be jealous of me, not you.

I'm the lucky one.

Love, Teddy

Author's Note: If you read my other story, don't hate me for not updating! This is an old piece that I edited while procrastinating. It's a couple of years old, actually. One of my baby fics. Leave me reviews and I'll love you forever. And yes, Teddy and Victoire are actually the cutest things ever.

xx S