Title: Unsaid
Author: Mika Kashii Haine
Band: Sadie
Pairing: Mizuki x Mao
Rating: PG13
Genre: Angst
Chapters: One shot
Warning: Un beta-ed, language
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.
Summary: Or just hiding the world with all the ugly humans destroying and walking upon it. Silence.
Comments: Well, this is what it is. Should be sleeping now actually. But I'm not. Obviously, lol. But I wrote this. And I just wanted to post it as soon as even possible, even sooner than that. Comments are love!
And they sit there in silence. Complete silence. Every little sound could be heard. The quiet breathing of two humans. Slight ruffle of clothes as one shifted a bit in their seat. Silence which had lasted for not mere seconds or few minutes. Not yet a day. But some hours has passed since the first knock on the door. Cutting through quiet atmosphere upon reaching the others ears. No vocal greeting. No nod in acknowledge. Just a push of the door to let the man in. As the door got shut not so quietly but still unheard of. They didn't say anything. No one breaking the silence. Which was not awkward. But not peaceful either. It was no-where in between. Just ear deafening silence as thick air, a mist hiding the room. Or just hiding the world with all the ugly humans destroying and walking upon it. Silence.
One would think they sat there in utter understanding. Like they knew everything without the vocal communication some depended so much upon. One could think this was perfection of two lovers. Who has reached the level of perfect mutual understanding. But if you do not voice out your mind. Thoughts, opinions and guesses. How can you know that you are right? It is not possible for one single man to ever know that what's in your heart is in the others.
Suddenly, in the middle of this silent conversation, the brunette man who had arrived those few hours ago. Few? It was more than just a few. But too few to be too long. Rising, rising, he straightened his back. Slightly glaring at the small man curled up in front of him. On the other side of the table. Slowly, pace perfect for silence, turning around. Making no sound in whatever he did. This apartment making no sound to go with the silence that seemed to not end. Slow, long steps led this tall brunette to that door his lover had shut many hours ago. And somehow it seemed so long ago. More than a few hours that wasn't a few but many. Which again wasn't enough to be too long but also too much to handle anymore. Hand on the handle. Down, down, pushing open the door. Heavy rain of ear deafening silence greeted the weary guitarist. Noticing a presence of another behind him. With shoes on he took the first, second and third step before he was outside. Not turning. No talking. And the door got shut again. Loudly as gunfire. But not really heard in this silence they had brilliantly created.
Inside a clutched hand falls to his side. Sprawled fingers linger on the surface of his front door. Head banged into it in pure frustration. Making no sound to be heard. Once. Twice. Sliding down to his knees. Both hands on the wooden surface of that door. A wall keeping them apart. Like the many the blonde have built in his heart. For something as simple as protecting himself. Unwinding. Tears formed in tightly shut eyes. Spilling upon cool flesh of his cheeks. While inwardly his sobbing makes his throat sore and slightly stinging in bitter pain.
Guitarist leaned his back against the closed door. Soaking in the rain he didn't even notice. Not taking any note of it. Pressing more against the wood. Expression of hurt. This heavy door he had not opened a single time. Like the door to the vocalists heart and soul. Timidly always knocking on it. It would always be opened. But closing too soon. If only there were no walls. No need for a door. Just something open and pure. Like he dreamed their relationship could be. Was this even a relationship? Seemed too short to be gone, but too long to feel this way. Lost in time. Stopped, with no ending. Could there be a happy ending? Because he wanted something open and never hidden again. No more suffocating silence of suppressing. A different kind of pain.
Pushing a tired body from the door he had no permission to open. Beginning the heavy, long, tormenting journey down the stairs. Leading from the front door. Too slow. Too silent. Not seeming to be real. Reaching the bottom of the few stairs. Few stairs... and yet it took so long to walk down. Decreasing the short distance between his wet body and his car parked right outside. Sweaty hands despise the pouring rain, upon the handle. A door flew up. Making a smashing sound as it swung hitting the wall with a loud band. Muffled noise of clothed feet on wet stairs. Unable to turn and two arms wrapped possessively around a thin waist. Gripping tightly. Scared to let go. Shedding tears against his lovers back. And the sobs could be heard as they struggled through a sore throat. Unable to strangle it. This silence from many and very few hours got crushed to the ground where it shattered like porcelain as that door inside a vocalists heart got forcefully broken down along with walls that did not protect, only keeping him lonely, fragile and hurt. Tearing down walls from years ago. Silence was broken as they finally got closer to a way of communicating in mutual ways. Using speak and no more guesses hidden inside heads and hearts.
Trust is being built slowly. Love grows. And no more words are left unsaid. Breathing deeper and suddenly everything has a sound of its own. Smell and colours comes to the conscious surface. Colouring the world in vivid shades. Talking it out in the rain. A sweet kiss was shared.
And when trust is building. Love reaches a deeper level. Emotionally intimacy will become physical pleasure. But so deep in love where trust exists. A moment where you cross the line and engulf both in sexual heat will be all the more unique, special. Something happy to remember. A long journey and the road is endless. Every curve created as you go along. But for every turn you take, and all the choices made together, reaching a goal set for two, makes it all worthwhile.
Pleasure will be more intense than the gentlest kiss of affection two lovers can ever share.